I don't know what to do!!

[stealth2]

I would, frankly, speak with a local attorney (who is working as an attorney), rather than relying on your caseworker's word on what the law allows.

 

[casa]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? Ohio

I have a 2 1/2 year old daughter. I was never married to her dad, and when he found out I was pregnant, he left the picture...then a week before I had her, he came back saying he wanted to be a part of her life, and so he signed the birth certificate and she has his last name...he has only seen her a total of 21 times since she has been born and he hasn't seen her at all since she was 5 months old (May of 2003). He very rarely pays child support, so I'm receiving OWF for her, but that will stop when she's 3 years old. I'm on SSI because I'm in a wheelchair, and don't receive a lot of money, but I can't seem to find any other help for my daughter. I barely make ends meet, and I would really like to get her father's name off the birth certificate and get his rights revoked, so he's not in the picture anymore, but I'm afraid I'd be screwing myself in the long run and put myself further in debt than I am now. I have a boyfriend who says that he'd adopt her, but not for a while. I would like to get her last name changed back to mine before she realizes what a last name is. Would I be able to get him for being "unfit" and does anyone know of any help I'd be able to get for her since I'll be raising her myself? Any advice would be GREATLY appreciated!!!

Thanks.

If you are on SSI, why doesn't your child receive benefits also?

IF you are correct re; ohio TPR guidelines- then why not file? Seems like you are more worried about which avenue will give you the most $, and not necessarily what is in the best interest of your child.

 

[Butterflys Momm]

This has gotten way outta hand. I came on here ORIGINALLY to find out how to get her last name switched to mine since he's not in the picture anyway and doesn't want anything to do with her. I can deal with him being on the certificate for now until my boyfriend is financially able to adopt her. And I also came on here to see if there was anyone who knew of some kind of help I can get for my daughter for when the OWF stops when she turns 3 since he's not paying support, and I don't get much from SSI to support the both of us alone.

I haven't started the TPR because I'm on SSI and I can't at this point in time. I have said that SEVERAL TIMES! So please read EVERYTHING before you respond.

There isn't any benifits I can get for her being on SSI. If I was on SSD, I would be able to get something for her, but since I haven't worked long enough, I'm ineligible for SSD benifits. I am worried about the $ situation AND the best interest of my child. I need $ to support her, so therefore that would be in the best interest of my child...and how is keeping a man who doesn't care about her enough to help keep her alive, clothed, and shelter over her head in the picture in her best interest? At least I'm trying to find all the information I can to do all that for the future when the OWF stops. I would get an attorney and find out EVERYTHING I can, but at this point in time, I'm not able to afford it because I have to keep food in my child's stomach, clothes on her back, and a roof over her head. So basically, all I have to go by is what the caseworker says and the advice of others. But like I said, I don't need to be called an idiot or bashed for things I have said that other people have told me. I'm trying to do everything I can to make ends meet and to raise my daughter to the best of my ability with no help what so ever from anyone. I don't think that makes me an idiot nor does it make me deluded. I think that makes me a DAMN GOOD MOTHER. I could have just said "I can't do all this on my own" and give her up for adoption or send her to her father who wouldn't take care of her and just rid myself of everything, but no, I'm not giving up and I'm sure as to hell not going to give up on my daughter who deserves the very best in life!

 

[stealth2]

go down to your courts and file for a name change. normally cost around $100. simple easy reaply.

You realize, of course, that Dad would have to be notified and consent, right?

 

[Butterflys Momm]

I've tried that already. I can't do it unless he agrees to it and when I tried to contact him about it, he never responded. Thanks for the idea though.

 

[casa]

I've tried that already. I can't do it unless he agrees to it and when I tried to contact him about it, he never responded. Thanks for the idea though.

Why not wait to change her name? If your b/f is considering adopting her in the future (when you get married) - you'll probably want all your names to be the same anyway, so you'll wind up wanting to change it again.

Many children receive SSI when their parents are on SSI. No, I'm not talking about SSDI.

When benefits stop for your daughter- either marry and go through the adoption process, or file with Child Support Enforcement.

 

[stealth2]

if they cant contact him tell the courts to place a ad in the paper. they have a section were they place court orders. and if he still does not appear then it by all rights go in your favor. are you ne ohio

Since you seem so knowledgeable, perhaps you'll give her the rest of the details? What paper? How long does it have to run? And so on.

 

[stealth2]

the courts file it not i. just telling you what i had to do to get my sons name changed. his mother would not sign for letters. now mind you this took about 2 years to complete. if you are looking for the system to work fast DONT!

Then you need to include that the first time around. Because what your original post about this said was pretty much all she has to do is run it in the paper and that's it. It is NOT that simple, which you apparently know quite well.

 

[bononos]

yes sad to say that i do. no thats why i said if she is looking for a fast process. it is not going to be one. if she can also prove that he had no contact with the child for 2 years or more she can get it changed. but it is also vvery hard. what she needs to do is get a lawer to file and start the process. doing you self is not a option.

Oh, God. Now your here on this post. One question before I log off for the day since I'm slightly PMSing and annoyed by you.
LAWER - What the hell is this word? Huh?

 

[lparty]

I went to court in Maryland after my daughter was 3 years old (he had no contact with her at all) and told the judge that I didn't want my daughter growing up with the stigma of my ex's last name (small town...he had been in some trouble) and all I had to do was put and ad in three different papers for three weeks, stating I was having her named change and if anyone wanted to contest it they should write to the courts. Three weeks went by...nobody contested it...Judge signed the Order...One month later it was final.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

I went to court in Maryland after my daughter was 3 years old (he had no contact with her at all) and told the judge that I didn't want my daughter growing up with the stigma of my ex's last name (small town...he had been in some trouble) and all I had to do was put and ad in three different papers for three weeks, stating I was having her named change and if anyone wanted to contest it they should write to the courts. Three weeks went by...nobody contested it...Judge signed the Order...One month later it was final.

And what does this have to do with the poster's issues?

 

[Butterflys Momm]

THANK YOU brooksponds.com!!!!!!!!!!!! I KNEW that was true! but someone else told me I was lying about that and it was against the law!!!!! It runs in the paper for 6 weeks and if he doesn't respond to it, then it legally goes in my favor. Yes I am in ne Ohio. I know not to expect things to be fast. I've learned that with trying to get information. LOL But thanks for your help!!!!

Casa, I've already checked into the SSI situation. I can't get any benefits for her, but if I was elagible for SSD, I could get some for her. SSI is only for the disabled person and that's it. I've called the SSI office and that's what they told me. I have filed for child support, but all the money that he sends (when he sends it) goes straight to Job and Family Services because I'm getting OWF. I'll have to wait 30 days after the OWF stops before I'll be able to take him back to court for the child support. And if he doesn't pay, then I still don't know what to do. I will NEED that money to get by with all of my bills.

 

[Butterflys Momm]

I went to court in Maryland after my daughter was 3 years old (he had no contact with her at all) and told the judge that I didn't want my daughter growing up with the stigma of my ex's last name (small town...he had been in some trouble) and all I had to do was put and ad in three different papers for three weeks, stating I was having her named change and if anyone wanted to contest it they should write to the courts. Three weeks went by...nobody contested it...Judge signed the Order...One month later it was final.

That's how it is here also, only we have to put it in for 6 weeks instead of 3.

 

[stealth2]

you know just drop me a email and i will respond with my number. to give you as much info as i can. the people on here seem nice but need to realize laws differ from state to state

I think everyone does realize that. It would help, however, if you tried to provide all the necessary info instead of bits and pieces of it.

 

[Butterflys Momm]

you know just drop me a email and i will respond with my number. to give you as much info as i can. the people on here seem nice but need to realize laws differ from state to state

what's your e-mail addy? I tried to do it from here but it said you weren't receiving any