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Neihbor "Crossing the Line"

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rhythmMAN

Junior Member
Well, when she does something unlawful, report it. Other than that there isn't much you can do about what she is doing. Other than the driving issue, I don't see any unlawful activity on her part.

Yep - the local PD is quite familiar with her. Constantly wasting their time.
 
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justalayman

Senior Member
And again. How on earth would the children be subjected to smoke? They are absolutely no where near it.
how does she know that? You just said you don't talk to her.

I also worked for years in Social Services. I'm well aware of the kinds of neglect and bad situations kids face out there.
it would seem you would be more appreciative of a person that is willing to report a situation that could be child endangerment. Being in social services I'm sure you've seen parents that don't take measures to protect their own children.
 

Shadowbunny

Queen of the Not-Rights
We have this next door neighbor who has been consumed with doing everything she can do mess with us over the years. Any advice provided here would be graciously accepted!

She's a bitter, angry at the world, single lady in her 50's that stays home and takes care of her ancient bedridden mother. She has a poor reputation in the neighborhood as being unfriendly, never says anything when you say 'hello, and we always see her spying through her blinds/garage. Literally has no life. Which is fine! But instead, she has decided to harass us in the following ways in the last 2 years:

Speeds up & down the street aggressively, (we live on a cul de sac) recklessly in her car, constantly causing the neighborhood children to flee for their safety.

Called the police on the kids trying to get their ball stuck in the tree in her front yard.

Called the police on me, because she allegedly heard me cursing her name under my breath one day, as I watched her intentionally move her car into the space we have put our trash cans in front of our house for years.

Called the police on us because my daughter's car was parked on the street (near her house) for more than 72 hours. Bogus. It had stalled and we were waiting for the tow truck.

Called the police on us because my wife's car was parked on the street (near her house) for more than 72 hours. Completely false - it was only there one night.

Because of this, we do NOT speak with her. At all. For fear she runs and files yet another false police report.

But now? Now....she has gone too WAY too far.

Today my wife got a call from DCFS/CPS and they explained to my wife that someone (our neighbor) has reported to them that I am "smoking some substance out of pipe when my wife isn't home" and that I am "a danger to my 2 youngest children". And that they will be investigating it.


(1) I have a medical marijuana license, (2) It is legal in California, (3) My wife is well aware that I smoke and thinks this is laughable, (4) Clearly this psycho is peeping over the wall and spying on me when I'm in my back yard. Either that, or has a camera pointed at us.


Like, the false police reports were one thing. But now this? Now she's trying to get my kids taken away, and my wife is understandably quite upset. We're already staying clear away from her since the 1st incident, and don't even look her way. But it's obviously not enough. Is there anything I should/could do here?

I get that you and your wife BELIEVE that she's the one that called CPS. But you have no proof. And even if you did, there's nothing illegal about her making a report about what she felt was possible abuse.

Is it aggravating? You betcha. I have an old-codger neighbor who has been known to swing a shovel at people he's mad at. But she's not done anything actionable.

And this is the unsolicited life-advice portion of my response: From your description, it sounds like she has a really tough life. She's isolated, has the burdens and stress of a caregiver, and probably feels picked on by your family. If there's any way you can feel compassion for her, and take the path of "killing her with kindness", perhaps the relationship can be repaired to the point of civility.
 

Just Blue

Senior Member
I get that you and your wife BELIEVE that she's the one that called CPS. But you have no proof. And even if you did, there's nothing illegal about her making a report about what she felt was possible abuse.

Is it aggravating? You betcha. I have an old-codger neighbor who has been known to swing a shovel at people he's mad at. But she's not done anything actionable.

And this is the unsolicited life-advice portion of my response: From your description, it sounds like she has a really tough life. She's isolated, has the burdens and stress of a caregiver, and probably feels picked on by your family. If there's any way you can feel compassion for her, and take the path of "killing her with kindness", perhaps the relationship can be repaired to the point of civility.

This ^ is EXCELLENT advice!!:cool:
 

STEPHAN

Senior Member
Recently I had a similar situation.

A neighbour of a property we are renovating called the city on everything. We left the trashcan out a day to long - he called. We had a stone delivery and left it out over night - he called. Some inspector parked a bit on his grass - he yelled at our people.

My guys had all kinds of plans to flight him.

My wife and I wrote him a nice letter and wanted to bring it to him with some chocolate. He opened, we talked, he invited us in, we talked for an hour. We understand what is really bothering him and it of cause has nothing to do with us. He had tears in his eyes when we left.

No complains after that anymore.

This is not the first time my wife taught me to love people that had given me all the reasons to hate them. You don't know their story.
 

Just Blue

Senior Member
Recently I had a similar situation.

A neighbour of a property we are renovating called the city on everything. We left the trashcan out a day to long - he called. We had a stone delivery and left it out over night - he called. Some inspector parked a bit on his grass - he yelled at our people.

My guys had all kinds of plans to flight him.

My wife and I wrote him a nice letter and wanted to bring it to him with some chocolate. He opened, we talked, he invited us in, we talked for an hour. We understand what is really bothering him and it of cause has nothing to do with us. He had tears in his eyes when we left.

No complains after that anymore.

This is not the first time my wife taught me to love people that had given me all the reasons to hate them. You don't know their story.

You're a lucky guy to have such a lovely wife. :)
 

CTU

Meddlesome Priestess
I get that you and your wife BELIEVE that she's the one that called CPS. But you have no proof. And even if you did, there's nothing illegal about her making a report about what she felt was possible abuse.

Is it aggravating? You betcha. I have an old-codger neighbor who has been known to swing a shovel at people he's mad at. But she's not done anything actionable.

And this is the unsolicited life-advice portion of my response: From your description, it sounds like she has a really tough life. She's isolated, has the burdens and stress of a caregiver, and probably feels picked on by your family. If there's any way you can feel compassion for her, and take the path of "killing her with kindness", perhaps the relationship can be repaired to the point of civility.

Recently I had a similar situation.

A neighbour of a property we are renovating called the city on everything. We left the trashcan out a day to long - he called. We had a stone delivery and left it out over night - he called. Some inspector parked a bit on his grass - he yelled at our people.

My guys had all kinds of plans to flight him.

My wife and I wrote him a nice letter and wanted to bring it to him with some chocolate. He opened, we talked, he invited us in, we talked for an hour. We understand what is really bothering him and it of cause has nothing to do with us. He had tears in his eyes when we left.

No complains after that anymore.

This is not the first time my wife taught me to love people that had given me all the reasons to hate them. You don't know their story.


I love both of these responses.

Far better this, than becoming an episode on the ID channel
 

FarmerJ

Senior Member
If you can learn how to do simple straight line stitch on a sewing machine and get say fabric from a second hand store or discount store then a nice colorful screen made from fabric (with some kind of plastic on top if it rains a lot ) & pipe to block views say 4 sided ( top , rear, sides) so you have a sort of out door nook to sit in and smoke, read , make out with your wife or what ever with her view being blocked. As far as she goes its sad that she is directing her anger at others, providing care to someone who is almost totally dependent on someone else for every thing from toileting to showering , other grooming, changing clothes, laundry , housekeeping, meds , cooking, shopping , medical appointments and more often than not help is rare or even getting a few hours of time away might be nearly impossible and some times there is no money to even pay for a third party to come in just to give some badly needed time off. I do know what that is like, back in the early 80s when hospice care was in its infancy and very discriminatory I took care of someone with mobility issues , who needed assistance with the most basic of cares including showering changing his stoma bag especially when it leaked , dressing, undressing and I still had to work full time So my point is , do your best to give your self some privacy while in your yard , when she drives in a dangerous way call the police , and to the rest do your best to ignore her.
 

xylene

Senior Member
Everyone on this board hates weed whatever the law, so you'll never get a straight answer.

You've been informed the government is investigating your family - at this point you'd be stupid to not hire a lawyer.
 

rhythmMAN

Junior Member
DCFS told us they would NOT be doing a home visit, nor would they calling us again since it was one isolated person making the report. Also because there not any history of any similar types of reports. We also explained that this neighbor has been a problem for our entire entire block, and has had similar run-ins with other neighbors and filed similar "false" reports. She's a piece of work. Just so frustrating because we have done everything we can to not engage with her because we know she's on a mission. But she clearly has nothing better to do. In fact I saw her peering through her blinds just a few moments ago into our yard, as I was composing this email.
 

rhythmMAN

Junior Member
Everyone on this board hates weed whatever the law, so you'll never get a straight answer.

Yeah - I kind of got that vibe. Naive & uninformed responses. Evidently they think smoking grass is as bad as heroin or crack. Silly me for having cancer, and medicating legally in the my own back yard. Which has 6 foot high concrete walls around it, mind you.
 
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rhythmMAN

Junior Member
Recently I had a similar situation.

A neighbour of a property we are renovating called the city on everything. We left the trashcan out a day to long - he called. We had a stone delivery and left it out over night - he called. Some inspector parked a bit on his grass - he yelled at our people.

My guys had all kinds of plans to flight him.

My wife and I wrote him a nice letter and wanted to bring it to him with some chocolate. He opened, we talked, he invited us in, we talked for an hour. We understand what is really bothering him and it of cause has nothing to do with us. He had tears in his eyes when we left.

No complains after that anymore.

This is not the first time my wife taught me to love people that had given me all the reasons to hate them. You don't know their story.

We tried this many times. She's literally insane.
 

CTU

Meddlesome Priestess
Yeah - I kind of got that vibe. Naive & uninformed responses. Evidently they think smoking grass is as bad as heroin or crack. Silly me for having cancer, and medicating legally in the my own back yard. Which has 6 foot high concrete walls around it, mind you.

:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

We tried this many times. She's literally insane.

I guarantee that she's not "literally insane".

Get over yourself.
 

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