Meet in the middle

[CurrentlyUndone]

Did you know that Labs have a greater likelihood of biting than a pit?

Have you called Dad and asked him about it? I can tell you that my 4yo (at the time) was nipped several times before she finally learned not to treat the pup like a toy. Perhaps your son needs to learn this lesson, too? Or he wlil bebitten regardless of the breed.

 

[Ohiogal]

Picked my son up from daycare after his dad's visitation tonight. While riding home in the car, my son told me that "Ace doggie bite me". I asked him where, and he just kept saying "bite me". I asked him if he bit him in the belly, he said no, etc, until I asked him if he bit him in the arm, and he said "yes". Once we were home I took his shirt off & yes, there are definitely marks on his right elbow. Scratches that end with the skin all squished up. It isn't a horrible vicious attack that needs to be seen at the hospital, but it completely freaks me out.

Apparently his father bought a pit bull at some point in the past 3 months. It's definitely a pit, and it isn't full grown. I looked at his facebook to verify that this dog actually exists. It's name is "ace", according to the captions on the pictures.

I'm not happy. For one thing, the dog bit my son. And nobody thought I was going to find out? Nobody said, "hey, my new dog bit the baby, he's fine, just wanted to let you know, this is what happened, etc". My son fell & cut his chin at the park one day, and I made sure to let my ex's mother know that the cut was from a fall at the park. But I get my kid back with teeth marks in his arm, and not a word.

In addition, I noticed that one of the shirts I sent was missing from his bag. A red thermal. I didn't think anything of it initially, but now I'm wondering if the reason the shirt didn't come back home is because it has a hole in the arm.

I just can't believe he would buy a pit bull during a custody dispute. I have a dog, a chocolate lab, I've owned him for 9 years. He's very friendly, and he's never bitten my son. He's sometimes jealous of my son, but he's never even snapped at him, not that that means I'm not careful. Dogs are animals. They can't necessarily be trusted around little kids.

What should I do? It's not like my son is in imminent danger, he doesn't go back to his dad's until next Thursday. However, what do I need to consider under the circumstances? Nothing? Should I email grandma & ask what happened? Should I ask if this dog has gotten shots? He has owned dogs before and not taken good care of them. The last one died before he was even full grown. He doesn't take them to the vet, I've never known him to take a single one of his animals to the vet, he doesn't want to pay the money.

Definitely a pit? Really? How do you know it is a pit? You are aware that a pit bull is NOT a recognized breed? (There are several different breeds of dogs that are actually classified as the layterm pit bull). Did the dog have a DNA test to prove that it is a type of pit breed?

 

[funnybabyboy200]

I did take him to the Dr. They cleaned it, gave him an antibiotic, and called my ex to find out about the dog. That's it.
The dog has apparently gotten his first rabies shot. The Dr. said, in regards to the convo with my ex, "he was very.....difficult (insert funny scrunched up face here)"

I'm not surprised.

I did call Grandma, and she told me my dog must have bit him. Then she hung up on me. Then she called me back and asked me how I got her number.

I wrote the previous entry immediately following finding the marks on my son. I called the Ask Mayo Clinic # through my insurance company, and they told me to take him to the hospital immediately. Why anyone would buy a new dog during a custody/domestic violence/support dispute, I have NO IDEA. It doesn't seem particularly smart. I'm afraid to work out for fear it's going to be perceived as an extracurricular activity taking time from my son. Which it's not. I don't do it until he's asleep, or before he wakes up. All abnormal activities/professional aspirations/housing changes/romantic endeavors/extracurricular activities are officially on hold until this is over. That would include adding new mammals to the household. Fish, that I can do.

 

[Proserpina]

Then she hung up on me. Then she called me back and asked me how I got her number.

.

I'm sorry - I am TRULY not making light of the situation - but I found this to be hysterically funny.

Hopefully OP and everyone else will see why

(Grandma not the sharpest crayon in the book, huh?)

 

[CJane]

I did take him to the Dr. They cleaned it, gave him an antibiotic, and called my ex to find out about the dog. That's it.
The dog has apparently gotten his first rabies shot. The Dr. said, in regards to the convo with my ex, "he was very.....difficult (insert funny scrunched up face here)"

I'm not surprised.

You did the right thing. So far. Now, deep breath, and let it go.

I did call Grandma, and she told me my dog must have bit him. Then she hung up on me. Then she called me back and asked me how I got her number.

This also made me laugh.

Why anyone would buy a new dog during a custody/domestic violence/support dispute, I have NO IDEA. It doesn't seem particularly smart. I'm afraid to work out for fear it's going to be perceived as an extracurricular activity taking time from my son. Which it's not. I don't do it until he's asleep, or before he wakes up. All abnormal activities/professional aspirations/housing changes/romantic endeavors/extracurricular activities are officially on hold until this is over. That would include adding new mammals to the household. Fish, that I can do.

This, will make you crazy. It's OK to have stuff going on that doesn't include your child every second. Work out, get a dog, live your LIFE. Putting everything on hold, just because there's a custody dispute happening is silly. And it will make you nuts - and the nutsy part? That will show.

Breathe.

 

[InfantCustody]

A dog? Seriously? People do far more appauling things in custody battles besides get their child a puppy.

Granted, it isn't good the puppy bit him, but if the dog is still a puppy it could have been a "play bite." Puppies chew, chew, nip, bite and mouth. Even fuzzy Golden Retriever puppies.

I grew up with German Shepherds. We fostered them for the PD my dad worked with, until they could go into the training program. I remember when I was 10 or 11, we had a GS named Magic. We got him at 5 months, and he used to play SUPER ROUGH. I would put a towel or shirt over my arm and rough him up, at the end my arm was covered in scratches, welts, bite marks, etc and the shirt was usually torn in at least one place. But it was all play. He was far from vicious.

I don't know how old your son is, but I would say to take a deep breath and understand 1) kids get hurt and 2) not everything is amunition for your custody case.

And as far as the pit bull part...I would be careful going into court spewing the pit bull hatred. They had a story on the news here about how the pit bull has become the new yuppy dog to rescue and have as a pet. You never know, the judge may have one at home. And unless it is illegal to own one where you live, it isn't going to matter.

 

[CJane]

A dog? Seriously? People do far more appauling things in custody battles besides get their child a puppy.

Granted, it isn't good the puppy bit him, but if the dog is still a puppy it could have been a "play bite." Puppies chew, chew, nip, bite and mouth. Even fuzzy Golden Retriever puppies.

I grew up with German Shepherds. We fostered them for the PD my dad worked with, until they could go into the training program. I remember when I was 10 or 11, we had a GS named Magic. We got him at 5 months, and he used to play SUPER ROUGH. I would put a towel or shirt over my arm and rough him up, at the end my arm was covered in scratches, welts, bite marks, etc and the shirt was usually torn in at least one place. But it was all play. He was far from vicious.

I don't know how old your son is, but I would say to take a deep breath and understand 1) kids get hurt and 2) not everything is amunition for your custody case.

And as far as the pit bull part...I would be careful going into court spewing the pit bull hatred. They had a story on the news here about how the pit bull has become the new yuppy dog to rescue and have as a pet. You never know, the judge may have one at home. And unless it is illegal to own one where you live, it isn't going to matter.

I also grew up with GSDs, and Boxers. And now, I have a Mastiff and a Collie/Shepard cross. They're MOUTHY dogs. Finn, the colliex, will grab your arm and walk away, dragging you along behind, if you'll let him. Beauregard, the Mastiff, used to love nothing more than grabbing Wild's (my 15 year old) head in his mouth and just sitting there, holding her whole head in his mouth.

Having ANY pets with kids is a risk that one or both will eventually get hurt. I've had cats that have required hospital visits. For real.

And, if this dog IS a pit? It's a pretty good guess it was a puppy/play bite/nip and not an aggressive/attacking bite. Because obviously the dog let go. THAT is the danger with pit-types. The not letting go.

 

[funnybabyboy200]

I received the court recommendation today. The order grants us joint legal, and myself primary physical. He will have parenting time from Friday @ 5pm to Sunday @ 5pm every other weekend, and from 4pm-8pm every Wednesday.

He has until 2-8 to appeal the recommended order.

 

[CurrentlyUndone]

I received the court recommendation today. The order grants us joint legal, and myself primary physical. He will have parenting time from Friday @ 5pm to Sunday @ 5pm every other weekend, and from 4pm-8pm every Wednesday.

He has until 2-8 to appeal the recommended order.

So Dad got standard visitation, which is better than what you were offering.

 

[funnybabyboy200]

I told the master that I would like to have primary, and Dad have parenting time every other weekend. The every Wednesday thing will be really good I think. It'll help Dad & my son stay connected in between. My son loves his Dad. He talks about him a lot.

Dad has ultimately lost time with his son, however. He had him every week for 37 hours, now he has him every other for 48, plus 4 weekly.
This guy drug me through the dirt for God knows what reason, and ended up with less money, and less time with his son.

He will appeal. He is already losing in every category, he hasn't spent a dime so far, why stop now.

If this order ends up being signed by the judge, I will be ok with it. I am trying to learn to have faith in Dad & his love for our son so that I can trust he will look out for his best interest.

As always, thanks for the feedback I receive here.

 

[funnybabyboy200]

I have 2 questions:

Today is Dad's day. He is sick, and can't go to daycare (daycare is where son transitions from Mom to Dad). I called Grandma and she said I can drop son off at her house. I have a problem with Grandma staying with son in general, however, I know that if I drop son at MY Mom's house Dad won't pick him up there. I don't want to create a status quo of dropping at Grandma's house, or of me providing all transportation in both directions. What do you think I should do? Grandma probably isn't drinking now, in the morning, and this many days after she's received her check (she's probably broke), so I doubt that that will be an issue. If I don't hear anything I'll probably just take my son to Grandma's.

Secondly:

The parenting plan that we received covers holidays, & visitation throughout the year. It covers transportation. my son's early intervention, vacation, & relocation.

I understand that either party can file an exception. Is this the same as an appeal? I ask because there are a few things that I think should be included in the plan that aren't. I think it would be beneficial to include custody during Mom, Dad, & son's birthday. Hierarchy of custody, vacation, holidays.

I would like a ROFR for any evening/overnight periods of time in excess of 4 hours (because of Grandma drinking problem). I understand this would work both ways, and be difficult to enforce because I wouldn't know what Dad didn't tell me. However, if it becomes obvious that son is spending most of his time @ Grandma's during Dad's time, I would like a leg to stand on. Will this provide it?

I would also like a clause that requires us to go to mediation before either party files a proceeding in regards to the parenting plan. Split cost 50/50, two sessions. I think that will cut down on the time we have to spend in court, I am hoping that we can settle this and move on, but in case we can't, on either of our accounts, I don't want to have to go back to court.

Are there any other common problems that haven't been spelled out?

I want to use this opportunity while we are already embroiled in this whole process to handle as much as possible so we don't have any problems in the future. I anticipate Dad and I being able to get along much better if we have a detailed plan.

Thanks in advance. I appreciate it.

 

[mistoffolees]

I have 2 questions:

Today is Dad's day. He is sick, and can't go to daycare (daycare is where son transitions from Mom to Dad). I called Grandma and she said I can drop son off at her house. I have a problem with Grandma staying with son in general, however, I know that if I drop son at MY Mom's house Dad won't pick him up there. I don't want to create a status quo of dropping at Grandma's house, or of me providing all transportation in both directions. What do you think I should do? Grandma probably isn't drinking now, in the morning, and this many days after she's received her check (she's probably broke), so I doubt that that will be an issue. If I don't hear anything I'll probably just take my son to Grandma's.

You said it's Dad's day. What is your problem with him getting the child if he is able to do so?

You really need to stop with the attempts to deny Dad's visitation.

Secondly:

The parenting plan that we received covers holidays, & visitation throughout the year. It covers transportation. my son's early intervention, vacation, & relocation.

I understand that either party can file an exception. Is this the same as an appeal? I ask because there are a few things that I think should be included in the plan that aren't. I think it would be beneficial to include custody during Mom, Dad, & son's birthday. Hierarchy of custody, vacation, holidays.

I would like a ROFR for any evening/overnight periods of time in excess of 4 hours (because of Grandma drinking problem). I understand this would work both ways, and be difficult to enforce because I wouldn't know what Dad didn't tell me. However, if it becomes obvious that son is spending most of his time @ Grandma's during Dad's time, I would like a leg to stand on. Will this provide it?

I would also like a clause that requires us to go to mediation before either party files a proceeding in regards to the parenting plan. Split cost 50/50, two sessions. I think that will cut down on the time we have to spend in court, I am hoping that we can settle this and move on, but in case we can't, on either of our accounts, I don't want to have to go back to court.

Are there any other common problems that haven't been spelled out?

I want to use this opportunity while we are already embroiled in this whole process to handle as much as possible so we don't have any problems in the future. I anticipate Dad and I being able to get along much better if we have a detailed plan.

Thanks in advance. I appreciate it.

There will be instructions for filing an exception or an appeal. Follow them.

As for the rest, you really should have introduced all those things earlier. Since you didn't, why should the court waste its time discussing them now?

It looks like you got standard visitation. You need a strong reason to vary from that if Dad objects. "I don't want the child to spend time with Dad" is not a good reason.