Holiday Schedule

[LdiJ]

If Saturday is the 1st of the month, that's the first weekend. If the last day of the month falls on Saturday, it isn't the first weekend of the month.

Not everyone defines it that way...and some orders don't define it at all...hence the disagreements.

 

[CJane]

But that's the thing. Eow is just part of a full parenting plan. Mine will be eow but I'm going to have close to 40% Other plans like week on - week off are 50/50 plans but still eow. Maybe there is just a misconception about it?

There's a lot of "I'm NOT GOING TO BE AN EVERY OTHER WEEKEND FATHER/MOTHER!!!!!"

You know what? Fine. DON'T BE. Go have lunch with your kids at school. Go to their games/concerts/practices/boy scout meetings/youth group meetings/coach their sports/etc.

One CAN be a very involved parent when one really only has 1 overnight during the week and every other weekend. *I was an incredibly involved parent when that was my visitation plan. In fact, I've ALWAYS been the more involved parent. My ex having an order that granted him 80% of the time with the kids NEVER attended their activities, and was a LOT less involved in their day to day lives than I was.

 

[TheGeekess]

Not everyone defines it that way...and some orders don't define it at all...hence the disagreements.

Which is why I'm suggesting defining it.

 

[Ohiogal]

If Saturday is the 1st of the month, that's the first weekend. If the last day of the month falls on Saturday, it isn't the first weekend of the month.

I always went by Fridays since weekends start on Friday.

 

[TheGeekess]

I always went by Fridays since weekends start on Friday.

That works, too. As long as it's spelled out in the order.

 

[longislandguy]

Hi everyone,

Court is done for now(Child support is still an upcoming issue, but that's for another thread and i'm happy to pay what ever is ordered) We agreed upon EOW with the start date put in the order, Friday 7pm - monday 9am or start of school(daughters mother wanted friday dinners with our daughter, i understand that) I ended up with just under 40% custody and joint legal, IMO, thats a win...Plus a few other awesome things i wanted, The Weekends AND the tuesday overnight continue over the summer, one parent picks up the other drops off, if i don't inform her of my 3 summer weeks by May 15th, i don't lose them, Even/odd child birthday unless we agree, ROFR 12hrs or overnight, PArental label, etc.

We also settled on an actual Holiday schedule, but at that point i was just so happy with Joint legal and 40% of overnights, my head was spinning and the lawyers were talking so fast, i'm not sure what i agreed to. I know we agree on using Fathers day WEEKEND and Mothers day WEEKEND in the order, but the rest of the holidays are just a blur!

My lawyer is the one typing up the order that we both agreed upon, so i'll know next weekend what it actually says!

Thank you guys for all your help!

 

[stealth2]

Thanks for the update. As long as you are satisfied with the outcome, it's a positive!

 

[longislandguy]

Thanks for the update. As long as you are satisfied with the outcome, it's a positive!

40% is great for me, we had a previous order that i haven't mentioned yet, in which i only had EOW and 3 weeks over the summer(almost 20%), everything else was 'as agreed' with no specificity...Originally i applied for a modification because of the non-specific nature of that order, but was shot down because there was no 'significant change of circumstances'...Me applying for modification annoyed my ex so she filed for a Temporary order of protection claiming i was drinking and driving with our daughter in the car, completely false....She requested with the courts, that that motion be dismissed and it was pretty quickly....

After the Temporary order of protection was dismissed she filed the same thing again, except as a 'contempt' order(maybe she got legal advice that it should have been a contempt case all along?) and i countered with an order for modification...

The end result being joint legal custody and just about doubling my time with our daughter, plus about 5 pages of well worded extras!! It's a huge win that could have been a huge lose if the judge had even looked at her contempt claim.