HELP - Married and my husband is in arrears

[stealth2]

Will you SHUT THE F**K UP WITH THIS HORSE****!!!!

Once again, you are wrong. Just because YOU BELIEVE this is how it should be does NOT mean that is how it is. Period!! You uneducated people just don't learn.

<snip>

God Sarah, just shut up and open a book and educate yourself.

Dude - you are the LAST person who should be telling people to educate themselves before they post Or "how it is". You have consistently posted inaccurate information to people looking for answers because you yourself are unable to be bothered to look up what the correct answer is. I have yet to see a single useful post from you - it's either incorrect info or ranting. Grow up and cut it out already.

 

[brisgirl825]

Will you SHUT THE F**K UP WITH THIS HORSE****!!!!

Once again, you are wrong. Just because YOU BELIEVE this is how it should be does NOT mean that is how it is. Period!! You uneducated people just don't learn.



Wrong! It's THEIR asset. So what if he never uses it? Thousands of people have bank accounts they don't use. Usually to collect interest. But since you have no $$$, you can't relate to that.



WRONG!!! "They"? Who's name is on the deed? THAT'S who's house it is. Who pays the mortgage doesn't matter. Get a clue.



Wrong! Who the f**k are you to tell everyone else that's "how it should be"? Married couples can do whatever they want with THEIR OWN finances, etc. The way you and your husband choose to do things is your choice. But then, you are the one collecting support, so you are biased to begin with.



Wrong...again! How many times did you have to retake classes? Were you like a 4th year senior? It's "part of the package" but you do not "take on" everything. SHOW US LAW THAT STATES THAT!!! STATE IT!



And that is certainly YOUR choice. Please, we don't need you shoving your steaming hot pile of crap onto us. You're like the religious right in this country. Keep it to yourself, please!



And now we know the reason low-paying jobs exist. To employ uneducated folk like you who just do NOT learn. YOU are a freaking moron. Really, you are! Actually, she IS smart. She is protecting HER ASSETS!!! THINGS THAT BELONG TO HER!!!!!!!!!!!

And who the f**k are you to accuse this woman of not being smart? Have you read your ignorant, opinionated rants on here? YOU're the type of woman most guys SHOULD stay away from like the flu.



You have ALOT to learn before you start criticizing ANYONE. Actually, women with thinking like you are typical. Typical bitter, angry women who are jealous because your ex has moved on and is with someone who is financially more secure than you are. That's YOUR fault. You are NOT entitled to the belongs of the new spouse. PERIOD. Stop sounding like a dumb broad and get it through your uneducated, barely-passed-your-GED head.

God Sarah, just shut up and open a book and educate yourself.

I just love how you think you know me. My husband will be adopting my kids, so obviously I am not just a money hungry woman. If I were, I wouldn't want to lose the support that you seem to think I need to have to live on. I am not jealous of the ex, I am perfectly happy and I am proud of the life that my husband and I made for ourselves and our kids.
I am not the religious right. I happen to have no firm religious beliefs and what little religion I do keep, is not that of any Christian sect. I also happen to pretty far left in my policial and social views as well.

This woman isn't talking about protecting the bank account that she had before they met or the car she owned before they were married. She is talking about assets that have been joint ventures. The only reason they're trying to get him out of owning any of it is so they won't have to deal with the law coming after him for being a dead beat. I love how I am biased bc I reveive support but you're not biased for taking up for a guy who won't pay support. I mean that's exactly what you're doing right? Not supporting your kids and crying about how biomom is a bad mother. If you didn't want to pay support you should've kept your dick in your pants or stayed married until the kids turned 18.

My only bias is how my kids are treated by thier sm, who is a bitch to them. Do I think all sp are bad, no. My husband is an incredible father to them and he's a sp. I don't feel it's the responsibility of the sp to take care of kids that aren't theirs if they don't want to. However, that doesn't mean that they can come in and take away a child's ability to be taken care of by their bio parent.

BTW, I did graduate high school, on time, and I am currently taking classes at the local university.

Sarah

 

[stealth2]

Actually Stealth, I have done alot of research on these issues in my affected state, Ohio. And I continue to research. Plus I have consulted with a few attorneys who have applauded me for the research I've done -- especially with the situation I am in and how I would like to pursue it. Maybe you're just not familiar with what's happening in Ohio.

One thing I am NOT doing is passing my opinions off as fact or "how they should be" blah blah blah. Like Sarah, who I responded to.

And since OP isn't in Ohio, Ohio law is totally moot to this thread.

 

[dannysmyboy]

Oh stop with this crap already! G-damn, this is such big pile of horse****, I have to bring a dump truck!

How in the hell is the new spouse "butting in" by protecting their own assets? A new husband/wife HAS EVERY RIGHT to protect THEIR ASSESTS from their spouse's ex & someone else's children. You might not like to hear that, but deal already. Your bias and anger is clouding your ability to read clearly.

My wife, for example, has every right to protect her assets from my children. That's not denying anything. Period!

Again, the new spouse has no responsibility to support someone's else children. Especially for the lame ass reason of 'just because' they married someone who has a family from a prior relationship.

Go get them legalcuriosity!!

I'm a stepmother, and I own my own home (before marriage) and have my own income. I pay 100% of the mortgage and he pays 65% of our household bills, utilities, telephone, etc. He has 2 kids. My husband has his own income, bank accounts, etc. We don't have anything in our name together. He pays CS, 50% of med/dental coverage.That sounds very fair to me, since I'm just one person and they are 3. Now, we are not trying to "hide" anything from the X. Because my stuff is my stuff. If he loses his job, then "he" has to figure out how he's going to pay CS, even if he has to get 2 less paying jobs to do it, or go to jail. Why should my assets/income come into play??? He has life insurance with me as the beneficiary, only on the premise that I will give the money to his kids when they are of age. When his kids become of age, then he will change the beneficiary to them. His 401K benefits are also in my name as the beneficiary, until they turn 18. This is also stated in his will. So if you don't trust your new wife to honor your wishes, then don't get married. I wouldn't even think about keeping the insurance money for myself. There are stepmothers/fathers who aren't out to "f*** the bio parents over.

 

[dannysmyboy]

See, once again, I need to r-e-p-e-a-t myself.

You are TRULY an idiot. No wonder you have the thinking you do.
This is NOT about standing up for your kids. Did you even get your GED? I mean I can't image someone lacking that much sense even graduated high school. This issue of the thread has been mentioned several times. You continue to miss that because your bias is preventing you from reading AND understanding that.

Why don't you better yourself so you can have the nice things that your ex obviously does. Stuff YOU think YOU are entitled to, even though they are not yours and you did nothing to get them.

It's pretty funny reading when ex's come on here and are all pissed off because they're ex has moved on in their life and are actually better off because they're married to someone who's better off. And you think you're entitled to THEIR new found "wealth", per se. Amazing.

Oh, BTW, that's right, my kids are NOT with me. Because the biomom decided a few months ago -- after 7 years and a failed marriage to her soon-to-be-ex!!!!! that I should be supporting the kids. This wasn't an issue for the past 7 years. Neither was establishing paternity. Nor was even recognizing the fact they had another dad. Her ex is the only 'dad' they know. Well, she is about to get a real shock when I present my paperwork and arguments that I will be arguing the constitutionality of paying child support to her based on new laws in this state. And I will fight it all the way to the Ohio Supreme Court if need be. And it's in favor that I will win. And it'll be another shock to her, when she gets pissed, that she won't be able to get back support either because of when paternity was established and the amendment was signed into law. I still help them out when they need it, but HER agenda is obvious. She doesn't care about them knowing me and vice versa. If that was an issue, she would've done this years ago. It's all about $$$$$ and nothing more. But because she's broke and is getting divorced, uneducated & his income isn't there anymore, she thinks I should be paying NOW. And she let's me see them whenever I want. Oh, gee...how nice of her. Now that they're almost 7!!!!

So, SlowSarah, do you think SHE is entitled to ASSETS OF MY WIFE??? Hell no she's not!!! And neither are my kids. They are not my wife's. While my wife is very nice to them, welcomes them with open arms and holds no ill towards them (like some step-parents might), there is no way the ignorant, uneducated biomom with an agenda should get any of my wife's stuff because I am better off than the biomom (I've always been better off than the biomom).

You sound like her. You want things to go the way YOU think they should and not they way they ARE GOING TO. Deal with it.

LegalCuriousity. I'm in your corner, 100%. Tell it how it is...Why do the stepparents get the bad rap in this forum.....Some of us have provided wonderful homes for "their kids" and we still get kicked in the mouth.

 

[dannysmyboy]

My husband and I own things jointly and that's how things should be. You marry someone and you take on everything...their debt, assests, and children. And if we were to die, the children would have equal claim to our things...the children we have together and my children. I'd hate to think that if I died, my kids could not lay claim to my assest to help with their future.


Sarah

WTF: No that's not how things should be. That's what you "chose"....People can choose whatever they want in their relationships/marriage. What credentials do you have to say "that's how things should be"???

 

[djohnson]

I don't think it's that all step parents get a bad rap. You have to realize what a majority are doing in this circumstance is getting out of paying what is rightfully child support. If NCP husband is self employed, they list wife as owner and husband doesn't really 'work', so child support is set at a minimum while CP is struggling to get by. NCP and new wife are living the high life and all because it's 'her' assets and no one can touch them. I'm all in agreement for protecting the new spouse also. But many here abuse that to the extreme. I think that is what most people are disagreeing about. No one says the SP should lose everything, just that the child should be taken care of too.

 

[dannysmyboy]

I don't think it's that all step parents get a bad rap. You have to realize what a majority are doing in this circumstance is getting out of paying what is rightfully child support. If NCP husband is self employed, they list wife as owner and husband doesn't really 'work', so child support is set at a minimum while CP is struggling to get by. NCP and new wife are living the high life and all because it's 'her' assets and no one can touch them. I'm all in agreement for protecting the new spouse also. But many here abuse that to the extreme. I think that is what most people are disagreeing about. No one says the SP should lose everything, just that the child should be taken care of too.

I agree, children should come first and there are NCPs that hide their assets. There are also CP that don't get off their @ss and support themselves, nor their children. Child support is to help the CP keep the kids at the level they are accustomed to prior to the divorce. This is not always the case, and many CPs believe that they deserve the piece of the pie, when some of them, themselves continue to pick losers while the NCP moves on with her/his life. I've read many times where the CP deserves whatever the X has attained with or without the new wife. When are they going to take responsiblity that they also made these kids. Just seems like us SPs get accused of stealing the family, or try to blackmail the kids into hating their mother, that we are trying to take over. Frankly, I've raised my own kids and am done.....I give advice and guidance when asked. If my stepkids step in front of a bus, I will push them out of the way, but I will not go bankrupt, so the CP can continue to live off of me or my assets.

 

[djohnson]

I completely agree, but there are so many different circumstances that many here can be right in their own way. It depends on the circumstances of the children and both parents and the whys of it. Everyone is coming from their own personal situation, when everyone really needs to stop and see the many differences. The single mother working two jobs and child has leukemia and the dr's bills are outrageous and she can't get the good care because of it. When father is making well over 6 figures under his spouses name and contributes 50.00 a month. That wouldn't be fair. But the CP that depends on the government to feed the kids while they lay on their butt all day and takes NCP back to court every opportunity, shouldn't be allowed to have access to nothing. IT's always different.

 

[dannysmyboy]

I completely agree, but there are so many different circumstances that many here can be right in their own way. It depends on the circumstances of the children and both parents and the whys of it. Everyone is coming from their own personal situation, when everyone really needs to stop and see the many differences. The single mother working two jobs and child has leukemia and the dr's bills are outrageous and she can't get the good care because of it. When father is making well over 6 figures under his spouses name and contributes 50.00 a month. That wouldn't be fair. But the CP that depends on the government to feed the kids while they lay on their butt all day and takes NCP back to court every opportunity, shouldn't be allowed to have access to nothing. IT's always different.

Totally agree!! What needs to happen is severe penalities to those NCPs that don't step up to the plate and take responsibility. Until the legal system and our "so called" politicians do something to protect our children, this scenario will continue over and over and over..... On the other foot, responsible NCPs get screwed many times over as well. It's a no win situation, either way it's looked at...

 

[abstract99]

Actually Stealth, I have done alot of research on these issues in my affected state, Ohio. And I continue to research. Plus I have consulted with a few attorneys who have applauded me for the research I've done -- especially with the situation I am in and how I would like to pursue it. Maybe you're just not familiar with what's happening in Ohio.

One thing I am NOT doing is passing my opinions off as fact or "how they should be" blah blah blah. Like Sarah, who I responded to.

If you are gonna offer advice and you are gonna do research to look it up you should make sure you are looking at the OP's state laws not your own.

 

[abstract99]

This argument is soooo stupid! If the parent dies, unless they have in writing otherwize, their spouse will get EVERYTHING!!! If in the event that they are in arrears when they die THEIR OWN personal assets can be collected to cover the debt but it is EXTREMELY hard to get a judge to order that items that belong to BOTH the SP and the BP to be confiscated to cover the debt. Furthermore. If the BP dies and is (I dunno... lets say) 4,000-8,000 dollars in arrears, the chances of them taking a whole house to cover the debt is slim to none. Chances are that the arrears will be reomved from the life insurance policy if there was one.