Court happy ex

[TLG116]

Court happy ex - please help us stop it

We are from Ohio, and my fiance's ex won't leave us alone! They have been divorced since 1997, and she takes him back to court every three months for more money. She hasn't allowed him to see his daughter in 4 years, but he still pays the support. She has a very good job, but as soon as buy anything she takes him back to court stating that if he can buy it, he can pay more support. We just bought some land, and sure enough here came the court papers. We want to build our home and get married, but are afraid she may be able to come after our assets. What can we do to stop her from constantly doing this?

 

[stepmomma]

do you have an agreement specifing visitation? if you do, and she is denying it, take the agreement, take a friend (or a police officer, as a witness) and a small tape recorder. go and try to pick up the kids, record the conversation and reference the agreement if she denies you. if she still denies you, you have something to take HER to court with.
as far as her taking you to court every few months, you need to have a clause in the agreement stating that the party that attempts to modify will have to pay all legal fees for the other party, regardless of reason for modification (this does not include enforcement). have a separate clause for enforcement, stating that if one party brings the other party to court for enforcement, the party who is subsequently forced to comply will pay all legal fees.
these 2 together should deter her from running to court.
she also needs to show a material change in circumstances in order to modify an exisiting agreement...you buying land or building a house should not be considered a material change, although that can depend on the judge.
also, just because the two of you buy something, that cannot change the amount of support, the amount of support (depending on state) is based on the amount of money he makes and/or the amount she makes and/or the expenses she incures because of the child (to include utilites, etc)
best of luck!

 

[LegalBeagle]

Re: Court happy ex - please help us stop it

We are from Ohio, and my fiance's ex won't leave us alone! They have been divorced since 1997, and she takes him back to court every three months for more money. She hasn't allowed him to see his daughter in 4 years, but he still pays the support. She has a very good job, but as soon as buy anything she takes him back to court stating that if he can buy it, he can pay more support. We just bought some land, and sure enough here came the court papers. We want to build our home and get married, but are afraid she may be able to come after our assets. What can we do to stop her from constantly doing this?

What I do not understand is.. if he is back in court every 3 months, then why is he not filing contempt petitions for denying visitation?

 

[CMSC]

I have a slight problem with your post, most states do not allow you to go to court every few months to modify support orders just because someone builds a house, there has to be significant increase or decrease in income. She can't come after your assets if you are keeping current with your child support and if she hasn't let you see the child in 4 years but yet she knows where you are and you see her in court then why in the hell aren't you doing anything about filing contempt charges??
One thing you forgot to mention is whether or not her motions to modify have been honored? If child support has not been raised then like stepmomma stated make sure she is responsible for the modification fees and eventually when there is a real reason for her to modify she will have screwed herself because no one is going to believe someone who cries wolf every 3 months!!
Good luck! Get married and build your house don't let her win!

 

[TLG116]

Re: Re: Court happy ex - please help us stop it

What I do not understand is.. if he is back in court every 3 months, then why is he not filing contempt petitions for denying visitation?

She had it drawn up in the original divorce papers that he could not force his daughter to go for visitation at any time. She was able to convince her at the age of 10 that because my children and I moved in with him, he had "chosen us" over her. At the young age of 10, she believed her mother, told us she hated us, and he would never see her again.

 

[TLG116]

I have a slight problem with your post, most states do not allow you to go to court every few months to modify support orders just because someone builds a house, there has to be significant increase or decrease in income. She can't come after your assets if you are keeping current with your child support and if she hasn't let you see the child in 4 years but yet she knows where you are and you see her in court then why in the hell aren't you doing anything about filing contempt charges??
One thing you forgot to mention is whether or not her motions to modify have been honored? If child support has not been raised then like stepmomma stated make sure she is responsible for the modification fees and eventually when there is a real reason for her to modify she will have screwed herself because no one is going to believe someone who cries wolf every 3 months!!
Good luck! Get married and build your house don't let her win!

He is self employed, therefore she says we are "hiding" income. We have shown the courts all documentation they have asked for, and yes they have continued to raise his support. He has also had to pay for all of her attorney fees and court costs since this started. We bought a Harley Davidson a couple of years ago, and the courts did make him sell it and raised his support again. We have proven our case, showed the incoming and outgoing income, but always turns out the same. They have never made her show her income, she has a very good job and has been there for 13 years.

 

[CMSC]

I would suggest that your court system is really screwed up! Your husband should have never signed papers stating he couldn't "force" his daughter to see him, if he has legal visitation then the courts should be enforcing that. How did the court make him sell his Harley?? A support order is supposed to be based of both incomes why was hers never brought forth? What was child support set at and how much has it increased?
I would suggest that you get a really good attorney and maybe spend what you were going to use on a house to take ex to court and fight for this child!

 

[TLG116]

I would suggest that your court system is really screwed up! Your husband should have never signed papers stating he couldn't "force" his daughter to see him, if he has legal visitation then the courts should be enforcing that. How did the court make him sell his Harley?? A support order is supposed to be based of both incomes why was hers never brought forth? What was child support set at and how much has it increased?
I would suggest that you get a really good attorney and maybe spend what you were going to use on a house to take ex to court and fight for this child!

We know this system is screwed up! He and his daughter were always inseperable, and she and I had no problems for the first two years we lived together. Then after one of her weekends with her mother, she suddenly didn't want anything to do with either of us. We never imagined she would be able to turn his daughter against him. The courts said if he could afford a Harley, he had to be making more money than he was showing. In the original divorce papers she lied about her income, I have found their tax returns from the year before the divorce to prove that. Since then, when they modify his support, they have never once made her show her current income. I don't understand why. The support started at $200/month and is now over $500/month. He hasn't gotten an attorney in two years. Again, they said if he could afford to pay for an attorney to fight supporting his child, he could afford to pay her more money. He has never not supported his daughter, she has always been well taken care of.

 

[CMSC]

what does your visitation order say other than the really crappy statement about not "forcing" the daughter to visit? If his support is going to be raised anyway then why not hire an attorney? I dont' think that you should fight the support thing as much as I think you should fight the visitation or denial of.

 

[TLG116]

His visitation was set up for every other weekend, Tues. & Wed. after school (because of something with his ex's job she could not be home then) and the standard holiday schedule. While they were seperated, before the divorce was final, he had to fight for visitation then. She had a provision put in the papers that his visitation would be stopped if he had his daughter around his girlfriend, and actually had my name in the papers! My fiance and I have known eachother since 1989 and were always the best of friends. I had always been around his daughter. However, his ex was able to convince her that he "doesn't love her anymore, and that we have taken her place". She is now 14 yrs old, we are afraid we would only make things worse by forcing her to visit us.

 

[haiku]

this is ridiculous..........

if your fiance is serious, he needs a LAWYER, plain and simple.

My husband is self employed also, but no ones ever treated him this way, and I cant believe a judge would ever say you can pay more because you hired a lawyer? that is bizarre.... You NEED to be prepared for court especially if self employed and only a lawyer can give you that credibility. I also highly reccomend as a self employed person you have all your tax returns and forms and figures looked over and signed on for court, by a reputable accountant. Your 1099's, tax returns, and most important, A profit and loss statement. if you are not showing them enough credible info, but show alot of assetts, this may be where you are hurting yourself greatly. self employed people need good lawyer and accounatant to protect themselves.

he needs to take her for contempt, for denial of visitation, and motion to modify to get rid of that incredibly stupid visitation agreement.

he needs to ask for joint legal custody, standard visitation, say every other weekend alternate holidays, and summer vacation time. DO NOT AGREE TO ANYTHING INVOLVING RESTRICTIONS ON S/O'S! And yes itwill take time for him to repair damamge done to thier relationship.

Also have your lawyer add that the party that brings the action pays the court fees if they lose for any action brought in the future.

If you want her to show her financials have your lawyer supoena her workplace and request HER tax returns. they will do it.

 

[TLG116]

Thanks to all for the advice you have given. I know this seems unreal that the courts would allow this to continue, but they have. We had hoped that if we just "ignored" her, she would get tired of trying to get under our skin. Obviously, that's not going to happen. The saddest part of all of this is what she has done to her own daughter. Although, it really doesn't surprise me. She started this "game" long ago, by not telling her when her father called, not being there when we went to get her, and filling her head with lies. One of her favorites was to tell her he was comeing to pick her up on his "off" days. She would get very excited, get all dressed up to see her dad, and then sit and wait for him all night. Of course he didn't show up, because he knew nothing about it. I just wish his ex would find a way to get on with her life. We are trying to, but she is really putting a lot of stress on our relationship. I just hope we can hold on for another 4 years, since she uses the support issue to continue to take him back, she won't have any reason after that.

 

[TLG116]

I do have another question for you all. Is there any way we would be able to file harassment charges against her? I know CSEA can request a review anually, but every few months is ridiculous!

 

[PoohBear8]

related exes...lol

i think your fiance's ex and my hubby's ex must be related. we've gone through the same crap with the support issue. cse said since he was working for his family they must be giving him extra money on the side...not. but when we took pictures of her doing her paper route, she lied and said it was her brother's and had it put in his name so she wouldn't have any income to show. she, too, would petition for an increase every few months, and get the increase, even though he made no more money than before. to get the court date, all she told them was that she needed more money for the children, no reason, and they gave her a court date. she also did the same thing about us buying things. we bought a sofa and love seat because when you sat on the ones we had, you nearly broke your butt because of the boards holding it together. they actually asked my husband if he had bought furniture, when, why, and for how much? we were robbing peter to pay paul and he told them that when they asked how he could pay his bills when they were more than his income. he told them the truth--borrow off the credit companies. but of course, they didn't ask his ex anything. when his attorney tried to bring up imputing income for her, they said she had to stay home to raise 2 small children so there would be no income assigned to her. cse is such a joke. you'll never guess what stopped his support from continuously going up and her being given an imputed income.....she got pregnant by another guy and showed up in court months pregnant. isn't it amazing that when she had 2 kids to raise they said she couldn't work, but when she got pregnant by someone else, she could. go figure.
enough for now about cs. about the custody...check out this site regarding parental alienation:
http://www.parentalalienation.com/ohiolaws.html
i found it through a site you would probably find quite helpful:
http://www.dads4kids.com/
good luck

 

[bambi66]

can you ask for a change of venue or judge? my x thought the judge was against him so he requested a change of venue of the judge. we then got a female judge from another county.