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strider5
Guest
stealth2 said:
pure sarcasm stealth
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pure sarcasm stealth
I thought we were discussing the issue of paying the tuition. Not support for the child once they have been enrolled.
Tution assistance is not something that should be forced on anyone. As far as I am aware, there is no law in this country that a college education is required. It is a choice. Therefor, we cannot require anyone to pay for anyone elses tuition. PERIOD.
As far as support during post secondary schooling, some states actually require child support to 21 whether in school or not. The question of child support during college is debatable. I am of the opnion no support past the age of majority for your state. PERIOD.
Tution assistance is not something that should be forced on anyone. As far as I am aware, there is no law in this country that a college education is required. It is a choice. Therefor, we cannot require anyone to pay for anyone elses tuition. PERIOD.
As far as support during post secondary schooling, some states actually require child support to 21 whether in school or not. The question of child support during college is debatable. I am of the opnion no support past the age of majority for your state. PERIOD.
rme,
you are missing the point. Who does the legislature think they are? Why do children (not all, just those from divorce) living in, let's say, CT. get the RIGHT to a college education while children in, let's say, Wyoming do not?
When I was in college, it was somewhat of a status, or "weeding-out" credential. If you went to college, WOW!
Now, if the state(s), government, legislature, whatever you want to call it, beleive that ONLY CHILDREN OF DIVORCES ARE ENTITLED TO A COLLEGE EDUCATION, then they have violated the CHILDREN OF MARRIED COUPLES 14th amendment!!
you are missing the point. Who does the legislature think they are? Why do children (not all, just those from divorce) living in, let's say, CT. get the RIGHT to a college education while children in, let's say, Wyoming do not?
When I was in college, it was somewhat of a status, or "weeding-out" credential. If you went to college, WOW!
Now, if the state(s), government, legislature, whatever you want to call it, beleive that ONLY CHILDREN OF DIVORCES ARE ENTITLED TO A COLLEGE EDUCATION, then they have violated the CHILDREN OF MARRIED COUPLES 14th amendment!!
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gidgetgirl1
Guest
Oh My!
a plea for legal advise turned in to a smackdown...
I wrote down averages here:
1000/mo average house rent (there are no condos/apts)this is outside of Seattle
600/groceries
120/ mo gas for car
131/mo car insurance
373.00/mo health insurance
200.00 Braces
120.00 Elec/Gas/Water
38.00/phone
Assuming that I will never have a car payment in my life ever again and the old Jeep never breaks down and the kids never need anything like schools supplies, clothes, a doctor bill or prescription, school function or sport and the cost of anything never goes up and I never put a dime in savings or have to buy a spatula to stir my soup and and and...thats almost $2600.00 month. I dont know how some of these people support four kids on $1600 a month and pat their own back for their budget wise behavior- but the math doesnt work out if you're providing all that you SHOULD BE! Mindy T needs to get with Susie Orman and write a helpful book on financial wizardry for single moms! I'd buy it - oops , wait i cant, it's not in the budget!
a plea for legal advise turned in to a smackdown...
I wrote down averages here:
1000/mo average house rent (there are no condos/apts)this is outside of Seattle
600/groceries
120/ mo gas for car
131/mo car insurance
373.00/mo health insurance
200.00 Braces
120.00 Elec/Gas/Water
38.00/phone
Assuming that I will never have a car payment in my life ever again and the old Jeep never breaks down and the kids never need anything like schools supplies, clothes, a doctor bill or prescription, school function or sport and the cost of anything never goes up and I never put a dime in savings or have to buy a spatula to stir my soup and and and...thats almost $2600.00 month. I dont know how some of these people support four kids on $1600 a month and pat their own back for their budget wise behavior- but the math doesnt work out if you're providing all that you SHOULD BE! Mindy T needs to get with Susie Orman and write a helpful book on financial wizardry for single moms! I'd buy it - oops , wait i cant, it's not in the budget!
I know how expensive is to raise children, there never seems to be enough and always something coming up. Raising 4 children and 2 adults on 1600 a month is well below the poverty level. While people are allowed their opinions and may focus on that to the exclusion of the existing law, especially when they have an agenda, not everyone here will close their eyes or not provide access to the laws that apply.
Fortunately some progressive legeslators have had more insight and thought ahead to protect the promises of parents made to their children prior to divorce, to at least make some provision for education. Without these provisions, many of these children are not eligible for student loans because of the income levels of the parent no longer paying child support and thus having less access to funds for education than those from intact families, so they are discriminated against because their parents may have the ability to pay but may not be required. In general these statutes still are considered on a case by case basis and usually are continuing what would have been in place had the family remained intact and not a free ticket. In time other states will have similar statutes possibly.
It is unfortunate that funding is not available across the board, that was not the issue. The question was regarding post secondary support in Washington State and those statutes exist and references to them were linked, not whether or not it was fair.
Fortunately some progressive legeslators have had more insight and thought ahead to protect the promises of parents made to their children prior to divorce, to at least make some provision for education. Without these provisions, many of these children are not eligible for student loans because of the income levels of the parent no longer paying child support and thus having less access to funds for education than those from intact families, so they are discriminated against because their parents may have the ability to pay but may not be required. In general these statutes still are considered on a case by case basis and usually are continuing what would have been in place had the family remained intact and not a free ticket. In time other states will have similar statutes possibly.
It is unfortunate that funding is not available across the board, that was not the issue. The question was regarding post secondary support in Washington State and those statutes exist and references to them were linked, not whether or not it was fair.
Now, if the state(s), government, legislature, whatever you want to call it, beleive that ONLY CHILDREN OF DIVORCES ARE ENTITLED TO A COLLEGE EDUCATION, then they have violated the CHILDREN OF MARRIED COUPLES 14th amendment!!
I can only speak for the laws in the state of Alabama regarding this issue. The laws do not say that all children of divorce are entitled to post minority support. What a judge does is base his ruling on the intent of both parties during the marriage. It's a complicated matter and not as black and white as you are trying to make it.
I have to prove in court that my husband's intent during our marriage was to pay his children's college tuitions. That will be easy to do. If I go to court asking for post minority support and can not prove that it was his intentions then I don't get the support.
There are no broad sweeping laws that say children of divorce automatically get college educations. There are laws on the books in some states to protect children of divorce when one of their parents tries to go back on what was promised.
A child of an intact family is just as intitled to the support that a child of divorce is. I'm not sure why you have a problem with laws that have been set up to protect children of divorce.
snodderly
I can only speak for the laws in the state of Alabama regarding this issue. The laws do not say that all children of divorce are entitled to post minority support. What a judge does is base his ruling on the intent of both parties during the marriage. It's a complicated matter and not as black and white as you are trying to make it.
I have to prove in court that my husband's intent during our marriage was to pay his children's college tuitions. That will be easy to do. If I go to court asking for post minority support and can not prove that it was his intentions then I don't get the support.
There are no broad sweeping laws that say children of divorce automatically get college educations. There are laws on the books in some states to protect children of divorce when one of their parents tries to go back on what was promised.
A child of an intact family is just as intitled to the support that a child of divorce is. I'm not sure why you have a problem with laws that have been set up to protect children of divorce.
snodderly
put yourself in my shoes. my leech drags me through court and soaks me for $1400 a month, all the while interfering somehow with every visit when I fly 3000 miles just to spend every last day of vacation I get for the year with my daughter.
typical of a man eh?
I realize it takes at least $5000 a month to raise my 4-year-old daughter, but if she put even $200 away per month, she would end up with $100,000 in 18 years using a relatively low return rate of 8%
I just don't know though, she might have to move into a cardboard box if she only had $1200 per month tax-free to spend. woe to her!!
How much do you put away every month strider? I'm assuming you make a pretty hefty salary if you are paying $1400 a month in child support. States have guidlines that are based on income. That has to be one hell of a fine income you have to be paying that much child support. On top of the fact that your wife is raising your daughter on a fraction of the income you are living on, you also look down on her because she might not be putting money away for college?
So, your ex and your daughter are out there living on a fraction of the income you live on and you resent the hell out of it don't you? You recent having to help at all because you got left.
Your ex wife didn't just "pop out" a baby. She popped out your baby!! You say you spend every day of vacation you get flying 3000 miles to be with your daughter. That means no every other weekend visitation. That means that your wife has total responsibility for the care and nurturing of your daughter except for those days on your vacation.
She is raising your daughter basically on her own and with the amount of anger you show here I doubt seriously she gets much support of any kind other than money from you.
So this woman that you used to be married to and is now solely responsible for the day to day care of your child gets $22,000 a year for all that effort. Hell, you are getting off cheap. Try hiring a full time nanny to do the same thing your ex wife does and you would pay twice that much.
I have a feeling you wouldn't mind paying it though. Your problem is not the amount of support you pay but the amount of anger you feel at your ex wife. If your daughter suffers the consequences of that anger you could care less.
My children have a parent like you. He is so bent out of shape over issues he has with me that his children do without and he grins and shrugs his shoulders. For men like you it's not about building a healthy relationship with the child caught in the middle but getting back at the ex.
One day you will get it....won't be a pleasant revelation either probably.
snodderly
typical of a man eh?
I realize it takes at least $5000 a month to raise my 4-year-old daughter, but if she put even $200 away per month, she would end up with $100,000 in 18 years using a relatively low return rate of 8%
I just don't know though, she might have to move into a cardboard box if she only had $1200 per month tax-free to spend. woe to her!!
How much do you put away every month strider? I'm assuming you make a pretty hefty salary if you are paying $1400 a month in child support. States have guidlines that are based on income. That has to be one hell of a fine income you have to be paying that much child support. On top of the fact that your wife is raising your daughter on a fraction of the income you are living on, you also look down on her because she might not be putting money away for college?
So, your ex and your daughter are out there living on a fraction of the income you live on and you resent the hell out of it don't you? You recent having to help at all because you got left.
Your ex wife didn't just "pop out" a baby. She popped out your baby!! You say you spend every day of vacation you get flying 3000 miles to be with your daughter. That means no every other weekend visitation. That means that your wife has total responsibility for the care and nurturing of your daughter except for those days on your vacation.
She is raising your daughter basically on her own and with the amount of anger you show here I doubt seriously she gets much support of any kind other than money from you.
So this woman that you used to be married to and is now solely responsible for the day to day care of your child gets $22,000 a year for all that effort. Hell, you are getting off cheap. Try hiring a full time nanny to do the same thing your ex wife does and you would pay twice that much.
I have a feeling you wouldn't mind paying it though. Your problem is not the amount of support you pay but the amount of anger you feel at your ex wife. If your daughter suffers the consequences of that anger you could care less.
My children have a parent like you. He is so bent out of shape over issues he has with me that his children do without and he grins and shrugs his shoulders. For men like you it's not about building a healthy relationship with the child caught in the middle but getting back at the ex.
One day you will get it....won't be a pleasant revelation either probably.
snodderly
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strider5
Guest
snodderly said:
please try reading. this person was never my exclusive girlfriend, much less my loving and caring wife. adn I didnt get left, I have never lived within 3000 miles of her.
I dont resent paying child support. I resent this leeching whore screwing with my visitation every time I fly out to try to spend time with my daughter.
my daughter spends upwards of 10 hours per day in daycare, and has since birth, so dont try to guilt trip me. but because she would have to light a crackpipe in court before a judge would ever let me and my wife get custody of my daughter to give her a REAL home and a REAL shot at life.
heh. keep stereotyping genius.
PenutButterChip
Junior Member
strider5 said:
Strider Strider Strider, if she is messing with you then take her to court. And can I just say that you need to expell some of this anger because apparently you were there too, that night she got pregnant. And not to be all up in your personal but you should have had it strapped on a little tighter and you wouldnt even have been in this situation. But of course you should already know that. So suck it up, pay the money, and report her when she jerks you. And dont spite your daughter to get to her because she could give a rats ass what you do, she just wants to ring you around the pole.
I argee with you MindyT. My husband pays 2000.00 per month for child support for 3 children, and the ex is not using it on the kids. She called today wanting more money for school supplies, and she got her check this week. They live in a trailer, a dirty one, she didnt have 20 bucks so they could go on a church trip. Yet she supports her 3 sometimes 4 sisters their 3 kids and boyfriends. There is no way that she will get another penny from us. Oh she also got 45,000.00 as a lum sum, so there is no reason why there isnt any money saved for college. Its all about budgeting.
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MindyT
Guest
Man kcs; sounds like your husband got fried, which unfortunately happens a lot. It really frustrates a NCP when they KNOW the money isn't being spent on what it should be but the courts don't want to hear it or don't want to look into it. My husband has an ex JUST like that. Trailer trash and everything. If she doesn't get her money right when she thinks she should, she asks him did he send it, when will it get there (although it's court ordered and comes out of his check every week; it's out of his hands after that). I know how it feels. But think, there IS an end to it, even though it seems like forever.
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