can he file against me?

[mommy5]

What is the name of your state? georgia

I have been divorced for almost 3 years now. My daughter was 1 1/2 when we divorced and I have sole custody he has visitation EOW, 2 weeks in summer the usual.

For the first 2 years that we were divorced his visitation was at his grandparents and he would leave when my daughter went to sleep to go party and return in the morning. He didn't pay his child support so I stopped the visitation.

He has been remarried for a year now and has been paying his child support. I forgave all the arrearage he owed to make it easier on him since I had made my mistakes as well and refused his visitation. I have been letting my daughter go to his house one day a weekend on occasion.

He is now threatening to take me to court because I won't make my daughter stay with him on his weekends. She is 5 and has never had to stay with him if she didn't want to and I don't want her to feel uncomfortable. I tell her that it is her dad's weekend and she needs to go and she says that she just wants to stay during the day but not spend the night. How do I make him understand that I am not trying to keep her from him, I just don't feel like I should force her to stay with him? Will the court not see my point that he has only really been involved for the past year?

I just don't want to get into trouble. Can anyone help.

 

[CJane]

No, the court will not see things your way. You are ordered to have the child available for him to exercise his visitation. If that includes overnights, your daughter's wishes to not trump the court order.

Aside... what the hell is wrong with these parents?

 

[stealth2]

How do I make him understand that I am not trying to keep her from him, I just don't feel like I should force her to stay with him? Will the court not see my point that he has only really been involved for the past year?

I just don't want to get into trouble. Can anyone help.

Nope. He's got visitation. It's your job to help make these sleepovers fun for the kiddo.

Just how long do you thing he should wait to have her overnight?

 

[mommy5]

what do you mean what the hell is wrong with these parents I just want my daughter to be happy. He was $13,000 behind on child support in 2 years and I let that go so that he could build a relationship with our daughter. I am not trying to be mean to him I just want what is best. I don't think that she should be forced to go over there with him, his wife and her three kids and be thrown in the middle of a new family just like that. I think that she should be comfortable and if she wants to come home I think that she should be able to call me and come home.

 

[stealth2]

I think that she should be comfortable and if she wants to come home I think that she should be able to call me and come home.

Okay. So... when she gets up in the morning and tells you she's had enough of going to kindergarten - you're gonna let her stay home, right? 'Cause you just want her to be happy. And when she tells you she doesn't like those icky shots from the pediatrician, you'll let her go home w/o being stuck, cause, like... we wouldn't want an unhappy child. That would just be... wrong.

 

[mommy5]

No Those things are mandatory in her life and I understand that she needs them. I have been working with him on the visitation thing. I let her go over there almost every time he asks. I just don't want her to be thrown into this situation, or to be crying in the middle of the night because she fells bad or scared. I don't want her to hate going over there either.

 

[stealth2]

No Those things are mandatory in her life and I understand that she needs them. I have been working with him on the visitation thing. I let her go over there almost every time he asks. I just don't want her to be thrown into this situation, or to be crying in the middle of the night because she fells bad or scared. I don't want her to hate going over there either.

Guess what!?!?!?! With a court order, time with Dad is mandatory, too! And you can bet your bloomers that a judge is going to award him overnights based on his proof of the time you're been providing him.

Time for you to wrap your brain around the fact that her Dad is involved and you're going to have to get her used to overnights. The less of a fuss you make, the less she will.

 

[mommy5]

Now he is threatening me with custody because my daughter in on a safety plan with dfcs and is staying with my parents. My parents also stand behind me on the fact that she shouldn't be forced to go stay with him. Will this help me any if they are willing to testify for me? Could he actually get custody for me not allowing visitation?

 

[CJane]

No Those things are mandatory in her life and I understand that she needs them. I have been working with him on the visitation thing. I let her go over there almost every time he asks. I just don't want her to be thrown into this situation, or to be crying in the middle of the night because she fells bad or scared. I don't want her to hate going over there either.

You have a COURT ORDER. It's not your job to 'let' dad see his daughter, it's your job to MAKE YOUR DAUGHTER GO AND STAY. End of story.

Kids get 'thrown' into new situations all the time. If they have parents that give a damn, they also have coping skills.

My kids (one not much older than yours) occasionally don't want to go to their dad's house, and occasionally don't want to come home to mine. But they've never ever been allowed to believe that they have any choice whatsoever in the matter. And that's as it should be.

You're in violation of the order.

Child Support and Visitation are COMPLETELY SEPERATE ISSUES. He can be a billion dollars behind, and he still gets to see his kid.

 

[CJane]

Now he is threatening me with custody because my daughter in on a safety plan with dfcs and is staying with my parents. My parents also stand behind me on the fact that she shouldn't be forced to go stay with him. Will this help me any if they are willing to testify for me? Could he actually get custody for me not allowing visitation?

Your daughter has been removed from your home by DCFS and you don't think DAD should see her?

 

[stealth2]

my daughter in on a safety plan with dfcs and is staying with my parents.

And THIS wasn't relevant info?!?!?! Ya may as well spill.

 

[mommy5]

I haven't lost custody I said that I made mistakes. I didn't show up for a drug screen that they told me I had to have. I work 1 1/2 hours away from the facility that they wanted me at and could not lose my job. I didn't think that I would get into trouble for it. I also believe that it is his wife who is trying to get me into trouble with dfcs and think that she is the one who called and made the allegations against me. I am a good mom and have come a long way. I love my daughter and will do anything to make her happy.

 

[wildncrazyguy]

dont disobey the co or you will lose custody of your daughter

your daughter has no say in the visitation untill shes 18-she has to go when its dad's time, and you have to send her-PERIOD. you were WRONG to deny him his visitation because he didnt pay cs, those are two seperate issues. youll find yourself in court answering to contempt charges if you keep that up, and be fined, jailed, or lose custody. get the idea now?

 

[mommy5]

Do you really think that they would award him custody over me as I have been her cp for the past 3 years? I don't want to lose my baby and am really worried.

 

[stealth2]

The fact that your child is staying with someone other than you due to Childrens Services? Should make you damned worried. 'Cause that's serious sh*t.