I have never forbid the kids from coming over. you guys are reading into things.
The family members we live with are kind of old and have health conditions where they are not physically capable of caring for an 11 month old, which is why I have to pay for daycare while we are both at work.
As far as buying what the baby needs, a lot of it was gifts. His bassinet was donated by the church (which we had to give back) and he stayed in it for 9 months because we couldn't afford to buy a crib (you are all parents, you know what this stuff costs!). A lot of his clothes are hand-me-downs from my aunt who has a baby one month older than my son and luckily really big for his age so he outgrows things quickly.
I've been at my job for a good while so when the daycare says to come pick him up because he's sick, no one gives me a hard time about missing work to care for him or take him to regular checkups. If i move jobs, I'll take a pay cut, have to find a new daycare (current one is on the worksite), drive farther (more gas!), and will not have the flexibility to leave to care for baby. Anyone who's had a child in daycare will know that you HAVE to keep them at home when they are sick.
I live in San Antonio, and with the new growth and businesses coming into town the cost of living is sky-rocketing so we live outside of town where our rent is minimal and just have to eat the gas costs.
Their mother states they ask all the time to stay over, yet neither one of them has EVER asked us to stay over. Yesterday, my husband informed me that his sister offered to take the kids for the entire weekend and suggested we also come over and spend the visitation day there. We presented that option to their mother and she declined it. If it truely is my husbands time, then what reason would she have to say no to that?