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grandmother adoption.

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Michael_xx

Junior Member
The grandmother of my child wants to take over my custodial rights. I'm all for this because I can't keep up with the child support (I'm on SSI) so I was wondering what the process was to make this happen, if it was possible, and if so how much would it cost and wether or not it would discontinue my support?

I live in Indiana but the child and the grandmother live in Missouri. Also the mother recieves the payments but the child lives with the grandmother.
 


Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
The grandmother of my child wants to take over my custodial rights. I'm all for this because I can't keep up with the child support (I'm on SSI) so I was wondering what the process was to make this happen, if it was possible, and if so how much would it cost and wether or not it would discontinue my support?

I live in Indiana but the child and the grandmother live in Missouri. Also the mother recieves the payments but the child lives with the grandmother.

Poor kid...
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
The grandmother of my child wants to take over my custodial rights. I'm all for this because I can't keep up with the child support (I'm on SSI) so I was wondering what the process was to make this happen, if it was possible, and if so how much would it cost and wether or not it would discontinue my support?

I live in Indiana but the child and the grandmother live in Missouri. Also the mother recieves the payments but the child lives with the grandmother.


Why is the child with the grandmother?
 

Michael_xx

Junior Member
I guess vauge and discreate is only going to get me nowhere slowly.


Okay so here's the situation....


I've been allienated from the child's life. Last time I saw her was when an angry mob was running me out of town (dramitic I know but that's the basic's of the situation).

To inforce my visitation rights would A - take money that I don't have, and B- put a lot of stress on the child. Could you imagine what would be going through the poor child's mind if everytime she saw her father it was accompinied by a cop?

So rather than taking the child away from what she's ever known and into a place that's really uncertain (It's a struggle to support myself let alone a child) I'd rather have the one person (even though I truly hate the woman with a fiery passion) that has acttually been there for the child take over legal control.

As far as the mother goes... I'm tired of telling story. If you want it track her down and ask her go for it.
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
I guess vauge and discreate is only going to get me nowhere slowly.


Okay so here's the situation....


I've been allienated from the child's life. Last time I saw her was when an angry mob was running me out of town (dramitic I know but that's the basic's of the situation).

To inforce my visitation rights would A - take money that I don't have, and B- put a lot of stress on the child. Could you imagine what would be going through the poor child's mind if everytime she saw her father it was accompinied by a cop?

So rather than taking the child away from what she's ever known and into a place that's really uncertain (It's a struggle to support myself let alone a child) I'd rather have the one person (even though I truly hate the woman with a fiery passion) that has acttually been there for the child take over legal control.

As far as the mother goes... I'm tired of telling story. If you want it track her down and ask her go for it.


Thanks, but I have better things to do. If you're too lazy to give us details, you'll find we're far too lazy to bother with dentistry.

Good day.
 
You know, this just burns me up. I agree with Zigner, poor kid is right. We really need a head banging smiley here. With parents like myself and others that posted on here having to FIGHT against other people unfairly for their children and you just want to toss yours away like a puppy you are bored with and don't want to take care of.

Considering how spineless you are, then it is really in the best interest that this child be given a guardian who cares.

Who cares about how much money its going to cost you, this is your child for christs sake...Utterly disgusted.:mad::mad::mad:

And why would you be accompanied by the cops to see your child? That makes no sense whatsoever.
 

Michael_xx

Junior Member
Thanks, but I have better things to do. If you're too lazy to give us details, you'll find we're far too lazy to bother with dentistry.

Good day.

lazy has nothing to do with it sir/madam. It's about not bashing on the other parent. I've come to realize that when I tell her side it only comes down to "there are two sides what she's gotta say about you?" It get's tiresome.

But if you must know my side of her story here it goes.

I met the mother when I was 18. She was 20. We dated and got engaged. Turns out she only used me to get pregnant. We were happily (or at least i thought) engaged for 6 months before she got pregnant and right after she found out she was she left me for her old boyfriend.

From there I've tried everything to be a part of the child's life. It litterally got to the point where I was living in a burnt down mobile home in drug land (no I have never done drugs). When she was 6 months pregnant I had a mental breakdown and ended up in the psyche ward. While I was there she stole my bank card and completly drained my bank account (about 700 dollars that I had saved for a place to live). While in the psyche ward I lost my job. From there I was transferred to Texas to live with my parents.

I went back to Missouri to try to be a part of the child's life. I was supposed to be staying with one of her relatives. Again I was living on the streets. A week after the baby was born she spread rumors in the area I was living that I was a narc. I was assualted, robbed, and run out of town.

The mother (who's NEVER had a job) lived with her mother (the grandmother of the child.) A moth after the child was born the mother started abusing drugs. This has gone on and off since the child was born. I've tried to keep contact over the phone and have been trying to pay my support as often as I can (even though none of it is spent on the child). Since I was declaired "mentally ill" I have been on SSI and haven't been able to pay my support. The last I heard the mother was living in Oklahoma and the child still lived in Missouri with the grandmother. This was less than a month ago when I started looking to see if I can have the grandmother take over my custodial rights. Which she is more then willing to do.

Now seeing as I can barely (if at all) support myself I don't want to take the chance of something happening to the mother (like an overdose) and ending up with a child that I can't take care of. Not only that but with my illness's I really don't think that I will be capable of raising a child.

I've looked into it. What I want advice on is a transfer of custodial rights. In which case I will have to go to court and explain to a judge why I'm not suitable to have gardianship and why the grandmother is.

What I can't find out is cost, childsupport issues, or where I would I have to file (Missouri or Indiana).

For the record my mental illness's are anxiety, borderline personality disorder, depression, suicidal and aggressive tendencies. I have been on medication for the last year and it has helped a little but I still have major issues with dealing with this and the slightest thing can trigger a negative episode.


All the details are there (as far as I can think of, if there are anymore I'll make sure to add them). Now will someone please answer my questions, or am I just laying out my life story in order just so I can be told that how horrible a person I am because I've gotten that enough.

Edit: I know this will come up. I have talked to protective services about the drug use and the fact that the mother doesn't live with the child. They did nothing. I sent them pictures and they did nothing and even told me they were going to do nothing.
 
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Michael_xx

Junior Member
You realize, of course, that you will still owe your child support arrears, right?

paying the back support is fine. I can do that over time, it's just not being able to pay the current balance and that's adding up on the back support that makes this a major issue on cost right now.
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
paying the back support is fine. I can do that over time, it's just not being able to pay the current balance and that's adding up on the back support that makes this a major issue on cost right now.



So you went on SSI AFTER the initial CS order was made?

Have you filed to modify based upon your absolute inability to work?

This is important, Michael.
 

Michael_xx

Junior Member
So you went on SSI AFTER the initial CS order was made?

Have you filed to modify based upon your absolute inability to work?

This is important, Michael.

No, i didn't. I didn't know anything about it. Although I have been in contact with the enforcement agency and they know that I'm on SSI now (originally thought it was SSA and had to confirm it).

How do I file to modify?
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
No, i didn't. I didn't know anything about it. Although I have been in contact with the enforcement agency and they know that I'm on SSI now (originally thought it was SSA and had to confirm it).

How do I file to modify?


OK - you can indeed go back to court and get the order modified.

Please - don't give up on your child. Specially not for money's sake.

You need to call the court where the original order was made, and ask for direction - the clerk can tell you which forms you need to modify, but will not be able to tell you how to fill them out.
 

cyjeff

Senior Member
So...

When your child finds you in 19 years or so, how will you answer the question, "People all over the world are poor but raise their children. Why was I so expensive that you decided to abandon me?"
 

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