Noise

[Proserpina]

What difference does it make whether the OP understands mental illness or not?.

Too often, it's a lack of understanding that just aggravates the situation. We can apply that to oooh..about 96% of posts in this forum.

 

[I'mTheFather]

I'm struggling to find a happy medium here.

On the one hand, it's no fun being the neighbor. On the other hand, it's no fun being the parent either.

I actually do see what Ladyback is getting at, too. And yes, I do wonder how we got from "noisy" to lives being threatened (!). That's a bit of a reach, non?

So OP. Have you gone over to introduce yourselves?

Okay, so, we have a family whose son is so disruptive at night that the parents leave the home. Why haven't the parents gone around to their neighbors to explain the situation? Why does the OP bear that responsibility?

I get that he's jumping to conclusions. On the other hand, why is it his responsibility to understand the situation?

 

[Proserpina]

Okay, so, we have a family whose son is so disruptive at night that the parents leave the home. Why haven't the parents gone around to their neighbors to explain the situation? Why does the OP bear that responsibility?

I get that he's jumping to conclusions. On the other hand, why is it his responsibility to understand the situation?

I don't think it is his responsibility - I'm still looking for a happy medium though.

(And if anyone starts on the "medium..psychic....small medium at large" jokes I'm going to remind them that yes, it's Friday the 13th, and yes, it's a full moon)

There just doesn't seem to be an awful lot OP can do about it. Heck, I'm not even sure whether there IS a mental issue at play here.

 

[Ladyback1]

What difference does it make whether the OP understands mental illness or not? Furthermore, suggesting that OP offer to pay for the young man's treatment in order to get a good night's sleep is absolute rubbish and intended to denigrate OP.

If the OP understood even a small bit about mental illness then he might:
understand that just because the male is loud and verbally inappropriate, that does not equate to violent, aggressive or a threat

understand that the parents may be doing the best they can (and actually wish there was more they, as parents, could do for their son.)

understand that the parents may not have the resources to institutionalize their child


Of course, if the OP would come back and explain why he feels threatened due to the noise, and where exactly he believes would be an appropriate place for this young man to live, it could shed more light on the situation.

 

[I'mTheFather]

I don't think I could find a happy medium if it meant that my sleep was interrupted every night. (But kudos to you for trying. )

OP's options at this point, as already noted, are to continue to call the police and to involve the HOA.

 

[Ladyback1]

I don't think I could find a happy medium if it meant that my sleep was interrupted every night. (But kudos to you for trying. )

OP's options at this point, as already noted, are to continue to call the police and to involve the HOA.

OR.....OP is free to move.

 

[I'mTheFather]

If the OP understood even a small bit about mental illness then he might:
understand that just because the male is loud and verbally inappropriate, that does not equate to violent, aggressive or a threat

understand that the parents may be doing the best they can (and actually wish there was more they, as parents, could do for their son.)

understand that the parents may not have the resources to institutionalize their child


Of course, if the OP would come back and explain why he feels threatened due to the noise, and where exactly he believes would be an appropriate place for this young man to live, it could shed more light on the situation.

None of which he should be expected to do in order to enjoy a good night's sleep.

 

[Zigner]

None of which he should be expected to do in order to enjoy a good night's sleep.

...and none of which the other person should be expected to do just because they are exercising their freedom of speech.

 

[Ladyback1]

None of which he should be expected to do in order to enjoy a good night's sleep.

In situations like the OP describes, I always try and remember "There but for the grace of God...."

*shrug*

but, that's just me.

OP asked what he could do---I provided some things he could do to possibly make the situation better.

 

[I'mTheFather]

...and none of which the other person should be expected to do just because they are exercising their freedom of speech.

Agreed, though they may suffer the consequences of exercising their freedom of speech at inappropriate times that are probably defined by OP's community's noise ordinances.

I'm sure we all agree that freedom of speech is not a limitless right.

 

[Zigner]

Agreed, though they may suffer the consequences of exercising their freedom of speech at inappropriate times that are probably defined by OP's community's noise ordinances.

I'm sure we all agree that freedom of speech is not a limitless right.

Yes, but I'm not entirely convinced that the other person is actually violating the rights of the OP (et al).

 

[FarmerJ]

Prosperina there wont be any kind of happy medium, the DD person (developmentally disabled person) until SIB begins or property damage to others or physical harm to others its not likely the parents can place him into a group home, should the parents have to move , well NO but moving especially to a rural like area or area with alot of space between homes may ease tension for the young man. The only thing the neighbors can do is to keep calling the police and tell there kids that there are people out there who have things wrong in their mind and because of that it does not make them bad people and to try to see that persons life as a circle race track that is filled with bumps yet they drive that same circle over and over no matter how much they want to be like every one else and drive off the track` ( as far as the bad language etc its possible the young man may have schizophrenia maybe paranoid delusions, he may perceive others as threatening to him or that they are saying things , calling him names , etc but no matter he has every right to live integrated into the community , OP if he swears in front of you /at you state `thats not very appropriate` if he has ever been in a group home or in crisis care its likely that is how they would have spoken to him and it would ring a bell other wise there is not much else you can do , the parents likely are having to pay for his `staff` we have some staff at work who work in home hours providing direct care to give a break to the families so dont expect his STAFF to be able to talk alot about his condition or diagnosis , its part of HIPPA.

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

I think a person who apparently needs more specialized care than this situation provides should be moved. Take the issue of whether it is appropriate with the HOA in accordance with their by-laws.

 

[Proserpina]

HIPAA doesn't even enter the equation, but okay....

 

[Zigner]

I think a person who apparently needs more specialized care than this situation provides should be moved. Take the issue of whether it is appropriate with the HOA in accordance with their by-laws.

The guy goes outside to vent. How does that equate to "more specialized care"?