Frustrated with this situation.

[bbqpops]

Right now, I have done nothing. Right now, I couldn't give a rat's shiny butt what she thinks, or gets a response from me.

Right now, it's damage control. I have to find words to explain what my son read, what he thinks of it, and do this in a manner that wouldn't paint mom out to be villainous. She's still his mom, nothing will change that. If I don't choose my words carefully, I could be making a bad situation worse. Then I would be the jerk.

Regardless of what I'm feeling about her now.

I just don't get why folks have to drag the innocent one in to make them form an opinion.

 

[LdiJ]

Right now, I have done nothing. Right now, I couldn't give a rat's shiny butt what she thinks, or gets a response from me.

Right now, it's damage control. I have to find words to explain what my son read, what he thinks of it, and do this in a manner that wouldn't paint mom out to be villainous. She's still his mom, nothing will change that. If I don't choose my words carefully, I could be making a bad situation worse. Then I would be the jerk.

Regardless of what I'm feeling about her now.

I just don't get why folks have to drag the innocent one in to make them form an opinion.

Dad don't even bring it up unless your son brings it up. He is plenty old enough to form his own conclusions based on his own observances all along. He doesn't need you to explain anything to him unless he asks you to do so.

 

[AkersTile]

I have absolutely nothing to add to this thread except that I like you. You were detailed in your posts, you answered all questions, you tried to help yourself, you thanked posters, you didn't bash Mom. Can you please give some of the other posters lessons? BTW I don't think you have anything to worry about with your son. He will see that Mom is the one putting him in the middle and trying to cause problems. Good job OP!

 

[bbqpops]

Well, the time for mom to contest has come and gone.

I have sent the Order for Termination of Child Support to the Clerk of the Court. Now, I'll see if the judge signs it.

Mom has sent me another message a while back, asking what I was peeved about. Again, I gave no response. Haven't talked with my son about it either. I suppose the whole gamut of messages will return once the support is stopped. Just hoping this doesn't ruin the holiday for the kid. I will wait til after Christmas to recover any overpaid support. I will just focus on the time I will spend with my boy over the two weeks he is home.

Thanks for your kind words Akers Tile.

 

[bbqpops]

Well, last week I got a signed Termination of Support Order from the judge. Much to my surprise, she made a notation that puts the order into effect from May 31 of 2011, not November 3 as I had requested.

The state CSEW have been kind enough to keep me in the loop of happenings on their end. I now have a credit on their books for quite a sum. (7 months of support that was not due from me.)

Any monies not sent to her will be returned to me, but any money that has been spent by her, I will need to recover myself through the court system. Because the amount overpaid exceeds the allowable limits for small claims, I would need to take this to a different level.

However, because it took me so long to take action and address this problem, I feel that it is unfair of me to ask for for the full seven months of overpaid support, and I may only go after the last two.

Yes, the whole situation has been messy. I have gotten the whole gamut of messages, none of which I have answered. My son has never asked me what my side of the story is, even though his mom has been more than vocal. Perhaps time will erase much of the last year of hard feelings and litigation.

And to you all that helped guide me through the process with sound advice and wisdom. Thank You.

 

[LdiJ]

Well, last week I got a signed Termination of Support Order from the judge. Much to my surprise, she made a notation that puts the order into effect from May 31 of 2011, not November 3 as I had requested.

The state CSEW have been kind enough to keep me in the loop of happenings on their end. I now have a credit on their books for quite a sum. (7 months of support that was not due from me.)

Any monies not sent to her will be returned to me, but any money that has been spent by her, I will need to recover myself through the court system. Because the amount overpaid exceeds the allowable limits for small claims, I would need to take this to a different level.

However, because it took me so long to take action and address this problem, I feel that it is unfair of me to ask for for the full seven months of overpaid support, and I may only go after the last two.

Yes, the whole situation has been messy. I have gotten the whole gamut of messages, none of which I have answered. My son has never asked me what my side of the story is, even though his mom has been more than vocal. Perhaps time will erase much of the last year of hard feelings and litigation.

And to you all that helped guide me through the process with sound advice and wisdom. Thank You.

Dad, I am going to give you some advice that may not be popular here, but I think that you should take it as food for thought.

Despite the fact that your son is a legal adult and despite the fact that court orders will no longer factor into the overall family relationships...if I were in your position I would let it go. I wouldn't go after any of the support.

Why? Because for the rest of your life you are going to be your son's father, and she is going to be your son's mother...and your son will likely end up in the middle of any battle between the two of you. Some day the two of you are likely to be going to share grandchildren as well.

Odds are you won't ever be able to collect anything from her without things getting nasty...and its probably not worth it.

Just food for thought.

 

[Proserpina]

Dad, I am going to give you some advice that may not be popular here, but I think that you should take it as food for thought.

Despite the fact that your son is a legal adult and despite the fact that court orders will no longer factor into the overall family relationships...if I were in your position I would let it go. I wouldn't go after any of the support.

Why? Because for the rest of your life you are going to be your son's father, and she is going to be your son's mother...and your son will likely end up in the middle of any battle between the two of you. Some day the two of you are likely to be going to share grandchildren as well.

Odds are you won't ever be able to collect anything from her without things getting nasty...and its probably not worth it.

Just food for thought.

Popular statement or not, I'm in agreement with this. I'd also let it go.