Do I have to send food and clothes with my child, when her father gets his visitation

[stealth2]

Stealth and your ex is a psychologist?

Nope - he's an eddicator! (misspelling intentional)

 

[kidoday]

Don't know where I got the psychologist part.

It has been a week of mix ups I guess.

 

[stealth2]

s'okay. He's whacko regardless!

 

[imxoz]

Oklahoma
My ex used to tell the children to bring their own shampos and pillows. We never did comply, that was plum wacko.

 

[LdiJ]

Got a cite for that?

The Indiana Parenting Time Guidelines require the CP to provide clothing...here is a link


http://www.in.gov/judiciary/rules/parenting/

I am not sure how many other states (if any) may have those types of requirements. Since the IN Supreme court developed those guidelines they are basically "default" for most arrangements...even when the "time" doesn't agree.

 

[stealth2]

The Indiana Parenting Time Guidelines require the CP to provide clothing...here is a link


http://www.in.gov/judiciary/rules/parenting/

I am not sure how many other states (if any) may have those types of requirements. Since the IN Supreme court developed those guidelines they are basically "default" for most arrangements...even when the "time" doesn't agree.

Well, OP's not in IN. And NY doesn't have that requirement, AFAIK.

 

[SWalker1]

Thanks for the responses they have are very helpful. Here is a little background. I just recently got a child support order on my daughter father, so now he pays child support on a regular basis ( because they are taking it from his paycheck) But every time I send our daughter to see him I have to pack everything for her from food, to clothes, diapers, blankets etc. If she runs out of something while there, he expects me to pay him back whatever he spent. Also like everyone has stated, he never brings everything back and I end up having to replace it and when I finally do get it back, the condition is so bad I do not want to use it again. All this time I was doing it because I thought since he was paying child support that I had too, but I have learned that I do not. He is going to be in for a surprise this weekend when he comes to pick her up( I'm not trying to be spiteful, I tried calling him so that he could prepare but his phone has been diconnected)

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Thanks for the responses they have are very helpful. Here is a little background. I just recently got a child support order on my daughter father, so now he pays child support on a regular basis ( because they are taking it from his paycheck) But every time I send our daughter to see him I have to pack everything for her from food, to clothes, diapers, blankets etc. If she runs out of something while there, he expects me to pay him back whatever he spent. Also like everyone has stated, he never brings everything back and I end up having to replace it and when I finally do get it back, the condition is so bad I do not want to use it again. All this time I was doing it because I thought since he was paying child support that I had too, but I have learned that I do not. He is going to be in for a surprise this weekend when he comes to pick her up( I'm not trying to be spiteful, I tried calling him so that he could prepare but his phone has been diconnected)

If your child is so young as to require diapers then sending "baby food" and diapers, may be a matter of practical convenience as opposed to an older child who may be able to eat what everyone else does and assures you that your child gets what they need for their general health and safety. Is it possible that you ex cannot afford to feed and care for your child and that is why he wants you to provide food etc? expecially since his phone is disconnected? Do you plan on sending your child to stay when there is no way to contact in an emergency, or is this a number change and not disconected, it sounds like that may be an issue to check out or have more clearly covered in the visitation order.

 

[haiku]

If your child is so young as to require diapers then sending "baby food" and diapers, may be a matter of practical convenience as opposed to an older child who may be able to eat what everyone else does and assures you that your child gets what they need for their general health and safety. Is it possible that you ex cannot afford to feed and care for your child and that is why he wants you to provide food etc? expecially since his phone is disconnected? Do you plan on sending your child to stay when there is no way to contact in an emergency, or is this a number change and not disconected, it sounds like that may be an issue to check out or have more clearly covered in the visitation order.

honestly, Just send diapers and if its a baby who is still eating baby food, just send it. You want baby to be comfortable, and to me, why split hairs, if you were sending baby to a friends or grandma's you may likely be packing that stuff anyway, right?

The phone is a small issue, After all if SHE has an emergency, the baby is already in "good hands" until said emergency is over, right?And if this is court ordered visitation, whether or not dad has a phone, is not reason to be charged with contempt of court for denial of visitation.

 

[SWalker1]

She does still wear diapers, but is no longer on baby food. She pretty much eats what everyone else eats as long as you smash it up,-she only has six teeth . I would feel sorry for him that his phone is temporarly disconnected but this is a normal occurance with him it always get turmed off because he does not know how to bugget his money. He has a good job and lives with his grandmother, so he really does not have to pay rent. Although he just went out and brought a new sports car, but can't pay half of daycare. I not trying to sound bitter, but he grew up very wealthy and he fights me on every little dime that's needed to take care of our daughter

 

[SWalker1]

I understand your point hauki, but I am not sending her with a friend or grandparent I sending her with her father, who is taking me to court for custody because he no longer wants to pay child support. He figures he has custody then I will have to pay him. I am always going to make sure oru daughter is provided for, but there has to be a time when he steps up and he is not going to so that unless he is forced to.

 

[SWalker1]

sorry I misspelled your name

 

[rmet4nzkx]

She does still wear diapers, but is no longer on baby food. She pretty much eats what everyone else eats as long as you smash it up,-she only has six teeth . I would feel sorry for him that his phone is temporarly disconnected but this is a normal occurance with him it always get turmed off because he does not know how to bugget his money. He has a good job and lives with his grandmother, so he really does not have to pay rent. Although he just went out and brought a new sports car, but can't pay half of daycare. I not trying to sound bitter, but he grew up very wealthy and he fights me on every little dime that's needed to take care of our daughter

Keep track of everything for court and use that as an opportunity to show his true colors and seek further modifications such as spelling out specific language about communications, food and paying for half the child care expense, then he will think twice before asking for custody to avoid paying child support, especially when he doesn't live independently. If his phone is turned off because he cannot pay the bill then that will show how he manages his money, if he cannot afford to help with child care costs but afford a new sports car, that says somehting also, but don't split hairs about food and diapers. Send your child with what she needs and don't pay for anything he charges you for what he spent, thank him for the extra gift

 

[Kevmar44]

Got a cite for that?

I don't know if there is a site for it or not but in Ohio it is called Rule 19. It is just basic guidelines that both parents are (supposed) to follow concerning visitation, transportation, holidays...stuff like that. I don't have my paperwork with me but I know it states that until the child reaches a certain age the CP is "supposed" to send clothes while the child is at the NCP's.

 

[Naturalmom]

NJ I send clothes for the weekend in a backpack socks underware etc. My daughter is ot permitted to use anything and it remains lock in car the enitre time while she is there (Child is 5) right down to halloween costume . Everything that comes from home is "your mothers things" so not allowed to use so my daughter has gotten smarter and in order to have her favorite dolls she carries them in her arms out to the car so she knows she stands a chance to use them while not home. While nothing is ever offered or allowed to travel out of his house ever....... I continue to send clothes and one day she will be stong enough to tell her father and SM that she WANTS HER THINGS...... stop hidding them or locking them away. She is getting stronger as the time goes on.