$xx for the 1st child & $x for each additional

[NSA4answers]

What is the name of your state? CO

This may be a terribly obvious question... but I am not sure.

My kids both do a lot of the same sports, such as skiing in the winter and swimming in the summer.

A lot of times there is a fee for the first chid, and then a fee for each additional child. This is not even just for sports, it's been lots of other things I have come across when both children are involved, such as child care etc.

My daughter do not have the same father. My youngest daughter is my ex's only child but he thinks she is the "additional child" being that she's younger than my older daughter and that the lowered amount should be hers and what we are to split responsibility for payment. My opinion is that why should HE be getting the additional child discount when she is the only child between us, *I* am the one with the additional child even thought she was born first.

Sometimes this amount difference is not great, but sometimes it's several hundreds of dollars. For example, this year for Swim Team the difference in the additional child is only $10, so no big deal really, but come this winter when ski season rolls back around our mutual daughter will be old enough to join the ski club. The difference for the second child is more than $150 less. Should he be able to pay the "additional child" cost, or is there another common practice for instances like this? It's always bothered me that he benefits from my older child.

Thanks.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? CO

This may be a terribly obvious question... but I am not sure.

My kids both do a lot of the same sports, such as skiing in the winter and swimming in the summer.

A lot of times there is a fee for the first chid, and then a fee for each additional child. This is not even just for sports, it's been lots of other things I have come across when both children are involved, such as child care etc.

My daughter do not have the same father. My youngest daughter is my ex's only child but he thinks she is the "additional child" being that she's younger than my older daughter and that the lowered amount should be hers and what we are to split responsibility for payment. My opinion is that why should HE be getting the additional child discount when she is the only child between us, *I* am the one with the additional child even thought she was born first.

Sometimes this amount difference is not great, but sometimes it's several hundreds of dollars. For example, this year for Swim Team the difference in the additional child is only $10, so no big deal really, but come this winter when ski season rolls back around our mutual daughter will be old enough to join the ski club. The difference for the second child is more than $150 less. Should he be able to pay the "additional child" cost, or is there another common practice for instances like this? It's always bothered me that he benefits from my older child.

Thanks.

I have absolutely no idea. I have never seen that question addressed, anywhere. I can see logic in both of your arguments.

 

[nextwife]

If they are BOTH attending , and one gets a discount BECAUSE of the other, why don't you split the total fees in half and allocate half of the combined amount to each child?

 

[CourtClerk]

Of they are BOTH attending , and one gets a discount BECAUSE of the other, why don't you split the total fees in half and allocate half of the combined amount to each child?

That or YOU decline the discount for the additional child. Why should you get a discount, that you are not willing to pass on (and want to pocket the money) to the other parent because YOU had multiple children? Not everything has to be a debate. Do what's fair. If you're getting a discount, split it. The next argument is going to be about what happens when he refuses outright to pay for the activities.....

It's always bothered me that he benefits from my older child.

It's probably always bothered him that you benefit from your older child too...

 

[NSA4answers]

That or YOU decline the discount for the additional child. Why should you get a discount, that you are not willing to pass on (and want to pocket the money) to the other parent because YOU had multiple children? Not everything has to be a debate. Do what's fair. If you're getting a discount, split it. The next argument is going to be about what happens when he refuses outright to pay for the activities.....

Actually it's not a fight, it was just a question as to how that is handled. I imagine the additional child fee is lower for intact families. That way both children get to enjoy being on a team, in a club, or the parents aren't given an undue hardship by putting both in childcare when we all know it doesn't cost twice as much to raise 2 children as it does one. Even when child support is calculated (at least in Colorado) it doesn't double because of a second child or triple because of a third child. My opinion is that the total should be added together, split in half and then each of us pays our share of our mutual daughters part. Then neither one of us benefits or loses out. The arguement would not be coming from my end. I've always given him the "additional child fee" anyway. The argument comes from his end, and the question presented itself because I thought it fair to add the totals and split, and wondered if there was a common practice on this. I have always tried to do whats fair and I usually get screwed everytime because he doesn't play fair. I wish someone would tell him to "play fair." Please don't think by my asking this question I am in anyway trying to shirk my responsibility as a parent.

If he decided he wasn't going to pay for the extra curicular activiites that our daughter is involved in he'd be violating our order as it states that the parties will pay any extra curricular activities the child is involved in in the form of child support. But... really honestly if the issue arrose I'd pay for it myself because there's no reason our kid should have to lose out on experiences because her dad thinks he already gives me to much money. And then I could sleep at night knowing that I did the best for my kid I could.

It's probably always bothered him that you benefit from your older child too...

Funny you should mention that. Seeing as he makes 3 times as much money as I do, I don't get a dime in child support from her father, and he went into our relationship knowing she was already in my life, took on the responsibility of parenting her in the absence of her dead beat father, became her psychological parent, and then abandoned her and asked for half of the child support (if I ever received any) from her father for the time we were together.... I don't see how I benefit any other way than having the wonderful person that she is in my life everyday. Which is his loss, our custody order gives him visitation rights to her, the same as he has with our mutual daughter. He chose to blow her off at 5 years old and tell her... a 5 year old, that she wasn't allowed to come to his house anymore because some Sk*nk gf of his didn't like that for FIVE years he had been her dad. Her tearing apart my family wasn't enough, she also thought having 2 kids took away time from her and her son and seeing as he is a spineless wimp, he went along with the notion. So yeah I'm benefitting from having her, but not financially like you meant, and if he is bothered by it, that's his own damn fault. He should be.

 

[NSA4answers]

I have absolutely no idea. I have never seen that question addressed, anywhere. I can see logic in both of your arguments.

So can I, I can see where he is coming from, I just wish there was a common practice in this situation that were there would leave less room for argument.

 

[NSA4answers]

If they are BOTH attending , and one gets a discount BECAUSE of the other, why don't you split the total fees in half and allocate half of the combined amount to each child?

I agree with that. I dunno that dad would though, especially when the cost for the second child is drastically less and she's younger, so she's "second."

 

[Cainlord]

For your issue, why don't you just stop the whole extra little fee thing cold, have it charged full price like they were seperate (assuming that there last names may be different?) and send him the bill if it bothers you that much. If you two can't reach an agreement, that seems an easy way to fix the issue.

As for anything outside of that, as I have learned on this board is irrelevant.

 

[2Mistakes]

This is really very simple. I run into this all the time. I have 3 children and a step-daughter. All 4 children live with my wife and I.

Perfect example is when I signed my son and step-daughter up for softball. If signing up 1 child, the cost was $45. If signing up more than 1 child in the same household, it was $45 for the first child, and $15 for each additional. I paid a total of $60 for my son and step-daughter. $60 divided by 2 is $30 for each child. My ex-wife paid $15.

 

[CourtClerk]

This is really very simple. I run into this all the time. I have 3 children and a step-daughter. All 4 children live with my wife and I.

Perfect example is when I signed my son and step-daughter up for softball. If signing up 1 child, the cost was $45. If signing up more than 1 child in the same household, it was $45 for the first child, and $15 for each additional. I paid a total of $60 for my son and step-daughter. $60 divided by 2 is $30 for each child. My ex-wife paid $15.

And see... there is the logical approach.

 

[2Mistakes]

If they are BOTH attending , and one gets a discount BECAUSE of the other, why don't you split the total fees in half and allocate half of the combined amount to each child?

I just went back and re-read this, and I THINK my way of doing it is the same as what nextwife said. I just had to get all techincal and throw numbers in the mix.

 

[NSA4answers]

This is really very simple. I run into this all the time. I have 3 children and a step-daughter. All 4 children live with my wife and I.

Perfect example is when I signed my son and step-daughter up for softball. If signing up 1 child, the cost was $45. If signing up more than 1 child in the same household, it was $45 for the first child, and $15 for each additional. I paid a total of $60 for my son and step-daughter. $60 divided by 2 is $30 for each child. My ex-wife paid $15.

That is reasonable to me. However, not so much to my ex. Glad to know that I don't outlandishly think that is a reasonable solution and there are others out here who agree with it!