Meet in the middle

[mariasusa]

I have no idea about the child support, my experience is anything can happen in court Do what seniors adviced...use your gross income and plug in the numbers.

As far as a place for transitions, is there a police station at a reasonable location for both of you to transfer child(ren)? I would not want to use other places since there is so much volatility.

At the least - once we had in our court order that if any issues arose at transitions (forget the exact wording, but discord), then we would begin meeting at XXX police station. So it was already written in.

I don't know legally, what your possibilites are of excluding the grandma...people always say with no proof of the substance abuse there is nothing you can do (re other parent). Since this is still parties sitting around talking, I would address it, what you've seen/witnessed, and let everyone know your not OK with it. Your attorney of course will advise you how far you can go with that. In the end though, you and dad need a clearcut list of people who can, and cannot, pick up the children.

 

[funnybabyboy200]

Hmm. I used the calculator, and it's difficult to use that calculator because my son receives SS auxiliary benefits via his father's disability. That money is taken off the top, before responsibility percentages are applied, it gives me $445 versus the $377 that the order is for. The calculator also calls for net incomes. Is it possible that net incomes ARE used? All of the paperwork I've gotten from DR office, including the support order, include net incomes.

I've used the manual worksheet that the state uses, and I come up with what DR says he has to pay.

 

[funnybabyboy200]

My son's auxiliary benefit is $193/month. 35% of $193 is $68. Your calculator told me $445. The court order says $377.

The difference is $68. So either they're both right, or both wrong. Thanks.

 

[stealth2]

Hmm. I used the calculator, and it's difficult to use that calculator because my son receives SS auxiliary benefits via his father's disability. That money is taken off the top, before responsibility percentages are applied, it gives me $445 versus the $377 that the order is for. The calculator also calls for net incomes. Is it possible that net incomes ARE used? All of the paperwork I've gotten from DR office, including the support order, include net incomes.

I've used the manual worksheet that the state uses, and I come up with what DR says he has to pay.

By Net, they likely do not mean the net on your/his pay stub. They mean Gross minus allowable deductions. Just because you list a deduction on your W-4 does not mean they are allowable for CS calculations.

 

[mistoffolees]

Hmm. I used the calculator, and it's difficult to use that calculator because my son receives SS auxiliary benefits via his father's disability. That money is taken off the top, before responsibility percentages are applied, it gives me $445 versus the $377 that the order is for. The calculator also calls for net incomes. Is it possible that net incomes ARE used? All of the paperwork I've gotten from DR office, including the support order, include net incomes.

I've used the manual worksheet that the state uses, and I come up with what DR says he has to pay.

Then DR's numbers are correct.

Go back to the calculator I gave you. I don't know the net numbers, so I used gross minus 10% (to cover social security taxes and minimal income tax). When I did that, (using zero for health care and child care), I got that he owes you $273. I have no idea how you came up with $445.

HOWEVER, you indicated that you are receiving SS benefits for the father's disability. That is likely to be subtracted from the father's portion (or may even completely replace the father's portion), so if Dad is paying $377, he's paying WAY too much.

Go over it with your CSEA.

 

[funnybabyboy200]

Oh, ok, that explains the use of the word "net". Makes sense now.

The "net" numbers that DR used are the "net" numbers I used...I didn't plug in my gross earnings at all.

I actually consulted an attorney over a year ago in regards to the SS auxiliary funds. I had previously had issues with him helping, and I wanted to file for support but was unsure if he would have to pay any. To avoid causing all kinds of hard feelings for nothing, I paid for an attorney consult. The SS auxiliary funds are taken off the top, before the costs are split between the parents. For example, if the state says the total cost of the child is $1000 based on the parents combined incomes & all expenses, the SS aux is subtracted from $1000, leaving the remainder to be split percentage wise based on each parent's income.

You would think that the SS would come off of his amount, however, that's not the case.

 

[funnybabyboy200]

And thank you, very much, for your responses. I appreciate it. We will see what happens. At any rate, I am happy to have a little relief, although I am not going to count on anything. I've gone 2.5 years without support so far so we CAN make it, just don't have too many extras.

 

[mistoffolees]

Oh, ok, that explains the use of the word "net". Makes sense now.

The "net" numbers that DR used are the "net" numbers I used...I didn't plug in my gross earnings at all.

I actually consulted an attorney over a year ago in regards to the SS auxiliary funds. I had previously had issues with him helping, and I wanted to file for support but was unsure if he would have to pay any. To avoid causing all kinds of hard feelings for nothing, I paid for an attorney consult. The SS auxiliary funds are taken off the top, before the costs are split between the parents. For example, if the state says the total cost of the child is $1000 based on the parents combined incomes & all expenses, the SS aux is subtracted from $1000, leaving the remainder to be split percentage wise based on each parent's income.

You would think that the SS would come off of his amount, however, that's not the case.

I would discuss that with your state's child support enforcement office. I'm not saying the attorney's wrong, but what you're saying is different from anything I've ever heard. It is possible that he misunderstood your question or you misunderstood his answer.

My understanding is that if it was the CHILD's disability, it would be divided between the parents. But since it's DAD's disability which causes the benefits, Dad gets credit.

 

[funnybabyboy200]

Rules of Civil Procedure 1910.16-2b treatment of Public Assistance, SSI Benefits, SS Payments to a child due to a parent's death, disability or retirement and foster care payments.

(1)If a child for whom support is sought is receiving ss benefits as a result of a parent's retirement, death or disability, the benefits the child receives shall be added to the combined monthly net incomes of the obligor and the obligee to calculate the income available for support on the vertical axis of the basic child support schedule set forth in rule 1910.16-3. The presumptive amount of support as set forth on the schedule at the combined income of the obligee, obligor and child's benefits shall then be reduced by the amount of the child's benefits before apportioning the remaining support obligation between the parties pursuant to rule 1910.16-4.

There it is. It's included as income to find the total support amount, & reduced before apportioning the support amount. So I was missing part of the puzzle.

 

[funnybabyboy200]

Mariasusa, thanks for your response. I missed it until now. There is some evidence of her excessive drinking, but I don't know if that constitutes substance abuse in a legal sense. She has multiple DUI's, public drunken-ness, etc. She isn't able to get her driver's license.

This isn't related to my case, but my ex has 3 children from a previous marriage. He and his ex-wife were scheduled for mediation this morning, and he didn't show up. Mediation is mandatory in PA, with the exception of those cases which include a participant that lives outside of the county, and those involving a PFA (here!). Neither of those conditions apply to THEIR custody case. I know that you can opt out of the mediation process after you go through the intake process, but you have to go through intake. What impact will his non-participation have on their case?

 

[stealth2]

What impact will his non-participation have on their case?

Absolutely none of your business.

 

[Proserpina]

Mariasusa, thanks for your response. I missed it until now. There is some evidence of her excessive drinking, but I don't know if that constitutes substance abuse in a legal sense. She has multiple DUI's, public drunken-ness, etc. She isn't able to get her driver's license.

This isn't related to my case, but my ex has 3 children from a previous marriage. He and his ex-wife were scheduled for mediation this morning, and he didn't show up. Mediation is mandatory in PA, with the exception of those cases which include a participant that lives outside of the county, and those involving a PFA (here!). Neither of those conditions apply to THEIR custody case. I know that you can opt out of the mediation process after you go through the intake process, but you have to go through intake. What impact will his non-participation have on their case?

It's really not wise to start speculating about what may or may not happen in his other custody matter.

 

[funnybabyboy200]

Ok, thanks.

 

[funnybabyboy200]

Picked my son up from daycare after his dad's visitation tonight. While riding home in the car, my son told me that "Ace doggie bite me". I asked him where, and he just kept saying "bite me". I asked him if he bit him in the belly, he said no, etc, until I asked him if he bit him in the arm, and he said "yes". Once we were home I took his shirt off & yes, there are definitely marks on his right elbow. Scratches that end with the skin all squished up. It isn't a horrible vicious attack that needs to be seen at the hospital, but it completely freaks me out.

Apparently his father bought a pit bull at some point in the past 3 months. It's definitely a pit, and it isn't full grown. I looked at his facebook to verify that this dog actually exists. It's name is "ace", according to the captions on the pictures.

I'm not happy. For one thing, the dog bit my son. And nobody thought I was going to find out? Nobody said, "hey, my new dog bit the baby, he's fine, just wanted to let you know, this is what happened, etc". My son fell & cut his chin at the park one day, and I made sure to let my ex's mother know that the cut was from a fall at the park. But I get my kid back with teeth marks in his arm, and not a word.

In addition, I noticed that one of the shirts I sent was missing from his bag. A red thermal. I didn't think anything of it initially, but now I'm wondering if the reason the shirt didn't come back home is because it has a hole in the arm.

I just can't believe he would buy a pit bull during a custody dispute. I have a dog, a chocolate lab, I've owned him for 9 years. He's very friendly, and he's never bitten my son. He's sometimes jealous of my son, but he's never even snapped at him, not that that means I'm not careful. Dogs are animals. They can't necessarily be trusted around little kids.

What should I do? It's not like my son is in imminent danger, he doesn't go back to his dad's until next Thursday. However, what do I need to consider under the circumstances? Nothing? Should I email grandma & ask what happened? Should I ask if this dog has gotten shots? He has owned dogs before and not taken good care of them. The last one died before he was even full grown. He doesn't take them to the vet, I've never known him to take a single one of his animals to the vet, he doesn't want to pay the money.

 

[mistoffolees]

Picked my son up from daycare after his dad's visitation tonight. While riding home in the car, my son told me that "Ace doggie bite me". I asked him where, and he just kept saying "bite me". I asked him if he bit him in the belly, he said no, etc, until I asked him if he bit him in the arm, and he said "yes". Once we were home I took his shirt off & yes, there are definitely marks on his right elbow. Scratches that end with the skin all squished up. It isn't a horrible vicious attack that needs to be seen at the hospital, but it completely freaks me out.

Apparently his father bought a pit bull at some point in the past 3 months. It's definitely a pit, and it isn't full grown. I looked at his facebook to verify that this dog actually exists. It's name is "ace", according to the captions on the pictures.

I'm not happy. For one thing, the dog bit my son. And nobody thought I was going to find out? Nobody said, "hey, my new dog bit the baby, he's fine, just wanted to let you know, this is what happened, etc". My son fell & cut his chin at the park one day, and I made sure to let my ex's mother know that the cut was from a fall at the park. But I get my kid back with teeth marks in his arm, and not a word.

In addition, I noticed that one of the shirts I sent was missing from his bag. A red thermal. I didn't think anything of it initially, but now I'm wondering if the reason the shirt didn't come back home is because it has a hole in the arm.

I just can't believe he would buy a pit bull during a custody dispute. I have a dog, a chocolate lab, I've owned him for 9 years. He's very friendly, and he's never bitten my son. He's sometimes jealous of my son, but he's never even snapped at him, not that that means I'm not careful. Dogs are animals. They can't necessarily be trusted around little kids.

What should I do? It's not like my son is in imminent danger, he doesn't go back to his dad's until next Thursday. However, what do I need to consider under the circumstances? Nothing? Should I email grandma & ask what happened? Should I ask if this dog has gotten shots? He has owned dogs before and not taken good care of them. The last one died before he was even full grown. He doesn't take them to the vet, I've never known him to take a single one of his animals to the vet, he doesn't want to pay the money.

What you SHOULD HAVE done is taken the child to the doctor immediately for examination and documentation. The first question the doctor would have asked is whether the dog had shots and you would have replied that you didn't know.

The doctor would have filed a CPS report on that basis. You could also possibly file a CPS report but it will have less weight than if the doctor did so.

You could also ask for a court order that anyone having a pet in the house be required to give the other parent evidence of appropriate shots.