He broke the order, can I suspend visitation?

[mistoffolees]

On what legal basis do you make this statement ?

On the basis that it's an arbitrary and capricious infringement on Dad's rights that has not been shown to have any impact on the child's safety.

If there was real evidence that Dad's drinking endangered the children, the clause might be enforceable. But simply putting it in because Mom is paranoid about alcohol isn't going to fly.

Not to mention, of course, that there's no evidence that Dad has been violating the order - so Mom could end up paying his legal expenses, as well.

 

[acmb05]

On the basis that it's an arbitrary and capricious infringement on Dad's rights that has not been shown to have any impact on the child's safety.

If there was real evidence that Dad's drinking endangered the children, the clause might be enforceable. But simply putting it in because Mom is paranoid about alcohol isn't going to fly.

Not to mention, of course, that there's no evidence that Dad has been violating the order - so Mom could end up paying his legal expenses, as well.

I would tend to agree with you. If the father does not have a history of alcohol related charges I could see this getting taken out if he fought it.

 

[acmb05]

Um, because it's in the order? Which means a judge thought it was enough of a concern that it was seen to be in the best interests of the child that Dad not consume alcohol immediately prior to, or during, visits.

Actually it is in the order that neither parent can do this. So according to your theory mom has a drinking problem also. More than likely mom wanted it added in and at the time dad did not fight it so it was added.

 

[MarkAM]

Yes, that is everyone's reaction whenever I mention that... He's not the brightest crayon...

While we were together we shared an email account. I still get some random emails to it, and so I will infrequently check it. There recently was an email/text message to his girlfriend's phone asking her to pick up beer, and she replied that she would. This was on a night that our daughter was staying there.

Let me say, first, that I abhor addictive (drugs, alcohol, etc) parents behavior and how it leads to abuse...having said that, what I read is that you hacked into his e-mail account and copied private e-mails and want to present one of them to the Court. How's that again? You did something illegal (you say "shared an email account" and he will say that it is his email account) and want to use that as evidence. He has an expectation of privacy that you violated. Your intentions were good, but the Court also looks at the legality (or morality) of your actions, also. For your child's sake, find some other "evidence" of the drinking and don't use the e-mail to try and prove his drinking. Make sure that you have clean hands in all of this.

 

[stekkinekko]

Thank you to those of you who have actually wanted to help me and to give me advice. To those of you who are making assumptions that contradict all the background information I have given- why would I lie on an anonymous, free forum? To make myself look good in front of you all? If I had a drinking problem, then why would I have not included that? If he didn't have a drinking problem, why would I claim he did? I already said that it's unfortunate for me that it isn't documented.

I'd rather not receive responses from people who don't have any intention of helping me. If you want to brag about how much you can drink, go ahead and do it elsewhere. If you have no advice for me, and would rather try to create drama by attacking me and my character- just don't. I clearly have enough drama in my life right now without you adding to it.

If you have questions for me that relate to this case, or if you have any further advice, please post a response.

Thank you.

 

[stekkinekko]

Let me say, first, that I abhor addictive (drugs, alcohol, etc) parents behavior and how it leads to abuse...having said that, what I read is that you hacked into his e-mail account and copied private e-mails and want to present one of them to the Court. How's that again? You did something illegal (you say "shared an email account" and he will say that it is his email account) and want to use that as evidence. He has an expectation of privacy that you violated. Your intentions were good, but the Court also looks at the legality (or morality) of your actions, also. For your child's sake, find some other "evidence" of the drinking and don't use the e-mail to try and prove his drinking. Make sure that you have clean hands in all of this.

Yes, that is something I have been on the fence about. He said/She said. I am very hesitant to do anything that might backfire. It would be very easy for him to convince the court that I have disregarded his privacy by reading that email- In a sense I guess I did, though I did it with my daughter's safety in mind. It's always interesting what the court sees as acceptable behavior when children are involved. It usually seems to me that the courts are more interested in protecting the rights of the parents, then protecting the safety of their children.

I had hoped that I wouldn't have to use the screen shot anyway- simply use the text messages to prove he broke the order. Thank you for warning me.

 

[mistoffolees]

Thank you to those of you who have actually wanted to help me and to give me advice. To those of you who are making assumptions that contradict all the background information I have given- why would I lie on an anonymous, free forum? To make myself look good in front of you all? If I had a drinking problem, then why would I have not included that? If he didn't have a drinking problem, why would I claim he did? I already said that it's unfortunate for me that it isn't documented.

I'd rather not receive responses from people who don't have any intention of helping me. If you want to brag about how much you can drink, go ahead and do it elsewhere. If you have no advice for me, and would rather try to create drama by attacking me and my character- just don't. I clearly have enough drama in my life right now without you adding to it.

If you have questions for me that relate to this case, or if you have any further advice, please post a response.

Thank you.

Sorry, but you asked for advice and you got it.

If you want people to limit their advice to what you want to hear, go somewhere else.

The fact is that you have no evidence that he has violated the court order - nor is there anything that suggests that the court order wouldn't be thrown out on request, anyway.

 

[BL]

Actually it is in the order that neither parent can do this. So according to your theory mom has a drinking problem also. More than likely mom wanted it added in and at the time dad did not fight it so it was added.

Where?

I am the custodial parent. Because of his history of alcohol abuse, there is a section in our court order stating that he is not allowed to consume alcohol during, or 24 hours prior to a visit.

There must be evidence of alcohol abuse history,or no objections ( which means it must be true ) otherwise a Judge would not order this clause in the orders .

Yes it may be true that it was brought up and Dad did not object ,or it could be evidence of the abuse was presented to the court .We don't know .

If evidence was presented it potentially could endanger the child .
Bluntly stating it's not enforceable is not good advice .

Stating there must be evidence of a violation of that order is sound advice.

 

[Ohiogal]

Yes, that is something I have been on the fence about. He said/She said. I am very hesitant to do anything that might backfire. It would be very easy for him to convince the court that I have disregarded his privacy by reading that email- In a sense I guess I did, though I did it with my daughter's safety in mind. It's always interesting what the court sees as acceptable behavior when children are involved. It usually seems to me that the courts are more interested in protecting the rights of the parents, then protecting the safety of their children.

I had hoped that I wouldn't have to use the screen shot anyway- simply use the text messages to prove he broke the order. Thank you for warning me.

If they shared an email account then there is no proof that SHE did NOT send the email requesting beer.

 

[acmb05]

Where?

OP stated it herself in another post.

Because the court order we currently have states that neither party is to consume alcohol during, or 24 hours prior to a visit.

 

[acmb05]

There must be evidence of alcohol abuse history,or no objections ( which means it must be true ) otherwise a Judge would not order this clause in the orders .

Yes it may be true that it was brought up and Dad did not object ,or it could be evidence of the abuse was presented to the court .We don't know .

If evidence was presented it potentially could endanger the child .
Bluntly stating it's not enforceable is not good advice .

Stating there must be evidence of a violation of that order is sound advice.

There does not have to be evidence if they both agreed to the clause at the time. OP even states there is no legal evidence of drinking problem.

That is why I say that it was added because OP probably asked for it and dad did not object and it applies to both parties NOT just the dad.

 

[BL]

There does not have to be evidence if they both agreed to the clause at the time. OP even states there is no legal evidence of drinking problem.

That is why I say that it was added because OP probably asked for it and dad did not object and it applies to both parties NOT just the dad.

I see it all now after re-reading .

Nothing like kicking a bush to see what jumps out.