Re: i stand corrected
ktarra617 said:
i stand corrected momma tiger. It is the parents responsibility whether they are step or bio to support the children in aspects.
I agree if mom and dad could put aside their issues then it would be the best thing for the kids. However that's a perfect world.
We know that we aren't in a perfect world. Bios and steps get jealous or flat just don't like the successor or predecessor which ever the case may be. I don't agree however with leaving step moms out because while we have no rights in a court of law we do have rights in our homes.
I don't get in the middle of my hubby and his ex but I do make sure that I look out for the interests of the other two children that are affected by this situation. My daughter and our son are also caught in the middle. Granted my son is not old enough to know whats going on but he can tell when we are upset about something. My daughter on the other hand is old enough and knows in general that her stepdad and his ex are having a disagreement about her stepsister.
I don't think steps need to be left out if BM or BD is going to call and say hey can you watch the kids. And then turn around and get pissed off when SM or SD does what they would normally do for their own kids. If you don't want SM or SF involved then don't use them to be your babysitter or taxicab. Otherwise treat them with the same respect you would like to be shown.
Anyway just a few of my thoughts.
laters.
You make some good points as well. There really does have to be give and take on both sides. I know that my kids do have issues with their Dad - some stem from his insistance on introducing them to each g/f he's had since our divorce (6 over 3 years) and insisting to them that (a) she is a member of their "new" family and (b) that all of the time they spend with him will also to be spent with the current g/f, some stem from his upcoming marriage, some simply stem from their differences in personality. Do I always like the things he does? Nope. But when the kids complain to me, I tell them that they are issues they need to discuss with their father.
Now that he's getting married, there are other issues that upset the kids, and therefore piss me off (again being honest). It's hard to be 10 & 8, and suddenly be presented with Dad getting married, the rooms that used to be yours are to be shared (and are redecorated according to the wishes of the step-kids & mom), the rules being changed to accomodate, etc. Yes - my two feel that they're being replaced in their Dad's life. And there's really no way I can repair "Dad said we just have to get used to it." yeah, I get ticked off when they tell me (separately) that her son tried to choke my daughter, and both Dad and stb-wife said "it's just his way of saying he loves you."
And for all I get pissed off, my kids know what I expect of them. They are to behave. And if they smart off, or get pissy, or are rude - they'll have me to answer to after their Dad's done with them. That when stepmom's in charge, she is in charge and they had better be following her rules - or they'll have me to answer to when Dad's done with them. As I've told them - their behavior is a direct reflection of how they're being raised. End of story...
Wow, that ended up longer than I expected. and...... I have never asked for babysitting or ferry service. ;-)
