Mama Drama

[stepmom&mom]

Question: Why do you have such restrictive wording in regards to visitationp daughter? However, I would understand it to be that if you are going to grandma's then you would give her grandmas' number, but then while you are going to grandma's and you stop at a shoe store...no, you don't need to provide her with the shoe store number. Unless, I am missing something...Like I asked why is the decree written like this for what purpose. Was there something else going on for the mother or the father? What the mother is doing is rediculous and very controlling. Write down every word she says...and when you go back to court - make sure you reword and get it exactly worded so that you are not in a catch 22. But more importantly when the mother does this, this must really frustrate the visit and put pressure on the child...definitely, bring up that this type of behavior is unnecessary...

I know EXACTLY what you mean, and I feel the same way. This visitation schedule is something that BM's lawyer came up with that we agreed to in order to settle out of court. Honestly, we were told that this schedule was not intended to be a strict order, but rather a general guideline to get visitation going. The problem is that this order depends on the parents to do the right thing and to work together. IOW, if it seems like the child is doing well with the first step, then you can continue to the second, and so on and so forth until a standard visitation schedule takes affect. It seemed like a good idea at the time and he just signed it.

Unfortunately, we did not get what we bargained for. I did not realize how controlling this person was until I had to deal with her in this situation. I mean, seriously, she was so controlling that during the first phase when the visitation was supervised, she would never allow it to be at a neutral place. She insisted that it be in her home, with her mother there, and with the visitation occurring in the daughters room (no going outside to play, watching movies or talking to her brother.) My husband willingly went through the charade for eight weeks looking for the light at the end of the tunnel...

but it never came.

After 4 months, she would not release her daughter for unsupervised visits, and this is when we sought to file contempt. We settled out of court, got a parental coordinator, and the rest is history. Personally, I think she's seeking revenge for us pushing the issue. She wanted him to happily continue coming to her home for a visit. And she did not want her daughter to meet me or her stepbrother or halfbrother...ever.

It's been a virtual nightmare. I feel like we are being treated like criminals....no, worse than criminals. I've known people who have gone to prison and had no problem getting standard visitation. I guess where we went wrong was that we really believed that if we compromised and attempted to stay out of court, then we would look better. But in this case, we really should have gone to court from the get go. Even the parenting coordinator says she's never in her life seen a visitation schedule like that nor does she believe that any court would order such.

 

[Gingermom]

And another thing...

The next thing I think of is that you and your husband are being harrassed. If you are being interrogated for going to a shoe store your rights have been taken away plus the children walk away from this feeling bad...the mother's behavior (write all of it down, even what the children say) if it is frustrating the visitation must come to a halt.

Is it like this most of the time? or just once in a blue moon?

 

[stepmom&mom]

It is like this 100% of the time. It is so frustrating that it brings my husband to tears. She has called my work repeatedly and filed false claims of insurance fraud because I put her daughter on my insurance policy and she filed for a VPO back in 2003 (which was denied) right after we got married. He has even thought of giving up because we don't have the funds to go on and on. She says she has plenty of money and can do this forever.

 

[JulieHun]

trailer city??

My response:

Well, you could've fooled me!

Anyone from Oklahoma who acts like she has, and for someone like yourself who shops at Wal-Mart, "Trailer City" can't be too far away.

IAAL

Just so you know, and perhaps a bit, "off topic" but that trailer city happens to be the largest retailer in the world.

And 4 of the top 10 richest people in the world (#'s 7-10) are the offspring of the OWNER and FOUNDER of "Trailer City"

Education seems to be a bit far out of reach for some.

Check up on me.
http://www.forbes.com/home/2003/02/26/billionaireland.html

 

[casa]

Just so you know, and perhaps a bit, "off topic" but that trailer city happens to be the largest retailer in the world.

And 4 of the top 10 richest people in the world (#'s 7-10) are the offspring of the OWNER and FOUNDER of "Trailer City"

Education seems to be a bit far out of reach for some.

Check up on me.
http://www.forbes.com/home/2003/02/26/billionaireland.html

IAAL has a rare form of Tourettes syndrome- he has to say "Trailer Trash" or some version of a "trailer-type" insult when responding to people who live in certain states in the U.S. Not all Californian's are this way though

 

[stepmom&mom]

I guess it's comparative to red vs. blue states eh?

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

Just so you know, and perhaps a bit, "off topic" but that trailer city happens to be the largest retailer in the world.

And 4 of the top 10 richest people in the world (#'s 7-10) are the offspring of the OWNER and FOUNDER of "Trailer City"

Education seems to be a bit far out of reach for some.

Check up on me.
http://www.forbes.com/home/2003/02/26/billionaireland.html

My response:

I wasn't referring to Wal-Mart as "Trailer City", if you read real closely. What I was referring to is that Wal-Mart caters to Trailer People who happen to live in, or very near to, Trailer City, USA.

In other words, if you live near a Wal-Mart, you know you live in the poorer section of town.

When was the last time you saw a Wal-Mart in Beverly Hills, California?


IAAL

 

[BelizeBreeze]

Ahhhh Oklahoma...
where the men are men and the sheep are REALLY REALLY nervous

 

[stepmom&mom]

My response:

I wasn't referring to Wal-Mart as "Trailer City", if you read real closely. What I was referring to is that Wal-Mart caters to Trailer People who happen to live in, or very near to, Trailer City, USA.

In other words, if you live near a Wal-Mart, you know you live in the poorer section of town.

When was the last time you saw a Wal-Mart in Beverly Hills, California?


IAAL

I actually have to disagree with that. There are some very wealthy neighborhoods around here that have Wal-Marts nearby.

 

[stepmom&mom]

Also, I do not think that not being wealthy automatically makes one "trailer trash."

 

[BelizeBreeze]

I actually have to disagree with that. There are some very wealthy neighborhoods around here that have Wal-Marts nearby.

Sweetcheeks, earning $100,000 a year isn't wealthy. It's pocket change

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

I actually have to disagree with that. There are some very wealthy neighborhoods around here that have Wal-Marts nearby.

My response:

Sweetheart, apparently your definition of wealthy, and my definition of wealthy are totally different. In your neck of the woods, it means a person who owns more than one Still, a pick-up truck newer than 1989, and a double-wide home, rather than a single-wide.

IAAL

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

Also, I do not think that not being wealthy automatically makes one "trailer trash."

My response:

It also helps if you don't live in an Appalachian State, too.

Oh, and I love your use of double negatives. "I do not think that not being . . ." Cute, and grammatically typical of a Trailer State dweller.

IAAL

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

I actually have to disagree with that. There are some very wealthy neighborhoods around here that have Wal-Marts nearby.

My response:

Any of the wealthier cities in Southern California would make Oklahoma's wealthier cities look like "Hoovervilles".

No matter how much money you put into a Hillbilly's pocket, he's still a Hillbilly. Plain and simple.

IAAL

 

[stepmom&mom]

That's not my definition of wealthy. I personally don't care about wealth as a matter of status. I'm perfectly satisfied with living in the middle class, but there are wealthy neighborhoods in my city (Nichols Hills for example.) I can promise you that none of those people make $100K. You can't live in a million dollar home making that.