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Bio Mother

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FM step mom

Junior Member
State is TX

Mother not showing up for visitation since July 28 over not allwoing her to call and harass us or fight. We told her we were not spending the time and effort fight to fight that he would just send certified letters, since then we haven't seen the child. We have filed contempt papers for 3 no show visits. She isn't a bad mom on so many levels that the court views but mental this child is being stuck in the middle. How can we move forward if we can't control the mother.

Please help!
 
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Silverplum

Senior Member
I can't even read all that. Please edit it WAY DOWN, and hit "Enter" a few times here and there.

Also -- please reconsider your use of the term "Bio-Mom." We here find it offensive, unless you are speaking of adoption. Mom is Mom. Dad is Dad. Accept it and move on.
 

mommyof4

Senior Member
Good grief. There is no way I am wading through all of that. White spaces and shortening to the relvant points will help.

I will simply respond to your title. SHe is NOT the BIO mother. She is the mommy. Acknowledge it as fact, accept it as fact, and embrace it as fact.
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
Wow!

Cut your post WAY down, give it some spaces. And, most importantly, take the "we" out of your vocabulary. This is between hubby and his ex. You are a spectator (or, at best, a cheerleader). (And, yes, I've had to say earlier today too) ;)
 

mommyof4

Senior Member
Your husband doesn't get to control the mother. Nobody gets to 'control' the mother.

The only thing he can do is continue to file in court for contempt if she refuses to comply with the court order.

Who has primary res. conservatorship?
 

Silverplum

Senior Member
Thanks for editing that down! :)

There's no "controlling" anyone. You probably need to re-think what you meant. You will certainly never control Mom. Dad already had a failed relationship with her. See where I'm going with that? "Control" is not the key.

Tell Dad to read a few books on coparenting after divorce.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
State is TX

Mother not showing up for visitation since July 28 over not allwoing her to call and harass us or fight. We told her we were not spending the time and effort fight to fight that he would just send certified letters, since then we haven't seen the child. We have filed contempt papers for 3 no show visits. She isn't a bad mom on so many levels that the court views but mental this child is being stuck in the middle. How can we move forward if we can't control the mother.

Please help!

Ok, obviously you have seriously edited your post. Perhaps too much.

The solution is what your husband has already done, to file for contempt of court. However, he will never be able to control the mother, nor does your husband have any right to control the mother. Your husband only has the right to insist that the court orders be honored, and to file for contempt of court if they are not.

Also, you are not a factor here, so be careful using "we" in vocabulary as far as the children are concerned. Using "we" or "control the mother" in court, could do some serious damage to your husband's credibility with the judge. Using "bio-mom" would trash his credibility entirely.
 

tuffbrk

Senior Member
Op states mother not showing up for visitation. Then OP says that they have not seen the child. So do I take this to mean that there is a pick up location at which mom is not appearing?

Sending certified letters with regard to missed visits. Presumably, Dad is at the pick up location, on time and the mom is not? This is witnessed by/certified by someone?

This is the result of not allowing the child to call Mom on July 28? Or not allowing Mom to speak with her child on July 28 when she called? Does the CO address phone call schedule to be maintained?

Sorry - just trying to understand the root cause of the disruption being experienced.
 

mommyof4

Senior Member
I know who DOESN'T have ANY custody - that would be step-mom.

Well...yes, you are, of course, 100% correct....:p

For some reason, I keep thinking that I managed to catch a glimpse of a statement that DAD had conserv. In which case, I want to know how they have not seen Junior and why would he think that Mom is in contempt for not following the visitation schedule.

Ahhh...the perils of over zealous editing to try to make a point.:rolleyes:
 
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Ohiogal

Queen Bee
State is TX

Mother not showing up for visitation since July 28 over not allwoing her to call and harass us or fight.

Reading this portion it sounds like mom is the one who gets visits and dad has custody.

We told her we were not spending the time and effort fight to fight that he would just send certified letters, since then we haven't seen the child.

"WE" don't have a right to see the child. Why is mom supposed to show up? Has dad attempted to go pick up his daughter?

We have filed contempt papers for 3 no show visits.

We should not be doing anything. WE have no rights.

She isn't a bad mom on so many levels that the court views but mental this child is being stuck in the middle. How can we move forward if we can't control the mother.


Dear god. You wilL NEVER be able to control the mother. And that is the main problem. YOU want to control her. It won't happen. YOU are not to be involved. You are the stepmom and should be butting out and letting dad handle it.
 

FM step mom

Junior Member
mom

Sorry, was busy at work and edited way to much. NO more we.

Texas is the state.

Mom is the primary residence. For the last couple of years mother calls and harass the week before visits and the week after and we are not talking about a few phone calls we are talking about several a day at work, cell phones, and several at night. Child went home July 28 from summer visitation thinking we would see the child in a few weeks good summer visit, in fact the last day child went to Six Flags with a friend. He sent a certified letter for August went to the meeting place the standard visitation court order states mother didn't show up, sent a second certified letter for September mother didn't show up again, and then a third for October the mother showed up and husband unable to do pick up so me the step mom went to pick the child up mother showed up 1 1/2 late and then after big blow up her screaming and yelling at me, she called the cops so i waited for them she drove off came back while i was talkign to the cops, mind you i have maybe done 3 picks up in 3 years never a problem before now my husband does all the pick up and delivery it is a 2 1/2 hour trip to the meeting spot. Mother told cops that she would drive child to dad got on the highway going north bound but never showed up. She is haveing the child calls and say hurtful things to all of us including my children. There is long delays in responses which i am assumeing mother is coaching child on what to say. Mother hasn't work in what we guess a year, no remarriage, and very involved with daughter and visitation to our house. Mother is putting the child in the middle and we don't know what to do at this point mother wants to suspend or do supervised visitation saying child is scared of us. She is 9 and a wonderful child, no need for discipline and pleasent to be around. We me the step mom and child sew, cook, do everything togehter. Mother stated her concern in one of the million phone calls and we took child to counselor which made mother mad. I nor my husband want to control the mother, in fact we would just like her to show up and no drama. What i was trying to say is what do we do to resolve this, make it easier on child involved, our marriage and children. It is stressful with all this going on all the time. My husband has never missed a visitation or child support until mother decided not to show up.
 

Bloopy

Senior Member
My husband has never missed a visitation or child support until mother decided not to show up.

I assume you mean he's missing visitations now but what you wrote implies he may be withholding child support in response to Mom.


You wrote this post to clarify things, Its more confusing than before.
 

FM step mom

Junior Member
I am sorry child support is withhead out of his pay check always on time and never late in 9 years.

VIsitation never missed by his doing he is denied visitation a few times a year and this year in particular she wouldn't let child come in Jan 2007, due to said child was sick but no missed schiool or doctor visit, and Aug, Sept, Oct and now Nov. due to mother not showing up at court order spot.
 

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