Ex wife asking payment

[Winsome]

Ex wife has primary and we have joint legal in Indiana. Got the final decree about a year ago. We have a hearing coming up in April for some violations on the court order by my ex, and also that she hasn't paid her share of some of the costs related to the children. Recently she sent me an email asking for my share of expenses incurred on extra curricular activities. Per the court order, we are supposed to share this equally. However, she has not provided the receipts. Out of 10 activities, she has attached one receipt by email but wants payment for all of them. Please advise how to respond to her? Thanks.

 

[LdiJ]

Ex wife has primary and we have joint legal in Indiana. Got the final decree about a year ago. We have a hearing coming up in April for some violations on the court order by my ex, and also that she hasn't paid her share of some of the costs related to the children. Recently she sent me an email asking for my share of expenses incurred on extra curricular activities. Per the court order, we are supposed to share this equally. However, she has not provided the receipts. Out of 10 activities, she has attached one receipt by email but wants payment for all of them. Please advise how to respond to her? Thanks.

Are these things that are likely valid, or likely not? You are about to go to court, which includes apparently a claim from you that she has not paid her share of some of the costs related to the children. If she can demonstrate that you are potentially guilty of the same thing, then it complicates your arguments.

I am not suggesting that you cave in and pay for something that is not valid, but you do want to make sure that the court views you as the reasonable one.

 

[Ohiogal]

Ex wife has primary and we have joint legal in Indiana. Got the final decree about a year ago. We have a hearing coming up in April for some violations on the court order by my ex, and also that she hasn't paid her share of some of the costs related to the children. Recently she sent me an email asking for my share of expenses incurred on extra curricular activities. Per the court order, we are supposed to share this equally. However, she has not provided the receipts. Out of 10 activities, she has attached one receipt by email but wants payment for all of them. Please advise how to respond to her? Thanks.

Pay for the activity she sent the receipt for and request the receipts for the others.

 

[t74]

Since she has not paid other bills, is it possible that she has not paid the ones for which she is asking reimbursement? Have you checked to see if your child's fees have really been paid?

When possible pay your share of the activity costs directly to the activity organizer.

 

[commentator]

I gather you are the one who is requesting this upcoming hearing. What you do not want to do, in any way, state or condition is piss the court off by the way you present. If you come across looking petty, vindictive, spiteful, nitpicking, as if you are trying to use the court as a way to control, demand, set parameters that she must follow, you are in danger of being jerked up sharply by someone who does have the power to jerk you. If it's a reasonable expense, and by all means, for the one she has provided the receipt for, pay it now. Is it possible she doesn't have the money to pay for some things until you give your share? Be sure that's not because she is truly genuinely financially in a bind right now due to unforseen circumstances. You want to present yourself as someone who is interested in your child's welfare first, not the perfectly even legal splitting of expenses and following of the order.

 

[Winsome]

Are these things that are likely valid, or likely not?

Some expenses are valid such as for sports, music, etc. Others she listed are fixed controlled costs (school related).

 

[Winsome]

Pay for the activity she sent the receipt for and request the receipts for the others.

The problem is, the receipt she attached does not conform to her claim. For e.g. the receipt says $300 but she wants $600.

 

[Ohiogal]

The problem is, the receipt she attached does not conform to her claim. For e.g. the receipt says $300 but she wants $600.

Pay your portion of the $300.

 

[Winsome]

Since she has not paid other bills, is it possible that she has not paid the ones for which she is asking reimbursement? Have you checked to see if your child's fees have really been paid?

Without the payment receipts it is hard to know whether she has or not. I checked with the providers since I wasn't getting information from her. For one of them, my son was enrolled prior to the divorce on a contract from 2018 till 2021. When I last checked, the dues weren't paid.

 

[Winsome]

Is it possible she doesn't have the money to pay for some things until you give your share? Be sure that's not because she is truly genuinely financially in a bind right now due to unforseen circumstances. You want to present yourself as someone who is interested in your child's welfare first, not the perfectly even legal splitting of expenses and following of the order.

Thanks. She earns well. I am willing to pay for the children, but I have been manipulated by her several times in the past that it becomes difficult to trust when she demands compensation without proof.

 

[stealth2]

Are your kids able to participate in whatever activities you're talking about? What did the providers you checked with tell you (besides the one)?

When I was in a similar situation and the kids would not have been able to continue, I just went ahead and paid my portion and his, then asked the court to hold him in contempt, to have him reimburse me for his portion plus interest I was charged, and to cover my fees to take the matter before the court. That put an end to the games.

 

[t74]

One option a young fiend has in his child's orders are that each parent picks an activity (of the child's choice) and is responsible for all the fees related to that activity. Both parents are permitted to attend/participate in the activity "owned" by the other parent. Both parents are required by court order to take the child to the activity "owned" by the other parent during the custody/visitation time.

The only issue has been that one parent regularly does not get the child to the other parent's activity.

I do not understand the comment on school costs

 

[adjusterjack]

Please advise how to respond to her?

How about:

"See you in court."

 

[Just Blue]

One option a young fiend has in his child's orders are that each parent picks an activity (of the child's choice) and is responsible for all the fees related to that activity.

I'd hate to see what activity a fiend would choose for their child.

 

[LdiJ]

Some expenses are valid such as for sports, music, etc. Others she listed are fixed controlled costs (school related).

What do you mean by the bolded. Could you be more specific?