Custody?? Should I worry??

[LdiJ]

Absolutely nowhere in the OP's post is any mention of domestic violence.

I was not talking about the OP in the instance. I was talking about T74's advice.

 

[Flclovesun]

She should have filed for contempt and garnishment; she must have her reasons for not doing so. It may have resulted in a recalculation reducing his support since there are still many people with job problems resulting in financial issues. If they do not communicate well, she is unlikely to know what is going on.

There are two sides to every story with the truth somewhere in between. I am very skeptical when a poster is perfect and the other parent is horrible. There may be rational explanations to behavior concerns. IMO, OP is aggrevating the problems rather than solving the; she needs to spend time reflecting on what she could do differently to prevent problems. Even if he is a jerk, she picked him and has to deal with it.

“She needs to spend time reflecting on what she could do differently to prevent problems.”
This is the child custody version of “maybe if she wasn’t wearing such a short skirt!” She is not responsible for his poor choices- even if she did “pick him.” She’s responsible for protecting thier shared children by asking legal advice and fighting this in court.

 

[Ohiogal]

I was not talking about the OP in the instance. I was talking about T74's advice.

While you have pointed out T74's alleged bias, you really need to admit your own about being biased towards mothers. You have NEVER done that but want to be a hypocrite continuously about it.

OP, listen to others that have posted rather than LD. She is mom-centric and biased.

 

[t74]

Gee, I take a nap and answer email and things blow up.

It is easier to avoid a problem than to try to fix the result. Having CS paid through the state agency from the start is a way to avoid a problem. Going for contempt after the fact is simply the beginning to a more hostile relationship. It is easier to maintain a cordial relationship and an open line of communication than to rebuild it once it has broken down. In this case, one of the parents needs to act like a grownup and work to build a cooperative rather than adversarial relationship. I do not see OP as being willing to do so in spite of her assertions. There are just too many digs at dad.

I admit to being biased in two situations

1. against parents (mothers or fathers) who use the legal system with false accusations to keep the other parent from custody and visitation

2. the "perfect" parent who demeans the other and expects to control what occurs during the other parent's custodial period

I believe few parents deliberately try to hurt their own child. The may have different parenting styles and levels of risk in what they permit their children to do. In reality, the "right" thing is likely somewhere in the middle, but when they do not communicate or cooperate, they never come to that point.

In my area news reports indicate that a child is more often harmed (including inflicting fatal injuries) by the short term live-in BF of the CP mother. OP needs to remember this as she introduces her BFs into her home.

 

[stealth2]

Filing for a modification is not the same as filing for contempt.

Based solely on what OP has posted, I think there may be/have been a better way to handle the situation. But until she comes back and indicates a willingness to engage in dialogue? Posting is kinda pointless.

 

[PayrollHRGuy]

I was not talking about the OP in the instance. I was talking about T74's advice.

And T74 was responding to the OPs post. If you want to talk about an issue like domestic violence in general then go start a thread on it. Don't hijack a thread that has NOTHING to do with domestic violence.

 

[HRZ]

in the meantime health coverage does not grow on trees....just what is OP doing to make sure insurance as per order is in place ..or alternative coverage in place

 

[stealth2]

Since OP has not been back since posting, we may never know.