Involuntary release of Parental Rights? Help?

[cturboaddict]

ILLINOIS- this could pertain to FLORIDA also.

With no names being used, I AM THE LEGAL STRANGER. this is for information for my wife.

My wife has a child who is 13. She and the child reside in Illinois. The father resides in Florida. My wife has become very distraught with the father of her child recently by him not filling in his "duties" as a father.

She made the comment today to a family member of the child on his fathers side of "he either needs to step up to the plate or sign over his parental rights".
This spawned a conversation with me, that had some legal "open ends" to it and hopefully you guys could give some insight.

Here is the situation.
The father is court ordered to pay child support by the state of Florida. He has not kept up his end of the deal with this set amount for just under a year and has had no contact with her about "payment". It was previously pulled directly from his paycheck/unemployment or income tax. But NOTHING has come in almost a year now.

The "visitation" is set up (i dont think this is court ordered, but ill double check) so that Once a Year during summertime. Her son goes to visit the father in florida during school break. The agreement is one takes care of the trip one way and vice versa. THIS NEVER works out as planned as he has NEVER came to pick his son up from here. Always its either we take him down, or his aunt will pick him up from here and take him to florida. Then she will go down to florida to bring him back EVERY year.

Here is the things that bother her the most**************.
*-No payment of child support or notification of whats happening from him.
*-No help is pulled on his part for the visitation... She will not deny his right to see his child, but feels like she should somehow.
*-He Does not Write, Call, or Contact his child at All except for when he is in the state at his front door to see him during the summer. No CONTACT during birthdays, Xmas, holidays, graduations, ANYTHING! He called two days after his sons birthday and said "my mother told me it was his birthday or something, is he there?"... The childs aunt is really the only person that keeps any contact with him on that side of the family. She called just today which is two days after xmas to say happy holidays and apologized for not calling on xmas (its not her obligation either way, but put some salt on that wound ya know)..
There is alot more "drama" of things if you will, and if you need more examples i can explain.

Her questions are.....
*-Can she just ask him to sign over his legal rights as a parent? If so, does this reliquish him of Child Support or the amount the is back-due?
*-Is there any law that is being broken by not paying child support and not contacting his child that would cause a court to involuntarily remove his parental rights from him?
*-Does she have to take him down to visit if he is not filling in "moral" or "court ordered" duties as a father?
*-Can she give the option to her son to say that HE doesnt want to see him?
*-What happens to him while he isnt paying his child support?

The main thing is that her child is very "sheltered" from this situation, as she does not want to bad mouth or point out flaws of his father to the him. But if he continues to disregard the fact that he is a part of the childs life, the child is going to be emotionally hurt when he realizes the situation. He looks up to his father greatly, and she does not want to hit him with horribly bad news all at once if had to. She was hoping that if this pattern continues that he would sign his rights over so that he wont have any legal obligation to the child so that she can slowly explain the situation to her son.

All in all, the persont that is being hurt the most is the young man. And its a delicate situation that needs to be taken care of with care.

I did my best to "word" this situation for a legal matter without using any emotion of my own or hers. I see him as a great kid with a bright future and both of us are not trying to hinder him from having any relationship with his father. But we as a family can only hide the truth of what is going on from the child for so long before the truth shines through. My wife is afraid of this situation, and has sheltered her child for a long time of it. Its really getting to her~as she KNOWS this isnt right to her son. Only in turn making her Mad... What mother wouldnt get this way.

SORRY FOR THE LONG POST and Thanks for your input! Happy Holidays!

 

[stealth2]

Her questions are.....
*-Can she just ask him to sign over his legal rights as a parent? If so, does this reliquish him of Child Support or the amount the is back-due?

Of course she can ask him. He can agree - and a court will sign off on it IF you are willing to adopt. Or he can refuse. If his rights are terminated, current support will end, arrears will remain and continue to accrue interest.

*-Is there any law that is being broken by not paying child support and not contacting his child that would cause a court to involuntarily remove his parental rights from him?

If he is court ordered to pay support, he would be found in contempt for not doing so. Visitation and contact are a right - not a requirement. So no, he could not be penalized for not contacting his son between visitation. A court would only involuntarily terminate his rights if there was no contact for an extended period of time. Since he does exercise his visitation each summer, it's unlikely.

*-Does she have to take him down to visit if he is not filling in "moral" or "court ordered" duties as a father?

Yes, if is ordered time. That's her job as the custodial parent. And btw - if his aunt agrees to do the transport for him, it is between them and really none of Mom's business.

*-Can she give the option to her son to say that HE doesnt want to see him?

NO.

*-What happens to him while he isnt paying his child support?

Until she takes him to court for contempt? Nothing.

The main thing is that her child is very "sheltered" from this situation, as she does not want to bad mouth or point out flaws of his father to the him. But if he continues to disregard the fact that he is a part of the childs life, the child is going to be emotionally hurt when he realizes the situation. He looks up to his father greatly, and she does not want to hit him with horribly bad news all at once if had to. She was hoping that if this pattern continues that he would sign his rights over so that he wont have any legal obligation to the child so that she can slowly explain the situation to her son.

At 13? The kid doesn't realize that Dad only sees him once a year and doesn't contact him in between? Really? I suspect the kiddo knows the score and has resigned himself. If Mom's concerned, perhaps counseling would be a good idea. But really, by 13? Unless the boy has other issues not mentioned here, he knows.

 

[nextwife]

She made the comment today to a family member of the child on his fathers side of "he either needs to step up to the plate or sign over his parental rights".

Legally, dad is not required to be dad in accordance with mom's requirements to remain dad. He has contact and time with his child yearly, and child support is not an admission fee to one's child.

 

[LdiJ]

I agree with everyone else but I will add one item....

Your wife has no obligation of any kind to provide any transportation to take the child TO dad. She is only obligated for the transportation to bring the child back to her. Therefore, particularly since he is not paying his child support, mom should NOT provide dad's share of the transportation.

 

[SESmama]

Actually it does sound like dad is taking care of his part of the transportation each summer. He is having his sister pick up the child.

 

[LdiJ]

Actually it does sound like dad is taking care of his part of the transportation each summer. He is having his sister pick up the child.

He said the following:

Always its either we take him down, or his aunt will pick him up from here and take him to florida

 

[SESmama]

You are right, he said

Always its either we take him down, or his aunt will pick him up from here and take him to florida. Then she will go down to florida to bring him back EVERY year.

so if mom does not wish to take him she has no obligation to but dad is indeed providing some transportation down to Florida.

 

[MrJenkins]

You are right, he said



so if mom does not wish to take him she has no obligation to but dad is indeed providing some transportation down to Florida.

except, maybe his aunt is the MOTHERS sister. In that case, she is still providing transportation

 

[ecmst12]

Not unless mom and aunt are the same person. Otherwise, mom provides transport sometimes and other times aunt does. Doesn't matter which side the aunt is from.

 

[Just Blue]

ILLINOIS- this could pertain to FLORIDA also.

With no names being used, I AM THE LEGAL STRANGER. this is for information for my wife.

My wife has a child who is 13. She and the child reside in Illinois. The father resides in Florida. My wife has become very distraught with the father of her child recently by him not filling in his "duties" as a father.

She made the comment today to a family member of the child on his fathers side of "he either needs to step up to the plate or sign over his parental rights".
This spawned a conversation with me, that had some legal "open ends" to it and hopefully you guys could give some insight.

Here is the situation.
The father is court ordered to pay child support by the state of Florida. He has not kept up his end of the deal with this set amount for just under a year and has had no contact with her about "payment". It was previously pulled directly from his paycheck/unemployment or income tax. But NOTHING has come in almost a year now.

The "visitation" is set up (i dont think this is court ordered, but ill double check) so that Once a Year during summertime. Her son goes to visit the father in florida during school break. The agreement is one takes care of the trip one way and vice versa. THIS NEVER works out as planned as he has NEVER came to pick his son up from here. Always its either we take him down, or his aunt will pick him up from here and take him to florida. Then she will go down to florida to bring him back EVERY year.

Here is the things that bother her the most**************.
*-No payment of child support or notification of whats happening from him.
*-No help is pulled on his part for the visitation... She will not deny his right to see his child, but feels like she should somehow.
*-He Does not Write, Call, or Contact his child at All except for when he is in the state at his front door to see him during the summer. No CONTACT during birthdays, Xmas, holidays, graduations, ANYTHING! He called two days after his sons birthday and said "my mother told me it was his birthday or something, is he there?"... The childs aunt is really the only person that keeps any contact with him on that side of the family. She called just today which is two days after xmas to say happy holidays and apologized for not calling on xmas (its not her obligation either way, but put some salt on that wound ya know)..
There is alot more "drama" of things if you will, and if you need more examples i can explain.

Her questions are.....
*-Can she just ask him to sign over his legal rights as a parent? If so, does this reliquish him of Child Support or the amount the is back-due?
*-Is there any law that is being broken by not paying child support and not contacting his child that would cause a court to involuntarily remove his parental rights from him?
*-Does she have to take him down to visit if he is not filling in "moral" or "court ordered" duties as a father?
*-Can she give the option to her son to say that HE doesnt want to see him?
*-What happens to him while he isnt paying his child support?

The main thing is that her child is very "sheltered" from this situation, as she does not want to bad mouth or point out flaws of his father to the him. But if he continues to disregard the fact that he is a part of the childs life, the child is going to be emotionally hurt when he realizes the situation. He looks up to his father greatly, and she does not want to hit him with horribly bad news all at once if had to. She was hoping that if this pattern continues that he would sign his rights over so that he wont have any legal obligation to the child so that she can slowly explain the situation to her son.

All in all, the persont that is being hurt the most is the young man. And its a delicate situation that needs to be taken care of with care.

I did my best to "word" this situation for a legal matter without using any emotion of my own or hers. I see him as a great kid with a bright future and both of us are not trying to hinder him from having any relationship with his father. But we as a family can only hide the truth of what is going on from the child for so long before the truth shines through. My wife is afraid of this situation, and has sheltered her child for a long time of it. Its really getting to her~as she KNOWS this isnt right to her son. Only in turn making her Mad... What mother wouldnt get this way.

SORRY FOR THE LONG POST and Thanks for your input! Happy Holidays!

Does your wife have some kind of handicap that will not allow her to ask her own questions?

 

[cturboaddict]

HAHA- some of your guys comments made me laugh..

Ill answer for you...
@stealth 2~
On the visitation, since he isnt still paying child support- he is still in direct violation of the court order??? At the question of what will happen to him, we know that the court has "reopened" the issue of child support as of 6-2010. (checked local criminal records) and his DL has been suspended? Does she still need to contact FL?
As for the issue of him not knowing at the age of 13~ i guess i should of mentioned that he is a special needs child. In developmental classes... He has autism, and is very bright. Just not the typical social butterfly of a 13 year old, kind of a hermit to say the least. Doesnt do the things normal 13 year olds do, hes still a bit "behind" in that world. GREAT KID, just a little blind to the real world still.

@nextwife~
Understandable and that is not the MAIN concern. Its not far at all from abandonment in our eyes.....

@Ldij & SESmama & MrJenkins~
the childs aunt is the fathers sister who travels from FL to IL to pick him up and take him back... We understand in the courts eyes he is filling his responsibility for the transportation. I was just making a point of how he cowers from his responsiblity by throwing onto someone else. The aunt agrees.

@ecmst12~
This is the one that made me laugh... Its Florida, and yes i know this its close to Alabama~ but no the two are not the same-and i really dont know how that could work (dueling banjos play)

@Blue Meanie~
This one also make me laugh.. no she has no kind of handicap. Except for being awsome. Shes actually sitting right next to me. But she works alot and these conversations take us about 5 minutes to talk about vs the time for her to get on the computer to type it up and answer...

As mentioned above, we did do a writ check through FL website, but nothing came up (same name, different age). We did a criminal record check for the county that he lives in and some minor traffic tickets came up, along with violations of CS for my wife and another woman, Driving while suspended on a couple occassions, and a big theft of vehicle over 100,000? If we wanted to speak to him about this matter, the only way we are able to get in contact with him is through the aunt. She finds him and has him call from her phone... Unless we are in that state, then we find out where he is living at the time. The violation on his record for the CS nonpayment are "re-opened" cases as of 6-2010... I have no clue what this means? Is there a warrant out for his arrest. Reason for asking is, he has been arrested when his child was visiting where we had to travel down to florida to pick him up from some family members to bring him home. He could possibly be picked up at anytime with his current trackrecord...

Thank you all for all of your help.

 

[TheGeekess]

HAHA- some of your guys comments made me laugh..

Ill answer for you...

@ecmst12~
This is the one that made me laugh... Its Florida, and yes i know this its close to Alabama~ but no the two are not the same-and i really dont know how that could work (dueling banjos play)

Thank you all for all of your help.

Dude, watch what you say about Alabama.... Your inferences are not appreciated.

 

[LdiJ]

HAHA- some of your guys comments made me laugh..

Ill answer for you...
@stealth 2~
On the visitation, since he isnt still paying child support- he is still in direct violation of the court order??? At the question of what will happen to him, we know that the court has "reopened" the issue of child support as of 6-2010. (checked local criminal records) and his DL has been suspended? Does she still need to contact FL?
As for the issue of him not knowing at the age of 13~ i guess i should of mentioned that he is a special needs child. In developmental classes... He has autism, and is very bright. Just not the typical social butterfly of a 13 year old, kind of a hermit to say the least. Doesnt do the things normal 13 year olds do, hes still a bit "behind" in that world. GREAT KID, just a little blind to the real world still.

@nextwife~
Understandable and that is not the MAIN concern. Its not far at all from abandonment in our eyes.....

@Ldij & SESmama & MrJenkins~
the childs aunt is the fathers sister who travels from FL to IL to pick him up and take him back... We understand in the courts eyes he is filling his responsibility for the transportation. I was just making a point of how he cowers from his responsiblity by throwing onto someone else. The aunt agrees.

@ecmst12~
This is the one that made me laugh... Its Florida, and yes i know this its close to Alabama~ but no the two are not the same-and i really dont know how that could work (dueling banjos play)

@Blue Meanie~
This one also make me laugh.. no she has no kind of handicap. Except for being awsome. Shes actually sitting right next to me. But she works alot and these conversations take us about 5 minutes to talk about vs the time for her to get on the computer to type it up and answer...

As mentioned above, we did do a writ check through FL website, but nothing came up (same name, different age). We did a criminal record check for the county that he lives in and some minor traffic tickets came up, along with violations of CS for my wife and another woman, Driving while suspended on a couple occassions, and a big theft of vehicle over 100,000? If we wanted to speak to him about this matter, the only way we are able to get in contact with him is through the aunt. She finds him and has him call from her phone... Unless we are in that state, then we find out where he is living at the time. The violation on his record for the CS nonpayment are "re-opened" cases as of 6-2010... I have no clue what this means? Is there a warrant out for his arrest. Reason for asking is, he has been arrested when his child was visiting where we had to travel down to florida to pick him up from some family members to bring him home. He could possibly be picked up at anytime with his current trackrecord...

Thank you all for all of your help.

If the aunt really agrees, she should stop enabling him as well. I suspect that she probably is frustrated, but doesn't really agree because the rest of the family won't get to see the child unless someone provides dad's share of the transportation.

 

[Just Blue]

@Blue Meanie~
This one also make me laugh.. no she has no kind of handicap. Except for being awsome. Shes actually sitting right next to me. But she works alot and these conversations take us about 5 minutes to talk about vs the time for her to get on the computer to type it up and answer...

She should join with her own name and TYPE and ANSWER these questions/answers for herself. It is not appropriate for her husband to be posting for her. At all.

Her typing/computer skills will improve if she PRACTICES.

 

[milspecgirl]

child support does not equal visitation. Just because he doesnt pay cs- that does not take away his right to have visitation.

Having his sister pick the child up is his (And her) choice. Maybe he is unable to come get the child. really none of yall's business.

your definition of abandonment does not matter to the courts at all. The fact that he is having ANY contact with the child means it is not abandonment. When he has had NO contact AT ALL for more than a year (including child support, calling, sending a card, gift, etc) then you can mention abandonment, but it could take YEARS of no contact to get an abandonment ruling.

People who dont want to pay CS wont. There is only so much that can be done. They can take your license, tax refund, passport, etc. But if you have a parent who refuses to work (meaning no tax refund either) there just isn't much that can be done. They can put him in jail- but really, what good will it do.

If he gets arrested while the child is with him, CPS will contact mom and probably release the child to the aunt (or whoever) until mom can get there.