Family trip

[justalayman]

We are expecting snow as far south as Orlando. So, I'm NOT talking chilly. I'm talking freezing weather here. I would cancel any trip to Orlando this weekend.

We are now into day 6 of extreme cold weather. Remember that we are NOT prepared down here for this kind of cold. We either don't have heaters, or the ones we have are NOT the kind to warm up a house in the extreme weather we are having.

There are NO space heaters to be found either.

extreme cold weather? It's 23º right now where I am and I successfully raised 2 children in this weather.


Rather than saying mom can or cannot deny the trip, I have not heard anybody ask or state:

are g-ma and g-pa capable of dealing with a 16 month old on a full time basis in addition to taking care of the other children and while mom was married, did g-parents take g-child anywhere without the parents?

If the g-parents might be overwhelmed by the presence of the very young child, I would suggest mom could reasonably refuse to allow the child to go. If she simply presents it as a control issue, it is improper and as o-gal stated, it could come back to bite her in the ensuing litigation.

In other words, if this is an abnormal situation for the g-parents, I would suggest the child not go. If the g-parents have done anything similar with a young child and are aware of the amount of work involved, I would not see any problem with the g-parents continuing to act as the same g-parents they have been all along.

personally, I shudder at the thought of going to Disney but if the g-parents want to take the child, more power to 'em. I don't know what there is for a 16 month old child to enjoy there so I will leave it to those that are familiar with Disney to make that call. All I can picture is g-ma and g-pa standing in line for 3 hours with a bunch of children, one with a poopy diaper waiting to spend 3 minutes enjoying whatever it is they are waiting for. Not my idea of fun.

Ohiogal
Quote:


Hey, I am only an attorney. It means nothing.

Oh, so you are going to pull the "I am an attorney" card on us eh? What do you think this is? a legal advice site or something?

Come on folks, O-gal does this for a living and appears to be very involved in childrens issues. I would suggest she has a bit of insight into the probabilities concerning such an issue that those of us not involved in the legal professions directly just doesn't see.

Not saying she is always right. She obviously isn't 'cuz she has disagreed with me occasionally and I know I am always right (obviously meant as humor, don;t castrate me, please) but she is a pro.

 

[ecmst12]

When you get to court, IF you deny this trip, the judge is going to look at it in the context of EVERYTHING else you have done to coparent with dad since you separated. Have you been letting him have reasonable visits with the child? Have you been getting along? Or have you been controlling and restrictive? Like I said, if dad and grandparents have been getting plenty of time otherwise and the ONLY thing you don't want to agree to is the trip, you are probably ok. But if you have been unreasonable about visitation with dad and grandparents in general, then denying the trip is only going to make you look worse. Get the picture?

 

[Proserpina]

the grandparents see thier other grandchild more..they do more trips with him..he's 2 years old and he's been all over with the grandparents. They only see my daughter when they come into town to see my husband. My husband's other child's mother dont mind and could care less, but i do..she's my daughter and I dont want her gone that long at such a young age... his other child was traveling with the grandparents since he was 6 months old....NOT MY CHILD!! BTW the grandparents always include the other child on thier visits, my daughter dont really know them like that..i think she should spend some time with her grandparetns alone first , then maybe she can go with them in the future.

Don't make me pull teeth please.

HOW OFTEN have they seen your child. How many times - a number, please? Once a week? Once a month? Never?

(we're trying to establish what kind of relationship they CURRENTLY have with your daughter)

 

[Artemis_ofthe_Hunt]

Don't make me pull teeth please.

HOW OFTEN have they seen your child. How many times - a number, please? Once a week? Once a month? Never?

(we're trying to establish what kind of relationship they CURRENTLY have with your daughter)

pulling teeth would be preferable to shoving sharpened toothpicks under the nail bed... wanna bet that you never get that answer?
Op's posting history shows her distain for anyone elses parenting... she's the end all be all, doncha know?

 

[stepmom4ever]

Don't make me pull teeth please.

HOW OFTEN have they seen your child. How many times - a number, please? Once a week? Once a month? Never?

(we're trying to establish what kind of relationship they CURRENTLY have with your daughter)

they have seen my daughter maybe twice or three times last year and twice the year before last.

 

[CJane]

EVERYTHING else you have done to coparent with dad since you separated.


if dad and grandparents have been getting plenty of time otherwise

visitation with dad and grandparents in general

This is NOT a Co parenting issue.

The grandparents have NO INHERENT rights here. I know you know that, but think about this.

It DOESN'T MATTER if the grandparents have taken 27 other 16 month olds to Disney in the snow. What MATTERS is whether or not the PARENTS of this child WANT their child to go.

One does. One doesn't. There IS no compromise. So how do you decide which parent "wins" this one?

This isn't even a LEGAL issue. This is a PARENTING issue.

Frankly? I wouldn't let my kid go if I could stop it. For a billion reasons, but mostly because I think Disney is a shiny happy version of hell. That's 100% MY opinion, but when it comes to parenting MY kids, it's MY opinion that matters when they're in MY custody, and currently kiddo is in MOM'S custody and she doesn't want kiddo to go.

And OG, it has nothing to do with you being an attorney. I know you're going to behave in a prejudicial manner in all things Disney.

 

[ecmst12]

I know the grandparents have no right, I was talking about the issue of dad wanting to allow the trip and mom not. Her reaction to THIS disagreement is to refuse to allow it no matter what dad thinks. The question is, is that her reaction to EVERY disagreement, or just this one.

 

[Proserpina]

they have seen my daughter maybe twice or three times last year and twice the year before last.

Right.

So now we have established that the grandparents haven't established any kind of regular contact with your daughter.

That alone would make me (personally) hesitant to allow them to take her for an entire week without your ex being present.

How about you offer to host them at your place for a long weekend, then they stay with Dad for the rest of the week. GPs get to see kiddo. You get a break too. Dad gets to see kiddo. Kiddo gets spoiled by FOUR grownups. No disney involved!

Win - win, yes?

(And not that you are obliged to do any of this - you're not. But it might not be a bad idea, and it'll certainly show that you're willing to not only co-parent with Dad, but that you recognize that kiddo has grandparents who - ostensibly - wish to love and dote on their grandchild and that you're fine with that).

 

[CJane]

I know the grandparents have no right, I was talking about the issue of dad wanting to allow the trip and mom not. Her reaction to THIS disagreement is to refuse to allow it no matter what dad thinks. The question is, is that her reaction to EVERY disagreement, or just this one.

I knew what your intent was, it's just a little disturbing to me that so many people are telling her she has to allow a trip with the grandparents when we ALL know that isn't true, and then you posted that she might not get in trouble if she hasn't been denying the grandparents time with kiddo, kwim?

 

[Just Blue]

I knew what your intent was, it's just a little disturbing to me that so many people are telling her she has to allow a trip with the grandparents when we ALL know that isn't true, and then you posted that she might not get in trouble if she hasn't been denying the grandparents time with kiddo, kwim?

I am basing my posts to the posters past Hx. She is a control freak,

 

[ecmst12]

Yeah I get you CJ I don't think anyone is telling her that she HAS to allow the trip, only making her aware that it COULD make her look bad to the judge if she does not. Which I agree with, it COULD, depending on everything else going on. Obviously dad wants kiddo to have a relationship with his parents, and she has no good reason to deny that, even if she DOES have a good reason to deny this particular trip (and I agree that she does).

I also agree that OP is a control freak, I am trying (probably in vain) to help her understand the value of choosing her battles carefully

 

[CJane]

I am basing my posts to the posters past Hx. She is a control freak,

I think more than a few of us fall into that category.

And regardless of her past idiocy, even as amazingly extreme as it was, we owe her legally correct answers.

 

[Proserpina]

Please can we just stop this?

I know I'm just as guilty but it's been established ad nauseum that OP was naive, overstepping, foolish, whatever the heck it was.

She's still got problems and still apparently needs our help.

Pretty please? With cherry liqueurs on top?

 

[stepmom4ever]

I think more than a few of us fall into that category.

And regardless of her past idiocy, even as amazingly extreme as it was, we owe her legally correct answers.

So I dont have to let her go thanks you guys! The grandparents can spend it with their other grandchild...thank you

 

[LdiJ]

Please can we just stop this?

I know I'm just as guilty but it's been established ad nauseum that OP was naive, overstepping, foolish, whatever the heck it was.

She's still got problems and still apparently needs our help.

Pretty please? With cherry liqueurs on top?

Ok by me. That's honestly what I was trying to do in the first place.