Is this neglect??

[Just Blue]

you stated the surgery was done. how was your son permanently damaged? please understand i'm not trying to OK yur ex's actions. what i'm trying to convey how the courts will view it.

The child LOST A TESTICLE! I would say that is damaging.

 

[Isis1]

The child LOST A TESTICLE! I would say that is damaging.

let me rephrase the question.

you have to prove dad KNEW the testicle would be removed and did nothing anyway. i've got to be honest. i'm not a doctor. how does any person who does not have a medical degree automatically assume a diagnosis beyond their depth of knowledge? it is quite possible dad really thought son was "backed up" and just needed release. some people still believe in the concept of "blue balls".

example: i've had a few broken bones in my life time. i know by experience and not medical education of the symptoms of a broken bone. my two older children's father has never had a broken bone. when my 11 year old broke his bone last year, i knew by looking at it that it was broken. father did not. it's not medical neglect.

 

[Just Blue]

let me rephrase the question.

Please do...The original way you "phrased it" was offensive.

And in the first OP post she clearly states the time line.

 

[cayla99]

just to add to this question...OP, the doctor is a mandated reporter. if there was medical neglect, he would have had to report it, or possibly lose his license.

He may have, as I said, my son told the gp, urologist, anesthesiologist and surgeon about how his dad had been laughing at him about being a wimp and that I was crazy for wanting to rush to the emergency room for every little thing. The surgery was done late friday afternoon, for all I know my ex has been reported. The doctors had told my son that IF he would have been brought in Weds night there would have been at least a 99% chance of saving it. With this thing there seems to be about a 6 hour window with a few lucky ones were it can be saved up to 24 hours but the longer you wait, the smaller the chances. I am not a man, but I have a feeling that especially to a 14 year old boy, losing a testicle because someone waited too long is pretty heavy damage. The men on this bored might have better knowledge about that than I do.

 

[Just Blue]

He may have, as I said, my son told the gp, urologist, anesthesiologist and surgeon about how his dad had been laughing at him about being a wimp and that I was crazy for wanting to rush to the emergency room for every little thing. The surgery was done late friday afternoon, for all I know my ex has been reported. The doctors had told my son that IF he would have been brought in Weds night there would have been at least a 99% chance of saving it. With this thing there seems to be about a 6 hour window with a few lucky ones were it can be saved up to 24 hours but the longer you wait, the smaller the chances. I am not a man, but I have a feeling that especially to a 14 year old boy, losing a testicle because someone waited too long is pretty heavy damage. The men on this bored might have better knowledge about that than I do.

If I were you I would beg, borrow or sell my engagement ring to come up with the $$ for an attorney. Report this to CPS. Now. I do believe this is medical neglect. I DO believe this is a COC.

 

[Ohiogal]

okay, so i reread your post. since the surgery was done, it's not neglect. the post op is only neglect if something came up and it was not taken care of. that you can pay for. is he being a jerk about it? YES. i'm with 100% on that. but it's not illegal for dad to laugh at the situation. it wasn't neglect when the surgery was done. if the surgery wasn't done, then you have a case. if you provided the money, the doctor, and dad STILL didn't get it done, then you'd have a case.

i'm sorry, i don't see this as a change of circumstance for the child. so a change of custody might be a waste of time.

It is neglect what was done. Dad's lack of action is what caused surgery to be necessary. Hence, mom has a case for change of custody due to this. Will she win? I dont know. But she needs to start reading up on NC laws and go from there to file. Dad is not just being a jerk -- it could be considered criminal. The big problem is why didn't the doctors call CPS?

 

[Ohiogal]

let me rephrase the question.

you have to prove dad KNEW the testicle would be removed and did nothing anyway.

WRONG. What she has to prove is that dad knew there was a medical issue that was worsening and he did nothing about it.

i've got to be honest. i'm not a doctor. how does any person who does not have a medical degree automatically assume a diagnosis beyond their depth of knowledge? it is quite possible dad really thought son was "backed up" and just needed release. some people still believe in the concept of "blue balls".

Due to the fact that he waited several days from when his son purportedly told him about the issue is a problem.

example: i've had a few broken bones in my life time. i know by experience and not medical education of the symptoms of a broken bone. my two older children's father has never had a broken bone. when my 11 year old broke his bone last year, i knew by looking at it that it was broken. father did not. it's not medical neglect.

Again you are wrong. It is medical neglect when a parent refuses to find out why their child is in pain that is worsening and he does nothing.

 

[janM]

Not legal advice, but I agree the dad should have acted.

My son, when he was about 20 and still lived with us, complained to me about one of his testicles. Said it was twice its normal size and he was in a lot of pain. I took him to the ER, and they said he had strained lifting something and there was fluid in the sac. They did an ultrasound to see if there was a lack of blood flow. They said he'd be ok if he rested and that he MAY have fertility problems (he already had a son).

I would be furious too. No different than a child complaining about a sore and it turns into MRSA and they end up losing a limb.

 

[futuredust]

let me rephrase the question.

you have to prove dad KNEW the testicle would be removed and did nothing anyway. i've got to be honest. i'm not a doctor. how does any person who does not have a medical degree automatically assume a diagnosis beyond their depth of knowledge? it is quite possible dad really thought son was "backed up" and just needed release. some people still believe in the concept of "blue balls".

example: i've had a few broken bones in my life time. i know by experience and not medical education of the symptoms of a broken bone. my two older children's father has never had a broken bone. when my 11 year old broke his bone last year, i knew by looking at it that it was broken. father did not. it's not medical neglect.

You have got to be kidding.. did you really think about this before posting?


If a child is in pain, and there is swelling, without explanation, and child keeps saying they are hurting and it is getting worse.. then failure to find out what the problem is, is neglect. The fact that this child had something very serious going on, and dad blew it off by telling him to masturbate is sickening.

Dad only took child to a doctor after the CHILD made their own appointment and a legal stranger in another state paid for it.

Mom, contact CPS and an Attorney, Monday morning.

 

[Isis1]

It is neglect what was done. Dad's lack of action is what caused surgery to be necessary. Hence, mom has a case for change of custody due to this. Will she win? I dont know. But she needs to start reading up on NC laws and go from there to file. Dad is not just being a jerk -- it could be considered criminal. The big problem is why didn't the doctors call CPS?

then i concede. maybe i have too much faith in mandated reporters. and if that's so, then 4-5 doctors that heard this story from the boy have a serious issue with following the law.

 

[Just Blue]

let me rephrase the question.

you have to prove dad KNEW the testicle would be removed and did nothing anyway. i've got to be honest. i'm not a doctor. how does any person who does not have a medical degree automatically assume a diagnosis beyond their depth of knowledge? it is quite possible dad really thought son was "backed up" and just needed release. some people still believe in the concept of "blue balls".

example: i've had a few broken bones in my life time. i know by experience and not medical education of the symptoms of a broken bone. my two older children's father has never had a broken bone. when my 11 year old broke his bone last year, i knew by looking at it that it was broken. father did not. it's not medical neglect.

Please stop posting. You really don't understand the law. The poor kid had his flippin' nut removed because Dad didn't provide medical attention when it was VISIBLY swollen. Dad told his 14 yo son to whack off when said son showed him the problem and complained of pain. The CHILD had to make his own doctors appointment for God's Sake!

If you think that this ISN"T neglect, then I fear for your children.

 

[LdiJ]

If I were you I would beg, borrow or sell my engagement ring to come up with the $$ for an attorney. Report this to CPS. Now. I do believe this is medical neglect. I DO believe this is a COC.

I agree 100%. Do whatever you have to do to get the money for an attorney and absolutely DO report it to CPS in NC.

I am personally appalled that dad is telling you that unless you send the money there will not be a post op visit to the doctor. Dad himself should be so ashamed that his lack of attention to the matter cost his son a testicle, that dad should be bending over backwards to make sure that the child's needs in this matter are fully taken care of.

The fact that dad apparently has no remorse at all is VERY disturbing. Seriously folks...can anyone here imagine ANY dad with a son who lost a testicle due to not getting medical care when he needed it reacting in this way?

I encourage the men on this forum to respond....would ANY of you let your son go without treatment and then tell the mother that the son wouldn't get follow up treatment unless she paid for it?

 

[Isis1]

You have got to be kidding.. did you really think about this before posting?


If a child is in pain, and there is swelling, without explanation, and child keeps saying they are hurting and it is getting worse.. then failure to find out what the problem is, is neglect. The fact that this child had something very serious going on, and dad blew it off by telling him to masturbate is sickening.

Dad only took child to a doctor after the CHILD made their own appointment and a legal stranger in another state paid for it.

Mom, contact CPS and an Attorney, Monday morning.

i stated from my own experience, and from that i apologize. i had it straight from a minor's attorney that it is not medical neglect if the other parent does not act on knowledge they are not aware of. doesn't matter if the swelling was highly noticable. doesn't matter if the child was in pain. what matters is in the end the child was taken care of and the issue resolved.

 

[Ohiogal]

I agree 100%. Do whatever you have to do to get the money for an attorney and absolutely DO report it to CPS in NC.

I am personally appalled that dad is telling you that unless you send the money there will not be a post op visit to the doctor. Dad himself should be so ashamed that his lack of attention to the matter cost his son a testicle, that dad should be bending over backwards to make sure that the child's needs in this matter are fully taken care of.

The fact that dad apparently has no remorse at all is VERY disturbing. Seriously folks...can anyone here imagine ANY dad with a son who lost a testicle due to not getting medical care when he needed it reacting in this way?
I encourage the men on this forum to respond....would ANY of you let your son go without treatment and then tell the mother that the son wouldn't get follow up treatment unless she paid for it?

Regarding the bolded, a few SERIOUS questions though they don't seem that way:

Does dad have testicles?
How bad was the relationship between mom and dad before this?
Did the boy have a history of crying wolf?

I can imagine horrible parents doing that but you would think men would have a bit of sympathy for their SONS experiencing groin pain.

 

[futuredust]

i stated from my own experience, and from that i apologize. i had it straight from a minor's attorney that it is not medical neglect if the other parent does not act on knowledge they are not aware of. doesn't matter if the swelling was highly noticable. doesn't matter if the child was in pain. what matters is in the end the child was taken care of and the issue resolved.

Then the attorney who told you this was not too bright.

Would it have been different if it was say, his hand.. His hand was swollen four times it's normal size, it was painful and getting worse over time. When child finally sees a doctor they have to amputate the hand because it could not be saved, could have if there was earlier treatment.. but someone failed to act.

I cannot see anyone arguing well I didn't know there was something wrong. There is swelling, unexplained, there is pain, worsening. Common sense says seek the help of someone who is a qualified medical professional.

If you fail to seek that help for a child, then you are neglectful.