Adoption and Race discrimination?

[Ohiogal]

oh, so legal consent is not required in emergency surgery?, or what if any is your point?? by the way, as stealth would say, you are a little late to the party dear!

Shay is right -- legal consent is not required from parents in EMERGENCY surgery. Efforts must be made to contact a legal representative but a hospital will not allow someone to die because they can't contact anyone. They will perform the surgery and go from there. Breathe Fair!

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

I hope Fair actually learned something today.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Shay is right -- legal consent is not required from parents in EMERGENCY surgery. Efforts must be made to contact a legal representative but a hospital will not allow someone to die because they can't contact anyone. They will perform the surgery and go from there. Breathe Fair!

Like why did I go to the trouble early on to post the LA statute re consent? Fair has been trolling all day
If OP keeps it up she won't find any doctor willing to yank her kids tonsils out.

 

[ellencee]

Well, this is about ridiculous. Here we are, living a world where child abduction is rampant and what the hell happens? Some fool office worker feels the need to make sure the parent and child relationship is true and wants some proof? Nevermind that the mother is white (let's skip 'Caucasian') and the child is 100% Asian in appearance. Who would ever think the child may not the mother's biological child? Not me; no way. Even if the child is Klingon, I'm trusting the white lady with the kid.

EC

 

[jebcat]

First of all, I didn't go to the doctor asking for her tonsils to be yanked. I went because twice I was told by 2 different pediatricians that my daugther should see and ENT because of her tonsils. We followed our doctor's recommendation. The ENT examined her and recommended we have them yanked. rmet is acting as if I went in there and told them to pull them out (rather rude with your comments).

I spoke with the office manager yesterday, but she was so defensive from the start and kept lumping adoptive families in with their foster care guidelines and parents who were divorced guidelines. I just wanted to know what their written policy was for adopted families and how they determine if a family was an adoptive family (really, how many times have any of you gone to the doctor's office and been asked if your children were adopted?).

Today, I spoke with the scheduler again. She called and was upset because the office manager said that I claimed she was rude to us (which I did not, she was nice enough). I explained to her that I had no problem with her, it was their policy I had a problem with. She started again on the foster parent guidelines and after we spoke she completely understood why adoptive parents should not be put in the same catagory as foster parents). She understood that my children were as legally mine as her children were legally hers. She also agreed that there was nothing on the forms that we filled out that raised any red flags and that she asked the adoption question because it was obvious that (then she stopped herself).

Rmet thinks I am making a big deal of this because I am a b***h (or even worse maybe I kidnapped them or something). Truth is, I faxed them the legal documentation and birth certificate last week and the more I thought about it the more I thought it was wrong. The more I realized that what I was doing was telling myself, my children and this office that it is okay to ask people to prove themselves if they don't look alike. I don't want my children to think that they have to prove their worth in this world or have to pull out documentation to prove that they belong to a family (do you want your children to have to do that). I don't want them to look at what I am doing here and saying well mom thinks it is okay for our family relationship to be proved, so maybe the kid next door is right when he/she says she isn't my real mother.

I never really thought much about all the African American discrimination stuff, after all I never really considered myself a racist. I am awake now and I can certainly see why this sort of crap over the long term would really give me an ass full of us white racist.

By the way, they never made me prove that my husband and I were the people on the legal document. No copies of our license, no fingerprints, no bloodwork, no birth certificate, marriage license, police background checks. Then again, maybe the girl I brought into the office is not really the child on the paperwork either. They didn't ask for her green card, Korean passport, Korean birth certificate. You tell me what the legal document really proves. If they want us adoptive parents to really prove who we are they need to talk to our social worker. She can tell them what is really needed.

 

[jebcat]

Here on some statistics for you:

According to National Incidence Studies of Missing, Abducted, Runaway, and Thrownaway Children in 2002 approximately 800,000 children were reported missing.

Of that 800,000 - Roughly 538,000 were considered runaways (my kids are a little young for this group); 204,000 were taken by family members (that would not be us because we don't look a thing like them so there is no way we could be family members); 58,300 were taken by nonfamily members (here we are getting somewhere); of these 58,300 only 7% or 4,300 of these abductions were of children 5 years old and under (both my kids fit into that age group) and only 115 of the 58,300 were considered long-term abductions (which our would have had to have been since my kids hang on me, call me mom, want my undivided attention 100% of the time)

Here is the race breakdown for those 58,300 who were abducted by nonfamily members:
20,500 (or 35%) were white non-Hispanic (some people confuse Asians and Hispanics)
24,500 (or 42%) were black non-Hispanic
13,200 (or 23%) were Hispanic
less than 100 (less than 1%) were other


I am not a real math wiz, but the odds of a white couple having kidnapped 2 Asian children under the age of 5 would be pretty darn low and the odds of them keeping them long-term enough for them to act the way they do with me is even smaller.

Statistically, it is white, black, and hispanic parents with white, black or hispanic kids who should have to prove that your child is legally yours if you are going to throw that sort of stuff at me ellencee.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

I never called you any names or accuse you of being a racist. I never suggested you had kidnapped the children or that the police do fingerprints or background checks. You have blown this all out of proportion. It is very common these days to ask for ID when you present for treatment, actually it is because some people who have HMO's have used their services to treat people who are not covered by the plan. I know of a psychologist who was self employed and no health insurance and his wife developed MS and he was actively recruiting patients and friends to try to get her Rx filled on their drug plans, eventually he lost his license for something else, but it is things like that coupled with HIPAA that have caused many providers to check ID, In this case they were playing it safe because they have a lot of foster children and shildren with custody issues, in fact an intact family might be the exception to the rule.

 

[jebcat]

I will say it again, since it hasn't sunk in:

My husand and I were NEVER ASKED FOR ID.

We are not on an HMO. We are on a PPO and our insurance card has all of our names printed in big bold letters right there on the front.

Again, I hear the foster care and custody issues crap. If we were our daugther's foster mother would we have the same last name (very unlikely). I am also pretty darn sure that they would not be listed on our insurance card (I am pretty sure the state is taking care of provide some sort of coverage in that case). If there were a custody issue there would likely be some last name difference there as well (not to mention that everyone I have spoken to in that office has said that they find out about these problems only when the other parent calls to contest the surgery).

I never said you called me a racist. I said I never considered my self a racist (if you don't get me here, I am saying that there are things that I have said that I didn't consider racist at the time and see that maybe I am not as lilly white as I thought I was).

As for the kidnapping thing you said that my posts were raising red flags (sounds like you are suspicision of my intentions not to show proof - implying that maybe I didn't have any proof). Then you posted "In this day of missing children, ID theft ..." You implied that we had something to hide and then threw out your missing children bit. Ellencee picked up on this and poked a little at it at my expense.

 

[Ohiogal]

You got your legal answer. There is not a lawsuit here> There was no discrimination. And while you may not have been treated up to your standards by the office staff, that amounts to nothing more than a complaint and we are not a complaint department. Please close this thread.