Enrolling a chld in school

[victmich]

What is the name of your state? Tx

Is a step-parent able to enroll a step-child in a new school all by themselves without a bio-parent present?

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

What is the name of your state? Tx

Is a step-parent able to enroll a step-child in a new school all by themselves without a bio-parent present?

My response:

Yes, if the stepparent LIES through her teeth.

IAAL

 

[Ramoth]

Or if the school district doesn't care. I enrolled both of my step-kids in their new schools when we moved, and made sure to list myself on all paperwork as the Step-Parent (even went so far as to create a box for that designation). Add in that the kids call me by my first name, and the school knew what was going on.

 

[victmich]

Well it's just that here we are again in the same situation as the beginning of the school year. They have moved AGAIN and my daughter is having to change schools AGAIN. The stepmom informed me that she intends on enrolling her. I asked if my ex was going with her and she said she didn't know for sure if he was or not. So I guess she gets to lie and pass herself off as mom like last time and then I have to follow her and straighten everything out. It just seems so stupid. I don't understand why some step-parents can't just be honest upfront and not overstep their boundaries. Fill out the enrollment forms correctly, have my ex sign them, put my name in the proper place, put my info on the forms....is it really that hard?

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

....is it really that hard?

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My response:

For some stepparents, it really is. They firmly believe that by virtue of their "love of child" and by virtue of their marriage, that they have rights to usurp someone else's child and life.

These are the people that are emotionally damaged, that have no emotional or mental boundaries because they were never taught those skills. They have no conceptual realization other than what they "feel". Usually, these are the high school drop-outs, who live in trailers.

IAAL

 

[VeronicaGia]

Well, on the flip side, what if the step parent wasn't willing to do it and neither bio-parents could do it because of work, sickness, etc.? It would be nice if all adults acted like adults, step parents can help out if necessary but not stick their noses in where it doesn't belong......believe me, it's not hard at all for me to keep my nose out of things. I rather like it that way. Not my kid, not my problem.

Utopia, I know...LOL!

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

Not my kid, not my problem.

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My response:

And that's only because you apparently received a proper upbringing from your parents - - knowing the difference between "right and wrong", and what's "yours" and what "belongs" to someone else.

Trailer Trash have no idea about these concepts.

IAAL

 

[skyy]

Acutally, some school areas and after-school activities request the stepparents fill their names in the parents' spots because we're the first contact. Even though I have a power of attorney, I rarely have to use it. I've enrolled my stepchildren in their schools (usually the only one available to do so), activities, signed for them to get their shots (2 days ago), etc. One school district had a place for natural NCP on the back of the registration form. On the front, there were boxes in which stepparent was an option to check.

This new school district had ONE form that had a place to sign the name of birth father, birth mother and other adult in the home. I was told by the school that since I am the resident mother in our home to put my name in the area of mother/legal guardian (and the same with the other military/afterschool activities). So, on the form it states child lives with father and stepparent. According to their forms and policies, I'm lying if I state I'm the birth/natural mother. I went out of my way to ask and offer the biomom's names and numbers (although I usually have to find where they're living and telephone numbers) and create spaces. What I'm seeing is that that organizations want the first lines of contact and who is in the area to get to the child, then emergency contacts since there are so many blended families and out-of-area parents that just don't care.

I don't know how they process it in their computers. They have one form that specifies who the natural/birth parents are, and the stepparents are expected to be listed under any other parent line. I also don't have to try to be their mother as they know their moms. They have their own relationship, and we have our own. Maybe I would stress being a stepparent more if biomom didn't have to be tracked down or she showed enough interest to, at least, talk to her child.

 

[victmich]

Skyy : Well fortunately or unfortunately for you (I'm not sure which) your situation is totally different than mine. I'm the NCmom who is trying to be involved in every aspect and am continually getting brushed aside because stepmom oversteps. All I'm asking for in this situation is that in the mom portion of the enrollment form my name and info is filled in there. Of course as far as emergency purposes goes she(stepmom)should be first contact because she is closer and does not work. All I would like is the new school to know that I exsist to begin with so that when I do show up at the school I don't have to hear things like "Oh we didn't know" or "Well we thought she was the mom" etc.

IAAL : In your opinion do you think that these step-parents know that they act this way or do you believe that they do this subconsciously?

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

IAAL : In your opinion do you think that these step-parents know that they act this way or do you believe that they do this subconsciously?

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My response:

No, they actually do it consciously. Like I said, they don't know their boundaries and actually believe that by virtue of their marriage, and the "emotional love" they have for the child, that this gives them "license", "permission", and some sort of "legal right" to usurp the parenting role.

What "Steps" don't realize, or refuse to come to grips with, is if they get divorced from the bio-parent, they leave the relationship without the child. So much for "legal right".

IAAL

 

[stealth2]

LOL I have to say that you reminded me of my kids' stepmom. After she'd known my kids for 6 months or so, she decided to snag me and give me her insights as to their psychological make-up and issues. I just stood there, bemused, thinking to myself "who the bloody f*ckin' hell do you think you are?"

 

[VeronicaGia]

Not my kid, not my problem.

=================================

My response:

And that's only because you apparently received a proper upbringing from your parents - - knowing the difference between "right and wrong", and what's "yours" and what "belongs" to someone else.

Trailer Trash have no idea about these concepts.

IAAL

Thank you darling! I do miss my parents and their wisdom very much.

 

[VeronicaGia]

LOL I have to say that you reminded me of my kids' stepmom. After she'd known my kids for 6 months or so, she decided to snag me and give me her insights as to their psychological make-up and issues. I just stood there, bemused, thinking to myself "who the bloody f*ckin' hell do you think you are?"

Oh, brother. I couldn't even imagine doing that to my best friend or one of my siblings much less the mother of my husband's child. Maybe some steps are trying to be friends that way, but I find it works better if I just stay out of it. We are neither friends nor enemies and there's no point trying to be either.

 

[stealth2]

Yep. I have nothing against the woman in all honesty. But my kids are well adjusted - and that's not just my opinion. Everyone they meet, from neighbors, teachers, coaches, etc. think they are awesome and well adjusted. So to have this relative stranger tell me that these kids have deeply rooted psychological issues... uuhh, no. Go along home, hon. Of course, these are also the kids whose father has told them that, based on one of them forgetting a stepsib's GBA game in the GBA that came home (one time), they are thieves who are not to be trusted and their bags will be searched every time before they are allowed to leave. Oooookay.

On the other hand.... that might introduce some psychological problems.

 

[victmich]

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My response:

No, they actually do it consciously. Like I said, they don't know their boundaries and actually believe that by virtue of their marriage, and the "emotional love" they have for the child, that this gives them "license", "permission", and some sort of "legal right" to usurp the parenting role.

What "Steps" don't realize, or refuse to come to grips with, is if they get divorced from the bio-parent, they leave the relationship without the child. So much for "legal right".

IAAL [/B]

That just totally burns me up!! I could see treating someone that way if they showed little interest in their child, put their child in danger, didn't pay their child support etc. .....but I do everything I'm supposed to do. I pay my support on time, I exercise all of my visitation, I attend all of her extracirricular activities(I even travel the distance to bring her to these activities on my weekends), I try to go to her school whenever possible(distance issue). I do as much as I can considering I have another child with me at my home 24/7(no bio-dad in the picture). NCP's(male or female)should not be treated in this manner when the situation is like this. Boy, I'd like to tell the step-mom in my situation where to go...