child adoption and name change

[rzkas]

hi? i want to marry a woman who has children by another man. she is divorced and for the last two years this man doesn't come around to see the kids and doesn't even call to check on them. The kids doesn't know their father and they think and knows me as a their biological father. i want to keep that going before we start having children. i all the children to have the same last name and to eliminate the step father and step daughter and step brother or sister thing.
their dad is now living with another woman and has kid. the husband and his family doesn't wants the kids by this woman i want to marry. one of the child was born without the presence of the dad because the dad choose not to be there.

what am i suppose to do to adopt these kids and change their names?

how old can a child go to court and ask for them to be adopted by another parent and change their last name?

the only between the dad and the mom is the child support the court order the guy to pay.

the reason why they divorce is the guy was cheating, the guy and the family hated her and made her a slave and one of the mistress of the guy came to their house and fought with her while she was pregnant. the mistress kicked her in the stomach. the police advice the woman i want to marry to live the premises for her safety and fetus safety.

i am ready to be fully responsible for the kids and ready to take upon the liability of the kid well being.

the woman i want to marry is will and ready to stop the child support from him as soon as we get married. she only needed it because she single now and going to school.

Mom has full custody of kids

i live in Seattle Washington

thanks

 

[WittyUserName]

hi? i want to marry a woman who has children by another man. she is divorced and for the last two years this man doesn't come around to see the kids and doesn't even call to check on them. The kids doesn't know their father and they think and knows me as a their biological father. i want to keep that going before we start having children. i all the children to have the same last name and to eliminate the step father and step daughter and step brother or sister thing.
their dad is now living with another woman and has kid. the husband and his family doesn't wants the kids by this woman i want to marry. one of the child was born without the presence of the dad because the dad choose not to be there.

what am i suppose to do to adopt these kids and change their names?

how old can a child go to court and ask for them to be adopted by another parent and change their last name?

the only between the dad and the mom is the child support the court order the guy to pay.

the reason why they divorce is the guy was cheating, the guy and the family hated her and made her a slave and one of the mistress of the guy came to their house and fought with her while she was pregnant. the mistress kicked her in the stomach. the police advice the woman i want to marry to live the premises for her safety and fetus safety.

i am ready to be fully responsible for the kids and ready to take upon the liability of the kid well being.

the woman i want to marry is will and ready to stop the child support from him as soon as we get married. she only needed it because she single now and going to school.

i live in Seattle Washington

thanks

Adoption is never a do-it-yourself project. To do it correctly, you need a lawyer.

 

[rzkas]

having a lawyer is not problem. i just want to know the loops. what odds am i going to be facing and what procedure do i need to follow?
what are the chances for it to be successful?
At what age the kids can go to court and asked or filed for them to be adopted and change their names with their mom by their side.
right the kids are 3 and 1 year(s) old

 

[TheGeekess]

having a lawyer is not problem. i just want to know the loops. what odds am i going to be facing and what procedure do i need to follow?
what are the chances for it to be successful?
At what age the kids can go to court and asked or filed for them to be adopted and change their names with their mom by their side.
right the kids are 3 and 1 year(s) old

It depends on if DAD wants to sign his rights and obligations away.

And honestly? A 3 and a 1 year old before the judge expressing a preference?

 

[divona2000]

...i want to marry a woman who has children by another man...kids doesn't know their father and they think and knows me as a their biological father. i want to keep that going...all the children to have the same last name...what am i suppose to do to adopt these kids and change their names?...

You are not even married yet, but are trying to adopt your girlfriend's children, and change their last name, and they think you are their father, and they call you dad.

Sigh.
When is mom going to tell these children the truth?

 

[Proserpina]

having a lawyer is not problem. i just want to know the loops. what odds am i going to be facing and what procedure do i need to follow?
what are the chances for it to be successful?
At what age the kids can go to court and asked or filed for them to be adopted and change their names with their mom by their side.
right the kids are 3 and 1 year(s) old

Is the father actually on board with this?

There is a reason I'm asking.



LOL sorry, edited: Yeah, toddlers don't go to court. Kids in King County go to court around the ages of 14-16. That actually made me giggle...I can just see it from the 1 year old. "Goo booga abbadib slobber".

 

[rzkas]

You are not even married yet, but are trying to adopt your girlfriend's children, and change their last name, and they think you are their father, and they call you dad.

Sigh.
When is mom going to tell these children the truth?

we have that in our plan after we get married. i am just getting information and advice. so when the time comes i will be ready

 

[ascott042510]

im going thru the same thing right now. my husband and i decided after we got engaged that he wanted to adopt my girls. there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. contrary to what shallow minded people tend to thing it is very common for a 3 and a 1 year old to associate dad to the person who is actually there. the one who actually takes care of them. and i commend you for that. but you do need to have an attorney. it is not cheap. if the father does not contest and is willing to come and sign over his rights it should be done in anywhere from 3-6 months. our adoption will be done in about 2 or 3 months. just waiting on a court date now. i wish you the best of luck and continue taking care of those babies. if the dad is as you say he is you are in a wonderful place to show them the love they deserve. and when the time comes later on tell them the truth. we arent going to tell my girls until they are older and can understand. good luck.

 

[Proserpina]

im going thru the same thing right now. my husband and i decided after we got engaged that he wanted to adopt my girls. there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. contrary to what shallow minded people tend to thing it is very common for a 3 and a 1 year old to associate dad to the person who is actually there. the one who actually takes care of them. and i commend you for that. but you do need to have an attorney. it is not cheap. if the father does not contest and is willing to come and sign over his rights it should be done in anywhere from 3-6 months. our adoption will be done in about 2 or 3 months. just waiting on a court date now. i wish you the best of luck and continue taking care of those babies. if the dad is as you say he is you are in a wonderful place to show them the love they deserve. and when the time comes later on tell them the truth. we arent going to tell my girls until they are older and can understand. good luck.

Because it's absolutely fine to lie to your children about their parentage.

Absolutely fine.

 

[ascott042510]

i dont know where you people get off thinking that a 1 or 3 year old will understand that 'oh this is the man that wants to love you and wants to raise you and wants to take care of you but this one here is the one that actually did his part to help create you and he has not had anything to do with you because he is a selfish man and wants things his way." i mean how crazy can you be. do you really think they are going to look up at you and say 'oh well thank you for explaining that to me....i understand now.' my child is only four and she wouldnt understand that. you want to torment a child who has siblings that is a great way to confuse them. maybe i should go test your absurd theory

 

[Proserpina]

i dont know where you people get off thinking that a 1 or 3 year old will understand that 'oh this is the man that wants to love you and wants to raise you and wants to take care of you but this one here is the one that actually did his part to help create you and he has not had anything to do with you because he is a selfish man and wants things his way." i mean how crazy can you be. do you really think they are going to look up at you and say 'oh well thank you for explaining that to me....i understand now.' my child is only four and she wouldnt understand that. you want to torment a child who has siblings that is a great way to confuse them. maybe i should go test your absurd theory

Do you need counseling?

You have no idea how adoption works in WA, do you? None at all.

 

[ascott042510]

you were not referring to the adoption in WA you were referring to a parents choice when to tell their child about the birth father. so that question is irrelevant to my response to your statement.

 

[I'mTheFather]

Because it's absolutely fine to lie to your children about their parentage.

Absolutely fine.

Of course, it is! A 10 or 12 year old is in a much better place to deal with the shock and disappointment of suddenly learning that her father is not biologically related to her. Why on earth do people insist on disclosing to a very young child that she had another father before the one that chose her? What possible good can come from that?

 

[I'mTheFather]

i dont know where you people get off thinking that a 1 or 3 year old will understand that 'oh this is the man that wants to love you and wants to raise you and wants to take care of you but this one here is the one that actually did his part to help create you and he has not had anything to do with you because he is a selfish man and wants things his way." i mean how crazy can you be. do you really think they are going to look up at you and say 'oh well thank you for explaining that to me....i understand now.' my child is only four and she wouldnt understand that. you want to torment a child who has siblings that is a great way to confuse them. maybe i should go test your absurd theory

Um, would you really tell any child that??

 

[ascott042510]

Um, would you really tell any child that??

and no. i wouldnt really say that. it was just a very exaggerated sarcastic conversation. i just dont believe there is any way to have that kind of conversation with a small child