living with fiance...

[tammied]

One more thing! THANKS!!!!!!! At first i didn't feel like I deserved the way you responded, I see now if I had been talked to like that before I probably wouldn't have went as far as I did. I want to go back to Bama to be closer to my son and I'm trying to get my fiance to go with me but if he don't want to go I guess I should leave and go anyway. I know he loves my son, or me alot,otherwise I don't think he would've helped me get that loan.I moved from Bama to get away from "bad influences" I did have a problem. I haven't had this arrise for over a year but I still go to meetings. I think I have fair chance to keep out of the bad stuff, my will is strong. I not planning on moving for awhile seeing as how I want to go back to school and I just got these jobs, small but working.

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

One more thing! THANKS!!!!!!! At first i didn't feel like I deserved the way you responded, I see now if I had been talked to like that before I probably wouldn't have went as far as I did. I want to go back to Bama to be closer to my son and I'm trying to get my fiance to go with me but if he don't want to go I guess I should leave and go anyway. I know he loves my son, or me alot,otherwise I don't think he would've helped me get that loan.I moved from Bama to get away from "bad influences" I did have a problem. I haven't had this arrise for over a year but I still go to meetings. I think I have fair chance to keep out of the bad stuff, my will is strong. I not planning on moving for awhile seeing as how I want to go back to school and I just got these jobs, small but working.

My response:

You're welcome, and yes you did deserve it. But, that's what drugs and alcohol do to a person. You're just fortunate that I'm not your Family law judge. I would have done much more to you than just say "words" to you. You'd be doing 10 days behind bars.

But, I'm glad to read that you, AND your child, will be doing better as a result of your fine efforts.

Just remember - - don't move too fast! Take it slow, and one day at a time. Don't rush!

Baby steps, kiddo. Baby steps.

IAAL

 

[carofl93]

Tiptoes,

I don't believe it's legal for your ex to withhold visitation because of unpaid child support. DH's ex tried that with us because her child support was paid on the 15th of the month rather than the 1'st when she really wanted it. She also succeeded in withholding visitation by telling some rather large lies which came back to bite her butt in the end. We, too are waiting for child support to start from her mom, fat chance of us ever seeing a dime of that money as she quit her job voluntarily less than 2 weeks after we got primary physical custody and has done nothing other than feed her fat face since then. I do hope you find work soon, and good luck on this issue.

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

Tiptoes,

I don't believe it's legal for your ex to withhold visitation because of unpaid child support. DH's ex tried that with us because her child support was paid on the 15th of the month rather than the 1'st when she really wanted it. She also succeeded in withholding visitation by telling some rather large lies which came back to bite her butt in the end. We, too are waiting for child support to start from her mom, fat chance of us ever seeing a dime of that money as she quit her job voluntarily less than 2 weeks after we got primary physical custody and has done nothing other than feed her fat face since then. I do hope you find work soon, and good luck on this issue.

My response:

First, the easy part. Apparently you didn't read close enough. Tiptoes did find work - - according to her, "two jobs."

Also, while child support and visitation are, in fact, two separate issues, and while it's true that not complying with one item, does not affect the other, the truth of the matter - - at least in Tiptoe's case - - it would have. You see, if Tiptoes had gone into court to exercise her rights of visitation, she would have also been "hanging" herself in the bargain. By going into court with "unclean hands"; i.e., having a child support arrearage, that she had, the judge would have fined her, and probably thrown her in jail for her "contempt of court" regarding her unpaid child support payments.

So, it would have been a double-edged sword, and she beat her ex-husband to the punch by getting two jobs, and by taking out a loan to pay off her arrearages.

Now, from what she says, her ex-husband is giving her the visitation that she needs, the children need, and that they both want.

All's well that ends well.

IAAL