Hired a new attny now

[AmyKearsing]

What is the name of your state? Indiana

well I have hired a new attorney in the state of Indiana to do this. My ex has asked for a 60 day contuence and my new attny found out it's due to the fact his attny is having surgery on Monday AM and will be out of work for about 2-3 weeks.

This new attny for me is more cut-throat, which is what I need right now, so I feel very confident with her. I am still nervous, but I know that my boys are best off with me and I have done no wrong to them, I have letters from the counseler, peditrician, teachers and everyone else that I am a wonderful parent and never have they been worried of any issues. So I am becoming more confident in this case. I will keep you updated.

I do want to say that I think it is so unfair that a person who has done no wrong has to defend themselves, mom or dad, and pay this kind of money. I mean I already shelled out 1,000 and now 2,000 for the new one. I mean, I think if the courts say there is no case, then the ex should pay my attny fees. It's just not right, I mean he could just keep doing this over and over again.

 

[styl4u64]

I Agree

It's awful we, as good mothers have to appeal to a court of law to 'keep' our children as we always have! And the money we have to pay to do this is outrageous! But the feeling of being 'in limbo' and anything can happen without the orders from the judge is worse! Good luck to you.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

His attorney having surgery is a perfectly reasonable reason for a continuance, and BTW he can ask for a continuance for medical reasons and you have no RIGHT to know about his medical issues. It gives you more time to obtain counsel. As for your other coments, a lot of things happened on your watch, your child being sexually molested by a baby sitter is a very serious matter, especially when the father could have cared for the child instead and did at times, it demonstrates questional judgement on your part no matter what other may say long after the fact. Then, as if you didn't learn from that lesson, you let your younger child go missing on your watch, so why do you believe you are the better parent?

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? Indiana

well I have hired a new attorney in the state of Indiana to do this. My ex has asked for a 60 day contuence and my new attny found out it's due to the fact his attny is having surgery on Monday AM and will be out of work for about 2-3 weeks.

This new attny for me is more cut-throat, which is what I need right now, so I feel very confident with her. I am still nervous, but I know that my boys are best off with me and I have done no wrong to them, I have letters from the counseler, peditrician, teachers and everyone else that I am a wonderful parent and never have they been worried of any issues. So I am becoming more confident in this case. I will keep you updated.

I do want to say that I think it is so unfair that a person who has done no wrong has to defend themselves, mom or dad, and pay this kind of money. I mean I already shelled out 1,000 and now 2,000 for the new one. I mean, I think if the courts say there is no case, then the ex should pay my attny fees. It's just not right, I mean he could just keep doing this over and over again.

Again, as I have told you before you have obviously cared for your children well and have followed through on the steps that any good parent would do to help your children deal with problems that have occurred in their lives. Don't allow anyone to tell you differently. CPS has already agreed with you.

Unfortunately dad can keep this up...its sad..but its reality. However it is still possible that the judge will eventually make dad pay your attorney fees.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Again, as I have told you before you have obviously cared for your children well and have followed through on the steps that any good parent would do to help your children deal with problems that have occurred in their lives. Don't allow anyone to tell you differently. CPS has already agreed with you.

Unfortunately dad can keep this up...its sad..but its reality. However it is still possible that the judge will eventually make dad pay your attorney fees.

Or the court may order a change in custody, dad is not at fault here. Why should dad lose visitation with his children because mom continues to move further away because she cannot provide her children safe supervision. Courts generally don't reward the errant parent, at the cost to the injured parent.

 

[LdiJ]

Again, you had permission for every move that you made and you have acted in a proper and timely way to deal with any problems that have arisen in your children's lives. Listen to your attorney.

 

[VeronicaGia]

It's awful we, as good mothers have to appeal to a court of law to 'keep' our children as we always have! And the money we have to pay to do this is outrageous! But the feeling of being 'in limbo' and anything can happen without the orders from the judge is worse! Good luck to you.

Oh brother! I think it's equally awful that dad have to pay to see their kids and mothers are typically automatically awarded custody for absolutely no reason! Why do mothers have to be proven unfit and dads are automatically presumed to be visitors and financial supporters?

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Again, you had permission for every move that you made and you have acted in a proper and timely way to deal with any problems that have arisen in your children's lives. Listen to your attorney.

Have you noticed that dad is objecting?

 

[casa]

What is the name of your state? Indiana

well I have hired a new attorney in the state of Indiana to do this. My ex has asked for a 60 day contuence and my new attny found out it's due to the fact his attny is having surgery on Monday AM and will be out of work for about 2-3 weeks.

This new attny for me is more cut-throat, which is what I need right now, so I feel very confident with her. I am still nervous, but I know that my boys are best off with me and I have done no wrong to them, I have letters from the counseler, peditrician, teachers and everyone else that I am a wonderful parent and never have they been worried of any issues. So I am becoming more confident in this case. I will keep you updated.

I do want to say that I think it is so unfair that a person who has done no wrong has to defend themselves, mom or dad, and pay this kind of money. I mean I already shelled out 1,000 and now 2,000 for the new one. I mean, I think if the courts say there is no case, then the ex should pay my attny fees. It's just not right, I mean he could just keep doing this over and over again.

Trust me- I relate. I go through this every year or so...and never had a child missing OR molested on my parenting time. But as long as the other parent wants to use the courts and money (under the guise of a concerned parent) I'll have to keep going through it. I've spent triple what you have, and am a single parent!

 

[AmyKearsing]

I want to say 'met' that every single post I have read on here that you have commented on you have put down and disrespected immaturally. I will also let you know that the fact that my oldest was sexually abused by a 14 year old babysitter is not going to be brought into any evidence. b/c fact is when I moved here LEGALLY to NY from Ohio, dad (ex) went through court and we modified custody and he had no complaints at all then and this was AFTER the abuse happened.

Problem is, he objects NOW, 5 years down the road, and I got my old calanders recently and counted the days that he has spent with the children since our divorce, so in that 5 years, he saw them a grand total of 52 days! 52 days in 5 years, how great is that? I mean some weekends he asked for me to pick them up a day early b/c there was a party he needed to go to. And now when he has them they sit at babysitters most of the time. Either his mother, or new wife has them while he's working or doing whatever else he does.

I am not saying for the courts to tell him how bad of a daddy his is or isn't. But they shouldn't take the boys away from me their mother, the only person who has been with them since day one. The only source of comfort, trust, and love that they have had from day one. How about the fact that my ex slapped my oldest in the mouth when he was 4 b/c he was watching the Simpson's and he wouldn't stop talking, which is why i finially left. Or how about the fact he held a loaded gun to my stomach when I was 8 months pregnant? Met, you sound like a bitter person who lost their children for the actions of yourself. When you do things wrong you pay, and a lepard doesn't change his spots.

The children are the REAL sufferers here, the fact that my son cries and tells me how much he does not want to leave me, my husband or his little sister, that is the real pain.

 

[nextwife]

I agree, VG. It's actually pretty outragous that the only reason a dad normally gets to parent his children is IF the mom is proven UNFIT. Dad's should have the equal right to parent their child and it should not require mom to have done anything wrong- it should be because they are ALSO the parent.. MY cousin and his ex stayed within a reasonable driving distance from each other and each had years where they alternated custody and visitation- and their daughter is now 24 and a most delightful, accomplished young lady who has a great relationship with both her parents.

 

[AmyKearsing]

BTW rmet too just FYI good ol' daddy couldn't watch the kids that weekend because there was a bachalor party on Friday night and he "would have a bad hangover on Saturday" and didn't want to have to take care of them if he was sick. So I hired a 19 yr old girl WHO WATCHED THEM BEFORE to babysit, she brought her 14 yr old brother b/c it was 3 children for 10 hours straight. I knew the family, I am a nurse and at the time was at a Derm. office and worked w/ the oldest sister for over a year.

I have been through the guilt of a parent who's child was hurt and couldn't do anything to stop it. I have went to counseling to deal with that guilt as a mom has. You have no right to blame or put me down for that. Don't you think I would have stopped it if I could have? It happens all the time in this sick world....and it's wrong for the people who do it and the parents who raise their child and they do it b/c the parents have no idea how they are feeling inside. I called the police that minute, prosicuted the child, and parents, hired a PI to investigate which made him admit his wrong doing finially after a lie detector test was set up, then I looked into a civil case. My son has been in counseling, school programs, and has 100% of my love and support and he knows what the kid did was wrong and it was no one's fault but that kid!! Who are you to try and make me feel guilty. God forbid this happen to anyone you love or care about when you need a sitter, or a neighborhood boy/girl wants to have some fun, a teacher, kid on a bus, God forbid it.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Please,
You have not read all my posts to comment on my maturity, you are only angry because you know that I am pointing out the very same things you fear your ex will bring up in court. As I said in the first question, you have reason to be concerned. Things will be brought up because they happened on your watch and continue to happen on your watch. You can't complain about who watches the children on his watch, be it baby sitters or his spouse when he works if there has been no harm. You complain that he has not visited with the children much in the last 5 years, who's fault is that? You were the one continually moving the children further away. Now he has said enough is enough and he is seeking a change in custody because of your neglect. He has that right. Being a nurse doesn't make you immune to responsibility, nor does being a mother give you greater entitlement. Whine and cry about me all you want and blame me but it doesn't change your responsibility nor his rights. You had originally moved away so you could have the support of family, where were they when your child was molested?

 

[LdiJ]

BTW rmet too just FYI good ol' daddy couldn't watch the kids that weekend because there was a bachalor party on Friday night and he "would have a bad hangover on Saturday" and didn't want to have to take care of them if he was sick. So I hired a 19 yr old girl WHO WATCHED THEM BEFORE to babysit, she brought her 14 yr old brother b/c it was 3 children for 10 hours straight. I knew the family, I am a nurse and at the time was at a Derm. office and worked w/ the oldest sister for over a year.

I have been through the guilt of a parent who's child was hurt and couldn't do anything to stop it. I have went to counseling to deal with that guilt as a mom has. You have no right to blame or put me down for that. Don't you think I would have stopped it if I could have? It happens all the time in this sick world....and it's wrong for the people who do it and the parents who raise their child and they do it b/c the parents have no idea how they are feeling inside. I called the police that minute, prosicuted the child, and parents, hired a PI to investigate which made him admit his wrong doing finially after a lie detector test was set up, then I looked into a civil case. My son has been in counseling, school programs, and has 100% of my love and support and he knows what the kid did was wrong and it was no one's fault but that kid!! Who are you to try and make me feel guilty. God forbid this happen to anyone you love or care about when you need a sitter, or a neighborhood boy/girl wants to have some fun, a teacher, kid on a bus, God forbid it.

I know how frustrating all of this is but please relax. If dad didn't object to your move and the move and visitation occurred AFTER the molestation incident dad is not going to get anywhere attempting to use it now....5 years later. You have also provided your son with the necessary help to deal with the situation. You have done NOTHING wrong.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

I know how frustrating all of this is but please relax. If dad didn't object to your move and the move and visitation occurred AFTER the molestation incident dad is not going to get anywhere attempting to use it now....5 years later. You have also provided your son with the necessary help to deal with the situation. You have done NOTHING wrong.

Please stop telling people how a judge will rule!