I do not agree with the laws!

[AHA]

I am there with you on that one...the laws are ridiculous and women can really take advantage of men! My boyfriend slept with a women a year ago that wasn't on birth control unknown to him (of course he should have used protection too) and she got prego! It was a one night stand and she wants child support. Great deal for her...who makes $8 an hour and my boyfriend makes 100,000 G a year. So he is going to have to pay $1600 a month! He doesn't even know the kid, they never even had a relationship and he didn't want a child. The whole thing sucks. I think she saw $$ and decided to have a kid with daddy's money to support her. You do not need $1600 to raise a child!!! So insane! So that takes away from out future family as well...so what I am wondering is where are our rights.

Unprotected sex has consequences, you should be glad it only resulted in a child and not a killer disease. It is HIS choice to know or not to know his child, a relationship is not mandatory to produce a child and if he felt so strongly about not becoming a father he should have used every protection known to man. No one goes through pregnancy and painful childbirth just to get some cash from a stranger.
Since you are not one of the parents, you don't have a right in what happens between him and his child and it's mother. You had the right to not get involved with someone who has a kid he doesn't want but has to help support and you chose him and by that, this situation.
What really sucks in your story is that a little child will be growing up with(out) a dad that doesn't give a damn about him/her and all because of money.
It's a good thing some of us have better taste in men.

 

[stealth2]

Does anyone else find it amusing that the women whining about their men paying child support all spell "fiance" as "finance"?

 

[Reena9]

I agree with you that it is his responsibility, however, could you be just a little nicer. I came here trying to get support and people are just bitter. This is an extremely difficult time for me. I was planning a wedding before all this came to light. I think she is taking advantage of him, I really do. I think she wanted to have a child and wanted to know she would be well supported and she will..if it is his. That is still unknown. $1600 a month is our morgage! You do not need that much to raise a kid a month, give me a break!

 

[tigger22472]

Does anyone else find it amusing that the women whining about their men paying child support all spell "fiance" as "finance"?

To be honest I was still stuck on the lying part to pay attention. I find it amazing how it seems this woman was the only one responsible for the fact this child was born.

 

[AHA]

Let me make this picture clearer...this is my finance. He cheated on me and some women got prenant. I am upset that OUR cashflow might go to go to some women who also didn't take responsiblity. Still don't even know it is his kid and we can't find that out because of her stupid allegations or rape,which is a total joke. I still am not sure I am going to marry the guy. She is taking full advantage of his money and his family name...who have a ton of money. I am bitter...but I do believe as a woman you need to take responsibility and USE protection!

For all you know, that woman might not have known that your bf was out cheating on you when she went to bed with him. And you defend HIM???????? So its' ok if your bf goes out and have dangerous unprotected sex with every woman who's willing to give him some, but those women better have the decency to be on the pill???????

You know what, pleeeeease marry him, start giving him what he needs at home and keep him off the streets.

 

[Reena9]

I said a one night stand because it basically was...okay so techically it was three nights, whatever. They had sex in the car, it isn't like they dated.

I think making allegations of RAPE is a pretty sick way of getting money. Everyone can sit here an side with her all you want to, the fact is she is the liar. She is making a very serious threat with absolutely no proof. She never even went to the Dr...a year later she calls him and asks, why did you rape me? she said she wanted a child and didn't need his support, time, or money. She is in her late 30s and wanted a child no matter what. He told her it wasn't the right thing to do and now this.

Yes, he cheated...while we were dating two years ago...yes, I am angry, yes he should take responsibility. I too was a by product of divorced parents and it was HELL for me and my brother and for the adults...going back and forth, fights, parents talking **** about each other...blah blah...and my parents were inlove for 7 years! I would have been better off not knowing him until I was older and could understand. This women is going to tell her son his dad raped him...how is that going to be for him?

 

[Rushia]

Have to agree with audster here. I have never received a dime of support from my X and he was only ordered to pay 50.00 a month for 2 children. I do not waste my time with crying and whining about it and telling everyone to look up (on every thread I see) the "deadbeat". I know I'll never see it. At this point I'd be happy if he gave me 10. My husband and I provide more than enough for them and they are happy kids because my X and I do not drag them into our problems. They think that mom and dad are good friends.

 

[tigger22472]

I said a one night stand because it basically was...okay so techically it was three nights, whatever. They had sex in the car, it isn't like they dated.

I think making allegations of RAPE is a pretty sick way of getting money. Everyone can sit here an side with her all you want to, the fact is she is the liar. She is making a very serious threat with absolutely no proof. She never even went to the Dr...a year later she calls him and asks, why did you rape me? she said she wanted a child and didn't need his support, time, or money. She is in her late 30s and wanted a child no matter what. He told her it wasn't the right thing to do and now this.

Three nights.. isn't a one night stand... A one night stand is when they meet at a bar, have sex and don't see each other again.

And as far as the rape thing what you don't understand is she doesn't have to claim ANYTHING to get his money. I don't know, if he raped her or not, that's not the issue, the issue is that he had unprotected sex with someone, she got pregnant and now there is a child that your fiance is being OBLIGATED to support. If he didn't or doesn't think the child is his, it's up to him to prove her wrong. If he makes all this money you claim he does then he can afford a lawyer and a DNA test.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

This entire thread gives a whole new meaning to 'Spreading the JOY!'

 

[AHA]

I said a one night stand because it basically was...okay so techically it was three nights, whatever. They had sex in the car, it isn't like they dated.

I think making allegations of RAPE is a pretty sick way of getting money. Everyone can sit here an side with her all you want to, the fact is she is the liar. She is making a very serious threat with absolutely no proof. She never even went to the Dr...a year later she calls him and asks, why did you rape me? she said she wanted a child and didn't need his support, time, or money. She is in her late 30s and wanted a child no matter what. He told her it wasn't the right thing to do and now this.

Yes, he cheated...while we were dating two years ago...yes, I am angry, yes he should take responsibility. I too was a by product of divorced parents and it was HELL for me and my brother and for the adults...going back and forth, fights, parents talking **** about each other...blah blah...and my parents were inlove for 7 years! I would have been better off not knowing him until I was older and could understand. This women is going to tell her son his dad raped him...how is that going to be for him?

Just because she's telling your bf something doesn't mean she's telling her child the same thing. If you had a child (by rape or not) would you keep telling that child he/she was a result of a rape? If she wanted a child so bad, I doubt she will repeatedly say something like that to it.
Since you know what it's like to grow up without the parents together, maybe you should be more encouraging to make this situation work so that this poor child doesn't have to suffer for the childish behaviour of 3 adults.
If there was a rape, then there must have been police involved, trial, conviction or no conviction etc etc, right? Regardless of how it happened, a child was created and now you have to accept that fact.

And any adult who has a one night stand (or three nights, I can't believe you forgave something like that!!!) knows not to trust what a complete stranger is promising in terms of birth control(which only protects from pregnancy by the way!!!). Your bf made 2 mistakes. 1) trusted a stranger and 2) decided he shouldn't protect himself.......or you from serious diseases(can't believe you forgave him for that too!).

 

[AHA]

Have to agree with audster here. I have never received a dime of support from my X and he was only ordered to pay 50.00 a month for 2 children. I do not waste my time with crying and whining about it and telling everyone to look up (on every thread I see) the "deadbeat". I know I'll never see it. At this point I'd be happy if he gave me 10. My husband and I provide more than enough for them and they are happy kids because my X and I do not drag them into our problems. They think that mom and dad are good friends.

Good for you. That's puttting your kid's first.
My parents kept up the appearence of being friends my whole childhood and I grew up happy as can be. I found out later that my mom thinks my dad is a snake ,,but that wasn't because of a money issue.

I applaude you

 

[Rushia]

Thank you AHA. I learned alot because of what I went thru with him every month that his X took him to court for more child support. Even at the height of the divorce when we hated each other we swore we wouldn't do that to each other or our children. Our fight is with his father and stepmother actually. Long story and pretty pathetic actually. We all work together (stepfather and stepmother included), we all have our moments, but we all love the children and that's what we deal with, their happiness.

 

[Enigma17]

I have been reading for two days in hopes of seeing something similar to my situation without starting a redundant post -- therefore I did not enter this space with a mind to reply to completely unrelated posts, but...

Wall Street Girlfriend: You accuse the mother of your boyfriend's child of both crying rape, belied by your defensive follow-up statement that he and she had three encounters, and scheming -- purposefully/surreptitiously planning a pregnancy --because she discovered his worth. I can allow that women often fall into love and then ignorant bliss and believe convoluted stories from men, but I can't reconcile the fact that I don't read undying love and forgiveness of his indiscretions (or was it a criminal act - I'm confused) between your lines. I read animosity toward a child and resentment that this child deserves to be supported to the best of his father's ability, thereby reducing the amount of fun money you will have at your disposal if you continue to date or eventually marry your "Wall Street" man. Did you really accuse this woman of "gold-digging"?


To all who "don't agree with the laws": Child support is not meant to represent the barest amount required to eek out an existance for a child. Regardless of under what circumstances a child is conceived, support reflects a percentage of whatever funds would be available to provide for the child were the family intact. Every child is inherently entitled to the best means his TWO parents can offer. Noncustodial parents who whine that the support is cutting into their resources (read: take-out budget) should do what all custodial parents have to do: whatever it takes to provide for their child. Get a better or second job. Under support guidelines, the percentage will not necessarily increase because income does. Pay your expenses and recreate with the percentage that remains after your child is supported -- just like families have to budget.

Whether a child is born to a marriage, is the product of a romance, a one-night-stand or a non-consentual union does not affect the child's entitlement to the best upbringing possible. And because some hard-working, intact families are forced to rear children at poverty level does not mean that every custodial parent should figure out a way to do the same when the other parent is healthy and employable.

 

[AHA]

My husband makes more than $100.000 and we don't live in luxury, so if I was desperate enough to go on a hunt for a rich sperm donor, I sure wouldn't pick someone with that salary, add another 0 after the 100 and I'd think about it

 

[Rushia]

Enigma17 is right. Too many people worry about "their" money than the needs of their children. My X can barely take care of himself, much less give me money for them. We take care of them the best we can between the 4 of us and that's all there is to it.