• FreeAdvice has a new Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, effective May 25, 2018.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our Terms of Service and use of cookies.

It's Shay

Accident - Bankruptcy - Criminal Law / DUI - Business - Consumer - Employment - Family - Immigration - Real Estate - Tax - Traffic - Wills   Please click a topic or scroll down for more.

Status
Not open for further replies.

Shay-Pari'e

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Cali

Have not been around. So Shay's life has fallen apart. My husband left us for another woman. I didn't get out of bed for a month. So how did you all get through this? Trying to modify the house and have done well, but hubby missed mortgage payment. 1st one ever.He just turned 40 and left with nothing but the clothes on his back, his bike, and his truck.

I cry myself to sleep every night. When does it end guys? My poor kids. How did you guy's survive?

Love you all. (Even those under different names).
 


Proserpina

Senior Member
Shay, you don't know me from Eve, but I've read so many of your posts - even going back years - and I've learned a lot from you.

I'm sorry you're going through this. :(
 

CJane

Senior Member
You survive because you have to. And frankly? You do a whole lot of faking it until one day... sometimes a LONG TIME after... you realize you're not faking it anymore and you really ARE ok.

I'm so very sorry. PM me if you need to, ok?
 

CourtClerk

Senior Member
You survive because you have to. And frankly? You do a whole lot of faking it until one day... sometimes a LONG TIME after... you realize you're not faking it anymore and you really ARE ok.
How true this is.... how very, very true.
 

Antigone*

Senior Member
I do wish I could lie to you and tell you that you will stop crying very soon, but I'd be lying to you.

I fought very hard to leave him behind but struggled through each day for a long time. Then I stopped focusing on me and focused on my daughter. I did things with her and for her. She became the center of it all. Once she became my focus and my center, he no longer had a place. The tears stopped and the anger subsided.

One day Nina, she was three at the time said "mommy you're the best.". She reminded me of something I forgot - I am the best. That was the beginning of me taking care of me.

It won't happen overnight Shay, but do not give up on yourself. Allow yourself time to grieve and time to be pissed off, but don't waste too much time doing that. Soon enough you will realize in a moment of clairty that it was pretty much wasted time.

Love her (you) like Jesus - Casting Crowns
 

Isis1

Senior Member
You survive because you have to. And frankly? You do a whole lot of faking it until one day... sometimes a LONG TIME after... you realize you're not faking it anymore and you really ARE ok.

I'm so very sorry. PM me if you need to, ok?

i'm going to "third" this. if you can get through this, you can get through anything. i am SO SORRY to hear this. take it one day at a time. if you need more time, take it. cry. cry by yourself, cry with a friend. cry with a therapist. my therapy was long walks.

i hope and wish you well.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
Sorry to read this. But yeah - you fake it 'til you make it. Be the best Mom you can be and love your kids more than you hate your stbx :D.
 

Shay-Pari'e

Senior Member
I've been faking it. I just never saw it coming. He took nothing. Just left after superbowl. Co-worker at work. living with her. Baby girl is 16 at least he bought her her car. He's living with a woman my age. Big boss man, good looking. just turned 40. Mid life crises? why do I want him back? Is that normal? Sent Baby girl to Boise to be with family for easter to get away from the stress.

Second slide on left. My God, what he walked away from. He's just so different. Puts me down every chance he gets. Not the same with the guys at work. If I could pick up and leave for Boise I would but baby girl has a boyfriend and needs to finish school.

www.myspace.com/polejox

I never saw it coming.
 
Last edited:

justalayman

Senior Member
truly sorry to hear this. On top of what happened previously, I cannot even begin to consider what to say to make any sort of difference.

Now is when friends and family show their true colors and those that are true will be there with a shoulder for you to lean on , and when necessary, to cry on.


When does it end guys?
When you realize you are a person without him and decide to move on and enjoy your life, even though he is no longer going to be there. You were a person before him. You are a person without him. You can enjoy life without him.

Keep your chin up. It does get easier with the passage of time.
 

>Charlotte<

Lurker
You survive because you have to. And frankly? You do a whole lot of faking it until one day... sometimes a LONG TIME after... you realize you're not faking it anymore and you really ARE ok.

I don't think I've ever seen a wiser answer to that particular question. It's true, Shay. It really is.

I think one of the hardest parts is having to deal with the business of getting divorced. Lots of decisions to be made, and all you want to do is scream "Stop!" at the world until you can breathe and are ready to move on to the next step. I know you're on an emotional rollercoaster, but don't ever make an important decision while you're experiencing an extreme emotion.

You can get through this. I wish I could say you can get through it without any pain. But CJane is so right. One day you'll realize it's getting better instead of worse.
 

ezmarelda

Member
this always helps me....turn it up loud and sing along

Must be getting early, clocks are running late.
Paint my love a morning sky, its all cold.
Dawn is breaking everywhere, light a candle, curse the glare
Draw the curtains I dont care, but its all right
I will get by, I will get by, I will get by, I will survive.

I see youve got your list out, say your piece and kiss off.
Guess I get the gist of it, but its all right
Oh well anyway, sorry that you feel that way.
Every silver linings got a touch of grey
I will get by, I will get by, I will get by, I will survive.

Its a lesson to me, the ablers and the beggars and the thieves
The abcs we all think of, try to win a little love.

I know the rent is in arrears, the dog has not been fed in years
Its even worse than it appears, but its all right

Cow is giving kerosene, kid cant read at seventeen
The words he knows are all obscene, but its all right
I will get by, I will get by, I will get by, I will survive.

Shoe is on the hand that fits, thats all there really is to it
Whistle through your teeth and spit, but its all right

Oh well a touch of grey, kinda suits you anyway,
Thats all I had to say, but its all right
I will get by, I will get by, I will get by, I will survive.

Its a lesson to me, the devils and the east and the free
The abcs we all must face, try to save a little grace.​

A Touch of Gray Video by Robert - MySpace Video
 

SHORTY LONG

Senior Member
Hey Babygirl, I am without words at this time other than to say your
missed here. Will write more in PM after I get a good night sleep,
and I will definitely ask our Heavenly Father to send His good Angels
to be with you. Talk to you soon.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Cali

Have not been around. So Shay's life has fallen apart. My husband left us for another woman. I didn't get out of bed for a month. So how did you all get through this? Trying to modify the house and have done well, but hubby missed mortgage payment. 1st one ever.He just turned 40 and left with nothing but the clothes on his back, his bike, and his truck.

I cry myself to sleep every night. When does it end guys? My poor kids. How did you guy's survive?

Love you all. (Even those under different names).

Oh hon I am so sorry. Check your PMs. Take it ONE step at a time. Remember that YOU need to take care of YOU.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
I've been faking it. I just never saw it coming. He took nothing. Just left after superbowl. Co-worker at work. living with her. Baby girl is 16 at least he bought her her car. He's living with a woman my age. Big boss man, good looking. just turned 40. Mid life crises? why do I want him back? Is that normal? Sent Baby girl to Boise to be with family for easter to get away from the stress.

Second slide on left. My God, what he walked away from. He's just so different. Puts me down every chance he gets. Not the same with the guys at work. If I could pick up and leave for Boise I would but baby girl has a boyfriend and needs to finish school.

MySpace.com - Caligirl Cheri - 44 - Female - Bay Area, California - www.myspace.com/polejox

I never saw it coming.

You want him back because you LOVE HIM. Or you were used to him and it is what you know. It is normal to want him back. They say during a marriage breaking you go through all the steps of grieving but a marriage breaking is often times worse than a death as you are still forced to see and deal with the person who hurt you.
CJane is right. You go through the motions until one day you are no longer going through the motions.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Find the Right Lawyer for Your Legal Issue!

Fast, Free, and Confidential
Top