Mom Wont Allow Visitation

[mommyof4]

Really, I'm not trying to do so. It seems as thought I can't even have an opinion on things. I'm not trying to cause trouble

Ding, ding, ding!!!! You're right. Your opinion is completely worthless, so just keep it to yourself.

How about this....

You actively TRY to NOT be involved.

 

[CJane]

Wow, you're doing it that much without even TRYING?

Heh.

I'm the first to jump up and down on the head of an overstepping stepmom. Y'all know this.

I DO think that this kid (and yes, OP is a kid) REALLY is trying to 'do right' within the scope of her new marriage.

I actually think she should stop it and run like hell, but she's trying to stick it out and make it work, and I suppose there's a little admiration mixed in with my pity.

BUT... OP? You DO need to just stop it. Tell your husband if he wants the child overnight, he's going to have to do the work to make it happen. To NEVER EVER expect anything more than is in the order, and he won't be disappointed.

And you? Don't expect a damn thing from mom. Or your husband. Then YOU can't be disappointed.

 

[stepmom4ever]

Yes, and you can't even seem to figure out that ANY further contact is clearly unwelcome and felt 'insulted' by her very rational (and much nicer response than I would have given you) response, hence...still pushing, now aren't you?

Look, if you want a baby to share with your husband, get pregnant, give birth and take on the financial, emotional, legal, and physical responsibility of a child. This is NOT your child. This will NEVER BE your child. You will NEVER have any say over this child. You will NEVER have any imput into the relationship between Mom, Dad, and Baby. Mom doesn't have to acknowlege that you are sharing the planet's oxygen with her child.

Understand?

I understand, I know MOM is MOM and I respect that fully. Thanks for the advice

 

[stepmom4ever]

how do my husband go back to modify the visitation order. the order is only 1 months old

 

[Zephyr]

how do my husband go back to modify the visitation order. the order is only 1 months old

does the parenting plan contain a graduated schedule to accomodate the child aging?

 

[StampGirl]

Thanks dont want to seem like overstepping my boundaries, I'll leave it alone. I just think the law sucks when it comes to dads. Leagally, this is his child slso, that's all

Lets see if THIS helps you understand... Reverse the situation.

YOU are the mom of the 2 month old. The father is married to a woman who is doing exactly what you are doing. How would you like it? Not so much I am afraid.

Would you want your 2 month old to travel all the way to FL to visit the step's family when the Step has been an butting in-overstepping-obnoxious woman? Prolly not.

So now..... how does your situation look??????

Here is some more perspective (from a personal view): I was 3 months pregnant when my Ex moved out. So yes our divorce was well underway when she was born. Did he get overnights? NO. Was I even breastfeeding? No. He received open visitation on any day but could not leave the city where I lived not to exceed 6hrs at a time. (btw he chose 2 sunday's a month for 3hrs at his brothers who lived down the street).

So now tell me AGAIN how you are NOT overstepping????????

 

[stepmom4ever]

does the parenting plan contain a graduated schedule to accomodate the child aging?

yes, my husband can get overnights when his son turns 3 years of age. That wat to long

 

[Zephyr]

yes, my husband can get overnights when his son turns 3 years of age. That wat to long

did he agree to that or is that what the judge ordered?


he might TRY for modification in a few months...depending on what's going on in the situation, but the court may decide not to hear it at all or they might hear it and decide not to grant the request

 

[stepmom4ever]

Lets see if THIS helps you understand... Reverse the situation.

YOU are the mom of the 2 month old. The father is married to a woman who is doing exactly what you are doing. How would you like it? Not so much I am afraid.

Would you want your 2 month old to travel all the way to FL to visit the step's family when the Step has been an butting in-overstepping-obnoxious woman? Prolly not.

So now..... how does your situation look??????

Here is some more perspective (from a personal view): I was 3 months pregnant when my Ex moved out. So yes our divorce was well underway when she was born. Did he get overnights? NO. Was I even breastfeeding? No. He received open visitation on any day but could not leave the city where I lived not to exceed 6hrs at a time. (btw he chose 2 sunday's a month for 3hrs at his brothers who lived down the street).

So now tell me AGAIN how you are NOT overstepping????????

Dont want to sound rude but thats your situation. I know my husband would love to spent as much time as he can with his child. Should it even matter who my husband is with on his time?

 

[StampGirl]

yes, my husband can get overnights when his son turns 3 years of age. That wat to long

Sounds and looks like Mom did her job. Nice. She locked him in to wait 3yrs for overnights. And how is it DAD didn't see this and object?

You see, he could have objected and I am almost certain it would have been changed. Shame on him for not paying attention to what he signed.

 

[StampGirl]

Dont want to sound rude but thats your situation. I know my husband would love to spent as much time as he can with his child. Should it even matter who my husband is with on his time?

I was trying to give you a little perspective is all. But YOU seem to know everything. Pay attention and you will see our situation is pretty similar.

Sure it matters. What matters is that he isn't going to get extra time when the child is only a few months old to see YOUR family. YOUR family doesnt COUNT.

 

[stepmom4ever]

did he agree to that or is that what the judge ordered?


he might TRY for modification in a few months...depending on what's going on in the situation, but the court may decide not to hear it at all or they might hear it and decide not to grant the request

he agreed at first because the mom was still mad at us and he didnt want to argue with her over the schedule. The judge told him that it has to be a significant circumstances in order to change the order...bummer

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

Really, I'm not trying to do so. It seems as thought I can't even have an opinion on things. I'm not trying to cause trouble

WHATEVER your opinion is, unless it's requested by the MOM, keep it to yourself. Simple.

yes, my husband can get overnights when his son turns 3 years of age. That wat to long

While I agree that waiting till 3 is a long time, if that's what is in the order he has 2 options:

1. Deal with it, because it is what it is, or
2. Petition for a modification to add overnights.

 

[StampGirl]

he agreed at first because the mom was still mad at us and he didnt want to argue with her over the schedule. The judge told him that it has to be a significant circumstances in order to change the order...bummer

Maybe he shouldn't have agreed so quickly. Of course Mom wouldn't have been so upset with you both if YOU hadn't overstepped your bounds or interfered now would she?

Classic example of how Dad lost time with his child because Step-Mom was overstepping and out of line. Face it honey, your Husband lost time with HIS child because YOU messed up.

Move on and plan on not having that child overnight till he is 3yrs old.

 

[Zephyr]

he agreed at first because the mom was still mad at us and he didnt want to argue with her over the schedule. The judge told him that it has to be a significant circumstances in order to change the order...bummer

that was the "depending on the situation" part...


one way would be for you to step way way back and have dad make a really good effort at co-parenting with mom and treating mom with respect, and not even mentioning your name to her, and then.....she might come around to being cooperative with dad....she might allow the overnights on her own or agree to modify the order.....but this will take a lot of work on dad's part and a lot of tongue biting on yours......