Is this neglect??

[Just Blue]

i stated from my own experience, and from that i apologize. i had it straight from a minor's attorney that it is not medical neglect if the other parent does not act on knowledge they are not aware of. doesn't matter if the swelling was highly noticable. doesn't matter if the child was in pain. what matters is in the end the child was taken care of and the issue resolved.

Have YOU ever seen "blue balls"?? I have. NO ONE (ESPECIALLY A GROWN MAN!) Would mistake blue balls for what the OP described!
Blue balls pull up tight to the body and are, quite literately, BLUE!

it is quite possible dad really thought son was "backed up" and just needed release. some people still believe in the concept of "blue balls".

 

[Ohiogal]

i stated from my own experience, and from that i apologize. i had it straight from a minor's attorney that it is not medical neglect if the other parent does not act on knowledge they are not aware of. doesn't matter if the swelling was highly noticable. doesn't matter if the child was in pain. what matters is in the end the child was taken care of and the issue resolved.

That would mean if dad did NOT KNOW that his son's testicle was hurting him or swollen or otherwise causing junior a problem with pain or such -- then he couldnt' be held in neglect. However in this situation he is neglectful and quite frankly could face criminal charges for child endangering among other things if mom wants to press the issue. Your experience? You were understanding what you were told improperly. There was a lack of comprehension of what you were told.

 

[Ohiogal]

Have YOU ever seen "blue balls"?? I have. NO ONE (ESPECIALLY A GROWN MAN!) Would mistake blue balls for what the OP described!
Blue balls pull up tight to the body and are, quite literately, BLUE!

ummm... this is probably more information about you than I EVER needed to know hon.

 

[Just Blue]

That would mean if dad did NOT KNOW that his son's testicle was hurting him or swollen or otherwise causing junior a problem with pain or such -- then he couldnt' be held in neglect. However in this situation he is neglectful and quite frankly could face criminal charges for child endangering among other things if mom wants to press the issue. Your experience? You were understanding what you were told improperly. There was a lack of comprehension of what you were told.

I sincerely hope that the OP is calling CPS and that is why she stopped posting...I would be very upset if she believed some of the terrible advice posted on this thread and thought she didn't have cause.

 

[Just Blue]

ummm... this is probably more information about you than I EVER needed to know hon.

Oh come on!! Tell me you have never seen this "condition"...I won't believe you!!

 

[stealth2]

I have to ask, though ... does Mom have no culpability? 'Cause I see both parents as neglectful here.

 

[profmum]

i stated from my own experience, and from that i apologize. i had it straight from a minor's attorney that it is not medical neglect if the other parent does not act on knowledge they are not aware of. doesn't matter if the swelling was highly noticable. doesn't matter if the child was in pain. what matters is in the end the child was taken care of and the issue resolved.

Isabella, need to stop trying to be right on this one.. you are always an insightful poster. See the bolded sentence.. this was medical neglect..

 

[Isis1]

Please stop posting. You really don't understand the law. The poor kid had his flippin' nut removed because Dad didn't provide medical attention when it was VISIBLY swollen. Dad told his 14 yo son to whack off when said son showed him the problem and complained of pain. The CHILD had to make his own doctors appointment for God's Sake!

If you think that this ISN"T neglect, then I fear for your children.

it has nothing to do if I think it's neglect, it has to do with whether the courts will find him in neglect. do i think it's neglect? YES!! absolutely. i think dad is a grade A jerk off. but mom would have to prove dad intentionally neglected his son. in the end, dad did take him in. an emergency surgery was done. is dad stupid? YES!! but what matter is that the court will think. do i think mom should pursue a case? YES!!!!! in fact i'll jump up and wave my hands while screaming "yes". but mom needs to be made aware that dad may not be found in neglect. because dad did get medical attention. not as quick as i would have liked, but he did do it.

you have no need to fear for my children, bay, i'm on mom's side. she just also needs to see the big picture. it's not a cut and dry issue.

 

[Ohiogal]

I have to ask, though ... does Mom have no culpability? 'Cause I see both parents as neglectful here.

Mom could be held as neglectful however distance gives her a bit of protection in what she could definitely do She should have done a bit more -- called an ambulance if nothing else to have her son taken in. Fought with dad or stepmom on the phone. If the paramedics were there stepmom would have issues turning them away. Called the child's doctor herself with the information she had been given.

If CPS gets involved however for neglect, the child is adjudicated as neglected but the parents are not guilty. They each may have a caseplan but the adjudication is of the child and NOT the parents.

 

[Nativity]

Until this makes it into court and what have you, OP needs to tell her son the next time something like this occurs and Dad fails to help out, to either take himself to the ER or call 911.

 

[Ohiogal]

it has nothing to do if I think it's neglect, it has to do with whether the courts will find him in neglect. do i think it's neglect? YES!! absolutely. i think dad is a grade A jerk off. but mom would have to prove dad intentionally neglected his son. in the end, dad did take him in. an emergency surgery was done. is dad stupid? YES!! but what matter is that the court will think. do i think mom should pursue a case? YES!!!!! in fact i'll jump up and wave my hands while screaming "yes". but mom needs to be made aware that dad may not be found in neglect. because dad did get medical attention. not as quick as i would have liked, but he did do it.

you have no need to fear for my children, bay, i'm on mom's side. she just also needs to see the big picture. it's not a cut and dry issue.

Most caselaw agrees with me -- dad has neglected the child. He caused the child's medical condition to WORSEN by his lack of action. That is neglect. Sorry but unless dad was ignorant of ALL the facts -- son was in pain, son's testicle was swollen, and what not -- he is guilty of neglect. Mom should file a criminal complaint, a complaint for a change of custody AND call CPS.

And you need to quit on this thread, please.

 

[stealth2]

Mom could be held as neglectful however distance gives her a bit of protection in what she could definitely do She should have done a bit more -- called an ambulance if nothing else to have her son taken in. Fought with dad or stepmom on the phone. If the paramedics were there stepmom would have issues turning them away. Called the child's doctor herself with the information she had been given.

If CPS gets involved however for neglect, the child is adjudicated as neglected but the parents are not guilty. They each may have a caseplan but the adjudication is of the child and NOT the parents.

Thanks, OG, for filling it in for me.

 

[cayla99]

Mom was hundreds of miles away. DAD had actually looked at the situation and decided it was not a biggie he thought that "one just got pushed up behind the other and would work itself loose". I don't have those parts, I was clueless. All mom knew was her boy was swelling and in pain and wanted the pain to stop. I DID NOT KNOW how serious this was. My son does not really exaggerate pain, but my ex only has compassion for his own pain. That is why I kept harping for my son to get medical attention ASAP, he was in serious pain. When my son was 8, he dislocated a knee in a soccer game, we rushed him to the er, but not once did he cry over it. It was his crying that alerted me, but not being there, and really not knowing first hand what is and is not normal with a boy in puberty, I assumed if it was serious my ex would have acted.

Mom is not letting this go. At this point, I think it is fair to say we do not know if any of the medical professionals contacted CPS or not. I have been doing some research on how CPS works and they normally pay a visit within 72 hours of the report. IF a report was made, it would not have been made until later Friday. The only way they would have held the child at the hospital is if they believed he was in imminent danger and would likely suffer injury or death if they did not get the judge to sign a protective order. They obviously did not feel that was the case, but there is a likelihood that if they called a worker will be stopping by before weds (if weekends do not count in the 72 hours) or by monday if they do. I am not going to drop this. I have been trying to borrow the money for an attorney. I have also had numerous phone calls from my son, who is taking this better than I am. That being said, he is also on heavy pain killers prescribed by the surgeon.

 

[summerdawn]

Until this makes it into court and what have you, OP needs to tell her son the next time something like this occurs and Dad fails to help out, to either take himself to the ER or call 911.

This is exactly what I was wondering-why didn't mom tell the child to call 911? It must have been some horrendous pain that poor kid was going through.

 

[summerdawn]

Mom was hundreds of miles away. DAD had actually looked at the situation and decided it was not a biggie he thought that "one just got pushed up behind the other and would work itself loose". I don't have those parts, I was clueless. All mom knew was her boy was swelling and in pain and wanted the pain to stop. I DID NOT KNOW how serious this was. My son does not really exaggerate pain, but my ex only has compassion for his own pain. That is why I kept harping for my son to get medical attention ASAP, he was in serious pain. When my son was 8, he dislocated a knee in a soccer game, we rushed him to the er, but not once did he cry over it. It was his crying that alerted me, but not being there, and really not knowing first hand what is and is not normal with a boy in puberty, I assumed if it was serious my ex would have acted.

Mom is not letting this go. At this point, I think it is fair to say we do not know if any of the medical professionals contacted CPS or not. I have been doing some research on how CPS works and they normally pay a visit within 72 hours of the report. IF a report was made, it would not have been made until later Friday. The only way they would have held the child at the hospital is if they believed he was in imminent danger and would likely suffer injury or death if they did not get the judge to sign a protective order. They obviously did not feel that was the case, but there is a likelihood that if they called a worker will be stopping by before weds (if weekends do not count in the 72 hours) or by monday if they do. I am not going to drop this. I have been trying to borrow the money for an attorney. I have also had numerous phone calls from my son, who is taking this better than I am. That being said, he is also on heavy pain killers prescribed by the surgeon.

Whether the doctors calls CPS or not, I think you should. ASAP.