It's Shay

[mmmagique]

Yes, I'd suggest filing for a seperation as well.

When the person you love and rely on leaves you and lets you down, it's worse than a death, and has all the attendent lows and occasional numbness. (Thank GOD for that numbness!!!) It does really take time to feel any sort of healing.

Something you said niggles at me; he puts you down every chance you get, and he acts different even with the guys at work.

This suggests to me that he is not sure about what he is doing, and needs to put you down to prove to himself that what he did was right. I wouldn't be surprised to see him come crawling back by Christmas.

In the meantime, you show him (and the world) what a strong wonderful confident woman you are. (even if you don't feel it, this outpouring of support should prove it!)

((((((hugs))))))))

~Christina

p.s. when you fake it til you make it, sometimes that positive attitude rubs off on you, and you actually ARE happy...at least for a while.

 

[mistoffolees]

p.s. when you fake it til you make it, sometimes that positive attitude rubs off on you, and you actually ARE happy...at least for a while.

As long as we're straying from legal questions and answers, let me make another suggestion. Take time to do things for yourself. Is there something you always wanted to do but never did? Do it.

I've always loved singing, but never had the money for lessons when I was young and never had the time when my daughter was growing up (even though my ex wasn't working, I had all the doctor's appointments, activities, etc and never had any time for myself.). Not too long after I filed for divorce, I started taking voice lessons. I'm having a ball and it really does help to relieve stress. And, as a friend told me, it's probably cheaper than therapy.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

The therapist suggestion is a good one. When you get left for another woman, it's a hard blow on the ego.

 

[Rushia]

Oh Shay, I just saw this and I'm sooo sorry! If you need to talk, just to have someone listen, CALL ME! I'll pm you my number or if you want me to call you cause of the long distance give me yours and I'll call whenever you want.

Take care of yourself and your dd! Love you!

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

Retained attorney today. Cried my eyes out doing it. I can't have him walking away without paying. I swear, this is worse than death, and I'll never understand why he did what he did, I probably never will. Thank you all for your loving support. I have written down all of your numbers. Maybe coming back and answering some questions will divert some of my time. How could Shay have been so dumb? Have therapy on the 4th. and the ego thing? Yep, my self esteem is as low as it gets. I think you are right about his words also. Justifying his guilt perhaps.

 

[mommyof4]

Retained attorney today. Cried my eyes out doing it. I can't have him walking away without paying. I swear, this is worse than death, and I'll never understand why he did what he did, I probably never will. Thank you all for your loving support. I have written down all of your numbers. Maybe coming back and answering some questions will divert some of my time. How could Shay have been so dumb?

Shay? You are not dumb. Your husband, however, is a first class .... He'll figure out how dumb he is when he figures out that you are not going to roll over and play dead.

Be strong. Take care of yourself...if that means crying till your eyes are swollen shut, then so be it. If that means dancing around your home naked just because you can, then do it. Just hang in there.

 

[>Charlotte<]

and the ego thing? Yep, my self esteem is as low as it gets.

The idiot left his beautiful wife and family for a ...who is willing to commit adultery. He definitely traded down. It sounds like a full-blown mid-life crisis on his part, which has nothing to do with your not being "good enough" for him. So far, the only thing that's been proven is that he's not good enough for you.

 

[Zephyr]

Shay, I too agree with CJane's sage advice.

It's a rough time dear and as much as we all truly want to- there's really nothing any of us can say to make you feel better or make it go away.

Remember to keep taking care of yourself.

Check your pms

 

[Antigone*]

The idiot left his beautiful wife and family for a .. who is willing to commit adultery. He definitely traded down. It sounds like a full-blown mid-life crisis on his part, which has nothing to do with your not being "good enough" for him. So far, the only thing that's been proven is that he's not good enough for you.

Shay, Charlotte hit the nail damned straight on the head - with full force even!

 

[penelope10]

I can tell you from personal experience that it is a huge blow to the ego when something like this happens. You need to tell yourself that you have done nothing wrong--and in time it will get better. Going to a therapist will help a ton. And having great friends also helps quite a lot.

I doubt very seriously that in the long run he'll be real happy with his choice. He and this woman are two peas in a pod--extremely selfish. The good news is that by the time he gets his act together, you'll have moved on and created a wonderful life for yourself. Good things will happen for you in the future.

Sounds like you're getting your ducks in a row and taking the necessary steps to take care of yourself. It's not an easy road to go down, but continue down that path. And eventually after the pain subsides you'll find yourself to be a much happier, confident person.

I've been there, done that, and wear the tee-shirt.