wisconsin..: I had been going to my dr for about two years. It didn’t take long before things started happening. I always made sure never to go alone because I thought it would keep him from touching me. In which case it did not. It started with hugging me, then went to kissing me on my forehead, then to my right cheek, then to by the corner of my mouth. He would caress the outer of my things as well as went as far as pinching me on the inner upper left thigh and leaving a bruise. He would also talk to me with his forehead on mine as he would have his hands on my thighs. I thought in the beginning well maybe it was a part of his culture because my mother-in-law said that may be it until it got worse. I then brought it to my primary dr's attention on several occasion in hopes he would help me find a new dr. He never did make it seem like a big deal and stated it would be hard to get another dr to quote tamper where another dr has already been. Then when he did my final surgery may 14 2009, I had woke up and noticed it had felt like I had been cauterized. My fiancé and I decided to ask at the follow up appt. if that was the case. It was not. That was the last draw. I then went back to my primary dr and brought this to his attention again and refused to see him again. At that time he did help me find a new surgeon. I thought maybe I was over reacting because if my primary dr didn’t seem like it was a big deal then I figured maybe I was just being silly. But I know that I was scared, uncomfortable and unsure of any dr after this point. I did speak to another attorney today in fact and they made me feel as if it were my fault. Am I over reacting? Is this normal behavior? Could this be my fault? Please help... Thanks
-
FreeAdvice has a new Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, effective May 25, 2018.
By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our Terms of Service and use of cookies.
Is this my fault?
- Thread starter Stacia79
- Start date
Accident - Bankruptcy - Criminal Law / DUI - Business - Consumer - Employment - Family - Immigration - Real Estate - Tax - Traffic - Wills Please click a topic or scroll down for more.
**A: you are going to have to make a decision.
VeronicaLodge
Senior Member
why in the world did you keep going to this doctor after the first inappropriate thing? between the hug and the kiss i would have been gone
If you read my story I had to go to him. I could'nt walk, as well as the surgery I needed and had done on my arm. I had to go somewhere and in the meantime was lookin for a new dr. My surgeries could not wait. I live in a small town so my travels to a new dr would be further than the hour I already had to drive. As far as making a decision, again it seems it is my fault by the replies I have gotten so it doesnt make it easy to come out with the story. Again it is embarassing enough..
What do you mean a therapist? I didnt know I needed such a thing....I just came to see if I was overreacting. I didnt know that was going to make people upset. But no advice needed. I can see by the post my question was ansewered. I just hope noone else has to go through this...
Shadowbunny
Queen of the Not-Rights
Stacia, why are you so angry with ecmst's suggestion? Based on what you posted, talking to someone about this makes perfect sense.
I'm not angry. I just feel by what he has been saying and from reading some other post he has posted such as calling someone out of their name "creepy" he is basically meaning it may be my fault. Trust me it was not enjoyable. I hate that I even brought it up now. Truely I do. I am not an angry person but more diasappointed and regretful that professionals you are supose to trust are such sick pigs!
You are NOT overreacting, you are UNDER reacting. You were violated and you don't know how to deal with it. A therapist is the best-equipped person to help you sort through your feelings and decide whether you should seek criminal charges against the person who violated you. The fact that the possibility of this being your fault even entered your mind at ALL means that you are profoundly confused and damaged by what happened. You need help, WAY more help then any internet forum could ever hope to provide you with. Ok?
What this has to do with me calling BS on a guy who wants to claim he was fired for being male, when in fact he was fired for making his co-workers uncomfortable, I have no idea.
I am also not a "he".
What this has to do with me calling BS on a guy who wants to claim he was fired for being male, when in fact he was fired for making his co-workers uncomfortable, I have no idea.
I am also not a "he".
I am really actually relieved to hear that. I dont mean to be rude but it just seems like I get the same question, why did you stay? I honestly tried on many occassions and I thought if I talked to my primary care dr about it he would help. It was seriously like pulling teeth. I guess thats why I felt like people were in a way by saying that I liked it or something. I did not. I also talked to a lawyer in Milwaukee who is a well known lawyer and the legal assistant by all means acted as if it were either my fault or not a big deal . I wish there was a way to replay the convo. Thats why I figured I could get some advice here. I apologize. As far as the guy who claimed he got fired I still agreed very much that the story was fishey. But I wasnt there so what I cant see for myself I cant judge but yes it does sound a little off. Thank you very much for taking the time to explain, I really feel much better knowing that someone doesnt think it's my fault.. Again I apologize. I just am way freaked out by the whole situation...
i personally think you are questioned in such a way, the lawyers wanted to get the full side of the story by being on the offense. the devil's advocate so to speak.
i agree. you are immensly underreacting.
Note that *I* did not ask you why you kept going to that doctor.
Look up "stockholm syndrome".
And the reason I said Therapist not Lawyer is a (competent) therapist would NEVER make you feel like it was your fault you were assaulted. It's a therapists job to help you through things like this and recover the best you can. It is NOT a lawyer's job to do that - the lawyer is primarily concerned with whether you'd have a case to sue, which you very well may not, but that is not a conversation you should even be having right now. You need to fix your head and heart first, THEN you can think about next steps. And a therapist can help you with that too.
Look up "stockholm syndrome".
And the reason I said Therapist not Lawyer is a (competent) therapist would NEVER make you feel like it was your fault you were assaulted. It's a therapists job to help you through things like this and recover the best you can. It is NOT a lawyer's job to do that - the lawyer is primarily concerned with whether you'd have a case to sue, which you very well may not, but that is not a conversation you should even be having right now. You need to fix your head and heart first, THEN you can think about next steps. And a therapist can help you with that too.
If I may ask, why would you think I may not have a case? I do have four visual witnesses to these events. If I am not able to do something about this as far as a case then he will think he can get away with it wouldnt he? I mean I am lost for words that he would even do these things in front of the other people who went to the appts. with me..I cant be the only one...