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Grandma to be needs advice

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rmet4nzkx

Senior Member
Even if they were not able to locate him re the charges doesn't mean that they won't once they do have him located, which he will have to do to establish paternity, and the court will order child support, once the entire reality becomes apparent, he may feel differently about the child.

However I had a neighbor who also got a 14 yo girl pregnant and he was 17 at the time, he with his mother's assistance fought to establish paternity, paid child support and had some limited visitation, he loved his child.

While both children may be immature and the father lacking in responsibility a part of that might be due to his father abandoning him, just as many girls get pregnant because it fills a need in their life, somethimes these children turn into good parents. If the father is insistant on being a father explain to him that the court will make him responsibile for child support so he better get a job now and start demonstrating to the court that he can be a father.
 


worriedmomof4

Junior Member
I dropped the idea of adoption a couple of months ago. It was discussed and after many tears and even though I know it would mean an easier life for her as an individual and education would be easier to achieve and excell at for this child (that will soon be a mother) it would devistate her. I have started accumulating the needed things that a baby requires, bed, clothes, swings ect., and making room for baby so to speak. Thank you very much for your advice and you are probably right he doesnt' have any money to persue this. I don't know what will happen when it comes to him proving paternity, I know I am not paying for it. I would rather support it than fight him forever, or for the next three years. Currently the two have not seen each other since she told me she was pregnant. She lives with me during school and stays with her father in the summer and we live one hour away... and like I said before no car, and I live in a gated community so I know that this true, the only time right now that my 15 year old is not with me is at school, and we know he would never go there to much of a risk of getting an education. That which does not kill us only makes us stronger and even though we don't see eye to eye on many things my daughter and I are taking advantage of this time to work through many things. I only hope she understands my concerns for the safety of her and the baby by setting limitations. I also hope this boy eventually gets his crap together and then I will not have to worry about the safety and security for both.
 

worriedmomof4

Junior Member
haiku said:
Cuz we all know boys are what?............
Then we wont have to worry about him being attracted to his own daughter. I don't think he would but he does like much younger girls, it was not a preference in boy or girl, I just pray to God that there are no complications at all. My first child was born with a birth defect.
 

haiku

Senior Member
worriedmomof4 said:
Then we wont have to worry about him being attracted to his own daughter. I don't think he would but he does like much younger girls, it was not a preference in boy or girl, I just pray to God that there are no complications at all. My first child was born with a birth defect.


oh cripe....lady..........
 

worriedmomof4

Junior Member
rmet4nzkx said:
Even if they were not able to locate him re the charges doesn't mean that they won't once they do have him located, which he will have to do to establish paternity, and the court will order child support, once the entire reality becomes apparent, he may feel differently about the child.

However I had a neighbor who also got a 14 yo girl pregnant and he was 17 at the time, he with his mother's assistance fought to establish paternity, paid child support and had some limited visitation, he loved his child.

While both children may be immature and the father lacking in responsibility a part of that might be due to his father abandoning him, just as many girls get pregnant because it fills a need in their life, somethimes these children turn into good parents. If the father is insistant on being a father explain to him that the court will make him responsibile for child support so he better get a job now and start demonstrating to the court that he can be a father.

For some reason this boy is desperately afraid of the police talking to him at all. I will hope and pray that this all works out for the best and both will step up to their responsibilities. I am aware of what it takes to raise a child and I have been trying to give a crash course of all of these things to my 15 year old daughter :( .
 

worriedmomof4

Junior Member
What is up with this forum. I thought that it would give me a legal direction to go into. I expected to post my situation and then receive an answer that would tell me rights of my daughter, the father and what my responsibility was in all of this. I don't want to call a lawyer and start something if there is nothing there, so to ease my mind I thought I would search the internet for some direction. I have seen a lot of postings looking for the same direction and so far I see a lot of judgements tossed in with a little legal advice here and there. Is there some kind of bickering going on here that I do not understand? :confused: I know my rights as a grandmother are very limited but I did not know: Where does my daughters begin, she will not be sixteen when this baby is born, and if the father who by then will be 19 wanted custody would he have that right if his name is on the certificate? What if he talks my daughter into giving him custody until she is 18, can she make that decision? Does he have to prove himself with a DNA test before a court would allow such a situation to occur? These questions I wanted an educated guess with rationale and that was it. I know it is a horrifying thing to have a 15 year old daughter pregnant, I know she is a child having a child, I know that if he was 2 months older he would be in jail (if they could find him) I like many others here need just a point of direction not a trial by oppinion or petty bickering between members. If anyone has short non opinionated answers to the above questions I thank you ahead of time, anything else can be left alone and dropped there are comments above that I could have shot back at and have choosen to just read on past that looking for the real advice I know it is out there somewhere and I will continue to look for it. Thank you to those who have given me advice even if it was harsh and brutal and scary to read, I know that there is a long road of obstacles ahead.
 
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KKHeuser

Member
worriedmomof4 said:
What is up with this forum. I thought that it would give me a legal direction to go into. I expected to post my situation and then receive an answer that would tell me rights of my daughter, the father and what my responsibility was in all of this. I don't want to call a lawyer and start something if there is nothing there, so to ease my mind I thought I would search the internet for some direction. I have seen a lot of postings looking for the same direction and so far I see a lot of judgements tossed in with a little legal advice here and there. Is there some kind of bickering going on here that I do not understand? :confused: I know my rights as a grandmother are very limited but I did not know: Where does my daughters begin, she will not be sixteen when this baby is born, and if the father who by then will be 19 wanted custody would he have that right if his name is on the certificate? What if he talks my daughter into giving him custody until she is 18, can she make that decision? Does he have to prove himself with a DNA test before a court would allow such a situation to occur? These questions I wanted an educated guess with rationale and that was it. I know it is a horrifying thing to have a 15 year old daughter pregnant, I know she is a child having a child, I know that if he was 2 months older he would be in jail (if they could find him) I like many others here need just a point of direction not a trial by oppinion or petty bickering between members. If anyone has short non opinionated answers to the above questions I thank you ahead of time, anything else can be left alone and dropped there are comments above that I could have shot back at and have choosen to just read on past that looking for the real advice I know it is out there somewhere and I will continue to look for it. Thank you to those who have given me advice even if it was harsh and brutal and scary to read, I know that there is a long road of obstacles ahead.

I found this and thought maybe it would ease your mind a bit. I actually found a website you may be interested in looking at.

http://onlinedocs.andersonpublishing.com/oh/lpExt.dll?f=templates&fn=main-h.htm&cp=PORC

[§ 3109.04.2] § 3109.042. Custody rights of unmarried mother.






An unmarried female who gives birth to a child is the sole residential parent and legal custodian of the child until a court of competent jurisdiction issues an order designating another person as the residential parent and legal custodian. A court designating the residential parent and legal custodian of a child described in this section shall treat the mother and father as standing upon an equality when making the designation.
 
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KKHeuser

Member
worriedmomof4 said:
Thank you I took a quick peek at the site, looks like I have a lot of reading to do.

Good luck! I hope that site is of more help to you than the people on this board.
 

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