Yes, paternity has been established. There is no question who the child belongs to. We have had no tests, but it is so obvious that he belongs to my son. It's almost a clone. The mother even remarks how much he looks like him, she has never questioned or doubted that. Is a paternity test necessary?
-
FreeAdvice has a new Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, effective May 25, 2018.
By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our Terms of Service and use of cookies.
Enforcing Visitation
- Thread starter iicummins
- Start date
Accident - Bankruptcy - Criminal Law / DUI - Business - Consumer - Employment - Family - Immigration - Real Estate - Tax - Traffic - Wills Please click a topic or scroll down for more.
LdiJ
Senior Member
iicummins said:
What she means is has paternity been LEGALLY established? Unless he signed an affidavit of paternity when the child was born, or did a court ordered DNA test afterwards then paternity may not LEGALLY be established. That would have to be done before he could proceed with getting visitation/custody orders.
You may have no question that the child is his but the court doesn't go by a child's rememblence to a putative father. She may just be the type that gets offended at the idea of a DNA test (many women do)....however if there are other family members who could have passed along those same family "traits"....its not out of line to question why she would be opposed to a DNA test.
Enforced Visitation
This has never been brought up or a question. He is the father on the birth certificate. We have a birth certificate. I don't know if that matters-- I'm confused here--- His paternity has never been questioned. I don't think that will even come up. What are you telling me?????
This has never been brought up or a question. He is the father on the birth certificate. We have a birth certificate. I don't know if that matters-- I'm confused here--- His paternity has never been questioned. I don't think that will even come up. What are you telling me?????
LdiJ
Senior Member
iicummins said:
I only questioned it because of his incarceration....that maybe he wasn't around to sign the BC and the affidavit of paternity. It sounds like he was...so its probably not an issue.
Many people tend to be extra cautious on the issue of paternity...simply because so many dads believe they are dads and later out find out they they aren't (at least biologically)...so they tend to believe that a DNA test is always in order in an unwed situation.
In fact, judges in my state routinely order DNA testing in unwed situations...even IF the father signed the BC and an affidavit of paternity....again, just an extra level of caution.
iicummins said:
Relax, in MS the father and mother have to sign the acknowledgement of paternity in order to get the fathers name on the BC. So yes, paternity has been legally established. Now tell your son to get himself an attorney and file for visitation/custody ASAP. Be sure the attorney gets all the receipts of payments and documentation you and your son have available.
EDIT: Back to the original question. If a visitation order is sign by a judge and the mother violates it, your son can file contempt. Try not to worry about that, there is too much between the "now" and "then".
Last edited:
Enforced Visitation
They were married. All this happened after the wreck. He did not go to trial for 2 1/2 years!! Had a home, a job, happy, everything was fine. She was FULLY aware of the situation and knew that it was a possiblility that he could go to prison. And then the trial came at the exact time she found out she was pregnant. She wanted to abort the child, but my son wanted this child so bad and talked her out of it. Infact, she lived with me the first 4 months of the childs life. Of course, she got tired of that and moved back to her home town. I understood this. I went every other weekend (4 hours away) to keep the children so she could go out or whatever. I even knew when she started going with her present husband---but, I knew the marriage wasn't going to last-- I mean really-- she wasn't going to wait 4 years!!! Anyway, that's history.
We have a lawyer and a court date. I have tried to emphasize to my son that we may need to provide proof that I have not let the child or the mother suffer because of his absence, but, the lawyer seems to think this is going to be a piece of cake and I am so afraid that the mother is coming to represent herself and I cannot imagine what is going to happen. She has already told me she is going to make this as 'nasty' as she can. WE are not trying for custody, we just want to have visitation.
I sent the money to my son to hire this lawyer. I emailed the lawyer to tell them the changes that HAD to be made on this visitation schedule to satisfy the mother and they told me my son could only make the changes because he was 'the client'. He made the changes. This lawyer has no idea of what has gone on in the last 5 years and my son thinks that it does not matter because the lawyer tells him 'this is just the basic visitation schedule' and he will have no problem. I am NOT spending thousands of dollars just to get the 'basic' visitation schedule for a father. I have already spent thousands just to make sure the child and the mother were okay in his absence----What do I need to do or take to this court date to show the judge or the lawyer that we are only wanting visitation, and the child, nor the mother, has suffered during his absence??? Is this necessary??? Does the lawyer know that we are going to have to have this and just wanting more attorney fees or what???
They were married. All this happened after the wreck. He did not go to trial for 2 1/2 years!! Had a home, a job, happy, everything was fine. She was FULLY aware of the situation and knew that it was a possiblility that he could go to prison. And then the trial came at the exact time she found out she was pregnant. She wanted to abort the child, but my son wanted this child so bad and talked her out of it. Infact, she lived with me the first 4 months of the childs life. Of course, she got tired of that and moved back to her home town. I understood this. I went every other weekend (4 hours away) to keep the children so she could go out or whatever. I even knew when she started going with her present husband---but, I knew the marriage wasn't going to last-- I mean really-- she wasn't going to wait 4 years!!! Anyway, that's history.
We have a lawyer and a court date. I have tried to emphasize to my son that we may need to provide proof that I have not let the child or the mother suffer because of his absence, but, the lawyer seems to think this is going to be a piece of cake and I am so afraid that the mother is coming to represent herself and I cannot imagine what is going to happen. She has already told me she is going to make this as 'nasty' as she can. WE are not trying for custody, we just want to have visitation.
I sent the money to my son to hire this lawyer. I emailed the lawyer to tell them the changes that HAD to be made on this visitation schedule to satisfy the mother and they told me my son could only make the changes because he was 'the client'. He made the changes. This lawyer has no idea of what has gone on in the last 5 years and my son thinks that it does not matter because the lawyer tells him 'this is just the basic visitation schedule' and he will have no problem. I am NOT spending thousands of dollars just to get the 'basic' visitation schedule for a father. I have already spent thousands just to make sure the child and the mother were okay in his absence----What do I need to do or take to this court date to show the judge or the lawyer that we are only wanting visitation, and the child, nor the mother, has suffered during his absence??? Is this necessary??? Does the lawyer know that we are going to have to have this and just wanting more attorney fees or what???
M
Missychelle26
Guest
Ok I know I am not a senior member or whatever but this poster keeps saying what can I do? She can't do anything right? I mean I think when they go to court she wont be able to keep her mouth shut and let her son prove his case? Isn't that going to look worse for the father? If the father wants to see his kid so much shouldnt HE be the one to be coming up with the money for the attorney? I think that this nosy controlling grandma is going to do more damage than good to her sons case. If she was such a loving grandma she would have tried to do something to keep her grandchild safe. My ex in laws adore me but I can promise you if the thought that I was hurting my children or allowing someone else to they would step in and make sure my kids were taken out of that situation and I couldnt have any respect for them if I didnt think they didnt! Turning a blind eye to abuse isnt love just asking questions isnt love. Protecting an innocent child is love. This poster is more concerned with keeping this child in HER life than she is in protecting this child.
T
tigger2two
Guest
no this grandmother isn't going to be more harm than good. A judge doesn't give a dam who paid for the attorney. If you think it would look bad on him for his mom paying his attorney. Exactly what do you think it will look like for the mother. Considering that the grandma has paid alot if not most of her bills for going on 5 years??? Come on now....when she said she didn't report to CPS she has a point at why. In most cases CPS is so busy that they do nothing and children are completely denied visitation with whom ever the parent believes contacted CPS. Was she right in not reporting it NO, not by any means. Does that mean she doesn't love her grandson? NO WAY. Just a case of bad judgement.
Back off and continue to read legal advice don't give moral advice!!! Your statements were just down right RUDE and UNUSEFUL.
Back off and continue to read legal advice don't give moral advice!!! Your statements were just down right RUDE and UNUSEFUL.
M
Missychelle26
Guest
Actually what I said was not rude. And I didnt say it would look bad that she paid for her sons lawyer what I said was I didnt think she could keep her mouth shut in court and that would look bad. What I meant by her paying for her sons lawyer was if her son was so concerned about getting his child he would be trying to do all of this himself. And Im sorry I disagree with you sitting by and letting a child get abused ( hitting them with a broomstick and thumping them hard on the head sure as heck seems like abuse in my book) is not love! That is not moral advice that is common sense! CPS may be busy but if she made it a point to take photographs and write down every time it happened and reported it then even a busy CPS office would have taken notice. And she is using all these arguments against the mother yet she sat by and did nothing to stop this from happening if you know this is going on and do nothing to stop it you are as bad as the one who does it!
T
tigger2two
Guest
Like i said....was she right not to report it? NO. but you can't sit there and judge her and say she doesn't love this child bc she made a bad choice. Parents and grandparents make bad choices all the time. That doesn't mean they don't love the children involved. It just means that they don't always think things through clearly. And it isn't going to look bad on this man at all. His mother took care of what was his family while he was absent. His mother will be a very important witness for the simple fact that she has been an active person in this childs life since birth.
And from experience even if you have pictures and witnesses. Cps doesn't always find that its enough to actually do anything to the person responsible. We filed a report on someone in our immediate family for always being drunk and actually had her on tape dropping her child bc she was so drunk. And CPS did nothing. Said it was a one time incident. Even though we all made statements to them that she is a daily drinker and her children suffer daily from her abuse of alcohol. Nothing at all was done. Like i said already she should have reported it. I don't agree at all with her not doing so. But that still doesn't mean she doesn't love her grandchild.
And from experience even if you have pictures and witnesses. Cps doesn't always find that its enough to actually do anything to the person responsible. We filed a report on someone in our immediate family for always being drunk and actually had her on tape dropping her child bc she was so drunk. And CPS did nothing. Said it was a one time incident. Even though we all made statements to them that she is a daily drinker and her children suffer daily from her abuse of alcohol. Nothing at all was done. Like i said already she should have reported it. I don't agree at all with her not doing so. But that still doesn't mean she doesn't love her grandchild.
iicummins said:
First of all STOP with the "we", there is no "we" in this situation. This is between your son, his attorney, and the mother. You are not the client therefore you cannot make demands of his attorney (like "no basic visitation"), if you don't like it, tough! Your son is the one who should be finding out what he needs to bring to court. I've packed my tahoe all the way up with various types of documentation, so I had everything available for me at court - this definitely worked to my advantage.
On a side note about CPS. I do agree CPS should have been notified, but in the event the case had come back "unfounded" (which often happens especially when there is a current proceeding in court) that would have only helped the mother's case.
LdiJ
Senior Member
I also agree that its necessary to forget the "we" in this situation. I understand that you are trying to help your son, however interfering grandparents and/or new spouses tend to irritate attorneys, judges, gals etc.
Your statement "I am not paying thousands of dollars to get basic visitation" makes it appear that you feel you control the situation. The attorney already gave you a hint to back off when he wouldn't let YOU make changes to the paperwork and reminded you that you weren't the client. Heed that hint.
There is nothing wrong with you providing you son the funds to do this. Its totally understandable in the circumstances. Parents do this for their adult kids all the time.
It was admirable that you did everything you could to help the mother while he was away. However even if you hadn't, he would still be able to get visitation. Please don't worry about having to "prove" anything about that unless she tries to ask for back child support. I am not entirely sure though that he is going to be starting out with standard (basic) visitation. A judge may require that he work his way up to it.
Your statement "I am not paying thousands of dollars to get basic visitation" makes it appear that you feel you control the situation. The attorney already gave you a hint to back off when he wouldn't let YOU make changes to the paperwork and reminded you that you weren't the client. Heed that hint.
There is nothing wrong with you providing you son the funds to do this. Its totally understandable in the circumstances. Parents do this for their adult kids all the time.
It was admirable that you did everything you could to help the mother while he was away. However even if you hadn't, he would still be able to get visitation. Please don't worry about having to "prove" anything about that unless she tries to ask for back child support. I am not entirely sure though that he is going to be starting out with standard (basic) visitation. A judge may require that he work his way up to it.
stealth2
Under the Radar Member
tigger2two said:no this grandmother isn't going to be more harm than good. A judge doesn't give a dam who paid for the attorney. If you think it would look bad on him for his mom paying his attorney. Exactly what do you think it will look like for the mother. Considering that the grandma has paid alot if not most of her bills for going on 5 years??? Come on now....when she said she didn't report to CPS she has a point at why. In most cases CPS is so busy that they do nothing and children are completely denied visitation with whom ever the parent believes contacted CPS. Was she right in not reporting it NO, not by any means. Does that mean she doesn't love her grandson? NO WAY. Just a case of bad judgement.
Back off and continue to read legal advice don't give moral advice!!! Your statements were just down right RUDE and UNUSEFUL.
Yours weren't much better. The judge isn't going to give a flying f*ck who provided the legal fees or how. What IS going to piss the judge (and Dad's attorney) off is if grandma insists on being a backseat driver. Regardless what she thinks, what she's done, how much she cares - SHE IS NOT A PARTY TO THIS SITUATION. She has absolutely NO business emailing the attorney and telling him what does or does not have to be done. All that's likely to come of that is the lawyer telling Dad that he's withdrawing from the case because grandma is a pain in the tuchus.