Contact after Termination of Rights

[Ohiogal]

If the child calls him then he should have a way of getting in touch with the mother. Especially if he has the phone number. There are reverse directories and what not.

 

[jlblades]

Because MOM is his law until he is an adult. You are encouraging him to disobey his mother's authority and engage in conduct that his LEGAL PARENT does not want him engaging in.

That is not breaking any Local, Federal, or State Laws as defined in a previous post. I think in this case there are other considerations other than a legal descriptions that are vague and open to interpretation. There is a moral obligation that stands above the Mothers wish. The position of the Court will always be in the best interest of the Child. I think closing the door would be a huge slap in the face for this poor kid. I think the father has handled himself admirably and I doubt any judge would think otherwise.

 

[Ohiogal]

That is not breaking any Local, Federal, or State Laws as defined in a previous post. I think in this case there are other considerations other than a legal descriptions that are vague and open to interpretation. There is a moral obligation that stands above the Mothers wish. The position of the Court will always be in the best interest of the Child. I think closing the door would be a huge slap in the face for this poor kid. I think the father has handled himself admirably and I doubt any judge would think otherwise.

I don't doubt that a judge would think otherwise. If mom doesn't want him to have contact, a judge is going to slap him silly for engaging. End of story. Morality? This man ABANDONED this child 15 years ago and now he wants the obligation? Sorry but morally he should have thought about the child 15 years ago -- instead he thought about himself and now he has NO rights to have contact with this child.

 

[wileybunch]

That is not breaking any Local, Federal, or State Laws as defined in a previous post. I think in this case there are other considerations other than a legal descriptions that are vague and open to interpretation. There is a moral obligation that stands above the Mothers wish. The position of the Court will always be in the best interest of the Child. I think closing the door would be a huge slap in the face for this poor kid. I think the father has handled himself admirably and I doubt any judge would think otherwise.

Dad is not only a LEGAL stranger, but a STRANGER stranger. And, you think a court would want people who are STRANGERS to feel encouraged to have secret relationships with minors? Riiiight.

 

[justalayman]

...and leave him feeling not only abandoned, but rejected. Yeah, that's lovely.

I can see you are hopeless and will do whatever you want. You forgot to include this part in the quote:

You are subverting his mothers authority by continuing the contact. You simply tell the kid, if mom has said no contact, then you and I need to respect her and severe this communication until she agrees to it.

 

[tijerin]

So, let's say you decide to continue to stay in touch. Mom gets a restraining order to keep you away. (which WILL be on your record). You CONTINUE to remain in touch with Junior, thus not complying with the restraining order, and you face criminal charges.

So, you decide.

And if you EVER agree or encourage this kid to meet you somewhere, you have opened up a whole new compartment in Pandora' box (legally and criminally).

The attorney is someone Ive known since before he was born and actually was involved in the initial court proceedings so he knows EXACTLY what is going on and has ALL the information.

As for encouraging to meet him, I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't even call him. I'm also not INITIATING email (ie. not emailing him first). I'm only responding to the occasional question that he emails me first. I'm also not discussing anything to do with his mother or what happened between us. Im only answering his questions about me and listening to what he has to say about himself. That's all and I don't plan on escalating beyond that.

 

[tijerin]

That is not breaking any Local, Federal, or State Laws as defined in a previous post. I think in this case there are other considerations other than a legal descriptions that are vague and open to interpretation. There is a moral obligation that stands above the Mothers wish. The position of the Court will always be in the best interest of the Child. I think closing the door would be a huge slap in the face for this poor kid. I think the father has handled himself admirably and I doubt any judge would think otherwise.

Thank you. I completely agree and so does the attorney in Texas. He said that the courts have better things to do than track down and drag back to Texas a guy whos receiving and responding to emails from his son. Yes... I know I'm not legally his father.. y'all dont have to keep telling me that.. I stipulate to that

He (the lawyer) said there would no grounds for a restraining order and, if I decided to show up at court, she probably wouldn't get the TRO made permanent and, if she should get a RO, she would have a heck of a time getting a Texas restraining order enforced in California. However, he also said the conversation at a TRO hearing would probably go something like this.... "While this court cannot recognize you as the father in a legal matter, the court would strongly encourage Mrs. (insert name) to allow this boy to cultivate a relationship with his father even if just in a minimal form. By withholding the boy from seeking information and contact he desires, the risk you take is that you will create resentment in the boy and could hurt him emotionally."

Despite all of this, I'm doing my best not to encourage an escalation of contact while encouraging the boy to inform his mother about our contact but at the same time not ignoring him. At some point, when he wants a higher degree of contact (phone call, meeting etc), he will have to tell his mother.

 

[tijerin]

I don't doubt that a judge would think otherwise. If mom doesn't want him to have contact, a judge is going to slap him silly for engaging. End of story. Morality? This man ABANDONED this child 15 years ago and now he wants the obligation? Sorry but morally he should have thought about the child 15 years ago -- instead he thought about himself and now he has NO rights to have contact with this child.

You seem like a very bitter person. You don't have any idea under what circumstances the rights were given up. You also assume that I gave up my rights for selfish reasons. You also don't know what I "thought about" when that happened.

If I was chained to a tree while a million ants were attacking me and they wouldn't let me loose until I signed the paper, would that change how you feel?

If so, then you shouldn't judge me and presume to be so black and white stating that any man that gave up his rights did it for selfish reasons. If my being attacked by ants (et al) wouldn't change your mind and that you would still feel as if I did this for selfish reasons... then you are absolutely frickin nuts.

For the most part, the world isn't black and white.. it's many shades of gray.

 

[Isis1]

You seem like a very bitter person. You don't have any idea under what circumstances the rights were given up. You also assume that I gave up my rights for selfish reasons. You also don't know what I "thought about" when that happened.

If I was chained to a tree while a million ants were attacking me and they wouldn't let me loose until I signed the paper, would that change how you feel?

If so, then you shouldn't judge me and presume to be so black and white stating that any man that gave up his rights did it for selfish reasons. If my being attacked by ants (et al) wouldn't change your mind and that you would still feel as if I did this for selfish reasons... then you are absolutely frickin nuts.

For the most part, the world isn't black and white.. it's many shades of gray.

i wouldn't have signed the paper.

giving up parental rights is permanent. regardless of whatever reason you justified yourself with for 15 years. it's done. you are no longer a father. this child is not your anything anymore.

quick story. my mom refused to allow me to contact my own father. at 17, she finally showed me my own birth certificate. through his SSN, i contacted him. the day he showed up at my school, i took him to go see my mom. my mom knew i would contact my dad as soon as i saw his SSN. i think child's mom showed the myspace on purpose. go find her. get things on the up and up with her. the legal parent.

 

[tijerin]

Dad is not only a LEGAL stranger, but a STRANGER stranger. And, you think a court would want people who are STRANGERS to feel encouraged to have secret relationships with minors? Riiiight.

Yes, a stranger, but not a STRANGER stranger. I'm his biological father. Much different than some random guy having contact with this minor.

 

[tijerin]

giving up parental rights is permanent. regardless of whatever reason you justified yourself with for 15 years. it's done. you are no longer a father. this child is not your anything anymore.

I agree and understand that the rights are permanently gone.

Where I disagree is that the child "is not your anything anymore".

That's ridiculous.

While I may not have PARENTAL RIGHTS (thus the term "termination of parental rights") giving me say in how he's raised, where he lives, etc, that doesn't magically erase my DNA from his. I'm still his biological father. NOTHING can change that. He'll always be my biological son and I will always be his biological father.

 

[Isis1]

I agree and understand that the rights are permanently gone.

Where I disagree is that the child "is not your anything anymore".

That's ridiculous.

While I may not have PARENTAL RIGHTS (thus the term "termination of parental rights") giving me say in how he's raised, where he lives, etc, that doesn't magically erase my DNA from his. I'm still his biological father. NOTHING can change that. He'll always be my biological son and I will always be his biological father.

in a a court of law, you have no business contacting this child or allowing contact without the parent's permission. stop allowing this child to get YOU the adult in trouble. go find mom and let her know what's going on. until then, don't do anything with this child.

 

[Zigner]

Yes, a stranger, but not a STRANGER stranger. I'm his biological father. Much different than some random guy having contact with this minor.

You couldn't be further from the truth...

 

[Ohiogal]

Again Isabella he will do whatever he wants. Let him. When he does end up with a restraining order and faces jail for violating it (answering an email) then maybe he will finally get it. Then again most likely not. Stupidity this ingrained has to be in his DNA.