visitation start times

[texgirl]

What is the name of your state? Texas

My daughter flies to see her dad once a month. Our three year old orders set arrival and departure times based upon the airline schedules. Since then flight times have changed. I am required to get my daughter to the airport near her dad's home by 6:30, but no earlier than 3. Now there is a flight that arrives at 7:05, the next earliest one arrives at 2:30. If she takes the early flight which leaves at noon, she misses almost a full day of school. If she takes the latter, she misses her last class.

I told my ex that it only makes sense that she take the later flight. He insists that I must either put her on the earlier flight or drive an hour away to another airport to accomodate the schedule (again requiring her to miss almost a full day of school and me a full day of work).

I think it is ridiculous to make 35 minutes (because of airline schedules, something I don't control) the cause of a major fight. He is threatening contempt charges and saying that he won't pick her up if she arrives at 7. At some point, doesn't commonsense kick in in matters of this type?

 

[BelizeBreeze]

What is the name of your state? Texas

My daughter flies to see her dad once a month. Our three year old orders set arrival and departure times based upon the airline schedules. Since then flight times have changed. I am required to get my daughter to the airport near her dad's home by 6:30, but no earlier than 3. Now there is a flight that arrives at 7:05, the next earliest one arrives at 2:30. If she takes the early flight which leaves at noon, she misses almost a full day of school. If she takes the latter, she misses her last class.

I told my ex that it only makes sense that she take the later flight. He insists that I must either put her on the earlier flight or drive an hour away to another airport to accomodate the schedule (again requiring her to miss almost a full day of school and me a full day of work).

I think it is ridiculous to make 35 minutes (because of airline schedules, something I don't control) the cause of a major fight. He is threatening contempt charges and saying that he won't pick her up if she arrives at 7. At some point, doesn't commonsense kick in in matters of this type?

Your ex is correct. Follow the court order until such time as the COURT changes it.

 

[Silverplum]

What is the name of your state? Texas

My daughter flies to see her dad once a month. Our three year old orders set arrival and departure times based upon the airline schedules. Since then flight times have changed. I am required to get my daughter to the airport near her dad's home by 6:30, but no earlier than 3. Now there is a flight that arrives at 7:05, the next earliest one arrives at 2:30. If she takes the early flight which leaves at noon, she misses almost a full day of school. If she takes the latter, she misses her last class.

I told my ex that it only makes sense that she take the later flight. He insists that I must either put her on the earlier flight or drive an hour away to another airport to accomodate the schedule (again requiring her to miss almost a full day of school and me a full day of work).

I think it is ridiculous to make 35 minutes (because of airline schedules, something I don't control) the cause of a major fight. He is threatening contempt charges and saying that he won't pick her up if she arrives at 7. At some point, doesn't commonsense kick in in matters of this type?

What you'll have to do is file for a modification. He's being a jerk, but the CO allows him to be that picky. So change the CO.

 

[JBMD]

What is the name of your state? Texas

My daughter flies to see her dad once a month. Our three year old orders set arrival and departure times based upon the airline schedules. Since then flight times have changed. I am required to get my daughter to the airport near her dad's home by 6:30, but no earlier than 3. Now there is a flight that arrives at 7:05, the next earliest one arrives at 2:30. If she takes the early flight which leaves at noon, she misses almost a full day of school. If she takes the latter, she misses her last class.

I told my ex that it only makes sense that she take the later flight. He insists that I must either put her on the earlier flight or drive an hour away to another airport to accomodate the schedule (again requiring her to miss almost a full day of school and me a full day of work).

I think it is ridiculous to make 35 minutes (because of airline schedules, something I don't control) the cause of a major fight. He is threatening contempt charges and saying that he won't pick her up if she arrives at 7. At some point, doesn't commonsense kick in in matters of this type?

Isn't there a way to make up the 35minutes at the end of visitation by taking a later flight home to you?? It's 35 minutes and yes while your court order states that she shouldn't get there after 6:30, I don't think you'll look that bad in court if you attempt to make the adjustment on the other end! Or have her alternate flights, one time she takes the earlier and the next she takes the later. I'm sure you and dad could figure something out. If not, then court it is. BUT just think of who will look like the (*& if he leaves his child at the airport all alone, because he's too stubborn!! I don't think a judge will look too kindly on a father leaving thier child at the airport, only to be returned to you, when you are trying to work within the schedule that is in her best interest. Also, if you do have to go back to court, have the darn airport that is closest to you be written into the agreement as the airport that she is to leave and return to!

 

[nextwife]

Out of curiousity - who created the distance that makes visitation by plane necessary?

Also, is there only ONE airline whose schedule you can use? Are there no other options?

 

[BelizeBreeze]

Out of curiousity - who created the distance that makes visitation by plane necessary?

Also, is there only ONE airline whose schedule you can use? Are there no other options?

She said to make the scheduled time in the order she'd have to drive to another airport 1 hour away....oh well.

 

[CJane]

She said to make the scheduled time in the order she'd have to drive to another airport 1 hour away....oh well.

If she elected to send the child on the earlier flight instead of driving the hour... wouldn't she still risk contempt charges (even though Dad is requesting the earlier flight) since the order states that she cannot arrive earlier than 3pm?

 

[LdiJ]

If she elected to send the child on the earlier flight instead of driving the hour... wouldn't she still risk contempt charges (even though Dad is requesting the earlier flight) since the order states that she cannot arrive earlier than 3pm?

Yes, which is why she needs to take it back to court to modify the order to make sense based on the airline schedules.

Dad could be being a bit of a dufus here...

However, if she is an excellent student who isn't harmed by missing a day of school once a month (and the school cooperates with that, not all do)...and mom doesn't have to miss a day of work to do that (because many jobs won't accomodate that) then its possible that mom could be being a bit of a dufus as well.

However....in any case it needs to go back to court, because either flight violates the orders....because they were written very specifically.

 

[texgirl]

Thanks for responses. Someone raised the issue of her return times. There is the same window: 3--6:30. I always put her on the latest time possible, which gets her back at 6:15. I am not trying to "cheat" ex of his parenting time. No later flight is possible because as an unaccompanied minor, she can't fly on the last flight of the day. Airline choices are limited because the orders require that she fly only on nonstop flights.

I realize I can modify but that takes time and money. Again we are talking about 35 minutes here! And yes, she could miss school, but I find it ironic when he threw a major tantrum when I let my daughter stay home from school the day after her pet died and she had cried so hard the night before that she vomited.

Moreover, my daughter goes to an academically challenging private school (I pay the 16K tuition) and missing a day a month does matter! And to be honest, I don't like spending my limited vacation days working around his craziness.

I almost hope ex does file contempt charges, so that I can go in with airline schedules and let him explain why he is can't show even the smallest amount of flexibility.

 

[GrowUp!]

I almost hope ex does file contempt charges, so that I can go in with airline schedules and let him explain why he is can't show even the smallest amount of flexibility.

If he does, quite honestly, I can see his case not having many legs to stand on, as the airline schedule is out of your control, plus if you present any evidence that you tried to work it out. It's frowned upon when courts see that one parent isn't being flexible...especially over half-an-hour.

After reading some of the advice, someone mentioned about another airport...are there smaller airlines that regularly run out of any of the airports close to you? Usually those airlines' (i.e. USA3000, AirTran) schedules are a little more consistent (at least during the week)...and usually cheaper.

While modifying the order does take some time and money, it really needs to be done to perhaps add more flexibility. In case it hasn't been brought up before, you might want to bring the court's attention about the inability to fly unaccompanied on the last flight, plus other rules that might not have been brought to the court's attention before. I would also bring about a month or so of airline's schedules, so you can show the court as well. Of course, mentioning the private school costs too wouldn't hurt to bring to the court's attention as well.

 

[stealth2]

And having been in the exact same situation, I can tell you that he may well get his way in court.

 

[texgirl]

Thanks again for the responses. My ex and I have been to court many times. I realize now that one of his aims is to get these very detailed, very complex orders, which prove difficult to follow to the letter in real life, because after all stuff happens. He really feeds off conflict and has this intense desire to control me 8 years after the divorce. That is what really irks me--it is not that he is so upset about losing 35 minutes of parenting time. Several times my daughter has flown to visit him and he's been out of town on business. She hangs out with her stepsister (not a bad thing, since stepsis seems a nice girl and they have fun).

It is not as though he adheres to the letter of the order. He currently owes me more the $1200 in unpaid medical expenses. The order also includes a provision that he has to make sure all her belongings get sent home with her. Well, last week she came home to Chicago without her winter coat. A bit of a problem when wind chill is in the single digits.

 

[Ohiogal]

Thanks again for the responses. My ex and I have been to court many times. I realize now that one of his aims is to get these very detailed, very complex orders, which prove difficult to follow to the letter in real life, because after all stuff happens. He really feeds off conflict and has this intense desire to control me 8 years after the divorce. That is what really irks me--it is not that he is so upset about losing 35 minutes of parenting time. Several times my daughter has flown to visit him and he's been out of town on business. She hangs out with her stepsister (not a bad thing, since stepsis seems a nice girl and they have fun).

It is not as though he adheres to the letter of the order. He currently owes me more the $1200 in unpaid medical expenses. The order also includes a provision that he has to make sure all her belongings get sent home with her. Well, last week she came home to Chicago without her winter coat. A bit of a problem when wind chill is in the single digits.

Have you sent him the medical bills in a timely manner along with proof that you have paid your portion? And how old is your daughter? If she is old enough to fly then SHE is old enough to make sure she has her belongings SUCH AS HER COAT!

 

[JBMD]

If she is old enough to fly then SHE is old enough to make sure she has her belongings SUCH AS HER COAT!

I am going to have to disagree with you on this one. My son is 8 and had flown as an unaccompanied minor for a few years now. He'd leave everything behind if he weren't reminded! He wears glasses, and will forget to put them on in the morning if not reminded, so at 6am when he's catching his flight, it's very doubtful that he will remember! Also, if he had it his way he'd never wear a coat, let alone remember to take it somewhere!

It's dad's responsibility as a RESPONSIBLE parent that cares about the well being of his child to remember these things. If everything were left to kids to remember, we'd be ina whole different world!

 

[texgirl]

Well, the issue is a legal one, no? The order says he's responsible to make sure things get back. Certainly that can take the form of him as a parent reminding our daughter to double check that she's got everything.