Continuing to send money

[charisco]

Either way, I stand by what I wrote. Appalling behavior all around.

Well, I can be man enough to say that I may have been somewhat out of line for some of the comments that I mad, and I ask that if I offended any of you that you accept my apology.

I am simply wanting to find out what my son-in-law should do in this situation.

My wife and I have never been in a a child support case as we have been together for 19 years and have 3 children together. So, I was only reaching out on behalf of someone to get some good advice to take back to him. He is beside himself as he is constantly harassed by his daughter's family who has even went so far as to state that they both better watch themselves or something bad is going to happen, etc. My daughter just suffered a miscarriage a couple of weeks ago and no this woman states that she does not want her daughter to be around my daughter since there is something obviously wrong if she had a miscarriage. This young man loves his daughter and wants to do what is right, but we have seen others who have taken proof into court that they sent money the the custodial parent be told that they still owe back child support due to a court order never being on record.

 

[Silverplum]

LOL... I wish we could have seen the OP stomp his feet and pout when you called him a woman

Frankly, I can only hope HE did.

 

[Silverplum]

Well, I can be man enough to say that I may have been somewhat out of line for some of the comments that I mad, and I ask that if I offended any of you that you accept my apology.

I will happily take that.

We are about the CHILDREN here on FA. To suddenly stop sending the mother (or any custodial parent, male or female, I don't care) the established child support money is NOT about the CHILD.

I am simply wanting to find out what my son-in-law should do in this situation.

That's up to HIM.

He's the father. He's been sending money to help support his child. Why should that change, just because he married your daughter?

My wife and I have never been in a a child support case as we have been together for 19 years and have 3 children together.

So your daughter is quite young.

So, I was only reaching out on behalf of someone to get some good advice to take back to him. He is beside himself as he is constantly harassed by his daughter's family who has even went so far as to state that they both better watch themselves or something bad is going to happen, etc.

It doesn't matter what anyone says. What matters is that he go to court and get set orders that everyone can follow.

My daughter just suffered a miscarriage a couple of weeks ago and no this woman states that she does not want her daughter to be around my daughter since there is something obviously wrong if she had a miscarriage.

That's nuts. Your daughter and SIL should ignore crazy people the best they can.

This young man loves his daughter and wants to do what is right, but we have seen others who have taken proof into court that they sent money the the custodial parent be told that they still owe back child support due to a court order never being on record.

Perhaps. Perhaps not.

A lot will depend upon the excellence of his payment and banking records.

 

[charisco]

We are about the CHILDREN here on FA. To suddenly stop sending the mother (or any custodial parent, male or female, I don't care) the established child support money is NOT about the CHILD.

I agree with that. He has been doing all that he can, sending upwards of 50% of his check on some occasions.

That's up to HIM.

He's the father. He's been sending money to help support his child. Why should that change, just because he married your daughter?

I am not saying that at all!! He should support his child!! There are way too many men who don't.

So your daughter is quite young.

Yes, she is 18.

That's nuts. Your daughter and SIL should ignore crazy people the best they can.

I agree, yet the only time mother of his daughter wants to talk to them is right before payday to make sure that they are going to be sending her at least 1/3 of his paycheck. And if he asks to see his daughter she acts like it is not important for the child to have her father in her life. It make is hard for them to simply ignore them when if they don't answer then they call his brother or mother and complain about what is or is not being done.

Perhaps. Perhaps not.

A lot will depend upon the excellence of his payment and banking records.

Well, he has consistently been sending money orders, yet has not had a bank account opened very long.

 

[Zigner]

I agree with that. He has been doing all that he can, sending upwards of 50% of his check on some occasions.



I am not saying that at all!! He should support his child!! There are way too many men who don't.



Yes, she is 18.



I agree, yet the only time mother of his daughter wants to talk to them is right before payday to make sure that they are going to be sending her at least 1/3 of his paycheck. And if he asks to see his daughter she acts like it is not important for the child to have her father in her life. It make is hard for them to simply ignore them when if they don't answer then they call his brother or mother and complain about what is or is not being done.

So, he hasn't bothered asserting his rights (and, by extension, the rights of his child)

Well, he has consistently been sending money orders, yet has not had a bank account opened very long.

That is really not good. Money-order stubs don't prove that money was sent.

 

[charisco]

So, he hasn't bothered asserting his rights (and, by extension, the rights of his child)

When they split up it was simply a verbal agreement that he would send her money and he would be able to see his daughter. Once he and my daughter got together, she changed her mind and he has only seen his daughter twice in the past 10 months.

That is really not good. Money-order stubs don't prove that money was sent.

He is currently unable to get a checking account and was told by Western Union that they could track all the money orders/wired money and if they were in fact cashed/picked up, etc.

 

[Zigner]

When they split up it was simply a verbal agreement that he would send her money and he would be able to see his daughter. Once he and my daughter got together, she changed her mind and he has only seen his daughter twice in the past 10 months.

As I said, he has not seen fit to assert his, or by extension, his child's rights. No matter how you attempt to explain it away, that is the fact of the matter.

He is currently unable to get a checking account and was told by Western Union that they could track all the money orders/wired money and if they were in fact cashed/picked up, etc.

Good luck.

 

[happybug]

Sir, you are WAY to involved in the nuts and bolts of your adult daughter's marriage. She and her husband are adults and they can handle their business without your input. I understand you are a parent and it is your desire to "help". You need to find a way to step back or you will soon be back here for advice regarding your daughter's divorce.

 

[stealth2]

He is currently unable to get a checking account and was told by Western Union that they could track all the money orders/wired money and if they were in fact cashed/picked up, etc.

All it means is that they can confirm that your SIL gifted his ex money. It's not considered CS, necessarily.

 

[ecmst12]

If dad wants to see his child, he needs to file for a court ordered visitation schedule. Without that, he's probably not even legally the father and even if he is, mom has no legal obligation to allow him to visit. He needs to man up and do what needs to be done.

 

[CJane]

Heh. Father in law. I was all WHAT???? How can you NOT be MIL? Guess I don't picture men being so nosy most of the time.

 

[CJane]

Wow dude.

Your daughter married a guy who has such bad credit that he can't get a checking account.

He's going to be paying 20% of his income in child support.

He only brings home $300 every 2 weeks, according to you.

Please at least tell me that there's not another baby on the way. Please?

 

[charisco]

As I said, he has not seen fit to assert his, or by extension, his child's rights. No matter how you attempt to explain it away, that is the fact of the matter.

I am NOT trying to attempt to explain anything away. He dropped the ball on this one and figured he could take her at her word, bad mistake!

 

[charisco]

Sir, you are WAY to involved in the nuts and bolts of your adult daughter's marriage. She and her husband are adults and they can handle their business without your input. I understand you are a parent and it is your desire to "help". You need to find a way to step back or you will soon be back here for advice regarding your daughter's divorce.

As I have stated before in this thread, I am trying to help them due to them not having a computer currently. Sorry that so many people take offense to someone trying to get advice for a young couple.

 

[charisco]

If dad wants to see his child, he needs to file for a court ordered visitation schedule. Without that, he's probably not even legally the father and even if he is, mom has no legal obligation to allow him to visit. He needs to man up and do what needs to be done.

And that is exactly what he is trying to do currently.