Hoping for answers

[user13180]

Thanks again mikesonlyangel but I have some things to say to oberauerdorf. Where do I start? so much 'useful' and 'knowledgable' things were said... I want to rise above your level of sh*t but I feel compelled to respond...

First

this guy is just scum. He hasnt made the effort to see his son so I want to know what my legal rights are.

Wow... I wasnt aware that there are SOO many children that have a deadbeat for a father because the fathers are too ignorrant to get their heads out of their @ss! Thanks for info... learned something new everyday!

How can I get his parental rights taken away so I wont have to deal with him in the future?

You can't. A judge can, however, based solely on what you posted (oh yes, I KNOW, there is ALWAYS more to the story) you do not have sufficient ground to terminate his parental rights, even if you did have that power.

Again... wow! Such humor and wit. And thanks for letting me know EXACTLY what the judge would say... I wish I had your physic abilities

I want to nail him for support but I dont want him to get visitation

Sorry little girl, the law doesn't allow you to "NAIL" anyone. At the least, IF you ask for support, he will be given visitation, some form of custody AND all the rights you now enjoy as a parent.

First of all... I'm not a little girl. Second of all, last time I checked... visitation and support are two totally different things. Just because a father pays support does NOT guarantee that he gets visitation. But who am i to question such intellegence?

Is there a time frame that goes by with the father not being involved with the child, that terminates his parental rights?[/

No. There is a timeframe that must pass for abandonment to be a grounds for termination, but in light of recent state supreme court rulings, even that timeframe is subject to change depending on the effort YOU make to contact the father.

All I've done is mailed him an announcement and pictures so he knows. I guess you must be thinking that I talk to the jerk everyday... the only time I have (or will) contacted him since he left was with the pictures. My question was in regards to the abandonment... I just wanted to know what the timeframe was. You could have kept your sassy little answers to yourself.

As for a father establishing a relationship with HIS child, how does that mess with the child's head? Oh, because you are not in control

HAHA.. You're damn right... I WILL be in control of my son until he's able and mature enough to make his own decisions. Opps.. I'm sorry. The baby is 7 weeks old... I guess he DOES know whats best for him, huh? And just an FYI... this guy disappears in and out of everyones life... INCLUDING HIS FIRST SON FROM A PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIIP... he left that kid when the kid was 2 years old...the child is now 8 !!!! But again,. who am I to question you (the God)? I guess a 2 year old wouldnt get screwed up from knowing, loving, and seeing his father EVERYDAY to one day waking up and never seeing him again. ... you're right.

Well sweetie, guess what? The moment you decided to "NAIL HIM" you lost control over everything in that child's life. Now it's up to the court.

It seems to me that you are insinuating that I have already filed a case with Domestic Relations... I thought that you would have known that I was DEBATING on going for support... debating as in thinking about it, pondering it, questioning it... =)

So decide on your own. Your crap isn't worth anymore of my time.

Thanks for the allowance and approval of being able to decide on my own. I was planning on it and I have.

P.S. If my 'crap' isnt worth your time, STOP READING IT!!! and sure as he11... dont respond!

Have a peachy keen day!

 

[n_and]

Oh, boy.

 

[stealth2]

And just an FYI... this guy disappears in and out of everyones life... INCLUDING HIS FIRST SON FROM A PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIIP... he left that kid when the kid was 2 years old...the child is now 8 !!!!

And again - you were apparently aware of this situation when you lived with him, slept with him, and received a proposal from him (which I'm presuming you accepted). You are every bit as culpable as he is for this mess.

I'm sorry you don't like the responses you're getting. But I find it hard to have sympathy for anyone who allows their kids to get screwed with like this - and you have allowed it, both with your daughter and now this infant. My sympathies lie with them.

 

[user13180]

to N-and

First of all... its a Hypothetical question about him coming back in 5 years... if he follows the same footsteps that he has with his first son, then I know I'll never see him again. So I guess the 99.9% would be a guesstimate!!

And tell me this... did your parents plan to have you?!?! i highly doubt it. Things happen. i didnt anticipate on getting pregnant... birth control WAS used. I now have a beautiful baby and I wouldnt change that for the world...

Or would you rather I have had an abortion JUST BECAUSE i knew that the father was made of?!?!?!

And STEALTH... my kids are NOT screwed up. My daughter (who witnessed the life I led with the ex) is 7 years old, skipped first grade, and is working ahead of her classmates... she has proven to me as well as her school that she can handle a fourth graders homework. Dont tell me that my kids are screwed up.


IT ALL DEPENDS ON THE PARENTING

DIdnt your parents ever teach you that if you have nothing good to say... then say nothing at all!?!?!?! Well, its a shame because I was a good parent and at least my daughter understands the concept of that

 

[n_and]

And tell me this... did your parents plan to have you?!?!

uhhh....yeah, they did. That's why I'm here. They had me at 27 and 28, certainly loved, provided for, and planned.

Or would you rather I have had an abortion JUST BECAUSE i knew that the father was made of?!?!?!

Yes. Save the child from your stupidity and selfishness.

Dont tell me that my kids are screwed up.

Then I'll tell you. You're kids are going to get screwed up with all the stupid mistakes you made and they are paying for.

 

[stealth2]

Re: to N-and

And STEALTH... my kids are NOT screwed up. My daughter (who witnessed the life I led with the ex) is 7 years old, skipped first grade, and is working ahead of her classmates... she has proven to me as well as her school that she can handle a fourth graders homework. Dont tell me that my kids are screwed up.

"I have a 7 year old daughter who has had her heart broken by this man."

This isn't going to screw her up? Uh huh, okay. Just 'cause she can handle schoolwork a grade ahead doesn't make her emotionally healthy. Just FWIW.

As for parents deciding to have kids.... my parents planned both me and my brother. My ex and I planned both of ours. In fact, most everyone I know planned their kids - including the couple around the corner with 5.

 

[oberauerdorf]

Yep, my ex and I planned our first, but the second was a gift

 

[kbudd]

Mistakes are part of life.

User13180, why do you think that you have to explain yourself?

Okay, you made a mistake with regards to having a relationship with this guy. Move on with life.

Help your daughter gain confidence in herself, so she will not make the same mistake...

 

[n_and]

"He has another son who is 8 that he hasnt seen in 6 years. he doesnt pay the court ordered support for his first son and is currently over $9000 in arrears. He can't hold a job because partying has been more important. There has been verbal, emotional, and physical abuse. He was caught making out with a 14 year old (he's 24...gross)"


What made you think he would take care of your kid?
Don't mean to keep beating a dead horse, but...sometimes it's fun.

Ah, yes. And my boy-friend and I planned our child as well.

 

[user13180]

Well say what you want... my daughter is bright, beautiful, and smart as hell. If she had problems, I think I would have seen them already! And since I'm so "stupid", I'm sure someone else would have seen problems.

N-and...

Yes. Save the child from your stupidity and selfishness.

I think I did the responsible thing. Just because of who fathered my child is NOT a reason to go and kill an innocent baby! I personally think that THAT would have been the selfish thing to do!

I'm 27, own my own home, graduated from college, make a very decent earning.... and i'm raising two kids! the only mistakes I made were allowing the ex in my life. BUT.... I've apparently learned and I will never do anything remotely close to that again.

I came on here for advice... things were taken out of context from certain people who were veiwing these posts and now I am being attacked.

If the father wants to be part of the childs life, then he needs to be sober and do so. If not, I cant force it upon him. By coming to this site, I wanted to know what flood gates would be opened if I went to domestics. I was simply weighing the options.... good and bad. Incase you have forgotten, or just have been lucky enough to NOT be a single parent, its quite expensive to raise children. Daycare, formula, diapers, medical coverage... its not cheap. But you know what... ITS GOING TO BE WORTH IT IN THE END! but it would have been nice to have a little help from the father. So crucify me and condemn me for thinking about making a man step up to the plate for what he has done. But i am NOT, going to jeapordize or subject my son to any of the crap his father would have dished out. I absolutely refuse until a court makes me do so. The father knows the childs born... what he wishes to do with that information is completely in his hands.

So thanks for all your help... Ive decided to do nothing.

 

[kbudd]

Parent of the year award!

This award goes to n_and because she PLANNED a baby with her BOYFRIEND.

So I guess, MARRIAGE does not fit into the equation.

 

[n_and]

Go to hell for that comment

^Pre-marital sex...I'm already going. See you there!

I'm 27, own my own home, graduated from college, make a very decent earning.... and i'm raising two kids!

^Blah, Blah, Blah. Want my life story as well? I'm 21, in college, work part-time, own my own home as well - big freakin deal. A mortgage loan is not a hard thing to obtain.

I came on here for advice

^and you got it.

If the father wants to be part of the childs life, then he needs to be sober and do so.

^He became part of the boy's life when you spread your legs...and he wasn't sober then, either.

its quite expensive to raise children. Daycare, formula, diapers, medical coverage... its not cheap.

^Then perhaps next time you will plan to have a child like the rest of us.

So thanks for all your help

^Any time.


****And kbudd, I will repeat as I have many times, marriage is a piece of paper that costs a real lot of money to get rid of. Yes, the award does go to me. And the award for druggie of the year goes to you.

 

[kbudd]

Her accomplishments grow!

Not only did she plan to have a baby; she decided that since college is not hard enough for me let's bring a baby into the picture. Wow, that is great with college, part-time job, you really must have plenty of valuable time to spend with your child.

Maybe you should have picked a harder major, instead of popping a kid out.

 

[user13180]

N-and... tell me this, if your child was PLANNED, why didnt you get MARRIED before you decided to conceive?!?!?!

I thought the usual chain of events was marriage and THEN have a baby!!!!

and im curious... how old is your baby!?!?!?

HAHA... about the 'blah, blah, blah big deal'... tell me this, is your b-friend a waste of space or does he help pay the mortgage?!?!? EXACTLY... I DID IT ON MY OWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ahh.. the luxury of working part time. try being in my shoes before you sit here .... I"VE DONE EVERYTHING ON MY OWN WITH

 

[kbudd]

Just curious

How did I get the druggie award?

Or could you just not think of a good award?

I could help you if you wanted some funny awards.