Married man uncomfortable sharing office with female

[calysto999]

My husband was offered a position in VA and we relocated from CA. He was told initially that he would have his own office. On his first day of work the boss stated that he would have to share an office with a junior associate who happens to be a young unmarried female. My husband spoke to his boss about being uncomfortable as a married man working in such close proximity as a young female and asked to be placed in a cubicle or to share an office with a male. His boss looked at him like he was crazy. My husband then went to HR and they blew off his concern as well. We are from California where this matter would be treated a little more delicately I believe. As a professional woman, I can't imagine my employer forcing me to work in the same room with a male if I was uncomfortable for any reason. My husband is going to approach his boss one more time to ask what can be done, but our options currently are to have him quit or stay and deal with being uncomfortable all day. Is there anything that can be done from a legal perspective? I worked with people that were given reasonable fixes to their working situation for being easily distracted, (moving cube away from hallway) or scheduling changes. We would have to pay back our relocation which is another detail that makes this so complicated. Thank you.

 

[seniorjudge]

...our options currently are to have him quit or stay and deal with being uncomfortable all day.
...

You are correct.

Being comfortable at work is not a right...even in California.

 

[mlane58]

My husband was offered a position in VA and we relocated from CA. He was told initially that he would have his own office. On his first day of work the boss stated that he would have to share an office with a junior associate who happens to be a young unmarried female. My husband spoke to his boss about being uncomfortable as a married man working in such close proximity as a young female and asked to be placed in a cubicle or to share an office with a male. His boss looked at him like he was crazy. My husband then went to HR and they blew off his concern as well. We are from California where this matter would be treated a little more delicately I believe. As a professional woman, I can't imagine my employer forcing me to work in the same room with a male if I was uncomfortable for any reason. My husband is going to approach his boss one more time to ask what can be done, but our options currently are to have him quit or stay and deal with being uncomfortable all day. Is there anything that can be done from a legal perspective? I worked with people that were given reasonable fixes to their working situation for being easily distracted, (moving cube away from hallway) or scheduling changes. We would have to pay back our relocation which is another detail that makes this so complicated. Thank you.

There ins't anything what-so-ever illegal about this and why is your husband so uncomfortable about this? Unless that employee is conducting themselves inappropriately, you or husband have no reason to feel uncomfortable.

 

[CourtClerk]

My husband was offered a position in VA and we relocated from CA. He was told initially that he would have his own office. On his first day of work the boss stated that he would have to share an office with a junior associate who happens to be a young unmarried female. My husband spoke to his boss about being uncomfortable as a married man working in such close proximity as a young female and asked to be placed in a cubicle or to share an office with a male. His boss looked at him like he was crazy. My husband then went to HR and they blew off his concern as well. We are from California where this matter would be treated a little more delicately I believe.

You believe incorrectly. Even in CA, we don't have to cater to your or your husband's irrational worries.

As a professional woman, I can't imagine my employer forcing me to work in the same room with a male if I was uncomfortable for any reason. My husband is going to approach his boss one more time to ask what can be done, but our options currently are to have him quit or stay and deal with being uncomfortable all day. Is there anything that can be done from a legal perspective? I worked with people that were given reasonable fixes to their working situation for being easily distracted, (moving cube away from hallway) or scheduling changes. We would have to pay back our relocation which is another detail that makes this so complicated. Thank you.

So, if he works in a cubicle, do the people sitting right next to him have to be male too? Is he incapable of working NEXT to women? Is this about YOU not wanting your husband to work next to an unmarried, single (probably very pretty) woman? Are you worried he's going to jump her bones? If she was married would it be different? Married women cheat too.

Is he incapable of leaving the office door open and having the desk closest to the door? If he incapable of keeping his hands to himself and his erections private? You should assist your husband in finding a job where he is only surrounded by males.

 

[cbg]

We are from California where this matter would be treated a little more delicately I believe

You believe wrongly. There is NO state, not even California, where the employer would be required to relocate an employee for the reasons you suggest.

Is there anything that can be done from a legal perspective?

Nothing whatsoever. Your husband's options are to work in the cubicle the employer says he is to work in, or to find a job that will allow him to dictate to the employer where he will sit and who he will sit next to.

As a professional woman, I can't imagine my employer forcing me to work in the same room with a male if I was uncomfortable for any reason.

Then let's hope you never get assigned to work in the same room with a male because you will have NO legal way of forcing your employer to reassign you.

 

[>Charlotte<]

What, are you Amish?

 

[xylene]

I have this sneaking suspicion that there are unstated issues in play, like previous infidelity or something like that, and / or perhaps the uncomfortable party is wife.

None which is legally protected by the way.

Either that or the matter is totally irrational or based on some equally irrational religious nonsense.

Also not legally protected.

 

[calysto999]

Whether it is irrational is subjective. There is no infidelity and I have not been communicating my feelings regarding the situation to him except in that I support him if he is uncomfortable. We are both MBAs and have been working in office environments for many years. However, we have both been in situations where our seating arrangements were private. He can't help working with women in the office but he is just plain uncomfortable being that close. The fact that it is a woman is another detail on top of the fact that he was not made aware that they would require him to share an office when offered the position. He probably wouldn't have taken it. As a manager I would definitely make to my employer if I was uncomfortable for any reason.

 

[Zigner]

Whether it is irrational is subjective. There is no infidelity and I have not been communicating my feelings regarding the situation to him except in that I support him if he is uncomfortable. We are both MBAs and have been working in office environments for many years. However, we have both been in situations where our seating arrangements were private. He can't help working with women in the office but he is just plain uncomfortable being that close. The fact that it is a woman is another detail on top of the fact that he was not made aware that they would require him to share an office when offered the position. He probably wouldn't have taken it. As a manager I would definitely make to my employer if I was uncomfortable for any reason.

No, based on everything you posted, your concerns ARE irrational. They are also unreasonable.

Perhaps you two ought to start your own business - that we you could have your own private offices...

 

[calysto999]

They might be irrational to some people. But for my husband, this is what he feels. We come from an environment where if someone doesn't want to sit next to a plant, they are moved. The company made certain things clear prior to his employment about what the job would entail and he not only has this issue but others regarding workload. Thankfully both of us are able to find positions quickly so he probably is going to take that route. Thank you for the comments.

 

[tranquility]

I am stunned. We see many things on the forum, some which are far more stupid, but rarely do any of them stun me.

No, there is not a legal way to exclude about half of the population from working in the same environment as your husband.

 

[xylene]

No, there is not a legal way to exclude about half of the population from working in the same environment as your husband.

Get job in Saudi Arabia.

 

[mlane58]

They might be irrational to some people. But for my husband, this is what he feels. We come from an environment where if someone doesn't want to sit next to a plant, they are moved.

I am thinking you are both plants and in bad need of sunlight. Who cares that you both hold MBA's, hope that is not supposed to impress anyone here. Just two plants with a lot of arrogance.

 

[Beth3]

I'm stunned too. And looking at this from another perspective, it could be construed as discrimination. The ONLY reason he doesn't want to share a workspace with her is because of her gender.

As a professional woman, I can't imagine my employer forcing me to work in the same room with a male if I was uncomfortable for any reason. And as another professional woman, I can't imagine a professional woman making that request without a valid reason to do so. I have worked in close proximity to male colleagues for decades without an iota of concern, nor would one even have occurred to me. I'd also think that as a professional woman, you'd object strenuously if someone refused to occupy a workspace near you because of your gender.

If your husband wishes to segregate himself from his co-workers, particularly because of their gender, he's going to give himself a very bad name with his new employer. I expect his boss and HR are just rolling their eyes at his requests.

We would have to pay back our relocation which is another detail that makes this so complicated. So your husband would quit if he could rather than share a workspace with a female co-worker? Bizarre.

 

[fairisfair]

I have to wonder what in the heck he does in his office that is so incredibly private....