Keeping me from being a father...

[crayiii]

I am at a loss, I guess I never knew that this kind of thing could happen...

We've filed but can't find my wife. 2 PI's have given up and now we don't know what town (or even State) she's in. All we have is her cell phone which she answers but mocks either me, my attorney, or who ever else I have call.

 

[BL]

What about the Deposition ?

What about the FPLS ?

 

[crayiii]

I was told today by my attorney that we can't depos until after she is served. I was also told that she is not doing anything illegal so we can't get any law enforcement involved.

 

[LdiJ]

I am at a loss, I guess I never knew that this kind of thing could happen...

We've filed but can't find my wife. 2 PI's have given up and now we don't know what town (or even State) she's in. All we have is her cell phone which she answers but mocks either me, my attorney, or who ever else I have call.

Please don't take this wrong but is there any chance that there is more to this story than you are telling us? After 8 years of marriage this whole thing doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me. I know that things like this DO happen even when there is nothing more to the story...but this seems a bit extreme.

 

[crayiii]

you know, I kinda wish there was more to this at least then I could try to understand.

I am her 3rd husband. She is very used to having money to take care of her. She left me 4 times in the past and each time I went after her and told her I would do anything she wanted. This time I didn't...

She called me a few months back to tell me that she was involved with this other guy. She said that this time she is in it because she likes him and not for looks or money. She actually told me that he was very homely and didn't have much money.

From what I can gather, he wants to be "the man" of the house and there isn't room for him to be a stepdad.

I'm not an abuser. I'm a very good dad. I turned 5 years of photos of my son and myself, home videos, letters from her saying how good a father I am, etc, over to my attorney.

Trust me, if there were a reason, I would say it. As it is, I've been pacing my living room for days, my coworkers and employees are covering for me at work, I can't sleep, I can't eat, I am soooo stressed out! I know she isn't going to let anything bad happen to him but it's hard to not think the worse.

 

[LdiJ]

Trust me, if there were a reason, I would say it. As it is, I've been pacing my living room for days, my coworkers and employees are covering for me at work, I can't sleep, I can't eat, I am soooo stressed out! I know she isn't going to let anything bad happen to him but it's hard to not think the worse.

You absolutely have to stop doing that to yourself. If you KNOW that she is a decent parent and won't let anything bad happen to him then you absolutely MUST, for your own sanity, stop doing that to yourself. That doesn't mean that you should stop fighting...however if you total yourself in the process...destroy your career..or make yourself anything less than what you have always been due to the stress...you won't be able to continue.

 

[keyzblewz]

If her boyfriend is in the Coast Guard how can they possibly move around so much? He has to have a duty station and does not have the freedom to move from state to state as you indicated he said they would.

If this man really is in the Coast Guard and you know his name I would suggest you find out his job, who his commanding officer is and report him for his adultrous relationship with your wife. If his actions with your wife have caused him problems on his job he could face a court martial, at the very least sme big problems. If nothing else you might be able to get his commanding officer to talk to him about his behavior and a little fear might make him less willing to hide another man's child.

If he really is in the Coast Guard then he should be easy to find and keep track of.

 

[crayiii]

I called again last night at the set time to talk to me son but they didn't answer. Later both my wife and her boyfriend called to tell me to stop trying because they weren't going to let me talk to him.

This time he told me his name was something different (first name only) and that I was wrong about him being in the Coast Guard. He told me that if I wanted to be able to talk to my son I needed to sign the uncontested dissolution papers they sent.

It went back and forth for a while and in the end she agreed to call my attorney and sign a waiver for serving her papers so we can get moving on my filings.

They told me that they both called my attorney last week and he said that her PO Box was fine for us serving papers. I don't think my attorney told them that and if so, I guess I should look for a new one...

 

[casa]

I called again last night at the set time to talk to me son but they didn't answer. Later both my wife and her boyfriend called to tell me to stop trying because they weren't going to let me talk to him.

This time he told me his name was something different (first name only) and that I was wrong about him being in the Coast Guard. He told me that if I wanted to be able to talk to my son I needed to sign the uncontested dissolution papers they sent.

It went back and forth for a while and in the end she agreed to call my attorney and sign a waiver for serving her papers so we can get moving on my filings.

They told me that they both called my attorney last week and he said that her PO Box was fine for us serving papers. I don't think my attorney told them that and if so, I guess I should look for a new one...

Maybe your attorney is talking about proof of service by mail. In my state you can serve someone by mail with proof, return receipt. I wonder, though, if your child's mother will actually get the mail

 

[crayiii]

The address she gave is her mother's address in a different town.

 

[crayiii]

She called my attorney but was making a joke out of the whole thing. She told him to send as many copies of the papers as he wanted and she might get around to having them forwarded to her.

Is the only thing I can do here just wait? My attorney told me that I shouldn't look into any of the locator services unless I believed my son is being hurt or is in danger of being hurt (I don't).

 

[Venus05]

I was told today by my attorney that we can't depos until after she is served. I was also told that she is not doing anything illegal so we can't get any law enforcement involved.

the PI found them but he wasn't too subtle... He tracked the guy down through his work and followed him home. Knocked on the door and my wife answered. He told her his name and stuck his hand out to shake it and she told him her name and shook it. Then he left...

When the PI found them, you said that she freaked and fled again, so therefore papers could not be served. You also said that you were told she was not doing anything illegal. I think you should definitely file for custody and get a Court Order. Her and your son's disappearance will then become a legal matter and she will have to reciprocate or be charged. You need to act on this ASAP. The longer you hold off, the more difficult the situation is going to become and she will continue to brainwash. After 3 husbands and possibly a 4th on the way, you are dealing with a very selfish and vicious woman. Your son deserves better than living a lie with his mother and never knowing his real father. It sounds like it is going to be a long haul and not an easy one. I feel very bad for you and moreso for your son. Do your best to maintain perservance, patience and faith. With these three things, you can never lose and things always have a way of working out.

 

[crayiii]

we have filed and my attorney did the standard full legal and physical custody language. We are sending the papers to her mom's PO box as well as the newspaper in the last town she was in. She spoke to my attorney and said she would sign the waiver after her mom forwarded the papers to her but my guess is after seeing what is in them, she won't.

she told me last night that if I didn't allow her boyfriend to adopt she was going to ask for alimoney and do what she could to make things difficult.

I just can't help but think that if I were the one that left with my son, the police would be all over me...

 

[crayiii]

it's a bit frustrating. Since there are no judgements she isn't breaking any laws so law enforcement won't (I don't believe) get involved.

We simply can't find her. She is living with her boyfriend and we don't know his name. The first name we had was false, it was a real person but not the right one. We spoke on the phone with him and his commanding officer we are convinced he isn't the one. The Coast Guard is not interested in allowing us to go on a "fishing expedition" to find him (assuming he is in the CG) and I don't blame them one bit.

If we can't find her, we can't serve the papers. We will post it to the newspaper in the last known city but my attorney believes that it might be an uphill battle to get a default judgement based on that.

All I have is her cell phone number which she does answer. Her mom is getting and paying the cell phone bill. The PI was able to get that information.

She has not asked my son's school to forward records anywhere. His Dr. said that she has not requested immunization records be sent anywhere.

She and her boyfriend call and try to bait me into saying things on the phone (I think they record the calls). The last one was him asking me what I was going to do if I found them. He kept saying "what are you going to do, kill me?"

I'm starting to run out of money so I had to call the investigators off.

I know this will end eventually but in the mean time, my son and I are out of contact. The longer this goes, the harder it is going to be for him to "know" me again.

I really want the taunting phone calls to stop but I don't want to cut off the only hope of communicating with my son.

I'm ranting, I know...

 

[LdiJ]

it's a bit frustrating. Since there are no judgements she isn't breaking any laws so law enforcement won't (I don't believe) get involved.

We simply can't find her. She is living with her boyfriend and we don't know his name. The first name we had was false, it was a real person but not the right one. We spoke on the phone with him and his commanding officer we are convinced he isn't the one. The Coast Guard is not interested in allowing us to go on a "fishing expedition" to find him (assuming he is in the CG) and I don't blame them one bit.

If we can't find her, we can't serve the papers. We will post it to the newspaper in the last known city but my attorney believes that it might be an uphill battle to get a default judgement based on that.

All I have is her cell phone number which she does answer. Her mom is getting and paying the cell phone bill. The PI was able to get that information.

She has not asked my son's school to forward records anywhere. His Dr. said that she has not requested immunization records be sent anywhere.

She and her boyfriend call and try to bait me into saying things on the phone (I think they record the calls). The last one was him asking me what I was going to do if I found them. He kept saying "what are you going to do, kill me?"

I'm starting to run out of money so I had to call the investigators off.

I know this will end eventually but in the mean time, my son and I are out of contact. The longer this goes, the harder it is going to be for him to "know" me again.

I really want the taunting phone calls to stop but I don't want to cut off the only hope of communicating with my son.

I'm ranting, I know...

Your attorney is right that it may be an uphill battle to get a judge to agree that service via publication is adequate in this case. The reason for that is that the child is not in your physical custody. If the child WAS in your physical custody it would be easy to get the judge to acept service by publication.