grandmother adoption.

[Michael_xx]

So...

When your child finds you in 19 years or so, how will you answer the question, "People all over the world are poor but raise their children. Why was I so expensive that you decided to abandon me?"

The child will be raised to hate me any how so I don't really see the relivants here (and no that has nothing to do with my wanting to do this). Until you've actually met the mother/grandmother you won't be able to say otherwise, trust me on that.


Also if you go back and read what I've posted you'd know that money is only one of the issues. Would you ever let a metal patient babysit your child even for 5 minutes?

 

[Proserpina]

The child will be raised to hate me any how so I don't really see the relivants here (and no that has nothing to do with my wanting to do this). Until you've actually met the mother/grandmother you won't be able to say otherwise, trust me on that.


Also if you go back and read what I've posted you'd know that money is only one of the issues. Would you ever let a metal patient babysit your child even for 5 minutes?

Oh please.

Do you know how many mentally ill patients have FULL CUSTODY of their children?

 

[Michael_xx]

OK - you can indeed go back to court and get the order modified.

Please - don't give up on your child. Specially not for money's sake.

You need to call the court where the original order was made, and ask for direction - the clerk can tell you which forms you need to modify, but will not be able to tell you how to fill them out.

What if there was never an official court hearing. The mother filed the paperwork and it was done. They called me and told me how much was to be paid.

As far as the money's sake. I've lived on the streets. It's not fun, and it's a fear that I face everyday. In june I had my electricity shut off for a week and a half. There is NO WAY i'm putting a child through that. The grandmother has her own home and her bills have always been payed on time and in full. It's security that I want for my child. Nothing more.

 

[milspecgirl]

I really think we should stop bashing this guy. Obviously he feels that he is in no position to be a parent to this child. Whether he is thinking about the money or the child- if he feels for whatever reason he can't be a parent to this child- then he shouldn't be. How is it in the best interest of the child to have to be with someone just because they're dad even if he doesn't want them?

Grandmother obviously cares for the child and wants to parent the child.

Dad- you cannot get out of child support if grandma doesn't adopt. I am sensing that grandma adopting may not be possible (she may not be a candidate- age, marital status, financial status, etc). If she was found to be a viable adoption candidate, then both you and mom would have to sign over all rights to the child. That is how to stop child support. Your other option is to go and try to have it reduced as much as possible based on your disability and income and ask that the money go to the caregiver of the child. Mom should also be ordered to pay support on the child.

 

[Michael_xx]

Oh please.

Do you know how many mentally ill patients have FULL CUSTODY of their children?

That's their cross to bare not mine. I know my self and I've know what I'm capable of.

As for everyone who's trying to judge me I want you to honestly think of how selfish you're being. I'm giving up my child to a woman that I truly can't stand in order to make sure she's safe and you're judging me for it. It's people like you that make me sick. The kind of people who sit there and say "I'll do anything for my child" while you're so wrapped up in some kind of debt or you're drinking your self to death, working so much that you come home at night and you're children have no idea who you are. The people that live on hope and ignorance instead of the real world. You're the exact kind of people that will do everything for their child expect make sure that they're happy safe and actually being children. So you know what, go ahead and judge me like the hypocrites you are. I'll sleep soundly at night knowing the sacrafices I've made for her well being while you "parents" slumber in your ignorance of how miserable you're actually making the children you claim so much to love.

 

[Proserpina]

I really think we should stop bashing this guy. Obviously he feels that he is in no position to be a parent to this child. Whether he is thinking about the money or the child- if he feels for whatever reason he can't be a parent to this child- then he shouldn't be. How is it in the best interest of the child to have to be with someone just because they're dad even if he doesn't want them?

Did you somehow read a different thread?

 

[momofrose]

Not gonna happen

here is the deal - unless mom is remarried and her husband is willing to adopt this child - no adoption will take place.

Change of Custody is a different issue, but YOu can not simply walk away from your child - YOU are the DAD.

As far as your mental illness..many many people function quite well in society with their med's. Don't use that as a cop-out or the fact that the child will grow up to hate you or the faact that you were ran out of town (whatever that means).

It costs little to nothing tofile pro se in a court house - find a para legal to help you with the paperwork. File for visitation with your child and step up to the plate - don't run away from it.

You have far too many excuses as to why you can not be a father and MONEY should not be one of them.

 

[milspecgirl]

Did you somehow read a different thread?

no- I can tell he is just wanting to get out of the financial obligation and pretty much deny his responsibilities. However, even with that being the case, why bully dad into stepping up to the plate and pretending to care and be a dad? It isn't going to help the child any. We tell people on here all the time that you can't FORCE someone to be a parent. He doesn't want to be a parent- for whatever reason. It isn't going to make it any better on the child if he is FORCED to be one. I would much rather see the child with someone who loves them and wants them than with a parent who can't take care of them and just doesn't care.

It is his responsibility to be a parent to this child. But, is it in the child's best interest to force him to accept the responsibility when the child is the one who is going to suffer?

The financial responsibility is the only one that can be forced on him. He wanted to know how to get out of that. Simply put- he can't, short of an adoption.

So, why try to force the guy to man up? He isn't going to, doesn't want to, doesn't think he can, whatever. Those reasons are his and he will have to deal with the fall out from the child later, but I don't think forcing him to be a parent when he doesn't want to is best for the child.

 

[PQN]

Michael -- If you and the mother agree, grandma can adopt the child. You will need an attorney to make sure it is done correctly (adoption is never a do it yourself project). Contact an attorney in grandma's county, many will do a free 15-30 minute consult on the phone. People place their children for adoption for many reasons. With your diagnosis combined with the facts that you are not stable (per you) and that the child's primary caregiver has been grandma, adoption may be the best option for a child.

 

[Michael_xx]

Thank you to the people who are actually helping out.

and it's not actually adoption that I was looking for but a transfer of custodial rights. I'll contact a paralegal on monday in her county for further information on the matter.

As far as that goes should I call the bar of associates?

 

[Proserpina]

Thank you to the people who are actually helping out.

and it's not actually adoption that I was looking for but a transfer of custodial rights. I'll contact a paralegal on monday in her county for further information on the matter.

As far as that goes should I call the bar of associates?

You understand that a paralegal cannot offer legal advice, right?

Call your State's Bar Association who will provide you with a referral to an attorney.

I suggest you take no further tantrums (I missed your earlier diatribe, because I apparently make you sick ) and FOCUS.

 

[milspecgirl]

granting her custody is NOT going to get you out of child support

 

[liandrajade]

Thank you to the people who are actually helping out.

and it's not actually adoption that I was looking for but a transfer of custodial rights. I'll contact a paralegal on monday in her county for further information on the matter.

As far as that goes should I call the bar of associates?

SMH...what do you think "transferring your custodial rights" is? You are not getting it are you? Either you stick up and be dad or you give up COMPLETELY and let the grandparent adopt and relinquish you rights altogether.

Poor child...

 

[Michael_xx]

You understand that a paralegal cannot offer legal advice, right?

Call your State's Bar Association who will provide you with a referral to an attorney.

I suggest you take no further tantrums (I missed your earlier diatribe, because I apparently make you sick ) and FOCUS.

Call it a tantrum if you want but there's a lot of truth in the matter. Realising that a person is not the best for their child is hard to do and so many people let their pride get in the way of doing the best for the child that they "love". If people actually took the initiative to put their children first rather than their pride and refusal to admit that they're not capable of something a lot of children will be happier. This is why Child Protective Services exist and why so many children are yanked from their parents household (if they're lucky).

Just keeping a roof over someone's head is not enough to raise a child. A child. A child needs a parent that will be able to give them what they need, love attention, food, shelter, disiapline, guidence, protection. If the parent is not capable of doing this then the child will either grow to hate them.

Perfect example my dad was a long hall trucker. He lived in the same house as me and I didn't know who he was until I was 8. My mom was so emotionally unstable that she drove me to several of my suicide attempts. My sister would constantly be moving back in with my parents because her power kept getting turned off, she has two small children and CPS has come very close to taking them away.

Personally I have my medication will only subdue a lot of my mental illness but they won't ellimnate them. A child doesn't need to be living or even involved with a parent that is unrational, unpredictable, unstable, self-violent etc.

You might think it's perfectly fine to let your pride keep your judgment clouded by what's really going on but I like to put people more important thanmyself first.

 

[Proserpina]

Call it a tantrum if you want but there's a lot of truth in the matter. Realising that a person is not the best for their child is hard to do and so many people let their pride get in the way of doing the best for the child that they "love". If people actually took the initiative to put their children first rather than their pride and refusal to admit that they're not capable of something a lot of children will be happier. This is why Child Protective Services exist and why so many children are yanked from their parents household (if they're lucky).

Just keeping a roof over someone's head is not enough to raise a child. A child. A child needs a parent that will be able to give them what they need, love attention, food, shelter, disiapline, guidence, protection. If the parent is not capable of doing this then the child will either grow to hate them.

Perfect example my dad was a long hall trucker. He lived in the same house as me and I didn't know who he was until I was 8. My mom was so emotionally unstable that she drove me to several of my suicide attempts. My sister would constantly be moving back in with my parents because her power kept getting turned off, she has two small children and CPS has come very close to taking them away.

Personally I have my medication will only subdue a lot of my mental illness but they won't ellimnate them. A child doesn't need to be living or even involved with a parent that is unrational, unpredictable, unstable, self-violent etc.

You might think it's perfectly fine to let your pride keep your judgment clouded by what's really going on but I like to put people more important thanmyself first.

Michael - seriously, you need to focus.

Let's recap:

Signing over custody - even if it's possible - does not get you out of paying child support. You will still be responsible for financially supporting your child.

The only way to get out of paying is by someone else adopting the child but this will not happen without Mom's consent.