A thank you

[sipa]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New Jersey

I wanted to take a minute to thank all of you here.

I am a divorced Mom of twins, they are 10.

I had a great relationship with my Ex until his girlfriend moved in and could not handle that we co parented our girls.

I did in my defense extend my hand in friendship to her, but I think insecurity got the best of her.

We had a lose, agreed to schedule by the two of us, which I now know from reading daily here that rarely works in the end but my girls benefited from us maintaining a relationship for the past 3 years. So I guess that was god.

I didn't collect child support for a long time and that should have been done from the get go not for my benefit but for the girls.

When I suddenly found myself served with court paperwork it was here that I turned.

And it was here that I learned. I soaked you guys in like a sponge.

I then hired an attorney who tried to sway me away from your wealth of knowledge, and when I say that I mean the attorney tried to sway me in a direction of what is right and easy for me, not what is in the best interest of my children. Sometimes what is right and easy for us as the parents is not right and easy for the kids.

I went back to that attorney and laid out what seemed to be more difficult but what was right for my girls.

Impressed with my knowledge (thank to you) and impressed with my yearning to not throw my kids in to upheavel, we went with what was right for my girls.

And I got everything I wanted. I don't say win or won about court because court is a loss for everyone regardless of the outcome, the divorce is a loss to begin with.

Now I am seriously considering getting involved, going back to school and seeing if becoming a mediator is something I might want to pursue. Hell I don't even know if it's a real job, but I want to be involved for the sake of other kids in this situation, and maybe to help some well meaning parents. I will probably be 50 by the time I am done but what the heck right.

For reading you I have done what IS in the best interest of MY kids.

For reading you I myself am a better step parent to my husbands children. Because I learned here it's not my business. I can suggest to him, I can research for him, my heart can ache for him, but I can't change anything and it's not my business to.

For reading you, I am a better person. Thank you for the time you dedicate to the people here.

OHIOGAL I know some people give you a hard time, and sometimes I may not agree, but you are a good person, always willing to give feed back positive of negative. If I ever post a question and am out of line- lol let me have it!

 

[Rushia]

Wow, we don't often see this! It's nice to meet you! Hope to see you around more often!

 

[sipa]

you may just see me around more we have an ex moving out of state but so far I have gotten all the info I need from here and gave it to my husband and we are currently waiting for the next shoe to drop!

 

[wileybunch]

Wow, awesome all the way around.
And, I like the way you said you didn't say "win" because going to court is a loss for everyone. So true.

 

[special mom]

You are a gem for doing the right thing for your girls! God bless you!

 

[Ohiogal]

Congratulations to your children that the best for them was done. Who did you post as before?

 

[cyjeff]

Awww... thanks.

Now Oggy will get all mushy.

 

[Ohiogal]

Awww... thanks.

Now Oggy will get all mushy.

Hey someone understands why I am a big old meanie:

OHIOGAL I know some people give you a hard time, and sometimes I may not agree, but you are a good person, always willing to give feed back positive of negative. If I ever post a question and am out of line- lol let me have it!

 

[sipa]

Actually OHIO, I have never posted before, this was the first time. I have yet to see unique questions from the people asking. Most of the stuff posted are comman with each divorce and custody issue. Schedules, overstepping steps, kids being turned on one parent or the other, visitation pick up and drop off, change of residency. It's not overly hard to find information on this sight if you just read. The questions you may want to ask are pretty much questions that have been answered before. And although the laws may change from state to state Judges have one thing in comman, they aren't up for the bu**sh*t so leave it at the court room door. Don't be so suspicious, you were paid a compliment!!! I know with the way people react to you usually it may seem hard to believe!

 

[Isis1]

Actually OHIO, I have never posted before, this was the first time. I have yet to see unique questions from the people asking. Most of the stuff posted are comman with each divorce and custody issue. Schedules, overstepping steps, kids being turned on one parent or the other, visitation pick up and drop off, change of residency. It's not overly hard to find information on this sight if you just read. The questions you may want to ask are pretty much questions that have been answered before. And although the laws may change from state to state Judges have one thing in comman, they aren't up for the bu**sh*t so leave it at the court room door. Don't be so suspicious, you were paid a compliment!!! I know with the way people react to you usually it may seem hard to believe!

that's too long to turn into a signature line isn't it?

 

[truebluemd]

Wow, I really like how you put things in perspective. Knowing that I'm headed back to court in feb and march, its good to hear something like this.

And I must agree, of all the forums I know of (and i konw many), this is by far THE VERY BEST source of legal advice. So let me piggy back and say thank to you all as well. In addition to OG, LDI, you guys are really good!. Every time i go to view court cases, most what you guys say almost always ring true in the courtroom!

 

[starting over]

Actually OHIO, I have never posted before, this was the first time. I have yet to see unique questions from the people asking. Most of the stuff posted are comman with each divorce and custody issue. Schedules, overstepping steps, kids being turned on one parent or the other, visitation pick up and drop off, change of residency. It's not overly hard to find information on this sight if you just read. The questions you may want to ask are pretty much questions that have been answered before. And although the laws may change from state to state Judges have one thing in comman, they aren't up for the bu**sh*t so leave it at the court room door. Don't be so suspicious, you were paid a compliment!!! I know with the way people react to you usually it may seem hard to believe!

I read this board daily, I'm actually impressed that someone found the SEARCH button

 

[Ohiogal]

Actually OHIO, I have never posted before, this was the first time. I have yet to see unique questions from the people asking. Most of the stuff posted are comman with each divorce and custody issue. Schedules, overstepping steps, kids being turned on one parent or the other, visitation pick up and drop off, change of residency. It's not overly hard to find information on this sight if you just read. The questions you may want to ask are pretty much questions that have been answered before. And although the laws may change from state to state Judges have one thing in comman, they aren't up for the bu**sh*t so leave it at the court room door. Don't be so suspicious, you were paid a compliment!!! I know with the way people react to you usually it may seem hard to believe!

I am not used to someone actually reading and searching. Suspicious? Yeah well it is part of my nature. And I appreciate the compliment.And the bolded is correct. extremely correct.

 

[Ohiogal]

I read this board daily, I'm actually impressed that someone found the SEARCH button

Quite frankly THAT is impressive.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New Jersey

I wanted to take a minute to thank all of you here.

I am a divorced Mom of twins, they are 10.

I had a great relationship with my Ex until his girlfriend moved in and could not handle that we co parented our girls.

I did in my defense extend my hand in friendship to her, but I think insecurity got the best of her.

We had a lose, agreed to schedule by the two of us, which I now know from reading daily here that rarely works in the end but my girls benefited from us maintaining a relationship for the past 3 years. So I guess that was god.

I didn't collect child support for a long time and that should have been done from the get go not for my benefit but for the girls.

When I suddenly found myself served with court paperwork it was here that I turned.

And it was here that I learned. I soaked you guys in like a sponge.

I then hired an attorney who tried to sway me away from your wealth of knowledge, and when I say that I mean the attorney tried to sway me in a direction of what is right and easy for me, not what is in the best interest of my children. Sometimes what is right and easy for us as the parents is not right and easy for the kids.

I went back to that attorney and laid out what seemed to be more difficult but what was right for my girls.

Impressed with my knowledge (thank to you) and impressed with my yearning to not throw my kids in to upheavel, we went with what was right for my girls.

And I got everything I wanted. I don't say win or won about court because court is a loss for everyone regardless of the outcome, the divorce is a loss to begin with.

Now I am seriously considering getting involved, going back to school and seeing if becoming a mediator is something I might want to pursue. Hell I don't even know if it's a real job, but I want to be involved for the sake of other kids in this situation, and maybe to help some well meaning parents. I will probably be 50 by the time I am done but what the heck right.

For reading you I have done what IS in the best interest of MY kids.

For reading you I myself am a better step parent to my husbands children. Because I learned here it's not my business. I can suggest to him, I can research for him, my heart can ache for him, but I can't change anything and it's not my business to.

For reading you, I am a better person. Thank you for the time you dedicate to the people here.

OHIOGAL I know some people give you a hard time, and sometimes I may not agree, but you are a good person, always willing to give feed back positive of negative. If I ever post a question and am out of line- lol let me have it!

In regards to the bolded above, I have known MANY people, older and younger, who have gone into fields of law based on their own experiences or the experiences of people close to them.

I know a wonderful woman who took her own legal experiences, and the experiences of others that she dealt with for many years on forums like these who became a paralegal, went to work for a very well respected law firm, and who now is considered (despite no legal degree) to be a foremost expert in a specific field of law, and who now gives continuing education classes (accredited) to attorneys, in that field of law.

I also know others how have gone on to get law degrees, inspired by participation on forums like these. I know another incredbily brilliant attorney, who was inspired to specialize in an area of law, based on forums like these...and as a result she had done oral argument before the USSC, and is well known to be a national expert in a particular area of family law.

I also know many people who have become CASA workers and other volunteers in areas of family law, because of participation on forums like these.

I flirted with law school myself...when I was working on my masters...I concentrated on law classes when I should have been concentrating on others...LOL.

The bottom line is that many people can have careers within the law, that truly help people, without a law degree....and that forums like these often inspire those people to move in that direction.