AFDC and Workers Comp

[HurtGrl]

What is the name of your state?California
I have a court order for child support for $500. plus medical insurance for my daughter, her father just recently called the DA to let them know he no longer works for the company hes been at for 12 years now (that was in March) I received nothing for April/no notice of this/insuranace has stopped plus the $. I am now behind in bills/food/living....and have no other choice but to move 200 miles away and take my daughter out of school due to financially I can't survive.....I myself was hurt at work 4 yrs ago and Im on permanant partially -workers comp.......I don't want to just pick up and run to my parents-taking my daughter out of school that she loves, does good and is a excellent little girl, why do I have to change my whole life for a dead beat dad....if I try to get AFDC will me being on workers comp disquailify me? And when I finally settle my WC case will AFDC take money out of it? I am so tired of TRYING just to SURVIVE to raise my daughter who is my world and deserves so much more than what I try to provide for her......meanwhile her dad has a brand new truck, 2nd marriage, travels to/from Hawaii and raising his new girlfriend/wifes 2 kids........what should I do

 

[abstract99]

dead beat dad....

I'm not trying to stick up for the dad her but why would he QUIT his job after 12 years. Did he get laid off? Did he get fired? Is he trying to get a new job. If you don't know then it is time to call dad and find out. There might be a valid reason for him unemployment. CS should still be paid but he might have a good reason for not paying it. He might even plan on making up the arrears when he does get a new job. Something to think about before you take a child that is both of yours 200 miles away. If he doen't see the child at all it might be a slightly different story but still...... you need to call dad to get answers to your questions.

 

[BL]

What is the name of your state?California
I have a court order for child support for $500. plus medical insurance for my daughter, her father just recently called the DA to let them know he no longer works for the company hes been at for 12 years now (that was in March) I received nothing for April/no notice of this/insuranace has stopped plus the $. I am now behind in bills/food/living....and have no other choice but to move 200 miles away and take my daughter out of school due to financially I can't survive.....I myself was hurt at work 4 yrs ago and Im on permanant partially -workers comp.......I don't want to just pick up and run to my parents-taking my daughter out of school that she loves, does good and is a excellent little girl, why do I have to change my whole life for a dead beat dad....if I try to get AFDC will me being on workers comp disquailify me? And when I finally settle my WC case will AFDC take money out of it? I am so tired of TRYING just to SURVIVE to raise my daughter who is my world and deserves so much more than what I try to provide for her......meanwhile her dad has a brand new truck, 2nd marriage, travels to/from Hawaii and raising his new girlfriend/wifes 2 kids........what should I do

Didn't I advise you ?

Go ahead and file . If and when he gets a JOB , they will help and go after him for the support money .

The will consider WC for eligibility . If you get a Big settlement they might cut you off during a period of time they calculate what you would have received from their Agency , or ask you to turn it over to them .

Do what you have to , to survive , but don't commit Court Contempt .

 

[nextwife]

What is the name of your state?California
I have a court order for child support for $500. plus medical insurance for my daughter, her father just recently called the DA to let them know he no longer works for the company hes been at for 12 years now (that was in March) I received nothing for April/no notice of this/insurance has stopped plus the $. .........why do I have to change my whole life for a dead beat dad....if I try to get AFDC will me being on workers comp disquailify me?

Ok, he HAS been paying, and providing up until employment? Thus he is now unemployed for maybe two months? That does NOT make him a deadbeat.

People DO lose jobs. I lost my job of 12 years last year- the company consolidated operations to the other location two hours away. In a marketplace that DOES happen. Likely he is now scrambling find another job. Betcha his new car purchases, trips etc were all PRE-unemployment? Does his wife work? Perhaps SHE is paying for some of those cars, trips and housing expenses?

Have you attempted to be in touch with him to see what is going on? It's ok for you to not work (yes, you are injured or whatnot) but sometimes people, even NCPs, DO become umemployed, disabled, etc, just as you did. Are YOU a "deadbeat" because YOU aren't working?

 

[LdiJ]

Ok, he HAS been paying, and providing up until employment? Thus he is now unemployed for maybe two months? That does NOT make him a deadbeat.

People DO lose jobs. I lost my job of 12 years last year- the company consolidated operations to the other location two hours away. In a marketplace that DOES happen. Likely he is now scrambling find another job. Betcha his new car purchases, trips etc were all PRE-unemployment? Does his wife work? Perhaps SHE is paying for some of those cars, trips and housing expenses?

Have you attempted to be in touch with him to see what is going on? It's ok for you to not work (yes, you are injured or whatnot) but sometimes people, even NCPs, DO become umemployed, disabled, etc, just as you did. Are YOU a "deadbeat" because YOU aren't working?

I agree. However it does sound like dad may have perhaps the MEANS to pay, even if he isn't working. If that is the case, then he would still be a "deadbeat" in my eyes.

 

[nextwife]

And you presume he has the means because BEFORE unemployment he, based upon the income he THEN had, took vacations and bought a house? Because he made big bucks while employed? He may or he may not have back up savings. Or that back up savings may be in accounts with his current employer who may have 60-90 days to send out his post-employment elections forms.

 

[abstract99]

I hate to say this but you should not be depending on the CS to pay your bills. YES.... CS CAN be used to pay bills but you would be **** out of luck if dad were to ever die. There are tons of people out there who are disabled and still work, me being one of them. There are office jobs that you can work at that won't require you to get up a lot. Even if they only pay a little at least you could set some money aside in case of emergencies like this one.
You say that he is taking trips and stuff. Maybe GF is paying for these. Maybe the trip was already paid for before he lost his job. (chances are good on this one) Wait... you said he on his second marriage but you also say something about his GF. Which is it? He is two months late and you are already saying that you are so behind on your bills that you are going to have to move. Seems to me like you are cutting it pretty close on the bills and are looking at CS as a source of income for YOU. It is not for you it is for the child. It is to make sure that the child is cared for. On top of that chances are good that dad is only paying a percentage of the costs for raising the child. You are still required to provide the other half. Call dad and find out the answers to the questions and post again with the answers.

 

[HurtGrl]

nextwife

First of all how dare you call or say am I a deadbeat.....I have raised a great little girl for 10 years before he came back into her life for the 2nd time, I put myself through school to become a paramedic and then was injured on the job, as for contacting him...all I have had is a P.O. Box as an address, and a cell number that is no longer in service. He walked out of her life once and has decided to do it again, he has only started paying CS these last 2 years and talked about moving to where his new girlfriend/wife lives, did I mention she has 2 kids and owns a house, so I feel he might just become a stay at home dad with someone elses kids, Real Dads just don't leave without a phone call, he could call the DA but not me, thats pretty chicken **** to me, as for planning on paying me soon, he just got through paying back 4 months of arrears and that was a court order, so no more advise from you would be appreciated

 

[LdiJ]

And you presume he has the means because BEFORE unemployment he, based upon the income he THEN had, took vacations and bought a house? Because he made big bucks while employed? He may or he may not have back up savings. Or that back up savings may be in accounts with his current employer who may have 60-90 days to send out his post-employment elections forms.

Notice that I used the words "perhaps" and "if".

 

[nextwife]

First of all how dare you call or say am I a deadbeat.....I have raised a great little girl for 10 years before he came back into her life for the 2nd time, I put myself through school to become a paramedic and then was injured on the job, as for contacting him...all I have had is a P.O. Box as an address, and a cell number that is no longer in service. He walked out of her life once and has decided to do it again, he has only started paying CS these last 2 years and talked about moving to where his new girlfriend/wife lives, did I mention she has 2 kids and owns a house, so I feel he might just become a stay at home dad with someone elses kids, Real Dads just don't leave without a phone call, he could call the DA but not me, thats pretty chicken **** to me, as for planning on paying me soon, he just got through paying back 4 months of arrears and that was a court order, so no more advise from you would be appreciated

People DO lose jobs. I lost my job of 12 years last year- the company consolidated operations to the other location two hours away. In a marketplace that DOES happen. Likely he is now scrambling find another job. Betcha his new car purchases, trips etc were all PRE-unemployment? Does his wife work? Perhaps SHE is paying for some of those cars, trips and housing expenses?

Have you attempted to be in touch with him to see what is going on? It's ok for you to not work (yes, you are injured or whatnot) but sometimes people, even NCPs, DO become umemployed, disabled, etc, just as you did. Are YOU a "deadbeat" because YOU aren't working?

You obviously failed to understand that my POINT is that a person, like he OR yourself, who does not have an income should NOT automatically be labeled a deadbeat. YOU were the one who labeled HIM a deadbeat because he, per the info you provided in your original post, for 60 days, had not paid support. My POINT, that you evidentally were unable to get, is that, JUST LIKE YOU, he does not have an income at the present time and that it may NOT be appropriate to start calling such a person a deadbeat.

Sometimes there are circumstances beyond one's control that temporarilly make them unable to carry their SHARE of the cost of supporting their child. Both you and he are in similar positions - my point is that not having the means to pay their share of support for a short while is not a reason to label that person a "deadbeat" right off the bat. You are both in similar situations. Not drawing an income. That that does not, just like that, make either of you a "deadbeat". YOU were the one calling someone a deadbeat, not I. My use of your term was rhetorical.

Capeche?

 

[HurtGrl]

newguyhere

First of all, thanks for the response(I guess) for 10 years I worked, put myself through school and very proud of the little girl Ive raised, lifes mishaps do accure and one happened to me when injured at work, yes its been hard but I have struggled through it all, just 2 years ago he returned for the second time to be a dad but a absent one, thats where the court order came into affect (and I could of gotten more but I agreed on this amount if he would just spend time with her) as soon as the garnishment started he never was around again...I do have a part time job, I help clean houses and so on, its just taking a toll on me, I don't feel its right when Im the Full time parent,and he comes/and pays when he can. He has new car, travels to and from Hawaii to visit family, goes away, goes out,dates, which I can say I haven't to any of that. Yes.... the child support helped out alot, and please don't give me the lecture of what child support is for....Ive had yard sales, cashed in cans just for birthday presents for parties my daughter was invited to....I HAVE and WILL make sure she doesn't and will never go without, but he needs to stand up and help out instead of always running away...he just got through paying 4 months from back arrears and it just kills him to have to pay.......THANKS for YOUR advise/comment

I hate to say this but you should not be depending on the CS to pay your bills. YES.... CS CAN be used to pay bills but you would be **** out of luck if dad were to ever die. There are tons of people out there who are disabled and still work, me being one of them. There are office jobs that you can work at that won't require you to get up a lot. Even if they only pay a little at least you could set some money aside in case of emergencies like this one.
You say that he is taking trips and stuff. Maybe GF is paying for these. Maybe the trip was already paid for before he lost his job. (chances are good on this one) Wait... you said he on his second marriage but you also say something about his GF. Which is it? He is two months late and you are already saying that you are so behind on your bills that you are going to have to move. Seems to me like you are cutting it pretty close on the bills and are looking at CS as a source of income for YOU. It is not for you it is for the child. It is to make sure that the child is cared for. On top of that chances are good that dad is only paying a percentage of the costs for raising the child. You are still required to provide the other half. Call dad and find out the answers to the questions and post again with the answers.

 

[BL]

Notice that I used the words "perhaps" and "if".

Perhaps this Perhaps that maybe this maybe that Give the Poster solid Legal Advise and quit speculating .

It's getting wore out people replying with If and ands .

 

[HurtGrl]

nextwife

Again he is a deadbeat dad, the last time he talked to his daughter was 10 months ago, even when I called him to tell his (voice mail) that me and my daughter where involved in a car accident/a car ran a red light into us, he never called to check on her, at Christmas she called him, he couldn't talk and said he call back....still waiting.....Im so tired of defending him to her, she feels he doesn't like or want to be with her...all I can say to her is he LOVES her and just doesn't know how to show it, some people just don't know how to be DADS,(as Im saying this Im grinding my teeth)I understand all the feedback I have received about this and that, really my first and main concern is why can't he just spend time with his daughter....if all she got was CS from him then fine, now hes stopped that without informing me, its not fair at all to her...he could of called me to inform me, ask me if theirs anything she needs, or how about this one.....if he could come and see her.. but thats the kind of DAD he isn't

 

[abstract99]

Ok then... AFDC can answer all of the questions that you have for them all you have to do is call them. And nobody can really tell you what you should do here. We can tell you what you can and can't do but not what you should do. I agree with you an the fact that dad has a responsibility here. Your best bet would be to take him back to court for the arrears and subpoena the court for permission to move.

 

[oiseeyuronhere]

I live in NY and I don't know anything about Calif. CS but in NY even if the NCP doesn't have income they are often made to pay at least $25.00 per month in CS. Like this amt would really do anything for a child today. Any ways, if you file for AFDC, they will ask if you get child support, as of now you don't. They will ask if you have any income, as of now you get WC and some part time income. Depending on the total of your income from ALL sources, you may or may not get AFDC. If you get help, in NY, AFDC usually helps you get CS. They take the absent parent to court and find out ALL the reasons they are not paying and are usually given a certain time to get their butts back to work to pay something. As for anyone saying what child support should or shouldn't be used for, per NY law it is to make sure "the child is afforded the lifestyle as if the parents were still together supporting the child jointly". Now, if that is to help pay household bills to make sure the child has access to the internet or cable or the phone and if that means living in a house instead of an appartment and to make sure the child has nice clothes, medical, dental, and glasses, it's all up to the CP. The NCP doesn't really have anysay as to where this money goes as long as the child has what they need. Sorry but that's the NY law. If you were getting $500 per month that's $125 per wk, now people, how much of this money does the child eat, need for clothes, etc? What about the hot water for baths, electric for radio, tv, lights etc? What about the phone, girls love to talk on that? What about the gas money for driving the child to parties, friends houses, the mall, school sports etc. Oh, maybe the child needs glasses once every 2 years. Come on people this money is about a child and their needs. This mom needs to apply for AFDC and go after this father for CS. You don't have to be years behind to be a deadbeat. Lets ask the question, does a child stop needing anything just because the parent lost their job? I think not. What should be asked is, is dad trying to get a job or living off the new thing in his life???Well if their married, in NY law, she could be made to pay support for deadbeat. How about that, you marry the deadbeat you take on their responsibilities. Sounds fair to me and I'm a mom, and yes I have helped take care of my x's children by a different woman. Have you heard of the extended family?? Don't be so critical of someone's situation, just answer their questions.