Custody

[Just Blue]

I have called a few diff attys and they tell me I would be stupid to take him to court and get visitation court ordered. I was trying to do the right thing.

OK, so you are stating that if the Daycare (which is actually the extanded day at school) does not release my son to his daddy they are breaking the law? SO, if they was to release him without my consent and the daddy does not return him to me, I guess, I take him to court at that point to get my son back right? I am just asking....

The NCP has tried to not return him from a weekend visit last year, I got assulted by the stepmother's brother for trying to get my son back, I left and went to the police dept, they called him and told the NCP that it would be in his best interest to return the child. I am afraid that it wil not be that easy the next time.

You need to understand that the father has as many rights to his child as you do. To prevent these games you need a court order. It is in EVERYONES best interest to do so. Please remember, unless there is a restraining order that prohibits Dad from picking up the child/ren from school, daycare, sitter, or any other THIRD party, he can get his children. Period. If my child were at Daycare and I wanted to get him to go to a movie or something and the DC refused..I would sue them. How dare a DC try and prevent me, the PARENT!, from picking up my child!


He has rights just as you do. Get a court order so that you are both aware of your rights and limitations...An order gives you recourse if there is issues.

 

[wnbama]

Thank you all for your in put, I am currently trying to obtain a atty that will take my case, if I could just find one that would......

I do undestand what you mean, yes he does have rights and I have ALLOWED him to have them up till this point. He just have never really wanted anything to do with his child till I took him back to court and he got put in jail for non-payment, then he started the harassing me, calling cusssing, screwing yelling, I never stop him from seeing his son even at that point. BUT the verbal abuse HAS GOT TO STOP, my son does not need to see this or be around it.

Again, Thank you.

 

[Just Blue]

Thank you all for your in put, I am currently trying to obtain a atty that will take my case, if I could just find one that would......

I do undestand what you mean, yes he does have rights and I have ALLOWED him to have them up till this point. He just have never really wanted anything to do with his child till I took him back to court and he got put in jail for non-payment, then he started the harassing me, calling cusssing, screwing yelling, I never stop him from seeing his son even at that point. BUT the verbal abuse HAS GOT TO STOP, my son does not need to see this or be around it.

Again, Thank you.

Again...All the more reason for a court order. All of these issues can be addressed in the parenting plan.

 

[wnbama]

Does ALABAMA have parenting plan? What all is covered in a "parenting plan" or is that the same as visitation?

Alabama doesn't even have a standard visitation guidelines, now there are Judges that have their standard, but it's not the law.

 

[TheGeekess]

WHY is this a sad thing? He is the father...why is it a problem for him to have HIS childs records?

Because that's how I felt at that moment. Nothing more, nothing less.

 

[TheGeekess]

Does ALABAMA have parenting plan? What all is covered in a "parenting plan" or is that the same as visitation?

Alabama doesn't even have a standard visitation guidelines, now there are Judges that have their standard, but it's not the law.

"Standard Visitation

Some parents forget that their children are not pieces of furniture that can be moved in and out of a house without concern. The court strives to stabilize the children, sometimes at the expense of the parents’ comfort, setting up a standard visitation schedule. Many custodial parents have problems allowing the other parent to have even minimum visitation with the children.

The court wants to foster the relationship of the children with the non-custodial parent. Unless you can prove that seeing this parent will harm the children, usually the judge will not restrict or limit the non-custodial parent’s visitation beyond the standard visitation schedule. Generally, the court provides three separate visitation schedules, depending on the age of the children. The courts have determined that visitation should vary for children under 12 months of age, from one year to three years and over three years of age. The following is a typical standard visitation schedule followed by most courts:

Standard Visitation Schedule

a. Schedule. The wife shall be the primary custodian and shall maintain the primary residence for the children, and the husband shall be the secondary custodian and shall maintain the secondary residence for the children. The secondary custodian’s custodial periods shall be as follows:

1. The first and third weekends of each month from 6 p.m. on Friday until 6 p.m. the following Sunday. The first weekend shall begin on the first Friday of each month at 6 p.m.;
2. Each Christmas Day from 3 p.m. until 3 p.m. on the following New Year’s Day;
3. Thirty-one days during the summer (to be taken between June 10 and August 15) to be selected by the non-custodial parent, but upon written notice to the custodial parent at least 30 days in advance of such visitation.
4. During the odd years, spring break vacation from 9 a.m. Saturday until the following Friday at 6 p.m.;
5. During the even years, Thanksgiving vacation from Wednesday at 6 p.m. until Sunday 6 p.m.;
6. Every other birthday of the child from 6 p.m. on said date until 8 a.m. the following morning;
7. Every Father/Mother’s Day from 9 a.m. until 6 p.m. of the same day;
8. On the birthday of the mother/father from 3 p.m. on said date until 8 p.m. of the same day;
9. Any other reasonable times and places upon which the parties can agree; and
10. Each party shall keep the other informed on a current basis as to the primary residence, address and telephone number where the children reside or visit."
http://www.woodfamilylaw.com/PracticeAreas/Child-Custody-Visitation.asp*

*Website of a law firm in central Bama that I found via googling-- I have no relationship with said law firm

Code of Alabama
http://alisondb.legislature.state.al.us/acas/ACASLoginFire.asp

 

[Silverplum]

I do NOT enjoy the inherent sexism in the wording of that schedule.

Not that it wasn't nice of TheGeekess to go find it for OP.

"Standard Visitation

Some parents forget that their children are not pieces of furniture that can be moved in and out of a house without concern. The court strives to stabilize the children, sometimes at the expense of the parents’ comfort, setting up a standard visitation schedule. Many custodial parents have problems allowing the other parent to have even minimum visitation with the children.

The court wants to foster the relationship of the children with the non-custodial parent. Unless you can prove that seeing this parent will harm the children, usually the judge will not restrict or limit the non-custodial parent’s visitation beyond the standard visitation schedule. Generally, the court provides three separate visitation schedules, depending on the age of the children. The courts have determined that visitation should vary for children under 12 months of age, from one year to three years and over three years of age. The following is a typical standard visitation schedule followed by most courts:

Standard Visitation Schedule

a. Schedule. The wife shall be the primary custodian and shall maintain the primary residence for the children, and the husband shall be the secondary custodian and shall maintain the secondary residence for the children. The secondary custodian’s custodial periods shall be as follows:

1. The first and third weekends of each month from 6 p.m. on Friday until 6 p.m. the following Sunday. The first weekend shall begin on the first Friday of each month at 6 p.m.;
2. Each Christmas Day from 3 p.m. until 3 p.m. on the following New Year’s Day;
3. Thirty-one days during the summer (to be taken between June 10 and August 15) to be selected by the non-custodial parent, but upon written notice to the custodial parent at least 30 days in advance of such visitation.
4. During the odd years, spring break vacation from 9 a.m. Saturday until the following Friday at 6 p.m.;
5. During the even years, Thanksgiving vacation from Wednesday at 6 p.m. until Sunday 6 p.m.;
6. Every other birthday of the child from 6 p.m. on said date until 8 a.m. the following morning;
7. Every Father/Mother’s Day from 9 a.m. until 6 p.m. of the same day;
8. On the birthday of the mother/father from 3 p.m. on said date until 8 p.m. of the same day;
9. Any other reasonable times and places upon which the parties can agree; and
10. Each party shall keep the other informed on a current basis as to the primary residence, address and telephone number where the children reside or visit."
http://www.woodfamilylaw.com/PracticeAreas/Child-Custody-Visitation.asp*

*Website of a law firm in central Bama that I found via googling-- I have no relationship with said law firm

Code of Alabama
http://alisondb.legislature.state.al.us/acas/ACASLoginFire.asp

 

[mommyof4]

"Standard Visitation

Some parents forget that their children are not pieces of furniture that can be moved in and out of a house without concern. The court strives to stabilize the children, sometimes at the expense of the parents’ comfort, setting up a standard visitation schedule. Many custodial parents have problems allowing the other parent to have even minimum visitation with the children.

The court wants to foster the relationship of the children with the non-custodial parent. Unless you can prove that seeing this parent will harm the children, usually the judge will not restrict or limit the non-custodial parent’s visitation beyond the standard visitation schedule. Generally, the court provides three separate visitation schedules, depending on the age of the children. The courts have determined that visitation should vary for children under 12 months of age, from one year to three years and over three years of age. The following is a typical standard visitation schedule followed by most courts:

Standard Visitation Schedule

a. Schedule. The wife shall be the primary custodian and shall maintain the primary residence for the children, and the husband shall be the secondary custodian and shall maintain the secondary residence for the children. The secondary custodian’s custodial periods shall be as follows:

1. The first and third weekends of each month from 6 p.m. on Friday until 6 p.m. the following Sunday. The first weekend shall begin on the first Friday of each month at 6 p.m.;
2. Each Christmas Day from 3 p.m. until 3 p.m. on the following New Year’s Day;
3. Thirty-one days during the summer (to be taken between June 10 and August 15) to be selected by the non-custodial parent, but upon written notice to the custodial parent at least 30 days in advance of such visitation.
4. During the odd years, spring break vacation from 9 a.m. Saturday until the following Friday at 6 p.m.;
5. During the even years, Thanksgiving vacation from Wednesday at 6 p.m. until Sunday 6 p.m.;
6. Every other birthday of the child from 6 p.m. on said date until 8 a.m. the following morning;
7. Every Father/Mother’s Day from 9 a.m. until 6 p.m. of the same day;
8. On the birthday of the mother/father from 3 p.m. on said date until 8 p.m. of the same day;
9. Any other reasonable times and places upon which the parties can agree; and
10. Each party shall keep the other informed on a current basis as to the primary residence, address and telephone number where the children reside or visit."
http://www.woodfamilylaw.com/PracticeAreas/Child-Custody-Visitation.asp*

*Website of a law firm in central Bama that I found via googling-- I have no relationship with said law firm

Code of Alabama
http://alisondb.legislature.state.al.us/acas/ACASLoginFire.asp

And here I was thinking how enlightened Alabama was that parent/child relationship was not hampered by marital status.

WTH???

Since WHEN can DADS not be just as good (and, let's all just admit it now) sometimes BETTER primary custodial parents of their children???

What happened to the BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILD????

Geez...when my sister divorced and was going through custody, even after everything I had gone through to protect my daugher, I was the first (and to this day, the only one in my family) to recommend that she just stop fighting and agree that her son would do better to live primarily with his father...and I don't even LIKE her ex. Thankfully, she listened to my arguments and her son is an amazing little guy who is happy and healthy. Her ex is one of the biggest jerks on the face of the earth and the way he treated my sister still makes my see red. That said...he's a GREAT father.

 

[TheGeekess]

Blame the wording on the firm that had that posted on their website. I've known many fathers who got primary custody of their minor children in the state of Bama. But I'll make a document and change it for the next time I need to post it.

 

[Silverplum]

Blame the wording on the firm that had that posted on their website. I've known many fathers who got primary custody of their minor children in the state of Bama. But I'll make a document and change it for the next time I need to post it.

Nobody's blaming you for that parenting plan sample.

The frownie face for Dad having equal rights, on the other hand...not as thrilling. But everyone has their opinions.

 

[wnbama]

"Standard Visitation

Some parents forget that their children are not pieces of furniture that can be moved in and out of a house without concern. The court strives to stabilize the children, sometimes at the expense of the parents’ comfort, setting up a standard visitation schedule. Many custodial parents have problems allowing the other parent to have even minimum visitation with the children.

The court wants to foster the relationship of the children with the non-custodial parent. Unless you can prove that seeing this parent will harm the children, usually the judge will not restrict or limit the non-custodial parent’s visitation beyond the standard visitation schedule. Generally, the court provides three separate visitation schedules, depending on the age of the children. The courts have determined that visitation should vary for children under 12 months of age, from one year to three years and over three years of age. The following is a typical standard visitation schedule followed by most courts:

Standard Visitation Schedule

a. Schedule. The wife shall be the primary custodian and shall maintain the primary residence for the children, and the husband shall be the secondary custodian and shall maintain the secondary residence for the children. The secondary custodian’s custodial periods shall be as follows:

1. The first and third weekends of each month from 6 p.m. on Friday until 6 p.m. the following Sunday. The first weekend shall begin on the first Friday of each month at 6 p.m.;
2. Each Christmas Day from 3 p.m. until 3 p.m. on the following New Year’s Day;
3. Thirty-one days during the summer (to be taken between June 10 and August 15) to be selected by the non-custodial parent, but upon written notice to the custodial parent at least 30 days in advance of such visitation.
4. During the odd years, spring break vacation from 9 a.m. Saturday until the following Friday at 6 p.m.;
5. During the even years, Thanksgiving vacation from Wednesday at 6 p.m. until Sunday 6 p.m.;
6. Every other birthday of the child from 6 p.m. on said date until 8 a.m. the following morning;
7. Every Father/Mother’s Day from 9 a.m. until 6 p.m. of the same day;
8. On the birthday of the mother/father from 3 p.m. on said date until 8 p.m. of the same day;
9. Any other reasonable times and places upon which the parties can agree; and
10. Each party shall keep the other informed on a current basis as to the primary residence, address and telephone number where the children reside or visit."
http://www.woodfamilylaw.com/PracticeAreas/Child-Custody-Visitation.asp*

*Website of a law firm in central Bama that I found via googling-- I have no relationship with said law firm

Code of Alabama
http://alisondb.legislature.state.al.us/acas/ACASLoginFire.asp

This is what I used 6 yrs ago for us to agree on for visitation on paper. I now need it more detailed. The NCP is not a cooprative person to work with, I have to have everything in writing and it has to be certified mailed or he states he never got it, if it's agreed on the phone then I type it up and cert. mail it the next day. He will then, say he never said he agreed to it. It's his way or no way.

BUT, Alabama does not have this as a LAW it's just what the Judges use, it's not set in stone, so-to-speak, right? correct me if I'm wrong.

How do I convince a lawyer to take my case and get visitation court ordered?

 

[Silverplum]

How do I convince a lawyer to take my case and get visitation court ordered?

You don't need to convince an attorney. You hire an attorney.

 

[Just Blue]

This is what I used 6 yrs ago for us to agree on for visitation on paper. I now need it more detailed. The NCP is not a cooprative person to work with, I have to have everything in writing and it has to be certified mailed or he states he never got it, if it's agreed on the phone then I type it up and cert. mail it the next day. He will then, say he never said he agreed to it. It's his way or no way.

BUT, Alabama does not have this as a LAW it's just what the Judges use, it's not set in stone, so-to-speak, right? correct me if I'm wrong.

How do I convince a lawyer to take my case and get visitation court ordered?

guidelines, case law...

 

[Just Blue]

You don't need to convince an attorney. You hire an attorney.

A 2K retainer should convince 'em!!

 

[wnbama]

A 2K retainer should convince 'em!!

And that is what I have.....they still tell me I am stupid for wanting to get this court ordered, I guess since they are not in the problem, they don't understand...who knows!

I have called 5 lawyers, and they all have told me the samething, that they wuld not take a case where the parents were unmarried and had a child, and the mother wants to set-up visitation, they said the Judge would look at me like I was crazy. I would think a Judge would say, hey this women is being nice and giving him the visitation and he doesn't have to pay for it.

With that being said, on my next call to an atty, how would you say it if you was me? Maybe, I am approaching this incorrectly.