fighting for placement from abusive mother

[angelasdad]

What is the name of your state? wisconsin


hello,
my name is mark , i live in washington county, in wisconsin.
i am a single father.. recently the mother of my daughter was arrested for child abuse of her other child with a different father.since my daughter also primarly lives there, she has been removed for placement there. i share equal joint custody( which as you may know is'nt always equal) and a shared placement schedual of every sunday,monday friday, and every other wednesday. as well as resonable time and notice. there was a temporary hearing on placement after her arrest.in which i was seeking placement of my daughter with me. however, the department of social services in that county,and the gardian ad-litem recommended that i not recieve placement,because of an arrest and conviction i had 4 years before the birth of my daughter. and has no relevance to this case or my daughter, or the fact that there has never been any evidence or suspicion that i would endanger my child.or the mother! and nothing has ever been contested to my ability to raise my daughter!! only the fact that i was charged with a midemeaner crime unrelated, but considerd violent in nature! the temporary placement was given to the father of her other child, his daughter and mine..the court also didn't want to seperate the two children. i still would like to fight for permanent placement,but i can not afford an attorney, and may have to fight this on my own. I dont know what to do , and need serious help and advice. ther is also a possibility that my daughtr angela may go back to her mother since the abuse was only recorded with the other child
my daughter angelas sister is named stephanie and her mom is april..
this is what happened according to the report..
april woke up stephanie,that after eating breakfast,stephanie began to clean the litter box,that stephanie felt it was necessary to do a good job cleaning it due to to fact that her mother being pregnant and being told she needs to do it in order to keep her cat, that her mother stated to stephanie," i hope your not doing it “half-assed",that upon her mother finding that there was still feces in the litter box , her mother became very angry and "charged" at stephanie, that her mother then grabbed her by the right arm in the wrist area really hard and threw Stephanie out of the bathroom down the one step onto the living room floor, that her mother then dragged Stephanie into the kitchen and asked her to find the Lysol can , that upon finishing with the Lysol can , her mother threw the can at Stephanie and the lid of the can became broken, but did not hit Stephanie, her mother the grabbed Stephanie from the back of her head, pulled it “really tight”, that her mother then kicked her in the back, and also “smacked her” in the back of the head and that when Stephanie was grabbed by her hair, her mother pulled a “chunck” of hair out of her head causing a bald spot on the upper right side approximately one inch in diameter.

help me help my daughter, markwroblewski

 

[KKHeuser]

What is the name of your state? wisconsin


hello,
my name is mark , i live in washington county, in wisconsin.
i am a single father.. recently the mother of my daughter was arrested for child abuse of her other child with a different father.since my daughter also primarly lives there, she has been removed for placement there. i share equal joint custody( which as you may know is'nt always equal) and a shared placement schedual of every sunday,monday friday, and every other wednesday. as well as resonable time and notice. there was a temporary hearing on placement after her arrest.in which i was seeking placement of my daughter with me. however, the department of social services in that county,and the gardian ad-litem recommended that i not recieve placement,because of an arrest and conviction i had 4 years before the birth of my daughter. and has no relevance to this case or my daughter, or the fact that there has never been any evidence or suspicion that i would endanger my child.or the mother! and nothing has ever been contested to my ability to raise my daughter!! only the fact that i was charged with a midemeaner crime unrelated, but considerd violent in nature! the temporary placement was given to the father of her other child, his daughter and mine..the court also didn't want to seperate the two children. i still would like to fight for permanent placement,but i can not afford an attorney, and may have to fight this on my own. I dont know what to do , and need serious help and advice. ther is also a possibility that my daughtr angela may go back to her mother since the abuse was only recorded with the other child
my daughter angelas sister is named stephanie and her mom is april..
this is what happened according to the report..
april woke up stephanie,that after eating breakfast,stephanie began to clean the litter box,that stephanie felt it was necessary to do a good job cleaning it due to to fact that her mother being pregnant and being told she needs to do it in order to keep her cat, that her mother stated to stephanie," i hope your not doing it “half-assed",that upon her mother finding that there was still feces in the litter box , her mother became very angry and "charged" at stephanie, that her mother then grabbed her by the right arm in the wrist area really hard and threw Stephanie out of the bathroom down the one step onto the living room floor, that her mother then dragged Stephanie into the kitchen and asked her to find the Lysol can , that upon finishing with the Lysol can , her mother threw the can at Stephanie and the lid of the can became broken, but did not hit Stephanie, her mother the grabbed Stephanie from the back of her head, pulled it “really tight”, that her mother then kicked her in the back, and also “smacked her” in the back of the head and that when Stephanie was grabbed by her hair, her mother pulled a “chunck” of hair out of her head causing a bald spot on the upper right side approximately one inch in diameter.

help me help my daughter, markwroblewski

Mark,
I feel for you and your daughter. I am not an attorney so can not tell you exactly what to do. I do suggest that you find a way to afford one or find one who will make payment arrangements. I have just a few questions, have you been in trouble at all since your conviction? How old is your daughter? Were you married to her mother?

 

[angelasdad]

reply

no i haven't been in trouble since, my daughter will be 4 years old in march ,
and no we were not married. she took off when she got pregnant.

 

[KKHeuser]

no i haven't been in trouble since, my daughter will be 4 years old in march ,
and no we were not married. she took off when she got pregnant.

Then your past transgressions should be inadmissable.. Get an attorney immediately. Your attorney will put emphasis on the fact that this transgression was a brief lapse in judgement and hasn't since been repeated. If you've not already done so get a court order and have a paternity test to verify you are the childs father. Unless you are listed on the birth certificate and signed the proper forms verifying your paternity, I'm sorry but, you have no legal standing. If this is the case get this corrected. You'll stand a much better chance of obtaining temporary custody if not permanent.

 

[LdiJ]

You seriously need an attorney. You really have to find some way to come up with the money to pay one. CPS cases are almost the most difficult cases to fight and without an attorney its almost impossible.

 

[Reyna7]

LdiJ???

You seriously need an attorney. You really have to find some way to come up with the money to pay one. CPS cases are almost the most difficult cases to fight and without an attorney its almost impossible.

What do you mean about the CPS cases. We are also involved in one and any insight would be helpful.

 

[LdiJ]

What do you mean about the CPS cases. We are also involved in one and any insight would be helpful.

Judge's pretty much "rubber stamp" the decisions made by CPS. Its really difficult to get a judge to do something that is different than what CPS recommends. Therefore its really critical to have an attorney in your corner fighting for your rights.

In addition, CPS has a mandate to reunite children that have been removed from their parents. Therefore, if the parent jumps through the required hoops, they are almost guaranteed to get their children back....even if they were placed with the other parent, and the other parent's environment is clearly better.

Sometimes its recommended that the parent desiring custody file an independent custody case (separate from the CPS case). That doesn't take away CPS's involvement but it gives the judge more options.

 

[king sol]

I strongly strongly disagree. The only smart road to take in a CPS case is work with them not against them. Do whatever parenting or other classes they request. In CPS cases, time is of the essence. Parents only have 18 months to reunify with their children. If parents fail to meet "case plan goals" for reunification in this time frame, chidren are put up for adoption and the parents loses all parental rights.

Make the case worker your best friend. In every situation, when dealing with CPS, focus only on your child's best interest. "I did that 4 years ago" and complaints that your past shouldn't be revevent should be avoided. The only obligation and concern of CPS is you child....THE CHILD. Any and all information, past, present or future which will provide insite to ensuring children are safe is relevent.

 

[kat1963]

I disagree. CPS is NOT your friend. CPS is NOT going to inform you of your RIGHTS. You have to learn/study what your rights are according to state & federal laws AND how to enforce them. Don’t go by what CPS tells you concerning custody & don’t sign anything. You file your own motions & let the judge decide. Get with the other father, start reading & researching. Your children’s lives depend on it. What is she going to throw her down next eh? The stairs? Chances are if you don’t FIGHT this battle they will place the child back in the home after Mommy Dearest takes some parenting & anger management classes. Get your home prepared to take your child home (you leave them NO EXCUSE.)

Start here:

http://reliableanswers.com/cps/legal/handbook.asp

A tip on documentation:
Wis. Stat. § 968.31: A person who is a party to a wire, electronic or oral communication, or who has obtained prior consent from one party, can legally record and divulge the contents of the communication, unless he does so for the purpose of committing a criminal or tortious act.

Under the statute, consent is not required for the taping of a non-electronic communication uttered by a person who does not have a reasonable expectation of privacy in that communication. See definition of "oral communication," Wis. Stat. § 968.27.


KAT

 

[king sol]

I 100% agree that CPS is not your friend. They are in no way on the parent's side. There sole purpose is to protect children from neglect and abuse.

Real life experience to follow.....
You want what is best for your children and so does CPS, so in some sences you are on the same side. Getting a lawyer involved delays what is most important....the returm of you children. CPS is not the big bad boogie man, trying to steal children from their parents. If you simply cooperate, actively comply with any "supportive services", you will have no problems.

Without no intent to judge, I am sure that every parent could benefit from parenting classes and such. CPS can be a wonderful tool to parents with problems like anger or substance abuse. All services are free.

I now return you to those without personal life experiences dealing with CPS.
Be careful following the lead of some of the "court happy", "winning is everything" "my rights, my rights!" posters. Getting CPS out of your life and your children home a.s.a.p. at any cost.....

Good luck!

 

[stealth2]

And as usual, reality is between those two extremes. CPS is neither the boogey man nor a redeeming angel. It is a government agency which, while filled with people who no doubt want to do what is best for the children that come their way, but are overworked and underpaid. So they don't always do the best job that we'd like them to. It is foolish to go up against a government agency withour legal representation. SImple as that.

 

[casa]

I've posted many times before that I found CPS to be supportive. I know this sounds contrary to other's experiences

My experience with CPS was because an X made false allegations. CPS investigated. They came unnanounced to my home and interviewed my children at school prior to the home visit and again at home. They gave me a packet outlining my rights the first time they knocked on my door. They also gave me information on a variety of services available in my community, should they be necessary.

That said, I had nothing to hide- So I cooperated fully. I didn't demand search warrants and obstruct their investigation. I released records etc. Turned out they became a great advocate for me in later court hearing(s) with my nutty X.

It's true they are trying to protect children when allegations are made of abuse and neglect- But if there is no abuse or neglect occurring- that will become apparent as well.

I never got the records, just the 'status' of the case. What I did get is the court's opinion and quotes of what was said by the Social Workers from CPS.

I hope sharing this has helped in some way.

 

[king sol]

Well Casa-

We agree on some things.

 

[LdiJ]

I think that a few people are missing the point that I was making. The OP not the parent who was accused of abuse. The OP is the other parent (in a similar situation the OP could be a relative of the child as well). CPS has chosen not to place the child with the OP and has placed the children in foster care instead.

Without an attorney the OP has virtually no chance to get a judge to over-ride CPS's decision and get placement himself. It would be like beating his head against a brick wall. CPS is only mandated to provide services to attempt to reunify the child with the parent from whom they removed the child. They have made their decision and will stick with it until a judge overrules them.

If mom doesn't jump through the required hoops, the kids could even get put up for adoption against the will of the father. HE NEEDS AN ATTORNEY... like yesterday.

I also have direct experience (a friend of mine's case). He child was removed from the mother by CPS. The caseworker confidentially recommended to him that he get his own attorney AND file an independent custody case as well. The end result was that he got placement almost immediately, and had permanent custody (with his child completely out of the CPS "loop") within 6 months.

Attorneys know how to get the judge's to follow the law rather than rubber stamping CPS's recommendations. Attorneys know how to stop CPS from attempting to terminate the parental rights of the non-offending parent if the offending parent doesn't jump through their hoops.

I have seen way too many of these cases go bad...where the children ended up being lost to the other parent or to relatives because they didn't get an attorney when they should have.

 

[stealth2]

I'd agree with you LDiJ, but sollie may come and accuse me of supporting you in strange and bizarrely lewd ways.