can he file against me?

[mommy5]

I know that it doesn't look good on my behalf but am I not right to say that if child services doesn't see me unfit, would a judge?

 

[valleygrl]

Wisdom comes with experience, And age

Although your situation is nerve racking, here's a little friendly, motherly advice. Stop worring about what he is doing, you are too focused on the fact that he has moved on and wants visitation. Your first concern is getting yourself together. If you have to ask other people about your situation, then somewhere along the line you know you F****** Up.
You should be Grateful that your parents have your child for starters, You are grown, they have raised there own babies, and your giving them another responsibility. You should be Grateful that your childs father did not get the child instead, because grandparents don't have rights if one of the parents is fit. Use this time to 1. Find a better job. 2. Find a better group of friends to associate yourself with. Chances are if you surround yourself with productive people, you will not be likely to need drug screenings ect. Allow that man to see his child, she is not going to stay little forever, and may resent you for not trying harder to form the bond with dad that she will need.The more you encourage her fears of her dad, the more it will appear that you are bitter that he has gone on with his life. My ex-husband showed up at our divorce hearing, with his new girlfriend. I thanked her for taking him off my hands, and took her and him to lunch. Me getting along with him, despite what I really feel, allows my boys to be happy happy children.Thats what it's ultimately about. The Children.

 

[wildncrazyguy]

not smart to disobey a court order

my son brandon's grandparents have visitation with him, and i have no choice but to send him because its court ordered, if i dont, i could very well lose custody of him, and detroit is NOT a place i want him to grow up, los angeles is bad enough

 

[GrowUp!]

my son brandon's grandparents have visitation with him, and i have no choice but to send him because its court ordered, if i dont, i could very well lose custody of him, and detroit is NOT a place i want him to grow up, los angeles is bad enough

Wow, Kelly! How do you manage to survive in Detroit? I don't know of any place where trailers are allowed.

Go Cavs!! LOL

 

[Ohiogal]

Now he is threatening me with custody because my daughter in on a safety plan with dfcs and is staying with my parents. My parents also stand behind me on the fact that she shouldn't be forced to go stay with him. Will this help me any if they are willing to testify for me? Could he actually get custody for me not allowing visitation?

Yes he can get custody. yes you are wrong. yes you are being selfish. yes you are not comprehending the fact that it is a COURT ORDER and not a "court says if you want to". Also child support and visitation are TWO ENTIRELY SEPARATE ISSUES. One is NOT contigent upon the other. Just because he didn't pay his support doesn't mean he is not allowed visitation. Good grief. Grow up. Become a parent and foster the relationship with your daughter and her father. YOU SLEPT WITH THE MAN. If he was good enough to sleep with, then he is good enough to be your baby's daddy. Deal with it. Because the law will definitely deal with it and daddy will get custody. Especially if she is removed from you due to your home being unsafe!

 

[Ohiogal]

I haven't lost custody I said that I made mistakes. I didn't show up for a drug screen that they told me I had to have. I work 1 1/2 hours away from the facility that they wanted me at and could not lose my job. I didn't think that I would get into trouble for it. I also believe that it is his wife who is trying to get me into trouble with dfcs and think that she is the one who called and made the allegations against me. I am a good mom and have come a long way. I love my daughter and will do anything to make her happy.

You didn't think the drug screen was important? And yet you are blaming other people? Oh good grief. GROW UP! You are supposed to be an adult. If you had gone to the drug screen would it have been clean? When is the last time you used any drugs including pot? If you didn't have a drug problem or history then a drug screen would not have been ordered. Your biggest mistake is encouraging your daughter NOT to have relationship with her father. Daddy deserves to have a relationship. And the courts will make sure he gets it.

 

[Ohiogal]

The way I see it and my parents agree is that if children's services don't think that I should lose custody that neither will a judge. That may be wrong but doesn't it make some sense.

YOU ARE AN IDIOT. You have no clue and neither do your parents. YOur parents do not have any legal rights to the child. A judge will place her with her father before they place her with her grandparents. Get used to that idea.

 

[Ohiogal]

Let me speak slowly for you. See if you can follow!

So the fact that my parents had to help me care for her when he wasn't paying child support and that dfcs has to deal with them wouldn't that help in my testimony to the judge.

IRRELEVANT. Child custody and child support are two different issues. Daddy gets visitation regardless of whether or not he is paying Child Support. Oh and were you two married? When was paternity established? When was he ordered to start paying CS? Did he start off in arrearages?

I didn't fail the drug screen I just didn't show up.

YOu did fail idiot. It is an automatic failure not to show up. Because it makes you look guilty. People with nothing to hide would show up as the court orders them to do.


Their words would really help me. They have the safety plan because I did not lose custody. I assigned it to them. I think that this is all just coming from his wife. They call me every weekend to get my daughter.

THIS CHILD IS NOT YOUR DAUGHTER ALONE. THis child is HIS Daughter as well. Good grow. You didn't spawn this child by yourself. It took two. Do you need a sex ed lesson? I can pull it from one of my other posts. It may help you understand how the child came to be. IT TOOK TWO -- you and him. He is calling to get HIS daughter.

I usually let her go I can't help it if my daughter doesn't like to stay with her dad.

YES YOU CAN HELP IT. The court will ensure that you help it. You are to be facilitating a relationship between your daughter and her father. You are to be encouraging it and making sure your daughter goes. You USUALLY let her go? Well guess what -- when you don't, you are in contempt. Contempt is punishable in many states by jail time. So enough contempt you could find yourself behind bars!

It's always been this way and I don't see how a judge would decide that changing a routine that a 5 year old has had for the past 3 years would be in her best interest.


Because it is in a child's best interest to have a relationship with both parents. You are standing in the way of that. You have admitted it quite a few times.

like I said, DFCS didn't think that I should lose custody or they would have taken it already.


DCFS is not a judge. They would decide things based on different factors. The judge would decide on the best interest of the child between you and dad. Staying with a drug addict (alleged or not) who denies the father a relationship with his child is NOT in the best interest of the child especially if the father WANTS a relationship, is fit and would encourage a relationship with you.

This is not the first time that his wife has tried to get me into trouble I had a 6 month case last year because she wants custody of my daughter and made a report against me.

You are in denial! Complete and total denial. A 6 month case? You wouldn't have had a case for half a year unless there was something to it. You apparently are not a good mother. If there was no foundation to this, then the investigation would have been closed quickly. And stepmom has no legal rights to the child. Your ex does however. And he could get it.

I am trying to work and support my daughter. I can't be called out of work all the time to go and take some stupid drug test for no reason.


Yes you can if you want to keep your daughter. Apparently there is a reason for the drug tests. DCFS believes that you may have a drug history or current use. Which would make you a criminal. Druggies don't make good parents.

I think that he just wants to get out of paying me child support because that is always what he says. "I am paying my child support so I should get to see her" why can't he say I love my daughter I want to see her but I don't want to make her uncomfortable.

You are a selfish twit. He doesn't have to say anything to you. He is paying child support. Someday you will probably be paying child support if you don't change your tune.

 

[wildncrazyguy]

the mavs could beat the cubs if they were a baseball team

Wow, Kelly! How do you manage to survive in Detroit? I don't know of any place where trailers are allowed.

Go Cavs!! LOL

i hear the tigers are whipping a&& all over the place. maybe the cubs should take the hint and get rid of dusty baker(sorry dusty, but something needs to be done, the cubs are doing s&&&&& this year)