Can I terminate my daughter's bio father's rights? I'm in Oregon.

[aleasha8502]

My daughter's bio dad signed a paper that he would never contact her again if I never filed for child support. He is not on her birth certificate. Paternity has never been established. Can I have his rights terminated? Can my boyfriend adopt her even though we aren't married? If he can't adopt her, is there a way to make him her legal guardian with me so that bio dad can't try anything in the future? I changed her last name to my boyfriends. We didn't have to notify her bio dad because he hadn't support her in over a year, hadn't had contact in over a year, and he wasn't on her birth certificate. At this time, he has not seen her in 2 1/2 years (she's almost 4). I live in Oregon. Her bio dad lives in Virginia. There are no custody/visitation/child support orders. The signed agreement we have is just between us. It wasn't even notarized. Thanks for any help!!!!

 

[Proserpina]

My daughter's bio dad signed a paper that he would never contact her again if I never filed for child support. He is not on her birth certificate. Paternity has never been established. Can I have his rights terminated? Can my boyfriend adopt her even though we aren't married? If he can't adopt her, is there a way to make him her legal guardian with me so that bio dad can't try anything in the future? I changed her last name to my boyfriends. We didn't have to notify her bio dad because he hadn't support her in over a year, hadn't had contact in over a year, and he wasn't on her birth certificate. At this time, he has not seen her in 2 1/2 years (she's almost 4). I live in Oregon. Her bio dad lives in Virginia. There are no custody/visitation/child support orders. The signed agreement we have is just between us. It wasn't even notarized. Thanks for any help!!!!

Did you lie on any of those forms?

This is a serious question - and there's a reason why I'm asking.

 

[aleasha8502]

Did you lie on any of those forms?

This is a serious question - and there's a reason why I'm asking.

On any of what forms? I've never lied about anything regarding this to anyone? Why?

 

[sandyclaus]

Did you lie on any of those forms?

This is a serious question - and there's a reason why I'm asking.

And was the child's last name LEGALLY changed, or are you both just calling her by your B/F's last name now instead of yours or bio dad's last name as you had before?

 

[sandyclaus]

On any of what forms? I've never lied about anything regarding this to anyone? Why?

On the birth certificate: Why is the bio dad's name not listed? We presume that you knew who the father was at the time?

And on the name change documents. Was your daughter's last name LEGALLY changed (i.e., through the courts)?

 

[Proserpina]

And was the child's last name LEGALLY changed, or are you both just calling her by your B/F's last name now instead of yours or bio dad's last name as you had before?

mmhmmm.

Because in either state, there's a little bit more to it than "Oh, well, he hasn't been in touch".

 

[aleasha8502]

And was the child's last name LEGALLY changed, or are you both just calling her by your B/F's last name now instead of yours or bio dad's last name as you had before?

Yes her name was legally changed. I went to courthouse filed for it. Went through the steps that they required me to do like posting it for X amount of time and such. I met the criteria they gave me for not notifying him. There was a longer list but I forget what all was on it but we met all of it, I had to show proof. It's been changed since March 2011.

 

[aleasha8502]

On the birth certificate: Why is the bio dad's name not listed? We presume that you knew who the father was at the time?

And on the name change documents. Was your daughter's last name LEGALLY changed (i.e., through the courts)?

His name is not listed because he wasn't at the hospital when birth certificate papers came around. Yes, I knew who her father was at the time. I am now glad that I didn't have him put on there.

Yes her name was legally changed through the courts.

 

[sandyclaus]

Yes her name was legally changed. I went to courthouse filed for it. Went through the steps that they required me to do like posting it for X amount of time and such. I met the criteria they gave me for not notifying him. There was a longer list but I forget what all was on it but we met all of it, I had to show proof. It's been changed since March 2011.

Oregon law requires the following for a name change of a minor child:

ORS 33.420 Notice of application and decree; certificate; minor children. (1) Before decreeing a change of name, except as provided in ORS 109.360, the court shall require public notice of the application to be given, that all persons may show cause why the same should not be granted. The court shall also require public notice to be given of the change after the entry of the decree.

(2) Before decreeing a change of name in the case of a minor child the court shall require that, in addition to the notice required under subsection (1) of this section, written notice be given to the parents of the child, both custodial and noncustodial, and to any legal guardian of the child. [Amended by 1983 c.369 s.6; 1997 c.872 s.22]

So what did bio dad say when you notified him that you wanted a name change?

 

[sandyclaus]

His name is not listed because he wasn't at the hospital when birth certificate papers came around. Yes, I knew who her father was at the time. I am now glad that I didn't have him put on there.

Yes her name was legally changed through the courts.

So, in other words, you carefully manipulated your way around the law by failing to identify the known father on the birth certificate and forcing him to have to establish paternity in order to assert his parental rights?

I don't care HOW glad you are. You were required to name the father if you knew who that was. Now you are trying to cheat Dad out of any possibility of having any father's rights without even notifying him or giving him an opportunity to give up those rights voluntarily.

I can't see ANYONE trying to help you to defraud the courts any further by doing what you are doing. This child deserves better than that from you, and so does bio dad.

 

[aleasha8502]

Oregon law requires the following for a name change of a minor child:



So what did bio dad say when you notified him that you wanted a name change?

I asked him ahead of time (before I started the filing) if he would object or if he would make it easy and sign on it. He said he would sign if he had to. But when I got the packet of papers at courthouse, the clerk asked if I had proof of certain things and since paternity has not been established, he is not considered a legal parent and we met all other criteria. I gave her the last name without his consent why I would I need his consent to change it? It was posted before the hearing. No one objected. And it was posted after the order was signed.

 

[aleasha8502]

So, in other words, you carefully manipulated your way around the law by failing to identify the known father on the birth certificate and forcing him to have to establish paternity in order to assert his parental rights?

I don't care HOW glad you are. You were required to name the father if you knew who that was. Now you are trying to cheat Dad out of any possibility of having any father's rights without even notifying him or giving him an opportunity to give up those rights voluntarily.

I can't see ANYONE trying to help you to defraud the courts any further by doing what you are doing. This child deserves better than that from you, and so does bio dad.

The lady that brought the birth certificate papers by told me that if he was not present, I was not allowed to list him on the birth certificate. I asked if she'd come back. She said she'd come back the next day but that if he wasn't there, she could not wait and I'd have to add him later. He wasn't there. After that, he made the decision to not be a part of her life. Even signed an agreement between us that he would not contact me about her ever again so long as I didn't want money from him. I didn't steal anything from him. I tried to encourage a relationship at first, but it was his choice not to have it that way. When I filed for a custody/visitation order, he requested a paternity test and never paid for it so the judge dismissed the whole case. I have not cheated anyone nor did I manipulate the system. I am trying to protect my daughter from knowing that her father wants nothing to do with her. That is not her fault and she shouldn't be put through that. And so far, I have run across nothing that says I've done anything illegal or manipulative. I followed the rules for the name change, to a tee so that it wouldn't get kicked back and if they determined he had to sign on it, he would have.

 

[sandyclaus]

I asked him ahead of time (before I started the filing) if he would object or if he would make it easy and sign on it. He said he would sign if he had to. But when I got the packet of papers at courthouse, the clerk asked if I had proof of certain things and since paternity has not been established, he is not considered a legal parent and we met all other criteria. I gave her the last name without his consent why I would I need his consent to change it? It was posted before the hearing. No one objected. And it was posted after the order was signed.

Was bio dad even notified of when the hearing was to take place, or given an opportunity to be present to object? He was, after all, in Virginia. What a perfect opportunity you had to do what you wanted without him even knowing.

And what proof do you have that bio dad DIDN'T object?

His name was never put on the birth certificate because you intentionally left that off. So you "lied" by omission about paternity of the child, making it such that bio dad would have to fight for his rights if you deemed him worth of doing so.

Yeah, I'm sorry, but you basically screwed bio dad out of any chance to be a father to this child, and now you want to formalize it by taking away his parental rights and having your new b/f adopt the child.

I see EXACTLY what you are doing here.

 

[aleasha8502]

Was bio dad even notified of when the hearing was to take place, or given an opportunity to be present to object? He was, after all, in Virginia. What a perfect opportunity you had to do what you wanted without him even knowing.

And what proof do you have that bio dad DIDN'T object?

His name was never put on the birth certificate because you intentionally left that off. So you "lied" by omission about paternity of the child, making it such that bio dad would have to fight for his rights if you deemed him worth of doing so.

Yeah, I'm sorry, but you basically screwed bio dad out of any chance to be a father to this child, and now you want to formalize it by taking away his parental rights and having your new b/f adopt the child.

I see EXACTLY what you are doing here.

I didn't intentionally lie by omission. I didn't know anything about how this works. I went by what the vital records lady told me I had to do and she said that if I didn't fill out papers right then, my baby would have no name and without the father there to sign paternity, he couldn't be on the birth certificate. At the time I wanted him on there cause I thought he would be a good father. Later found out he has 2 other kids he walked out on and never contacted again. I did not screw him. He asked for me to leave him be and not take any more money as he was already paying child support on 2 children (yes he's up to 5 kids now). I told him if he was going to be a part of her life, he would have to be consistent and present and he would have to financially support her. He told me and a judge that he would not do any of those things. So rather than fight him and have her feel like she's not wanted, I let him be like he wanted. And now, that's my fault? I admit having a child with him wasn't the smartest move but I recognize that and I'm trying to make it right by her.

 

[aleasha8502]

Was bio dad even notified of when the hearing was to take place, or given an opportunity to be present to object? He was, after all, in Virginia. What a perfect opportunity you had to do what you wanted without him even knowing.

And what proof do you have that bio dad DIDN'T object?

His name was never put on the birth certificate because you intentionally left that off. So you "lied" by omission about paternity of the child, making it such that bio dad would have to fight for his rights if you deemed him worth of doing so.

Yeah, I'm sorry, but you basically screwed bio dad out of any chance to be a father to this child, and now you want to formalize it by taking away his parental rights and having your new b/f adopt the child.

I see EXACTLY what you are doing here.

I basically just want to know if I am legally able to go through a second parent adoption or something like that for him to adopt her. Her bio dad would sign the papers if it came down to it but, it simpler if he doesn't have to. I just didn't know if that was possible since we aren't married. She does not remember her bio dad. My boyfriend is the only father she knows. I see you don't agree but her bio dad made this choice on his own and as long as he doesn't have to put out money, he'd be happy to be permanently done with her legally.